ALWAYS

I sat in Harry's front yard with Sophia and Brynn watching Darcy, Harry and the rest of the boys. They were leaving for the next leg of their tour. Darcy stood sadly between Harry and Niall while they loaded all of their things into the cars. Darcy had a firm grip on Harry's shorts while he laughed and joked with the other boys. My heart was hurting for my daughter. She loved all of the boys so very much but she loved Harry the most. He was her best friend, her playmate and the closest thing to a father she'd ever had. I hated that she was so upset by his leaving.
Harry knelt down next to Darcy. He was smiling as he spoke to her. I could see that Darcy wanted to smile but she just couldn't. Harry fixed Darcy's dress as he kept talking to her. I could tell by the way she was looking at him that he was reassuring her. I sat up a little more when I saw Darcy's bottom lip quiver. I knew she was about to cry.
"It's so heartbreaking watching those two." Sophia whispered of Harry and Darcy. I nodded and kept my eyes on my child.
"She really loves him. It's actually the sweetest thing I've ever seen. I don't think I've ever seen Harry so happy before." Brynn gushed.
"You should've seen him with Enola." Sophia giggled. I smiled and looked at my feet. "Those two had smiles that were so bright they put the sun to shame. Always kissing and laughing and holding each other." Sophia informed Brynn. Brynn appeared so intrigued by the recollection. "The way he is with Darcy is the same, just, you know, innocent. I can't wait to see what he will be like when you two get back together." Sophia grinned, bumping her shoulder against mine. I turned and glared at her a little. "What? You can't tell me that you haven't thought about it in the last few weeks. And that whole thing with you and him basically getting ready to do the dirty in the kitchen?" I made my glare more intense. "Come on E. I was there the first time around. I can see that you still love him, even if he doesn't." Sophia grinned wickedly.
"No." I stated firmly. I stood and went over to Harry and Darcy. I smiled as I came closer to my daughter. Harry was still talking to her.
"I'm sorry. I can't take you with me, babygirl." Harry told her sadly. Darcy pouted and stomped her foot. "Darcy, if I take you with me, who is going to stay here and take care of Mummy? Don't you think that Mummy would be sad if you weren't with her?" Harry asked. I rested my hand on the back of Harry's head, playing with his hair. "Mummy needs you and I promise that I will call everyday. And if you think I'm not going to call, you can call me, whenever you want." Harry assured Darcy.
"Whenever?" Darcy seemed as though she didn't believe him.
"Whenever, babygirl. You are more important than anything, okay?" Harry spoke calmly but firmly. Darcy nodded then wrapped herself around Harry. I wanted to burst into tears right then. Harry released her after a long and tight hug, "Why don't you go hug Uncle Louis and NiNi?" Darcy agreed, bouncing off to the other boys. Harry stood and turned to me with an awkward smile, "Hey."
"Hi." I giggled. The air between us grew thick. Things had been a little more tense for us since we shared that passionate, steamy kiss in my kitchen. "You did really good with her. " I smiled weakly. "She's a handful when she doesn't get her way."
Harry hummed, "Yeah, I wonder where she gets that." I stuck my tongue out at him. "I'll bite that off." Harry teased before snapping his jaw at me. I laughed loudly and pushed him away. "She really can call whenever she wants." Harry stated, his voice showing absolute honesty. "You too. If you need anything, call. I don't care what it is." Harry insisted. I nodded, knowing if I didn't agree he would throw a fit similar to the ones Darcy would throw. As I thought of it, I heard Darcy start to get rowdy with Louis. Harry's head snapped around quickly, the way mine did.
"Darcy." Harry warned, dropping the pitch of his voice. Darcy sucked her bottom lip in and stared at her feet. "You be nice. No one wants to leave you." Harry stated.
"Then why do you have to go!" Darcy cried.
"That is definitely your daughter." Harry glared at me a little as he pointed to my crying toddler. I hid a smile, thinking of the times that I told Harry that I didn't want him to go. Harry sighed heavily and made his way to Darcy. He picked her up and they started talking quietly again.
Louis put his arm around my shoulders, "How ya doin', kid?" I shrugged and rested my head on his shoulder. "Have you heard anything yet?" Louis asked of the test I had done for Darcy.
I shook my head, "Nothing yet." I gazed up at Louis, "What if it was the wrong choice? Deciding to find out?"
"It's not. At least you'll know." Louis motioned to Harry, "He'll know." I looked at Louis with pleading eyes. "Enola. He wants to be her dad. If she's his you can't keep her from him any longer."
"Does that look like keeping them apart?" I whispered harshly pointing to Harry holding Darcy.
Louis glared at me, "She needs to be able to call him daddy. He needs to be able to have her without you looming over them all of the time. I'm sure if you knew for sure, you'd be more willing to start over with him." I glared back at Louis. "Enola, you've kept them apart long enough. If I had Freddie kept from me, I would freak. This has been hard enough the way it is. They need to know."
"Yeah? And what if Harry isn't her dad? Huh? What then? With this Charles can really take her from me. I don't want to lose my baby because that man is on a sadistic vengance spree." I snapped at Louis quietly.
"Would I push you to do this if I had any doubt that Harry was her dad?" Louis asked like I was being unruly.
"If he is and he gets mad that I didn't tell him, I'm telling him you thought she was his this whole time. You kept her a secret too." I threatened Louis.
Louis rolled his eyes, "No you won't. You love him too much to tell him that. You'd rather be the bad guy once again then let him hurt more than he has to." I glared at Louis then stomped away from him. I walked into Harry's house then slammed the front door. I hated when he was right.
I sat on Harry's sofa glaring at the wall with my arms folded over my chest. I heard the front door open and close. After just another moment, Harry was sitting on the coffee table in front of me. He smiled warmly at me. I quickly averted my eyes. I was still too angry to speak.
"Are you upset that I'm leaving too?" Harry inquired with a cheeky tone. I didn't reply. Harry pulled my arms away from my chest. "Come on, Noli. Talk to me." I sighed heavily and decided it was best to only tell a half truth.
"I'm used to you leaving. Sophia and Brynn are used to the leaving." I began. It was an honest concern I'd had since the moment that Harry had stepped into my life and my daughter's life.
"Darcy's not." Harry stated sadly. I nodded. "Well, isn't she used to Louis and Niall going away?" Harry inquired.
"We've never actually lived in the same cities as Louis and Niall. She used to them only being around for a few days at a time then leaving. She always knew that they were just visiting." I explained. "But you, you see her almost every day and she loves you so much."
"Noli, she can call me whenever she wants. You can bring her to visit if you want. None of the boys would mind it." Harry stated with a smile. I couldn't help but still show my sadness; there was so much more that I wanted to say. Harry kissed my hands, "Everything will be okay, Noli. I promise. I'm going to come home and everything will be the way it's been for the last few weeks." Harry leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "Everything will be okay."



I carried Darcy into our house quietly. She was done crying about Harry leaving but she was still quite sad. I hated seeing her crying the way she was on Harry. It hurt to see him so torn up about leaving as well. I knew he was trying his hardest not to cry as well but Darcy's melt down had gotten to him. As much as Harry and I mentioned the fact that he had to leave, it didn't really prepare her for his departure.
I set Darcy down on the sofa then put her things in the main hall. I hated having a cluttered living room. I already had too many bouquets of flowers all over. I loved the way all of the bouquets brightened up my home. I had even started to paint them but at the same time: there were just too many. Over the last week I thought that I would be able to charm the delivery boy into telling me who had sent them. But when I was sure that he was about to tell me, he clamed up. I was dying to know who thought so highly of me. When I turned to make my way back to my daughter, there was a knock on the front door. I lifted my eyebrow. Who could it be? Sophia and Brynn had both made plans for the rest of their day. I opened the door to see a delivery guy; he was holding flowers as usual.
"Hello there." I smiled pleasantly at him.
"Hi Ms. Grace." The boy smiled back at me. "Sorry we won't be seeing you any more. This is the last one." He stated placing a bouquet of red roses in my hands. "I hope you figure out who sent them. Must be some one pretty special." The boy sounded a bit nervous.
"Me too. Thank you." I spoke politely when all I wanted was to scour the bouquet for a note of some kind, something that would tell me who had sent them.
"Have a nice day." The boy said before walking off my doorstep. I closed the door quietly and went to the living room to sit with Darcy. Once I sat down, she was sitting as close to me as possible.
"Ooooh those are pretty, Mummy." Darcy giggled and rested her cheek on my arm. I nodded and started to carefully shift the flowers about, looking for a note. Finally, I found it: ALL MY LOVE, written in a beautiful script. Tears formed in my eyes and I bit down on my bottom lip. I couldn't wrap my mind around what was happening. "Mummy, are you okay?" Darcy's little voice sounded worried. "Mummy?" She whispered. I set the flowers on the table in front of us.
"Darcy, do you know anything about the flowers?" I asked my beautifully perfect child, trying not to cry. Darcy nodded with a huge smile. I felt my heart start to beat faster. "Do you want to tell Mummy what you know?"
Darcy sat up and brushed her chocolate curls away from her face, "Harry and I did it." I looked at her completely shocked. "I told Harry that you had the sad cries a lot and that I didn't want you to be sad anymore. So Harry said we would do something nice for you. I got to pick out all of the flowers and how many you gots and then Harry buyed them all. And he told the lady to write on there that he loved you." Darcy was grinning ear to ear as she spoke. I fought my tears as I stared at my daughter. "Mummy, are you okay?" Darcy asked, climbing into my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight. I squeezed her as she whispered, "I love you, Mummy."
"I love you, baby." I murmured. Darcy and I released each other from the suffocating embrace. I pushed her hair behind her shoulders then held her face in my hands. "I love you so much. You and Harry are my whole world." I kissed her little, chubby cheeks and forehead. "I love you more than anything." I whispered to Darcy once again.
"Harry and I love you too, Mummy." Darcy giggled.
I pressed my forehead to Darcy's, "Hey, why don't we take a nap? Then when you get up you can call Harry? What do you you think?" Darcy nodded and jumped off my lap. I knew she was only getting right to her nap so she could call Harry. I giggled and followed her to the kitchen for her pre-nap routine.

Finally, Darcy had fallen asleep. I closed her bedroom door and made my way down the stairs. I stopped walking when the events of the day hit me again. I sat down on the stairs to catch my breath. Five years. Five years and he still loved me the way he did then. I buried my face in my hands as I started to cry. The man should've hated me. With everything that I had done to him, that I made him go through, that I could possibly make him go through in the next few weeks, he should've hated me. I stood from the stairs after another moment. I went to the kitchen to find my phone. I was going to call Harry. I was going to call Harry and tell him that I still loved him the way he loved me. I was going to tell him that there was a good chance he was Darcy's father. I planned on laying it all out on the table then see where we were. I wanted to make things as close to the way things were before.
I picked up my phone to dial Harry. Just as I was about to press the button to call him, I noticed the magazine on the counter. Something Brynn left behind, no doubt. After being with Harry, I'd grown very angry with media. I hated the way they presented the boys. I noticed Harry's name on the cover. Out of pure curiosity, I opened it. I wanted to make sure that my daughter was not shown at all. When I flipped to the page with Harry, anger filled my veins. On the page, there was a photo of Harry with a young, bubbly looking girl. She had doe eyes and a school girl smile for him. He seemed uninterested almost though. He was walking close to her and other photo showed her holding his hand. I slammed the magazine shut and threw my phone back on the counter. I wasn't in the mood to speak to him anymore.

Notes