ALWAYS

I lifted my eyebrow when I heard Enola making a lot of noise upstairs. I shifted Darcy onto the sofa, leaving her sleeping body in a comfortable position. I smiled at her sleeping frame and brushed her curls away from her face. I got up from the sofa quickly when I heard Enola curse. I laughed. It always sounded so funny when she cursed. It didn't happen often and when it did it was because she was genuinely annoyed. I climbed the stairs quietly. I wasn't sure of what Enola was up to and I didn't want to wake Darcy by being loud. I opened my bedroom door only to see an empty bed and no sign of Enola. I furrowed my brows, not knowing where she was. I turned my head and saw the light under the bathroom door. I walked over to the door quietly.
"Noli?" I called out. I heard her drop things then swear again. "Noli?" I asked again pushing the door opened. "Noli, what are you doing?" I inquired seeing her bright red and nervous face.
"Looking for asprin." She replied softly. I eyed her for a moment and opened the cabinet again. I grabbed the bottle from the top shelf then placed it in her hand. She giggled nervously, "Short person vision." I still eyed her, wondering what was really going on. "Thanks. Never would've seen it." She smiled weakly. I leaned against the door frame with my arms crossed. "What, Harry?" Enola sighed, dropping her arms to her sides.
"I know when you're lying to me. You're forgetting I know when you're lying." I replied quietly with a bit of a smirk.
"I'm allowed to lie to you now." Enola stated softly, avoiding eye contact with me. She looked down at the aspirin bottle in her hand, "You made that choice." I frowned and reached out to her, trying to take her hand. She turned her face from me. I could see that she was about to cry.
"Noli." I murmured, taking a step closer to her. She ran her hand through her hair and inhaled deeply.
"Darcy and I should go home." Enola stated, her voice filled with sadness. She tried to move past me into the bedroom.
I stopped her by putting my arm out, gripping the other side of the door frame, "Just stay. She's asleep on the couch." Enola stared up at me with tears in her eyes. "I deserved that comment. I deserved it. I'm not mad. Just stay." I pleaded. I sounded desperate but I really didn't care. I liked having them around.
"Harry." Enola sighed, her eyes pleading.
"Come on, Noli. Just stay here. Niall is supposed to come over soon. Darcy would want to see him." I tried a new tactic since straight up begging wasn't working. Enola frowned and her shoulders sagged.
"MUMMY! MUMMY!" Darcy cried from the living room. Enola set the aspirin bottle on the counter then brushed past me quickly. I wasn't going to keep her from her crying child. I groaned softly when she left the bedroom. I knocked my head against the door frame a few times, scolding myself for making her upset. I inhaled steadily then made my way back to the living room to play with Darcy.
Enola sat on the sofa with Darcy in her arms. Niall was in my chair looking at Enola with concerned eyes. Darcy saw me and her eyes lit up. She wiggled off Enola's lap and ran into my arms. I picked her up in a smooth motion.
Darcy smiled at me and twisted her fingers in my hair, "Can I sleep in your bed again?"
"Are you still sleepy, baby girl?" I replied, feeling my heart lighten at the sight of her smile. She nodded slowly and rested her head on my shoulder. I looked over at Enola, "Is that okay with you or were you going to go home?"
Enola shook her head, "It's fine, Bear." My heart nearly stopped again. Three times. She'd called me Bear three times in as many days. I nodded and carried Darcy up the stairs to my bedroom.
Darcy snuggled into my pillows and pulled the blankets over herself more. I chuckled and kissed her forehead.
"Harry." Darcy whispered. I hummed and tucked the blanket around her the way she liked it. "Why does Mummy call you Bear?" Darcy inquired.
"Because Mummy and I are friends and that's how she tells me she cares about me." I replied. I figured the real explanation was too much for a three year old.
"Why is Mummy upset?" Darcy asked me in a whisper.
"She doesn't feel well." I lied. I was unsure of exactly what was going on with Enola but I hated that Darcy was seeing it. Darcy nodded and stayed quiet for a moment. "Harry." Darcy peeped again.
I laughed, "What?" She always had so many questions when we were alone.
"Are you Mummy's boyfriend? Do you love Mummy?" Darcy asked hopefully. My heart sank a little and I sat down beside her.
"Why?" I inquired. I thought it was a little odd for her to be asking me that.
Darcy shrugged, "I saw you kiss Mummy." I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. "Do you love Mummy?"
I rested my cheek on my fist, "I will always love your mother." I felt my insides turning to mush and the tears starting to sting my eyes.
"Are you her boyfriend?" Darcy repeated with a smile.
I shook my head, "No. Not anymore." Darcy frowned and puffed quietly. "Yeah. Tell me about it." I chuckled. "Why do you want to know these things?" I inquired again.
"Mummy and Uncle Louis were talking about my daddy." Darcy muttered.
I lifted my eyebrow, "So you ask me if I'm dating Mummy?"
Darcy frowned, "Uncle Louis talks about you when they talk about my daddy too." Darcy frowned and laid her eyes on mine, "Harry, why can't you be my daddy?" I sighed heavily: not this conversation again.
"Because baby. I can't be. But I love you just the same." I smiled weakly.
"But why? You love Mummy. NiNi said that you'd be a good daddy to Mummy." Darcy whined at me. "And Mummy said she wishes you were my daddy.." Darcy got quiet all of a sudden.
"What?" I asked Darcy. I felt like I was in a state of shock. Enola wouldn't say that. She wasn't in love with me anymore.
"Mummy told Uncle Louis that she wished you were my daddy. Then Uncle Louis told me to go back to bed." Darcy stated. Louis, Niall and Enola had caught her listening into the conversation.
"Go to sleep, baby girl. You and I can talk about this another day."I stated with a small smile before kissing her forehead again. Darcy was still upset but nodded anyway. "Night night, baby." I murmured before getting up from the bed.
I took my time getting down to the living room. I kept thinking about what Darcy had said: Enola wished Darcy was my baby. I frowned at the thought. She couldn't be mine. If she were mine, Enola would've told me. She would've let me be in her life from the start. She would've let me go to doctor's appointments and ultrasounds. I would've been involved in every step. Enola knew how much I wanted to start a family with her, even though we weren't able to. Enola wouldn't keep her from me. Plus, she was three. She couldn't be mine. Both Enola and I could wish all we wanted, Darcy couldn't be mine.
I stepped into the living room to see Enola pulling her purse over her shoulder. She smiled warmly and came to me.
"Hey. I'm going to run to the store for a minute. Darcy needs some things if we're going to be here for the rest of the evening. Do you want anything?" Enola spoke sweetly to me. I shook my head. "Are you sure? Not even snacks or anything?" Enola asked again.
"No. I'm fine." I chuckled. Enola nodded then placed her hand on my chest. She lifted herself onto her toes and kissed my cheek. She said a quiet goodbye then dashed out of the house. I looked at Niall worried, "Can we talk?" Niall seemed concerned and nodded. I sat down on the sofa across from him. I recounted my conversation with Darcy to him. He looked worried and amused and smug all at once. "Niall, why would Enola say that? She's the one that really left. I tried to get her back. Every day for a month I called four times a day." I asked trying to calm down.
"She thought it was best to let you live normally. What you had wasn't normal." Niall stated.
I sighed, "I know. But we could've been, after that."
Niall frowned, "She told me that she wanted you to be with someone you could always trust. Everything that you guys did always had to have some lie attached to it. It worried her that you would ever think that she could do that to you. She did what she thought was best. She was trying to do the right thing for you. She loved you. She still loves you." I looked down at my hands and tried to slow my heart beat.
"Yeah. And I guess with her getting pregnant by Charles after that, it was best that she was gone huh?" I asked without looking at Niall. I was trying to see what he would say.
"I heard that Darcy called you Daddy today." Niall stated, switching the subject only slightly.
I nodded sadly, "Yeah. It made Enola really upset. She had to leave the room and everything. It's kind of hard not being able to explain it to Darcy in a way that she can understand, about me not being able to be her dad and all. I want to be. I wish I was so badly."
"Oh Harry." Niall sighed, a bit of a laugh coming out as well. I raised my eyebrow at him. "You idiot." Niall laughed loudly. I looked at him confused. "I never really thought that you were so dense before." Niall got up from the sofa and walked out of the room. I stared at his back wondering what he was talking about.

Notes