ALWAYS

I sighed heavily as Darcy ran up the stairs with Harry in tow. She was so excited to have him around. I ran my hands through my hair to relieve the tension in my body. I wanted Harry. I felt the way he watched me. It was just as before. His eyes followed my every move and he made me feel like a goddess just for standing in one place. I felt everything I did years ago when he gave me the look that I knew so well. We were never going to be that way again but it was nice to know that I could still have a fire burn within me. I got up and went to the sink to wash the few dishes we had dirtied making lunch. I had a lot of cleaning to do and needed to start somewhere.


There was a loud knock on my front door as I walked from my bedroom toward the staircase. I sighed in irritation. I smiled when I heard giggling coming from my daughter's room. Harry must've said something to her. I rushed down the stairs to get to the door. I opened to door and was surprised to see Louis, Liam, Niall, Brynn and Sophia.
"Hello." I said with obvious shock.
"Hey!" Louis beamed. I opened the door more and stepped aside to let the group into my home. Louis and Niall eyed me for a moment then let the rest of the group into the house.
"Wow. This place is really nice. Ni said it was really small though." Brynn complimented as she stepped inside.
I smiled, "Thanks. It is small but I just need room for me and the little monster." I motioned to the stairs knowing she was in her room. Brynn just smiled more.
"So, I couldn't help but notice that the other car in your drive looks like Harry's." Louis began with a smirk.
I furrowed my brow, "He's upstairs with Darcy." I wondered why he had a tone when he mentioned it. I closed my front door and faced the group again. All of whom were smiling at me weirdly. "What?" I asked.
"This is why Harry cut out on studio time? He wanted to come here?" Niall seemed amused.
I shrugged, "I don't know. We just talked about him spending some time with Darcy today last night. I assumed he told you." I walked passed everyone and into my living room. They all followed me. All of us flopped into the furniture at the same time. "He didn't tell you he was coming here?" I inquired. Louis shook his head.
Liam chuckled, "He said he had somewhere he needed to be and he couldn't bail on it." Niall, Louis and Sophia all laughed a little as well. Brynn was being polite and tried holding it in. I wondered why they were so amused by the fact he was in my house. They all knew the way Harry was. I smiled a bit myself when I realized that he was making time for Darcy, that he really wanted to be around her. I stood when I heard a ruckus in Darcy's bedroom. Louis and Niall got up as well. I walked up the stairs slowly to check on Harry and Darcy. I could hear Liam, Sophia and Brynn talking lowly in the living room. I couldn't understand them but I knew it was about Harry being with Darcy and I and not telling anyone. Louis and Niall were also speaking lowly behind me. I rolled my eyes. Nearly six years of knowing them and they still thought that I was deaf. I opened my daughter's bedroom door and giggled. Harry sat on one of Darcy's tiny chairs at her tea table wearing her hot pink boa. Her dolls and bear were sitting in the other chairs as was she.
"Darcy Anne and Harry Styles, what on Earth are you two doing?" I asked trying to be stern. They both looked up at me quickly.
"Mommy! Harry and I are having a tea party!" Darcy said clapping excitedly.
"I can see that." I put my hands on my hips and stared them both down. "I thought I told you to clean your room?" Darcy gave me puppy dog eyes. "Hop to it little lady. Or I will make you do it alone and Harry can help Mommy with the rest of the chores." I threatened her. She jumped into Harry's lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Come on. You heard the Mummy. Let's clean." Harry said setting her on her own feet. He smiled at me warmly. "We'll get it done." Harry assured me.
"Please. I'd like her to take a nap soon." I responded quietly. Harry nodded and went to take the boa off.
"No! You have to leave it on! You promised!" Darcy said trying to wrap the feathered decoration around him again. I chuckled and lifted my eyebrow at Harry. He sighed heavily, letting Darcy put the boa back on him. I giggled and walked out of the room. Louis and Niall looked at me a bit shocked. I shook my head and smirked as I walked down the hall to the living room.

I stood silently in the kitchen as I made tea for everyone. I was waiting for the water to boil as I stared out my window. My mind was filled with memories of Harry and I in Ireland and Italy. When we were most like ourselves. I thought of the moments that made me fall in love with him. I wiped a tear from my face as I thought of the day I walked away from him. I knew that he was upset and jealous but I knew that I wasn't good for him. I needed to be out of his life.
"Enola." I was snapped out of my thoughts by Niall's smooth, Irish voice. I turned to him and smiled warmly. "Enola, what's the matter?" He inquired taking a seat at my island. I cleared my face and shook my head. I didn't want to tell him what I was thinking. "Come on." Niall urged taking my hand.
"It's hard having him around." I replied in a whisper. Niall frowned and stroked my knuckles gently. "I still love him. I will always love him. But we can't ever be the way we were." I informed Niall.
"Why not?" Niall asked softly.
"We're not the people we used to be. I'm no longer the lonely artist and he's not a foolish boy. But every time he actually looks at me, I feel like that person again and I...there was a moment today when we touched and I felt...I don't even know how to explain it." I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. "I've got a daughter and that's why he's here. He creates a happiness for her that I don't want to take away. And he's so happy to be around her. I don't want to take it away from him either." I explained.
"Enola, he makes you happy too. Maybe you're supposed to feel like the person you were when you met him. Maybe that's how you're supposed to know it's real." Niall suggested.
I shook my head, "I'm a mother. Darcy comes first. I have to create an environment for her that is stable. I don't want her to have all of the problems I did when I was growing up from not having a stable home."
Niall frowned, "Have you ever thought the instability that a life with us offers is what's right for the both of you? You thrived when you were with Harry. You were creating all the time and you were so much more...you. You are a wonderful mother. You really are. But that's not all you are. You're a woman too and sometimes you really need to treat yourself like one."
"I can't go down that road with him again, Niall. I remember the way I was when we broke up. I didn't move for a week and I stayed in my house all the time. I can't do that with a child. Harry and I are to volatile to go back there." I sighed.
"Fine. Since Harry is so good with Darcy and she is so taken with him. Go out for once. Even if it's just with Brynn or something. For a day, be a woman and not a mum. Take some time for you." Niall stated.
I lifted my eyebrow, "How did this turn into taking time for me?"
"Because you need to. I'm sure that if you focused on you for a minute and not everything about Darcy or even Harry you wouldn't be so stressed out." Niall replied with a smile. I nodded. I knew he was right but I used Darcy as a way to hide from everything else. "I'll ask Brynn and Sophia to take you out this weekend." I giggled and agreed just as the tea pot whistled.

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