The Silence That Surrounds: Screams of the Damned

Sophia’s POV:

We spent the next few hours in silence. Pure, boring deafening silence. I knew Harry was caught up in his own worried thoughts and I was simply a prisoner of my own, whether I wanted to be or not.

“We’re almost there. Just remember, keep an eye out for suspicious activity. We are wanted right now by Elliott Dawson’s gang. If they show up, you run. Got it?” Harry glanced over, his green eyes a mirror of both concern and hesitation.

I shrugged.

“I don’t care. Why the fuck are we even here if we’re wanted? That sounds not only dangerous but stupid to boot. You sure your daddy would approve?” I clipped off snootily, holding my arm to me, the useless mass of bone held securely by way of the sling that Louis and Liam helped fit me into.

“Truthfully? I’m hoping Broker can help you because I clearly cannot and I would appreciate it if you lost that clip in your tone as well because frankly, I find your attitude is completely unjust. We’ve been understanding, Sophia. I truly do not know what more you want.” Harry responded back tightly, the London Street materializing before me, the same familiar scents, noises and oblivious Londoners that went with it. In fact, I dare say that the city I once loved so much torments my memories for when your childhood is looked at the inside of a limo, what does one truly see of the world or knows its true struggle?

Harry grunted when I remained mute and that was something that seemed to get his knickers twisted a lot was my ignorance to respond to his rattling on. I simply feel –

His hand made its way over my functioning one, molding perfectly to it like a blanket. It was warm and comforting but vague as his intentions. What did he truly want from me? What truly is there left to say? I miss my brother terribly – I miss my home but I did not miss the space driven between us all and perhaps that was something I didn’t have to feel amongst these men, however hard the blow of being with them forever.

“Sophia? When I kissed you, the kiss was a mere mechanism to help calm, please do not confuse that as being played for a toy. My intentions for you are strictly amiable and I do not want our relationship to differ between us. I meant what I said before, if you so wish to leave, I will not stop you.” Harry murmured, the cobblestone making the vehicle wheels vibrate as we parked beside the ever familiar fish and chips cart, the delicious smell leaking in and watering my taste buds. I had no idea how hungry I was.

“You already told me if I leave we all die, yeah?” I muttered, pulling my hand from his and unbuckling my seatbelt, pressing my bad hand further to my chest.

“Yeah.” Harry replied in melancholy.

“Then I suppose we are at an impasse, Harry. As much as I dream of going home, dream of seeing my brother and mother again, I am not selfish. I will not drag others with me; no matter how terrible they are. When my time comes to die, I will do so with dignity – just as you will be the one to pull the trigger with the same honor. I will die at your hand because contemplating any other way seems foreign. I was meant to die and you were meant to pull the trigger. So do it now or do it later but –“ He cut me off by putting his hand over my mouth, his breathing having hitched in his throat.

From the way he forced his breathing to labor, I knew he was struggling to catch up to everything I had said and it evidently left a bad taste in his mouth.

“You know what? I’m going to go pick up some red hair dye because obviously that black is having a negative impact with your brain. I’m not going to shoot you, fuck, Sophia, I’m TRYING to bloody help you! Be a waste to just blow your brains out without probable cause.” Harry said, throwing the car in park and getting out. He rubbed his forehead tiredly and made his way to my door, opening it, lending a hand for me to take as assistance.

I placed mine within his, letting him pull me from the open door. Surprisingly, he kept his gentle demeanor through it all.

“Harry! Sophia!” Broker exclaimed, coming to meet us at the side, his hand overtaking Harry’s while he guided me towards his fish and chips cart, leaving Harry to shut the passenger door.

Broker saw my arm, his smile dropping into a frown.

“Oh angel, what happened beautiful? Or shouldn’t I ask?” He turned automatically concerned.

“Damien broke her fingers and beat her pretty bad, Broker. Uh – can we talk? I can’t believe I’m actually asking this but I need some advice.” Harry requested, scratching the side of his head, clueless.

I felt anger burn in the pit of my stomach, he wanted advice but blatantly wouldn’t ask it in front of me. I wasn’t a dog who needed to be taught to piss outside and not in the house. It was absurd, I didn’t want their help – I didn’t want his help. I wanted something familiar not being forced to adapt.

“Why are you bothering, Harry? Broker can no more help than Dylan was able to. No more than Christian. I don’t want to adapt, I just want something familiar. I just…” I truthfully wasn’t able to finish because even I didn’t know what I really wanted. I wanted freedom but I didn’t want to live. I just wanted peace.

Broker sighed, going over to his chip cart and pulling out two small baskets, filling them to the brim with fish and chips, handing one to Harry and patting his shoulder. The older man’s pepper white hair blew easily in the soft breeze and illuminated his eyes with a safe and warm glow.

“Harry, be a good lad, yeah? Stand here – eat, smile…make sure people don’t take off with my cart. I’m going to have a walk and talk with our princess here.” Broker spoke warmly to the boy.

Harry shrugged. In hindsight I think he was just happy to be back in London…or out of the cabin in general. Though I’d never admit it myself, I was going a little stir crazy.

Broker came over to me with a small basket of food and admitting, it smelled amazing. I’m not opposed to Niall’s cooking but nothing beats the street food of London. I can remember the first time I had tried a food cart, it was right outside the office building my father owned.

He gently set the small cardboard basket on the inside of my sling, on top of my arm before sliding his over my shoulders and walking me in the opposite direction.

“A sling can be helpful in concealing much more than broken fingers, love. Makes a great basket tray for when you’re one the go.” He chuckled, making me smile a little. I didn’t know much about the men who kidnapped me but bits and pieces – Broker was a mystery to me all the more on how he got to associate with Harry and the rest. He seemed more like a father figure.

“Mr. Broker? Can I ask you something?” I asked timidly, reaching with my hand to my sling and picking up a chip from the basket, popping it into my mouth.

“You can ask me the secrets of the world love but I probably don’t have the answer for you but let me have it, what do you want to know?” He asked, his eyes lighting with humor.

“How did you meet Harry? It seems rather odd you would associate with Master Styles or anything involving that vile man.” I asked, trying to make sense in my own head his reasoning.

Broker’s smile got a little bit fonder.

“Master Styles and I used to be friends. He would ask me for connections and I would deliver the required connections to him, establishing connection with both parties. He happened by one day with a scraggly, short curly haired little boy – the looks were uncanny. The boy was crying and I asked Damien. All Dam said was ‘my kid’ which, considering I hadn’t heard anything about him reproducing, it was rather odd. It became clear when Harry started begging for his mum that I got the picture quite quickly and it was the first time I had ever seen Damien just lose it. He took his gun out and clocked Harry across the mouth with it. I cooled Damien’s temper, told him I’d watch the boy for a while, while he goes on runs and since I guess Harry wasn’t listening or whatever, Damien let me do it. I gave him some fish and chips and when Damien was gone, I gave him his first knife, told him when the time is right it would protect him.” He explained, his breath calm and even.

I felt almost sad for Harry. I knew he had been taken from his mum when he was thirteen, I just couldn’t really imagine how lonely it was for him in this world. Why he toughened up to survive – why he was trying to get me to do the same. Unlike Harry though, my sense of survival didn’t want to be saved. It wanted to parish and after so much that’s happened, was I wrong to want peace?

“Harry wants what is best for you, princess. We all want to see you thrive and I can understand how difficult that can be after everything that’s happened but –“He started, only for me to cut him off.

“Dylan’s dead. My brother, he committed suicide, Mr. Broker. He was the only thing that I cared enough to keep safe and I failed. I never got to say goodbye. I never got to hold him in my arms one more time and just tell him how much I will miss him. He was twenty-one years old, a child in the grand scheme of things. A lad who had a future. We may have had a falling out, we may have even hated one another up until that certain point but he didn’t deserve to be terrorized, he didn’t deserve to be taken from his home! He was because I didn’t want to die, so I gave Harry and Damien his name. He’s dead because of me and it’s my fault.” I exclaimed, clenching my jaw. It was my fault that he was dead and I’m not going to deny it. Fuck, I threw his name to the wolves and there was no one else that could tell me it was anyone else’s blame but my own. My flesh and blood died because of my ignorance and stupidity. Dylan had been innocent.

Broker frowned, his fingers rubbing my shoulder in a gentle and comforting manner.

“Sophia? We all make foolish mistakes but your brother loved you. You’re merely only a child yourself and you could not have guessed what would, lass. Damien is a cruel person but for the first time in years, since Evelynn, I can see the worry in Harry’s eyes when he looks at you. If he’s asking me for advice, you know he’s at a loss. I know it’s hard but you have to fight. You, him and the rest of your gang need to stick close together. Damien will get his in the end and if Harry can break the spell Damien has him under, I know he will rise above and be the man I know he is capable of being. You just might be his key. The world is a heavy weight right now on your shoulders angel and you can either let it crush you or you can take the chance and let Harry and the rest help you lift it but ultimately, you choose if you want to live or die and they are no less prisoners themselves.” Broker lectured, his smile sad but at the same time understanding.

I hung my head silently, my good arm wrapping around myself at the blowing wind. I was in a pair of Harry’s loose fitting stretch pants and one of his checkered shirts that hung to my thighs. When I refused to get dressed this morning, he pretty much did it for me.

“So what can I do? I should be dead, I should have died instead because I brought Dylan to them. Tusked up like a Christmas tree. He died because he was trapped and it’s my fault. Do you truly think I can forgive myself?” I asked, popping another piece of chip into my mouth because if I didn’t, I was going to end up crying.

“I think it’s going to be hard but I think your brother, if he was here, he’d hug you, tell you it was alright. I know he would because he sounds like a loving person. He was lucky to have such an amazing sister like you, no matter your fault and I think he died knowing that,” Broker smiled, his arms tightening around me in a hug, his lips kissing the top of my head.

“Sophia, Harry was the same way with Evelyn. He came to me a week after, snuck out from the cabin to come to London – hijacked one of his father’s cars to do it. Oh, Damien was pissed but he pulled up, jumped out and he ran into my arms and cried. He was so abused and beat up – scarred even but I’m going to tell you the same thing I told him. I’m going to tell you that blaming yourself for being kind is no fault of who you are. It is not a flaw. You tried making it right with Dylan, you spent time with him and you loved him,” Broker paused, choosing his next words carefully. “Harry was so torn up about Evelyn and his mum. Oh man, his mum was a true beauty. I knew her from when Damien and her were dating and despite how cruel Damien was and is, he had loved her. Which is surprising but when she left, when he knew that she had left…well, let’s just say hell struck around London. The police found over four hundred bodies in a week belonging to victims and dealers alike. When Dam found out he had a son, he found out where she was hiding and brutally murdered her. It was in the papers but nothing on a missing child. Damien resents Harry and had she stayed, had she been honest…it might be a very different story. Harry might not be the sweet bloke I’m seeing now. I know you’re partly responsible for that so cut him a break. Just – think on what is truly important and do what you’re going to do.”

I listened to his speech with an open ear. Broker was so good at what he did with his words, the way he spoke them, the way he understood. The man is a good soul, which is why I’ll never understand how Damien and him became friends.

“Mr. Broker? You seem way too nice for the likes of Damien –“ I started but he let out a small chuckle burst of laughter, silencing me.

“My dear – when I was a younger lad, I was not your average nice bloke. No…I…well, lass…I was as cruel as Damien, maybe crueler. After all, who do you think was responsible for helping with the cleanup of said victims and dealers?” He asked, his tone no longer light, it…well, it was unnerving really and I could say nothing.

“Sophia, a lot has changed in my life. I have loved and I have lost. My turning point was meeting the love of my life. Her name was Rosaline and she blessed me with two beautiful children. A girl and a boy. Skipping the happier years – I met her through a rescue mission, she was being held hostage and her father was a political figure, they hired me and Damien for the rescue and needless to say it was successful. When I looked into her eyes for the first time my heart was trapped in them forever. It took a few years to get her dad to agree to let me give her a ring. I had to get out of the business, you know, stop killing people. I did and took up an honest day job – this.” He held his hand out to reveal himself and I couldn’t stop the smile from appearing on my face. I stepped back from him so we could talk face to face. Love can seriously have an impact on someone if they got out of the business.

“Anyhow, Damien got his bird years later, I was the first one to fall on my ass in love and the years passed by more. She became pregnant, a boy – oh flower, I was so excited…went out and got all that sporting crap because my son and I were going to the game every week. I was going to make a man out of him by the time he was five,” He started laughing good naturedly, which made me smile a little more. “He did by the way, became a man. He was so beautiful and kind. I thank his mother for that and when my daughter was born, well, let’s just say she couldn’t scrape a knee in peace. We were happy and life couldn’t be more perfect but to answer your question, Sophia, life is never easy and I don’t have much direct contact with Damien now a days but if it involved Harry, I would work with him for Harry and the boy’s sake, no one else’s. See, Damien betrayed me and that betrayal cost my family their lives. I’ll spare you the details but…I was held back while my family were brutally tortured and killed in front of me. Damien made a deal in my name and I hadn’t a clue, I only knew Damien scammed them when they showed up at my door. Took my seven and five year old, my wife…” He trailed off, fighting back a few tears as I saw the anguish invade his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” I murmured, moving forward to hug him but he stopped me, taking my hand instead.

“Harry and the boys are like my children and what hate I feel for Damien will never be displayed in front of any of them. I only tell you this because I understand your hatred and your anger. I hate the man for what he did but I’m not cruel enough to punish an innocent. My wife would be ashamed if I even thought it. Point is, Harry sees something worthy in you, he sees something he lost – perhaps even something he is finding again. If you leave or die, he will feel like you do now. He will feel that he failed and I don’t know if he can handle that again. I’m not saying not to but – I’m finding the more I speak with you, the more you reveal. No matter how briefly your words, you don’t seem the type that is selfish.” Broker shrugged while I finished my small basket of food, handing him the container.

“I’m just tired, Mr. Broker. Tired of fighting, tired of swimming against the tide to keep from drowning. I’m ready to drown; honestly? I’m ready to die and no one will grant me any mercy to let it happen.” I sighed, watching Broker hesitate, reaching into his pocket as he did so.

“Then allow me to grant you that mercy, angel. If it’s truly what you wish,” Broker frowned, pulling out a small black oval pill, forcing it into my good hand.

“This pill, when you are ready, contains a poison that has greater concentration than cyanide. Once this pill is put into your mouth it will dissolve the outer coating. That in turn will put you into a fast acting coma. This capsule dissolves quickly and once it dissolves, it is too late. So think carefully my little Juliet, Romeo can’t save you with a kiss should you have a change of heart. The poison is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. So with that, I ask you to listen with your heart for once instead of your head. Listen to what your ticker tells you, not the voices in your head.” Broker requested, clasping my fingers around the pill and guiding it to one of the pockets in the stretch pants.

I put it in the pocket wordlessly and wrapped my arm around the older man. He understood me better than I understood myself at the moment and his words couldn’t have been any more comforting. He truly knew what to say but the fact remains, I don’t know how much longer I can fight.

He hugs me back with a gentle care.

“Will it hurt?” I thought to ask, looking him in the eyes. His were nothing but truthful orbs and in turn made me feel comfortable and equal around him.

“No pain, just a peaceful sleep. I’m giving you a test here, love, one I hope you really consider but it is not Harry nor Damien’s job to keep you alive. It is your own and only you truly know what you want.” Broker shrugged but he had a slight concern still etched to his tone. I knew he cared and understood me. He was the only one who truly knew the value of someone’s freedom and I loved him for that.

“Thank you, Broker. Truly. Thank you for seeing me as a person who can make their own decisions and not personal property. I – I don’t know what to say.” I stammered, letting him guide me to the end of Elizabeth Street before turning back around towards the fish cart.

“You don’t have to say anything. If my daughter had ever been in your situation, I would want the same choice given. If you have nothing to go back to, no more family, friends –“I shook my head. Because my father kept me busy with company work, the only friends I really knew was my father’s work buddies or their sons…and I think realization just hit me. I never had friends because I never was able to truly live. Harry sees this as an opportunity for me, as cruel and as harsh as it may seem, would this group of boys be considered friends?

“Don’t think too hard on it, princess. Just –let Harry talk and maybe you will find your answer in what he has to say.” Broker finished, the chip cart in sight now. Harry had a smile plastered on his face, a white apron wrapped around him and Broker’s stripped boat hat on the top of his head, serving a basket of food to a mother and her young daughter.

He was on his knees to meet the little girl, her wide eyed big as he carefully handed her the basket, whispering in her ear.

Broker chuckled at the sight.

“He’s laying it on thick today.” Broker still laughed as we approached.

The mum of the little girl watched Harry’s every move but when she saw her little girl giggle, she let a small, cautious smile meet her own face.

“A pleasure, mum.” Harry tipped his boat hat, putting the change in till and standing up again, kneeling slightly down to shake the little girl’s hand. “And a pleasure as well, little miss. I hope your dance competition bodes well.”

Broker smiled and came to stand beside Harry.

“My apologies, Margret. I was in need of a walk. I see Harry is being ever the gentlemen.” Broker jested, elbowing Harry who took the striped paper boat hat off and stuck it on Broker’s head, removing the white apron while he was at it.

“No apologies needed, Michael. He was ever the gentlemen but Elizabeth and I really must dash, she has a competition to win and I have judges to smooze over.” Margret winked, a joke shared between the two older adults.

“You two are always somewhere. Stop by more often and give an old man a chat, yeah?” Broker requested, reaching over to hug the slightly graying older woman.

“You know I will when time permits. Until such a day I bid you a fond adieu. Come, Elizabeth, we really must dash.” Margret smiled, taking her little girl’s hand but she pulled away and came to stand in front of me, her small brown orbs glancing into my cold blue ones.

“Whose she?” Asked the girl, point towards me while her mother captured her small hand within her large one again, leading her away.

“I’m Sophia, Harry and Broker’s friend.” I reply with a small smile, making the girl’s mother halt, an impatient sigh escaping her lips.

“A pleasure really but we must dash.” She repeated again and I nodded but walked to the little girl, bending down, shaking her hand.

“Good luck and remember, it’s not about winning or losing, it’s about having fun. My dad always made me win but go and dance and have a wonderful time, don’t worry about anything else.” I said, shaking the free hand she had held out for me. After that I got up from the ground and gave her mum a pointed look. She said nothing and totted off down the street, practically dragging Elizabeth behind.

“Margret is competitive but she is a good mum.” Broker smiled.

“Yeah, a good mum. I don’t know her so I will not judge. Harry? Are we ready to head back?” I questioned, seeing his ears drop slightly with his smile.

“We just got here, perhaps a bit of shopping? Besides, I need to get some groceries, Louis used all mine up to make dozens of pot cookies.” Harry grumbled.

I shrugged carelessly.

“Whatever.”

With that I turned to Broker.

“Thank you again, Broker. You really did help.” I smiled and turned to hold my good hand out for Harry.

“Alright, let’s go shopping.” I agreed, the light seeming to come back into his eyes. He looked so hopeful…and who was I to bash his spirit.

Harry took my hand and led me over toward the passenger side of the car, a sudden gunshot halting out steps. I happened to look over the same time as Harry, Broker on the ground clutching his shoulder.

“RUN!” He yelled to us and without hesitation, Harry helped me into the passenger side of the car, while hopping into the driver’s side and speeding off.

Unfortunately, a bullet is still faster and we never even got to the end of the road before the gun blew out our tire and flipped the Range Rover onto it roof.

“Harry?” I exclaimed but that’s all I could get out, fear overtaking my senses before pain erupted.

Notes