The Silence That Surrounds: Screams of the Damned

Sophia’s POV:

Hours passed, two or three at the very least. Harry had been asleep for probably half of that. When I was sure he was asleep, I slipped my hand from his gently.

I felt lost –so, so lost. I didn’t know what to do but I knew it was my fault. Everything leading up to this moment has been mine and only mine. I did something, said something. I am the reason Harry was bruised and weak. I am the reason Louis now has burns on his face, the reason I was severely beaten. Somehow I needed to restore order and the men they were before I had come.

I grasped my brother’s notebook with my good hand, a finger tracing delicately over the words of his penmanship. His last possession to me had been the very thing that should worry me but strangely, the thought of death seems no longer frightening. I yearn it, crave it even. It is the constant thought in my head that I cannot shake; it is the very curiosity that feeds my dreams. Because, what lies beyond life? Beyond the concept of death? Beyond Heaven and the existence of Hell? What lies in the depths of Hell? What traps us and chains us to someplace? Where do we go when we no longer have our bodies and why can’t it be our choice? Why are we prisoners to destiny?

I brought my leg up to my chest setting the back of the notebook against it, my fingers pulling the cover back, revealing a drawing.

The picture was of hands chained together, strong links holding the hands captive. Through the visual, I could see how the person resisted their restraints; struggling to break the impossible bonds holding them.

Underneath the hands was one words, the cursive writing ever as immaculate.

Hopeless.

It is what he felt, just as what I feel now. Hopeless. Such a melancholy word if one truly thinks about it, a demeaning of human emotion stripped into impossible and forlorn expression. It is a word of permanent despair and for Dylan – he lost, the meaning became his world and here, in the confines of this prison, he knew nothing else. I failed him just as I failed Harry, Louis, Zayn, Niall, Liam and myself. I was hopeless and the boys knew, sensed it even. They protected me because I am weak, the same as why Dylan protected me that night from the truth of his own demise.

I felt the tears come forward again, cascading softly down my pale skin and hit my lap, soaking through the thin material of my silk nightgown.

I couldn’t stop myself from turning the page, my fingers protesting the motion. I was using my bad hand to turn the pages but somehow I couldn’t bring myself to care.

Upon the next page was another sketch. Me.

The detail was breathtaking; like an exhalation of air that extinguishes life from a flame. I felt the very same receptiveness in Dylan’s detail.

My face was positioned down slightly, eyes submissive and lifeless. There was no happiness. Just a worn down soul with nothing left to lose. He darkened my cheek and busted my lip. It must have been just after the rape.

I swallowed down the memory looking at the beautiful cursive word under his art.

Delicate.

Delicate? Was I truly?

A delicate flower, angel, dove – they were fragile things – names the boys call me. Delicate – weak. Dylan thought I was weak? No, he wouldn’t…would he? I quieted the sob that intruded out, pulling my hand over my mouth so it didn’t wake Harry. The boy could wake up hearing a pin drop and with how temperamental he has been today, I wish to not add to his grief.

“Why are you crying?” A voice suddenly whispered from nowhere.

My head snaps to the door and Niall was standing at the threshold of it, frowning.

“Why would you care?” I murmured, my attention back to the notebook.

He shrugged before walking to the bed, sitting beside me.

“I care. What’s wrong? Please don’t say nothing, I’m genuinely asking.” Niall persisted, his hand reaching over toward mine but I jerked it away.

“You haven’t acted like you give a fuck recently, forget it. You wouldn’t understand anyway.” I snapped but he kept his stare untroubled and calm.

“I won’t understand if you don’t explain.” He replied back patiently.

I sniffed, showing him Dylan’s drawing.

“It says delicate, delicate means weak. My brother thought I was weak.” I cried, keeping my tone low so Harry didn’t wake up. I was so afraid of disturbing him, especially when my emotions were so frazzled.

“Actually, delicate means elegant. It means beautiful and Dylan could not have chosen a more accurate word and definition if he had tried. You are beautiful; alluringly so. It reminds me so much of my Caroline…your beauty, your spirit.” Niall smiled, his fingers entwining into mine.

“Then why have you acted so cold lately? What have I ever done to warrant that treatment?” I asked, meeting his cold blue eyes.

“Our sunlight was stolen years ago, Sophia. This place, lass, is where people come to die. A last stop before entering this world to the next. You will need to forgive my distance. I did try but I couldn’t live with the knowledge that you were going to be killed. Even after, there was that chance. Now –now all I can see is Caroline, my love. I see it every time I look at you, every time I see what you’ve managed to do to Harry and the others. Louis least of all. You have something that even Caroline couldn’t break in him. You are extraordinarily special and Dylan was blessed to have a sister like you.” Niall smiled but it never reached his eyes and I didn’t expect it to. I knew why it didn’t.

“Caroline was strong, I’m not, I’m weak. Flower, angel, dove –those are all delicate names. Things that can be crushed or broken.”

Niall shook his head.

“No, they are beautiful. Beautiful and elegant like you. Sophia, most girls would have broken by now. They wouldn’t be walking or talking. They would be sitting on their arse, rocking back and forth pissing themselves without a brain to think by. You are here with us, you are delicate, yes, but you are strong. You have fought against the best of them and are still here standing. Don’t cry, love, please don’t cry.” Niall gently untangled our fingers and embraced me fully.

I wrapped my arms around him, needing the comfort but not fully at ease. I was to blame for Dylan’s death, I was the reason he was here to begin with. I sent him to an early death and that is something I cannot ever forgive myself for. Should I ever die, I know it wouldn’t be any less than I deserve.

“I brought him here because of a misunderstanding. I thought Dylan traded me off and I wanted revenge. I wanted to see him suffer and now I can’t ever take it back, Niall. I can’t ever tell him how sorry I am because he’s gone. I can’t –“ Niall cut me off, shushing me softly. Unfortunately, the s and h sound together seems to be an agitation trigger of some sort.

“Quit shushing me.” Harry growled out half awake…I think.

Niall snorted, this time his dimples showing.

“Even when he’s asleep, he’s an impossible patient. Go back to sleep Harry, no one was bloody talking to you.”

Harry groaned but his breath soon evened again a few minutes after. Niall and I becoming quiet so Harry could fall back into dreamland – because truthfully? No one wanted him in reality right now.

“Like I was going to say before arsehole interrupted; you can’t change the past. You can’t rewind back time and you know that. All you can do is fight to keep what you have and though it isn’t much, you have us. You have something.” Niall reasoned, keeping his tone to no more than a whispered breath.

I paused, my life coerced from my chest forcefully.

“But I don’t, Niall. He is not mine to claim nor am I his. I refuse to be the reason he or any of you die at Damien’s hands. Things need to go back to how they were and I need to somehow become stronger. I don’t have a clue how but you guys can’t keep getting hurt because of me. You need to break away before it’s too late. Damien will destroy everything, everyone without a thought of consequence. Doing as he says hurts a lot less.” I reasoned, making Niall’s eyes darken in the contrast of the shadowed room.

“He would find a way to hurt us anyhow. Do you really think that this is something new?” Niall argued but my good hand found his mouth, covering it lightly with two fingers.

“Maybe so but it wouldn’t leave us bedridden, it wouldn’t leave Harry unable to do his job properly or me hurting with sore bones and a bruised, unresponsive body. However, no, I truly do not believe this is something new. His back has been scarred three times over, perhaps more, it has been riddled with abuse and his chest has been burnt and cut by old memories. I would be a fool to think this would be the first time, especially how caustic he is.” I reasoned, my fingers slipping from his mouth, a frown now firmly planted on his lips.

“Harry has had a rough life, more so than any of us. Being the son of a monster, expectant to become and inherit the command should Damien die is a hard thing to put on a twenty-four year old but he has managed…and failed in certain aspects. He found sunlight again, dove. He found you and nothing will convince him otherwise.” Niall sighed, a wave of guilt pass over my sullen conscience. I was his weakness now.

“I cannot allow that to be his only focus. I won’t have his suffering on my conscience. It needs to be as before –you said yourself, there is no hope here. This is a place people come to die – just as I should have. I should have died to keep order and now it is all turned to chaos.” I murmured, defeated, slumping against Niall’s chest and allowing me some comfort of escape from the soft mattress. It was too comfortable, it allowed for too many thoughts.

“Your actions, Sophia, cannot be undone. The past is dead and inaccessible. The direction you’re looking for can only be straight – that is the only one now. Our lives are full of chaos, darkness, and despair – but there are moments of small mercies and you have given that during your imprisonment. To be fair, you’re the only girl I know that has gotten away with annoying Harry so much. There have been others but the fight left them the first time they were put in the box or chained down. They gave into their fate, you didn’t, never completely. You are stronger than you think – more so than what you give yourself credit for. A true fighter.”

I thought on his words for a moment, wondering if he was right, wondering if I struggled subconsciously to live. I knew when Harry pointed his gun at me that night, I pulled in breath, I craved to survive and I had done so in a less than honest way, by hatred and ignorance to misunderstandings. Mistakes that left my only family dead, an error I cannot beg his forgiveness to. It was as if I had killed Dylan myself, that I had traded my life off for his and did so without thinking of the consequence. I brought him here and to simply forget was nearly impossible.

“Does it ever get easier? To kill someone I mean. To watch those people come and go, looking at them for months on end and remembering their faces before death – after? It has to feel empty when they are no longer there…I can’t imagine it wouldn’t leave some haunted imprint.”

He disengaged his arms from me and pushed me back down so I was laying, so he could face me.

“This cabin holds many spirits, Sophia. Many, many more will darken our door and leave, it’s not a happy place, it’s not a place one can easily find contentment unless they have a distraction. There is no distraction for us. There is only death, there is only darkness. You still have that light but it is dimming, soon it too will be snuffed out. I’m scared for you because there’s nothing any of us can do. Once you lose the ability to fight, you lose the ability to live, to see the beauty that’s around. It becomes just another task, another job. Even when you begged us to die, I saw that determination through the depression – now? I can barely see anything at all.” Niall frowned, his hand reaching up to tuck in a piece of short black hair from my bruised face.

“Will I have to kill people? Is that what the training’s for? To –“Niall looked away, his touch dropping from me completely as he turned from my direction and bent down to my brother’s guitar case, moving it closer to the head of my side of the bed.

“Yes, eventually you will have to kill someone. There will come a time where you are trapped with no other choice. There will be other situations where you will need to follow a direct order…and then there will be cases of where you will simply kill as a mercy. Christian was your first mercy kill. Your father, a direct order; perhaps indirect but still implied. The point is, when you live your life how we have, eventually, all you will see the hostages as is a task until they are killed. So to answer your question, no, it never gets easier but the time that is usually spent with them is something you cannot help but to remember. We usually blindfold and gag them before death. For some reason, you were different. Harry allowed your eyes to be free. That is something you will need to ask him if curiosity gets your fancy enough to but he will most likely not give a proper answer, at least completely. His reasons are his own.”

I nodded, turning to the next page – my mouth turning agape.

It was Harry but…it wasn’t.

Niall whistled softly.

“Your brother had talent, lass. I’ll give him that.”

I nodded and traced Harry’s face with my finger, the paper smooth underneath my touch.

His face was split to two different versions, one was shadowed in anger, vibrantly held in the detail of the sketch lines of the eyes…ones I had seen in real life on multiple occasions. The other, his lip pulled into a half dimpled smile, happiness reflecting his expression –one I had never had the pleasure of seeing.

Under the sketch was another word.

Different.

Was Harry different? Was it what I did or what my brother saw?

“Dylan spent the majority of the time just drawing while you were gone. We couldn’t train him because of his breathing problems and all he did was pace the room, so I thought he would enjoy something to do. He asked for a notebook before but we had strict orders to focus him on his training. Since that was out of the question, I brought him in that notebook the one night and every time I visited, when he saw me enter to bring him food or something to drink or let him up for the loo, he would close it quickly. I never pried because I knew it would make no difference in the end.” Niall smiled at the memory, easing me into a picture of Dylan closing the cover and holding it away protectively.

“We may not have gotten along before but he was my brother and he was a good and decent guy. He was my brother, the only one who had been there for me and I selfishly pushed him away. I took my father’s side, he pitted us against one another and we both stupidly fell for it. We lost out on memories we should have had and now we’re worlds away. Apart until death – maybe never meeting again. He promised me he would never leave and he left. His memories are all I have to cherish and I can’t even see him clearly, I can’t see his face, Niall.” Tears again, my weakness – my loathing. I hate crying.

Niall simply wiped them away without prejudice or judgment.

“I know the feeling, believe me, dove, I know. Caroline is my blur. Every day it takes me longer and longer to remember her beautiful face and smile but eventually, when I dream, she comes back to me and I see her there. Beautiful and ageless, happy –free. She still haunts this cabin and in time, if Dylan is around, he too will come to you. They never truly leave us, they just go away for a while until we are able to see them again. You will see Dylan again, I truly believe you will.” Niall tried his best to comfort but I knew he was getting uncomfortable. Our talk had gone on a long time and I still had more questions than answers. If Niall couldn’t even keep his beloved around, what hope or chance did I have to ever meet mine?

We went silent again, his hand tapping on his knee self-consciously. I knew he wanted to leave and escape this room but he wouldn’t, not until I gave him reassurance that I required nothing else. So I did, I let him go, my heart heavier for it.

“Thank you, Niall. For your kindness and for your time. I’ll keep in mind what you said.” I forced a small smile, which he returned and stood up, reaching to embrace me gently.

“You’re welcome, Sophia. Please get some rest, we’ll wake you when the others come back.” He promised and gave a small nod before leaving me alone in the heavy silence with more tears and less answers than ever.

“And here I thought blonde was a complete and utter idiot. Boy, how wrong was I? Imbecil has mad skills in the inspirational speech department. Made me want to run to the loo and slit my own wrists listening to that rubbish.” Harry spoke, his tone raspy and deep.

“He was only being truthful and sometimes, truth hurts more than lies.” I reasoned, glancing into his eyes. They were filled with anguish and pain but I could see he didn’t necessarily disagree with the dyed blond.

He paused for a few tense seconds before finally firing back.

“Really? What fortune cookie did you steal that from, luv?” Harry retorted, going back on defensive. He was in the mood to argue and I wasn’t giving him the satisfaction. I simply turned from him, closing the notebook and set it on the nightstand.

“You aren’t denying what he said so it has to be somewhat truthful.” I defended, turning back to see Harry frowning.

“I never denied it, no. You’re right but nor did I confirm it either, did I? Darling, you need to be aware of Half-truths and whole lies, while questioning whole lies and half-truths. It’s all the same, Angel. We are here, Dylan is gone and no matter what we do, as you’ve said, it will not bring him back. Stop seeking forgiveness from the dead because they no longer exist here. Their problems are over and they can rest at peace. Let him be, don’t give him a reason to stick around. Let him go, we have too many ghosts here as it is and they scream in the dark, angel. They howl and if not careful; they will possess. I know because I am possessed.” He chuckled but it wasn’t dark, it was sad. “I hear every scream, every plea and every word they ever spoke to me in my head and it drives you mad eventually.”

I would have run away from the room if I could, his confession scared me because I too hear their screams, I too hear the whispers in the dead of night in my head when the wind is all but silent. That’s how I know that I wasn’t imagining it. They are constant and draining.

“They too are trapped within these walls, within this hell. Like us. We are no different than they are. The only dissimilarity they hold is that they are simple imprints of time gone past while ours keeps rolling forward. That’s what makes us alive and what makes them dead. I stopped their time but they can’t leave and neither can we. So in a sense we are already like them, but breathing. Does it bother you to know that? Hm? Does it bother you to know that we will forever be trapped and unable to ever leave? In life, in death?” Harry pressed, lifting himself up on his forearms with precious care.

“It bothers me to know that morphine gives you a meaner streak than normal. You’re not being very nice right now, Harry and if you’re trying to scare me, it isn’t working.” I huffed, folding my arms carefully across my chest.

He laughed and shook his head.

“Oh Flower Angel, you still have that hope. You still have that flame but like everything else around here, it too will die. You can’t fight the monster that’s buried inside, luv. When she eventually claws her way out- oh the fun she’s going to have and that very thing you hold dear will disappear. It will be a distant memory – like everything you ever loved.”

This time his laugh chilled me, enough for icy cold fear to spread through my veins.

“Niall?! LOUIS! HELP!” I panicked, scooting back from Harry as much as possible, making his laugh die down into a low chuckle, stopping all together.

“You’ll see, luv. Trust me, you’ll see.”

And then just like that, his eyes closed again.

Niall and Louis rushed in, both with looks of concern.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Louis questioned, coming forward as I reached my arms out to him with full ledged panic, crying and shaking.

“Get me away from him! I WANT AWAY! GET ME AWAY!” I screeched, making Louis hurriedly scoop me up bridal style, my aching body protesting profusely.

“Alright, angel. Alright, I got you. Come on, let’s get you calmed down. Niall? Tell Zayn and Liam when they get back no more morphine for Harry.” Louis ordered, receiving a slow nod.

“Right…” He trailed off, glancing at Harry’s still form; like he never woke in the first place.

I hide my face in Louis’s chest, hugging myself against him. My grip was unfaltering even when he set me on one of the kitchen chairs, having to pry my hold from him to bend down gently to my level to look me in the eyes.

He grasped my wrists in his hands gently.

“It’s going to be alright, okay? Harry sometimes, not often but sometimes will get a reaction to certain medications that makes him less than pleasant to deal with. He’s probably not going to remember and there is no use holding it against him. Whatever he said –“ I cut him off.

“He said my light will burn out, that we’re all dead anyway we look at it. He said my monster will crawl out! He says she’ll have fun when she does! THAT’S NOT NORMAL!” I screamed at Louis, making him flinch since it was right in his face.

“I know, flower. I know it’s not.” He soothed me, standing up with a little difficulty to walk to the fridge and pull out a bottle of water. “Harry is haunted though, his psychosis tends to come out to play when it interacts with certain medications and morphine, well, we now know that morphine and Harry Styles makes women scream and run away in terror...or be carried off in terror, something to keep in mind for the future.” Louis chuckled, trying to cheer me up. Needless to say, I didn’t find his sense of humor all that comforting.

“Yeah? While you’re chasing the absurdity of that idea why not dope him up on some and let him hand out candy to kids in London for Halloween while you’re at it? How could you not know it interacted with his psychosis?!” I demanded, making Louis snort but not lose his smile.

“While it would be amusing to put kids through years or irreversible damage to what he might do to them, let’s stick with my original idea and not poke his inner demon. It’s trial and error, lass. We didn’t know because he never had the reaction before that we ever saw. Niall and I will let Liam and Zayn know so they can just dope him up on an extra codeine or two. I know that would help him a lot more. Maybe he’ll stop being so moody.” Louis shrugged.

I leaned back at the same time Niall came out, sitting next to me while Louis set himself on the other side, opening the cap to the water and putting it to my lips.

I took it from his hold and allowed the liquid to refresh me, strangely comforting in the unnerving tension but it was quiet again, nobody saying a word and I was grateful but more questions kept coming and I needed to ask, just for my own comfort.

“He said the cabin was haunted, said they would possess –“I didn’t get to finish.

“The cabin isn’t haunted, Sophia. It isn’t a pleasant place but it isn’t haunted.” Louis assured, glancing down at my knee and seeing it bounce up and down nervously.

“Then why do I hear them scream? Why –“I tried again but again, he interrupted me.

“The wind outside is pretty ghastly when it wants to be, the screams you hear is simply the wind. Even when it looks like it’s not blowing, it travels lower at the bark and knocking from one tree to the next will cause it. The cabin doesn’t have spooks.” Louis answered.

“Then why the bloody fuck do I hear voices?!” I demanded, making Louis look at me like I lost my mind and truth is I probably am.

“I think maybe we should get Liam to examine you because that’s not normal.” Louis said after a slight pause.

“No shit Sherlock. They’re constant, they never quiet.” I murmured, looking down at my hands worriedly.

“I prefer to be Watson, luv but do they say anything specific to you?” Louis asked, keep a straight face but with him, it’s hard to tell what side of Louis I would get at any given time.

“No, nothing just constant whispers.” I explained and he nodded.

“It sounds like its stress, you’ve been put through hell the last couple of months. When did they start?”

I swallowed, turning my head away.

“When you all put me in that box for three days. I heard them start a few hours after I woke up.” I replied, trying not to stir up too many memories of the past. Harry suggested to let the past die with the dead…I don’t know if I could truly do that.

Louis nodded but said nothing else.

“We’ll run it by Liam and Zayn to see what they want to do with that but we’ve personally never seen anything supernatural around here, angel.” Niall explained, his eyes the normal bright blue but they looked shrouded with worry.

I took another drink, saying nothing else on the subject. I just know I didn’t want to go back in the bedroom with tall, dark and curly. Until that morphine left his system, I’d rather sit out here with the only crazy but sane people around.

“Zayn said when he and Liam get back we’ll eat and then get you two showered and wounds cleaned – which, if Liam has his preference, he’ll want Harry sedated. It’s a pain to even get him to tell us when he needs to piss let alone getting him in the shower. I wish he wasn’t so stubborn but either way I look forward to whatever amusement that is sure to follow. My money’s on Liam.” Louis laughed after the quietness was beginning to settle again.

I didn’t say anything to that, what else could be said?

Louis seemed to get the hint and this time, no one spoke their thoughts. Which made it easier for my own troubled ones to descend into their own dark hole, manifesting and clawing away my sanity like an oil drill.

Notes