Love Ridden

I hung up the phone and walked back inside the busy pub. Number Two was on her way over, finally. I made my way back over to the table. A table that was filled with all of my friends, some of the people I love most. I took my seat across from my absolute favorite person in the world. Madelyn smiled at me and her eyes sparkled. They looked so blue and bright, even in this dark pub.

Her smile has always made my breath catch in my chest. This time though I tried to ignore the feeling. I had made the decision to try and forget how she makes me feel. How every time I see her I want take her in my arms and kiss her. She is just my friend. My best friend. My Number One. But even though I want so much more than just her friendship, it can’t happen if she doesn’t feel it too.

So that’s why I’ve invited Number Two out tonight. I’m gonna see where this can go. Who’s knows? Maybe she’ll be the one to take over the top spot in my brain.

"Guys!" I put on my biggest smile. "She’s on her way!"

They all “ooo’ed” and “ahh’ed” like the little shits that they are. I laughed. This is why these people are my friends. They have no problem letting me know that I am still nothing special. Someone asked me about Number Two. “Yeah…she just seems really special…ya know…” I ducked my head down. I didn’t want to talk about her. I didn’t like to lie. She wasn’t that special. She was just a chance to forget. A chance to try and lose myself in someone else.

I caught Madelyn’s eye and tried to guess what she was thinking. Her face was almost unreadable. Only a slight uneasy look flitted across it. But then in a second it was gone and she smiled again. She smacked her hand to the table and called for the bartender to bring me an expensive shot of whiskey. That’s her. Always spoiling me. I laughed again when she ordered the cheap stuff for everyone else. We raised our glasses and everyone toasted cheers to me. My friends. Congratulating me.

But they all had no idea. No idea that the one I really want is already here.

The night went on fine. Number Two has gotten along well with everyone. I’m flirting with her and she is eating it up. But the whole time I can’t keep my mind off of Lucy. She is the one that I want to have sitting next to me. She is the person whose hand I want on my thigh. I look down at Number Two’s hand and it takes everything I have not to move it.

My brain is yelling at me. 'Dammit! Niall! Get your fucking act together. This was the choice you made. Now you have to deal with it.'

But my eyes keep catching her every movement. I watch her down shot after shot. I know that she is going to regret going this big tonight. I know that tomorrow she is going to need me. And I look back at Number Two and back down at her hand. Number Two is a sure thing tonight. But I know that I will take her home instead of to my bed.

I will sleep alone.

I will probably dream of Madelyn, like I always do.

And in the morning I will go to her.

Notes