Fitting Together Again

"What was that?"

I didn't answer.

"Thalia!"

Again, I ignored Marco. I was still fuming from my argument with Nicola earlier. Every glare, every snide comment she made rose to the surface of my memory and blinded me with rage. I needed to get away from the family, away from the boys, away from Marco before I exploded.

"Marco I just need a minute," I sputtered, desperate to keep him at bay. I had managed to get Tilly off to bed and away from the drama just before Marco caught me in the hallway. I pushed the door open to his room and hobbled inside, not wanting to make yet another scene in front of his family.

"Hey!" Marco's fingers wrapped around my forearm, digging painfully into my skin, has he forced me to face him.

"Ouch Marco!" I cried, struggling against his vice-like grip. He was pulling me up, forcing me to balance on tip-toe with my good foot.

"Look at me when I speak to you," he said, his voice low. "What has gotten into you huh?"

"Me?" I squeaked. I quickly took note of his disheveled appearance and realized he was still just upset about the confrontation as I was.

"That was my sister!" Marco cried out.

"Who was yelling at me!" I defended, managing to rip my arm from his grasp and nearly toppling over in the process. I caught the edge of the desk and used that to steady myself.

"Your sister who was calling me names and belittling me because for once in her life things didn't turn out the way she want-"

"Do not talk about my sister in that tone!" Marco hissed, pointing a threatening index finger in my direction. "She is my family."

"And I'm supposed to be your girlfriend."

"What? What does that mean?" He fell back before the shock gave way to more anger.

"Supposed to be, why did you say it like that?"

"Because I don't feel like you're really care about me at the moment! Nicola's been teasing me ever since I got here Marco! Leaving snide remarks about me and where I come from and you never said anything!"

"I don't care about you?" He hissed, having only heard the first sentence of my rant. "I'm not the one parading around for an ex in front of my fiancé!"

"What!" I screamed, my voice echoing loudly against the stucco walls. Every emotion Marco and I had kept bottled up for the past three weeks had reached boiling point. But I was much to angry to care. He was still threatened by Harry. Still convinced, even after all my reassurance and promises, that we were somehow cheating. I was tired of it. "I wasn't-"

"You were," he sneered. "and have been since the moment he arrived!"

"And I've told you repeatedly that there is nothing going on between Harry and I," I reminded him, attempting to level my shaking voice.

"He was watching you in your suit," Marco spat. "Do you even own respectable clothing?"

"You bought that for me!" I cried incredulously, running my hands through my hair in frustration. How on earth had this become my fault?

"I bought that so I could look at you not him!" He bellowed, stomping his foot down in a thunderous rage.

"Well I'm sorry that Harry has eyes!" I threw my hands up in the air in a dramatic defeat. He was being ridiculous. "I'm sorry that I'm a person who likes to actually step foot outside where, believe it or not, there are other people. And it's, you know, normal to look at another person and maybe even talk with them."

Marco let out a roar in frustration, grabbing fistfuls of his hair as he glared down at me. "You were flirting with him!"

"I was talking with him!"

"You were showing yourself off! Nicola and I both-"

"Both what? Both decide it's okay to pass judgement on my actions?" I snapped.

"Agree that you encouraged him by dressing like a whore!" He countered.

"In the outfit you fucking told me to wear!" I cried. "And that is a shit excuse on Nicola's part because we both know her outfit was much more revealing."

"So you were trying to flirt with him?"

"What? I never said-"

"You're saying she wasn't provocative enough to keep him."

"No-"

"And that it's her fault he was seduced by you instead of her."

"No!" I cried. "Im saying that she's trying to blame me for her failed relationship!"

"Maybe you are to blame," Marco muttered darkly.

"What? How could - you know what? Fuck you Marco."

"Yes, resort to bad language and be drama queen - just like always," Marco hissed.

"I'm not dramatic!" I retaliated, stomping my foot dramatically. "Your sister started it and I was just defend-"

"I will not allow my future wife to be seen like that in public! You may have gotten away with that shit when you were with Styles but I will not stand for it!" Marco screamed back, thumping his fist on the desk and cashing me to flinch. "You have a problem, then we'll discuss it when we are home."

"We never discuss anything!" I cried, running my hands through my hair once again in frustration. "I try to tell you how I feel and you just shut me down! For fucks sake you're even doing it right now!"

"Because you're going crazy!"

"I'm not crazy, I'm angry." I snapped. "I'm sorry I can't be the perfect little princess you want."

"You were perfect!" Marco yelled. "You were perfect until Harry showed up. He changed you!"

"Changed me?"

"Yes. Changed you." Marco took a breath and continued in a more civil tone, "You were quiet and reserved when I met you in Roma. Sure you were confident, but you held it with grace and poise. When you're with them you act like -damnit what was the saying? - like one of the boys. You're loud, stubborn and stupidly silly for all the world to see!"

"I didn't change!" I let out a laugh in exasperation despite myself. "This is who I've always been Marco. The girl you met last year was just the heartbroken and depressed version of myself!"

"Well I liked her better!"

I drew back, injured by his words. He couldn't actually mean that could he? I admit, when I met Marco I was willing to shove that part of me in a dark corner and let it be. But now I saw just how dangerous hiding a part of yourself could be. That loud, stubborn, and stupidly silly girl was me. And how could he ever really love me if he never saw my whole self?

Marco was watching me, a triumphant sneer crossing his features. I had grown so much these past few months with Marco and it enraged me to learn that he'd rather have that insecure, troubled girl back. I cleared my throat and replied icily, "Why because I was dependent on you?"

"You're too stubborn to be dependent on anyone," Marco snapped back, his dark eyes glinting in the low light of the room. "When I met you last year I knew there was more to you then the polite, reserved show you put on but I didn't expect to find a raging lunatic who acts out at my family and disgraces herself in public!"

"Oh God here we go again!" I cried out, raising my hands in resigned indignation. I felt hot, angry tears burn the back of my eyes but did nothing to stop them. "Why are you so obsessed with your public image?"

"Because I don't want to be connected to a self-blown, psychotic lunatic who-"

"We weren't even in public!" I was back to screaming now as my temper soared once more.

"We got into an argument in your garden for fucks sake!"

"Not when we were in the pub!" Marco roared, the desk chair flying from its spot and landing with a crack on the floor. "Or in Roma!"

"Oh, well my apologies for merely responding to the attacks laid down by your sister!" I cried, refusing to back down now no matter how much he frightened me. "Have you given her this lecture as well?"

"Yes I have," growled Marco, pausing in his attack to glare at me. "I will not have my women-"

"Your women?" I shrieked, tears of frustration now falling freely from my face. "Marco as crazy as this may sound - I don't actually belong to you."

"YOU'RE MY FIANCÉ!" He roared, taking my arm once more and pulling me towards him possessively. "You belong to me! You are mine and you will listen to what I say!"

"I will not." I replied stubbornly, attempting to appear braver than I felt. Marco flushed in anger as I pulled my arm from his grasp and continued, "I am my own person Marco. You didn't own me as a girlfriend and you're sure as hell not going to own me as a wife."

I left him frozen in the middle of the room, letting my words sink in. Limping over to the corner, I grabbed my bag, flung open the dresser, and began shoving as much as I could inside. I could hear Marco panting behind me and, though I was scared, I had made my decision.

"What the hell does that mean?" He commanded. I ignored him and continued to grab anything within reach and throw it into my luggage. "Thalia!"

I was hobbled over towards the closet when Marco's strong grip stopped me in my tracks once again.

"What are you doing?" He growled, catching my arm and pulling me to a halt.

After looking up into those dark angry eyes and bracing myself for the coming storm, I calmly replied, "Packing. I'm leaving in the morning."

A deafening silence followed my words in which time I managed to escape Marco's grasp and continue packing.

"What? What do you mean?" He stuttered.

I gulped. "I mean, I'm taking Tilly back to Rome with me."

"No," Marco replied stubbornly. "No I won't allow it. You're not in your right mind. Come to bed I don't want to hear any more of this."

I ignored him and proceeded to dump my make up into the side pocket of my bag. I could feel his eyes on me, burning holes in the back of my skull.

"Thalia-"

"Marco, I will come to bed as soon as I've finished packing," I cut in. Though we had stopped yelling, tension was still think in the air.

Marco made a noise. "You don't need to finish packing because you are not going. Now come to bed."

"I'm almost do-"

"THALIA!"

I flinched and a moment later the bag was ripped from my hands, my belongings spilling to the floor as Marco tossed it aside. I spun around in a flash of anger.

"What the fuck Marco!" I cried, glaring up at his towering figure once more. "Now I have to redo it! I would have been done in a minute if you just-"

"You don't need to go!" He roared.

"Yes. I do."

"Why?"

"Look I just need a break is all-"

"A break? A break from what?"

"I don't..." I let out a sigh and ran my hand through my now snarled hair. Tears pricked my eyes once more as I said shakily, "From everything, from this house. From the drama-"

"From me?"

I gulped. "Yes from you too."

"Why?"

"Marco-"

"WHY?"

"Because I don't think I can marry you!" I finally yelled.

The silence that followed was deafening. Marco stood there, his brow ruffled in a frown and those dark eyes scanning me in confusion. Eventually he came to a conclusion and shook his head in disregard. "What are you talking about? Of course you can."

"No, Marco I really can't," I replied, shaking my head adamantly. "I've been thinking about it a lot and I think it would be best for everyone if we just-"

"You're running away?" Marco asked. "You're giving up...just like that? After one fight?"
Turning around, I found that all of Marco's hate and anger had suddenly been replaced with confusion and hurt. He watched me, shaking his head slightly as if trying to rid himself of the image before him.

"Marco I..." But words failed me as I looked up into those dulled brown eyes. I felt horrible. I really did. But this wasn't working and it was time to take a step back. With a deep breath I continued, "This fight just made it clear. We've been having this conversation for the past month and nothing is getting better. In fact, it's just getting worse! You said it yourself, I'm not the girl you thought I was. I'm not right for you. And I'm realizing that you might not be right for me either."

"Thalia I love you," he whispered adamantly. All anger had evaporated from his voice. He broke into a small, pitying smile as he pushed a fallen strands of hair behind my ear. The Marco I had fallen for all those months ago was back, pulling out all his old tricks in a desperate attempt to convince me to stay.

"You do now but I don't think you'll love me for much longer," I replied, my voice just as small.

"You say I've changed. Only maybe I haven't really changed Marco, maybe you just never really knew who I was...who I am."

"I wanted to get to know you!" Marco cried, his tone growing in an attempt to defend himself.

"I know, I know you did Marco!" I took his hand hastily, hoping to keep him from slipping into another rampage. "I shut you out. I kept my distance and I know that was wrong. But Marco...if we want this to work we have to work as a team. Right now all we're doing is pointing our fingers at the other. There's a reason we fought tonight Marco and there's a reason we're both still upset about it. We have too many unspoken words - too many walls."

"Then just talk!" Marco sighed. "Because running away won't fix up anything."

I opened my mouth to argue, to point out that we were both still much to angry for any rational conversation to take place. Besides he knew why I was upset. I had just laid it out in the open for him during our screaming match. And if he couldn't see it then, what made him think he would be able to now? I was tired of pretending, tired of arguing, so tired that I wasn't sure there was anything I wanted to fix. But Marco cut me off before I even started.

"You said you didn't think you could marry me Thalia. I deserve to know why you think that."

I refrained at rolling my eyes at his obvious attempt to guilt trip me into staying. After anther breath I answered, "you do deserve to know. But I don't know if I have the answers you're looking for. Marco, we didn’t know much about each other when we started dating...and that was fine then. But the more time we spend together, the more we learn about one another, has me realizing that we might not mesh as well as we originally thought. We just want different things in life and what you want in a partner...I don't think I have. And all I can say is that I'm sorry."

"I don't want to hear your apologies," Marco growled, pulling his hand away and sitting on the bed. He ran his hands through his hair and down his face before looking up at me almost cautiously. "Did you ever love me Thalia? At all?"

Time seemed to freeze as I stared at Marco, taking him in full for the first time in weeks. His deep brown eyes which had once been full of such mischievous intentions seemed to have dulled. The perfectly groomed thick black hair, ironed to a crisp shirt, and normally muted expression was now all ruffled in anxiety and indignation. He had changed in recent weeks. We both had.

As I stared at him, I came to the conclusion that I never really did love Marco, well at least not in the deepest sense of the word. I loved his presence. I loved to laugh, and tease, and explore with him. I loved the way he pushed me, the way he challenged me. And had things continued on like they did in Rome, I believe I would have truly fallen for him eventually.

I gave Marco a small smile and sat down next to him on the bed. "Of course I loved you. And I still do...just in a different way."

"Then why?" Marco shook head head before looking at me with devastating puppy dog eyes. "Why choose him?"

I closed my eyes and prayed for patience. "Marco, it's not a choice between you and Harry. I'm not ending things between us just to go and run off into the sunset with him."

"But you didn't feel this way until he came along!"

I hesitated before taking his hand in mine. "No, these feelings have been creeping up on me slowly. I just didn't know what to make of it before."

Marco shook his head. "Then why come huh? Why continue this charade if you knew?"

“But I didn't know!" I insisted. "I wanted us to work so badly that I pushed all those other feelings aside. Please believe me Marco. I was and am in no way intentionally trying hurt you."

“If you wanted us to work so bad then you wouldn’t be running away!” He retaliated, flaring his nostrils and turning to look at me with a mixture of sadness and contempt. “I knew I should have waited to ask you.”

“Marco-“

“Go then,” he sighed. “Run. Run away to Rome! Run away from me just like you ran away from Harry! But this time he’ll follow you. And when he breaks your heart again…I’m not going to be waiting around to pick up the pieces like last time. I’m done.”

“Marco,” I whispered, tears blurring my vision once again. I flinched as Marco slammed the desk chair against the wall before walking into the bathroom. I stared at the door in shock, coming out of my trance only when I heard the shower start.

I had barely noticed the rising sun creeping through the windows and bathing the floor with light. We spent the whole night arguing. And though I knew I should be packing, I couldn't bring myself to move. The whole fight replayed in my head like an annoying infomercial jingle. The words Marco left hanging in the air seemed to seep onto my skin and into my soul.

He was right. I was running away. But I was running away from what would now surly develop into a loveless marriage and a rich, but lonely life. So that made it okay right?

I bit my lip and tried to swallow the rising lump in my throat. But the past twenty-four hours - no the past month - had finally caught up with me. All the confusing feelings for Marco, meeting his family, seeing Harry, the near death experience…all the emotions came crashing down on me in waves. I wanted to scream from the feeling. But instead I held my breath and wrapped my arms around my stomach to keep quite. The promises, the anxiety, the anger, the love, the fear. I was drowning in my emotions and I just when I thought I’d ever be able to come up for air-

“Thalia?”

Notes

Ahhh I'm SO sorry it's taken me 80 million years to update. Please forgive me. Remember when I said I would have more time? Yeah, that was a lie. What with school ending, moving, and starting a new job...time is not something I haven't had a whole lot of. BUT I know that you all have been dying. So I made time to (finally) sit down and write for you!

So here we are! The highly anticipated Marco and Thalia break up/showdown. Pretty please let me know your thoughts! I juggled around a few ideas of how to write this and am very interested in your feedback.


PS The reminder comments really do work. They fill me with extreme guilt and encourage me to write for you all!