Thalia

With a heavy sigh I dropped my pencil on the blanket, having finally finished a sketch I thought decent. I leant back and stretched my muscles, stiff from having sat hunched over in one position for so many minutes. From my little perch on the edge of the green space I was able to overlook my siblings playing with One Direction. I had been trying to capture human life in this next painting, and as I looked down at my sketches I bitterly wished I had stuck with technical drawings. Maybe I'll do a few more sketches today, I wouldn't mind developing these further once I returned to London.

London. The longing for it hit me like a steamroller. As much as I loved Rome, I missed my family, my friends, and the life I had left behind. I had told myself moving to Rome was completely unrelated to my then recent break up with Harry but let's be honest, I had all but run away. Run away from him and everything we had there. But what was the point of running away if I feel just as suffocated there as I do here?
I looked out onto the lawn to see my mother sitting on the grass with Millie perched on her lap. She had gained more wrinkles since the last time I had seen her and the bags under her eyes seemed to have deepened. Yet even with the signs of age she was just as beautiful as ever as she smiled down at the little six year old handing her a flower. I knew that smile, the warm, loving kind that made you feel at home. But behind that smile, behind those eyes was a dullness that had been put there by the trials of life. The little twinkle that I had remembered as a young girl had been wiped from her gaze the moment we left my father, and it has yet to return. This amazing, strong woman had run away just as I had. And as I watched her I couldn’t help but wonder if I too would end up with that dullness in my eye.
"BOO!"
I let out a scream as Louis grabbed my shoulders and shook me.
"LOU!" I cried, whacking his arms until he let go of me, laughing hysterically. "That's not funny you ass!"
"I thought it was pretty funny," chuckled Harry. The two dropped down onto the grass beside me, letting out tired sighs at having to keep up with my crazy siblings.
"Don't be rude," I scolded. Harry broke into a smile, wrinkling his nose and showing off his dimples.
"What are you doing over here all by your lonesome self Thal?" Louis asked, distracting me from distracting me from getting lost in Harry's features.
"Drawin," I replied with a shrug.
"Hey, this is a new sketchbook," harry noted. He picked up my sketchbook and ran his hand across the penciled figures as if it was some sort of thousand year old artifact.
"Yeah?"
"Why'd you get a new one?"
I blinked. "Well Harry, you see there's a page limit..."
"So why not add more pages? There may be a page limit Thal, but no limit to your creativity." He replied with a smirk.
I rolled my eyes at his attempt at a joke. "You are by far the cheesiest person I have ever met."
"What! That's gold!" He cried out in disbelief. "You should make a motivational poster of that and frame it. Actually, no. That's what I'm getting you for your birthday."
"Nope. No way." I failed at holding back my smile as I shook my head.
"Yeah. It's going to happen."
"You should just accept it now Thal," chuckled Louis as Harry shot me a devilish smirk.
"You're the worst," I replied.
"Don't be rude," he mocked playfully, picking up one of the mugs from my tray of supplies. "You know you love it."
"Harry no!" I cried, snatching the mug from his hand as he raised it to his lips
"What?" His brow furrowed into a deep frown as he stared at me in confusion.
"That's my paint cup!" I laughed, clutching my side as I handed him the cup that sat next to the one he had picked up. "Here."
He dropped his mouth in shock, those green eyes widening in horror.
"Why do you have paint in an ordinary looking cup!" He cried, failing at keeping his face straight as the sides of his mouth twitched up to form a smirk. "You could have killed me woman!"
"You would have been fine," I laughed, waving him off.
"Do you see this blaspheme?" Harry asked Louis, pointing to the cups.
"Maybe she is trying to kill you mate," he chuckled.
"Hush up Lou, you're ruining my plan." I shot them both a wink before turning back to my painting.
"You're lucky we don't tell Paul on you!" I felt my blood run cold at Louis' words and I willed myself not to look at Harry. "How would our ex head of security react knowing it's his own daughter who's been trying to do us in all along!"
I gave Louis a small smile before quickly returning my work of setting up my canvas. Thankfully, Liam called him away before he could say anything else about the dreaded subject. However the same couldn't be said for Harry, who remained at my side.
"Uh...hey Thal-"
"I don't want to talk about my father Harry." I quickly cut him off. I don’t think I could handle it. Not with everything that’s already going on.
"What?" He frowned, before a look of comprehension dawned his face. "Oh! No, that's not what I was going to say."
"Oh." Now it was my turn to frown. He ran a hand through his hair and shifted his weight, obviously uncomfortable with whatever it was we were going to be talking about.
“Do you...what do you remember from the other night?" He asked hesitantly.
"The other night in Rome?"
He nodded slowly. Curiosity got the best of my and I quickly put my brush down and turned to face him.
“Lets see...I remember Marco storming from the pub, me going after him...I remember us singing," I let out a laugh thinking of the memory and a dimpled smile broke across Harry's face as well. "Um, I remember the club and dancing? I don’t know...Why are you asking me this Harry?"
"Do you remember anything after dancing?" He asked as he leant forward.
I frowned, searching those bright green eyes for some clue as to what I was missing.
I had known something upsetting had happened for when I saw myself in he mirror the next morning. Remember Taylor Swift’s music video Blank Space where she's crying like a maniac? Well that was my face. When I asked Maeve about it she had mumbled something about Marco and Harry before we were interrupted.
"Will you just tell me?" I asked, growing frustrated at everyone's vagueness on the subject. "I'm not going to remember on my own."
"I...What did Marco tell you?" Harry asked.
I frowned again. Marco had been even less helpful than Maeve, going on about how Harry had filled my head with a jealous rage. Whatever that meant.
"He said you…” I trailed off, thinking back on the odd interaction. Marco had been so insistent, pleading with me to believe him.
"What?"
“He said that you turned me against him?" The words sounded wrong coming from my mouth and I instantly knew they were a lie.
Harry's jaw clenched as he struggled to refrain from exploding. After a deep sigh to calm himself he leaned even closer to me, "He's lying to you Thal. You can't trust him."
"What?" Harry wasn't make any sense. What did he mean I couldn't trust Marco? He was my boyfriend! What the fuck happened and why won’t anyone tell me?
"Look, in the club, you and I were walking back to find Marco when we saw him-"
"There you are!" Cried the man himself. Marco had appeared out of nowhere and clapped Harry a little too roughly on the back. "We're about to play football! What are you doing up here?"
As I stared between them, Marco's grip on Harry's shoulder tightened and Harry shifted uncomfortably in response. I frowned at this strange interaction and in a ballsy move decided to find out what the hell was going on here.
"Harry was just telling me what happened in the club the other night,” I smiled cheerfully.
Both men froze, each of their eyes widening in fear. Marco managed to recover first and after clearing his throat he asked, "he was? And what lie has he told you this time?"
"I'm not the one who's been telling her lies," growled Harry. "Why don't you tell her what you did?"
"Only if you've told her what you've done," Marco snapped before looking at me. "Did you know I found him kissing you in the back corridor?"
“You-what?" I stuttered, turning to Harry to see if this was true. Color rose in his face as he watched me for a reaction. “Harry is that true?"
"It wasn't like you think-"
"Oh my god," I breathed. No wonder everyone has been walking on eggshells around me for the past two days. Harry had fucking taken advantage of me while I was drunk?
"I was trying to comfort you!" Harry said, he reached for my hand but I quickly leapt from his grasp. "I got a bit carried away-"
"Yeah a bit!" I snapped.
"Thal wait," Harry cried desperately, reaching for me once more as I stood up. "Don't you want to know why you were upset?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes!"
"Listen to him! He's trying to justify assaulting you," Marco spat.
"Enough!" I cried, running my hands through my hair as I felt a stinging behind my eyes. I couldn't listen to either of them for a second longer. I started backing away as both boys reached out. "Just stay away from me...both of you just stay away!"
"Thal," Harry whispered weakly.
But I shook my head and turned away from the pair, ignoring the yells that followed. How could I trust either of them? Harry had kissed me! When I was drunk and obviously still dating Marco. And then, to find him and Nicola all but fucking the next morning? If he kissed me and really did have feelings for me then why the hell would he go behind my back and hook up with her again? No. He had crossed the line one too many times so how in the world was I to believe him when he told me not to trust Marco?
Marco. Now that I thought about it, he had been acting differently ever since that night in Rome. And Harry had wanted him to confess to something, something that I must have seen but forgotten because I was an idiot who couldn't hold her liquor. So what the hell was it and why couldn't Harry have just come out and told me?
But would you have believed him? A nagging voice at the back of my mind questioned. No, I answered it stubbornly. I may have believed whatever it was before I found out he kissed me...but now?
I let out a groan and ran my hands trough my disheveled hair. I was so confused. Finding myself at the garden path, I headed in, hoping the tall hedges could block out my thoughts.
"Thal!"
"Can everyone please just leave me the fuck alo-oh!" I froze on the spot, having finally opened my eyes to find, "Tilly?"
"Did I catch you at a bad time?" She asked, cocking her eyebrow curiously.
"I-no. No, I’m sorry I’m just a little stressed," I replied, forcing a smile. "What's up?"
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay?"
Letting out a weak laugh, I collapsed onto the nearest stone bench. I let out a sigh and felt Tilly take a seat next to me.
"I'm going to take that as a no. Care to share?"
"Not really Tills."
"Okay."
Silence followed as I sat with my head between my hands, trying to clear my brain of all thoughts regarding the two idiot boys who were hell bent on driving me to insanity. The only problem was the more I tried to rid them from my mind, the louder my thoughts of them seemed to grow.
"It's about your love triangle isn't?" Tilly asked and I jumped, having forgotten she was there.
"What love triangle?" I asked, playing dumb.
"The one between you, Harry, and Marco," she replied, picking a flower from a nearby bush and twirling in in her fingers. "Come on Thal even Hugh sees it. And Hugh never notices anything."
I let out a laugh and shook my head. "It's not a love triangle."
"Sure it is," she shrugged. "Marco loves you. And so does Harry. The question is...who do you love?"
I stared back at the little twelve year old in shock. Her bluntness on such a subject left me speechless. Tilly looked up at me curiously, tilting her head to the side as I battled my emotions. I was supposed to love Marco right? I was in a committed relationship. I had said the words so many times already. So then why was it so hard to say his name now?
"Ha! Therein lies the problem,” Tilly cried matter of factly. "You don't know which one you love!"
Tilly picked up her flower and began twirling it once more, a proud smile spread across her face now that she was convinced she had solved the problem.
"What if I don't love either of them?" I challenged.
She narrowed her little blue eyes at me in suspicion. "Do you have a reason not to love them?"
"At the moment yes."
"Do I get to find out why?" She asked, smiling up at me innocently.
I let out a sigh before breaking down and confessing everything that had happened over the past two weeks at this godforsaken villa. Tilly sat and listed carefully her smile broadening when I told her of seeing Harry for the first time, a smirk when she heard how we were locked in the cellar, and finally a look of horror when I told her today's events.
Once I had finished she sat in silence, her little brain working overtime to spit out some impossibly well thought out answer that only Tilly could come up with.
"And you don't know what Harry's accusing Marco of?" Tilly quizzed?
I shook my head, now bitterly wishing I would have stayed to hear. "It was apparently something something bad enough that Harry felt the need to comfort me with kisses."
"Huh." She frowned and placed her head in her hand, thinking hard. "I don't think you're going to like what I have to say."
"Well tell me anyway."
"I would hear Harry out," she replied quickly, as if saying it faster would make my reaction better.
"What?" I frowned. I was looking for confirmation that I shouldn't trust Harry, not the other way around.
"I mean think about it Thal, it's not in his character to lie like that. I mean sure he can be a bit overdramatic, but he literally can't lie."
"I just don't know if I can trust him after everything he's done," I replied, rubbing my temples.
"Can I ask you something?" Tilly said hesitantly. I nodded and she nearly whispered her next words. "Why did you and Harry break up? I thought you were in love?"
That had been the last thing I expected her to ask and I was silent for a moment, attempting to gather my thoughts as Tilly's large innocent eyes stared up at me. With a deep breath I finally said, "We were in love. We just..."
"Just what?"
"We grew apart," I shrugged. "Too many unsaid things got in the way of our relationship and suddenly I felt as if we were strangers to each other. There were so many secrets and white lies and it just grew bigger and bigger..."
"But why didn't you talk?"
"By the time we did it was already too late. I was dealing with everything that happened to Maeve and Harry wanted more than I could give him. I didn't know it, but he felt very alone and he...he-"
"He cheated?" She cried incredulously. Her eyes had grown wide in horror for the second time today.
“No. I don't think so? He told me he didn't," I replied, frustrated that I didn't know the real answer for myself. "But he turned to another woman for comfort since he felt like could no longer talk to me. So I...I just let go."
I looked up to see Tilly frowning at me in confusion and I quickly took her hands in mine. "Remember those stories about the princes and princesses?"
Tilly nodded, a small smile breaking through her features.
"And it was always easy to tell the difference between the villain and hero right?"
Again Tilly nodded.
"Well, as you grow up it becomes a lot harder to tell who the bad guy is. People who are hurting, hurt others."
"Like my mum? She was sad, so she drank to make herself feel better. But in the end that just made everything worse for all of us."
"That's exactly right," I whispered, fighting the sting behind my eyes. Who knew a twelve year old could know more about the world then I could?
"But I've never stopped loving my mum. Even after everything she's done...does that mean you still love Harry?"
"A part of me will always love Harry. You can miss someone you love and still love your life without them in it. It's just important to remember the good times in the relationship.”
She contemplated this for a moment before a small frown appeared. "You know Thal, you might think feel that way...but I think you and Harry both have more feelings then you want to admit."
"Oh really?" I asked suspiciously. "How do you figure that?"
"Easy. Harry's always staring at you...like ALWAYS staring. The same stare he used to give you. And him kissing you the the other night just proves it," she replied, sitting up straight as if to lecture me. "And you agreed to be friends with him when you were stuck in that cellar, which means that you wanted him back in your life. You also have a little habit of wrinkling your nose every time Nicola and Harry show any signs of PDA. It’s actually quite entertaining."
I shook my head. "You're insane Tills."
"Marco doesn't think so..."
"What? What do you mean?" I frowned, completely caught off guard by her remark.
"Marco asked me if you and Harry talked anymore and if you still like-liked him."
“He did? Well what did you tell him?" I asked apprehensively.
"What he wanted to hear," she struggled nonchalantly. "I told him you and Harry haven't talked in months and you hated his guts. He gave me €50."
"You little sneak!" I cried, breaking into a laugh.
"What?" Tilly asked innocently, her eyes growing wide as a little pout formed on her lips. "I didn't know I was lying to him..."
I stared at Tilly as she then broke into a smirk. Note to self: my siblings are manipulative as hell.
"Look Tills, I hate what Harry and I turned into and I hate the decisions we both made. I said I love my memory of him."
"I know that's what you said," Tilly replied. "But it's not what you meant."

And with that she hopped up from the bench, shot me a devilish little smirk and skipped off. I watch her go letting her last comment sink in.

Notes

Hello lovelies! Sorry for all that confusion the past two chapters, everyone got it though, right? Harry had kissed Thal after they found Marco cheating. When Marco came to break it up, Harry went back to his room with Nicola (though in his drunken state he imagined it was Thalia) and when he woke he realized what he had done? Hope this clears things up!!

Do you think Thal will take Tilly's advice and hear Harry out? How do you think Harry liked being exposed and labeled as the bad guy by Marco? And what do you think Marco will do now that he knows Harry has feelings for Thalia?

Also, I've noticed a big difference in the number of subscribers and the number of votes...what's up with that guys?