My eyes were closed, but I could see the insides of my eyelids turning bright red. Even with my eyes closed, I could still feel the effects of the sun coming through the window. The birds outside the window were chirping as they sang a cheery tune. It seemed like the world was out to get her because everything was amplified this morning – the light of the sun was too bright, the song of the birds was too loud, and this headache was the worst! It felt like someone was constantly smashing a frying pan against my head. I definitely didn’t want to get up now; this bed was too comfortable and I couldn’t bear the thought of spending the day with a massive hangover.

I took the pillow that was resting beside me and tried to place it over my head to block the sun and the noise out. It didn’t seem to work at all so I just gave up, throwing the pillow across the room and smashing a lamp in the process. I’d never gotten that drunk before – yeah, I drank a few times and I got buzzed, but I never got piss drunk. I was disappointed in myself and I knew my mum would be too; I just didn’t know what had come over me last night. All I could think about were the events that led me to this moment. I tried to rack my brain with any recollection of the evening, but nothing seemed to be coming to me – except that handsome bloke.

My eyes quickly fluttered open and my body shot up from the bed as I searched the room I was in. I didn’t recognize it at all. My clothes were resting on a chair in the corner of the room while I had on just a t-shirt and my knickers.

God what have I done!?

My hands quickly covered my face as I felt it go red from embarrassment and shame. I couldn’t believe I had been so stupid as to go out last night, get pissed, and have sex with some guy I barely even knew. It was hard to process everything and think of a way to sneak out of the house without any confrontation with the massive headache I had. I searched the room some more before my eyes fell to the nightstand beside the bed. There was a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water on the bedside table which I was thankful for – I just wanted my head to stop throbbing.

I quickly popped the pills into my mouth before washing them down with some water. Being the coward I was, I grabbed my clothes that were on the chair and slowly tip-toed out of the room, trying to be as inconspicuous and quiet as possible. My nose picked up the smell of bacon and I was following it – despite the events that occurred last night, I could never turn down bacon. Clearly someone was up and I was hoping with everything inside of me that it wasn’t Simon. I peered my head around the corner as the hallway came to an end. His backed was turned to me as he was helping himself to the food that was waiting to be eaten. I tried to be as quiet as possible as I began to walk into the kitchen, but I stepped on a squeaky floorboard. The man jumped back a bit, dropping a spoon on the floor before turning towards me.

“Bullocks, you scared the shit out of me!” he exclaimed, in a cheerful voice as he placed his hand over his chest.

My chest quickly fell as I released a breath that I didn’t realize I was holding in. Never in my life had I been happier to see the boy that was staring at me in my knickers than I was right now. Coming to the realization that I hadn’t shagged the bloke from the bar, a relieved smile formed on my lips as I mouthed a ‘thank God’ to myself.

“And where do you think you’re sneaking off to missy” Louis asked, waving a spatula at me. I looked down, taking in the fact that I had my clothes in my hand and I was ready to sneak out of the place. My cheeks turned a bright pink before my eyes locked on Louis’ once more.

Louis couldn’t help but laugh at the embarrassed expression I had on my face. I couldn’t blame him – I’d probably laugh as well if I had caught one of the boys doing the same. “Fancy some breakfast” he asked, breaking me from my thoughts. He was pointing his fork over to the counter that had a plate already made for me.

I quickly walked to the breakfast bar where the plate rested before sitting down. “Thank you so much Lou. You wouldn’t believe how embarrassed I had been this morning thinking that I went home with that man I was dancing with last night” I explained, forcing a forkful of eggs into my mouth. What time is it anyways?” Bits of eggs flew out of my mouth as I attempted to talk with my mouth full.

“Erm, about half 10” he replied, turning around to face me with a cup of tea in his hands as a small smile formed on his face. Louis handed the cup of tea to me, which I eagerly accepted as I continued to stuff my mouth with food. I had to admit, I didn’t think that Louis was much of a cook, but this breakfast told me that I was clearly wrong.

“Lou, this is absolutely amazing” I raved, pointing my fork at the food that was settled on the plate in front of me. “Who knew you could make a cup of proper tea let alone cook a breakfast that good?” I continued on.

He let out a soft chuckle as he shook his head. “Well thanks love, but I didn’t make it actually”. My face twisted into one of confusion. If he didn’t make it then who did? Louis simply nodded his head behind me, obviously pointing out who the amazing chef was. I turned around to see Harry awkwardly staring at me with his hair covering the left side of his face. A bittersweet feeling came over me as I saw reruns of ‘The Inbetweeners’ playing on the television screen behind him – that was something that we were supposed to do together.

Harry got up from the couch and walked towards the kitchen to place his plate in the sink. “You look better now that you’ve got a bit of sleep” he joked halfheartedly before his mouth turned down into a frown as he avoided eye contact with me. I admit, it had been weird since the whole blowup I had a few nights ago and it was completely my fault – I didn’t have to scream at him when all he was doing was trying to be nice. I could’ve easily just talked to him and let him know that I was angry with him, but his nonchalance just got to me and made me furious.

“I think you mean now that she’s not down on her knees Harry” Louis quipped, popping a grape into his mouth. “It does get pretty tiring down there, yeah love?” he continued as he walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch, clearly pleased with his attempts to make things more awkward between us. I quickly darted my eyes to Harry who was trying to cover his beet red face with his hair. His attempts at concealing his embarrassment were poor, but I didn’t let on to it because this was just as awkward for me and there was no use trying to hide it.

“Oh don’t worry love, I’m sure those knees of yours won’t be bruised after a few days. Just make sure to stay off them in the meantime” Louis continued with a wink, clearly getting a kick out of this.

Harry ran a hand through his disheveled hair before clearing his throat. “Well, I’m going to shower before we have to go to the studio” he awkwardly let out before walking down the hallway to the bathroom.

As soon as Louis heard the door to the bathroom close, he walked over to the counter, standing in the spot right in front of me. I tried to avert my eyes and look at anything, but him. He made that somewhat difficult, however, as he waved his arms back and forth in front of my face to get my attention. I couldn’t help but to laugh at his outrageous attempts to get my attention, but he got it nonetheless.

“You do know I was joking right?” he questioned, looking serious for once in his life. I simply nodded my head, just wanting to drop the subject all together. I didn’t want to know what happened at all – not after Louis was being a complete wanker this morning. “Good,” he continued “because you were on your back most of the night anyway.”

I wanted to launch myself over the counter that was separating our two bodies. This was why I didn’t take to Louis much – he could be a complete and utter twat most of the time.

“Kidding, I’m kidding. If you really want to know, Harry brought you home last night. The vibe he was getting from that guy wasn’t any good so he wanted to make sure you were alright. He knows you don’t get drunk often or snog strangers, so he followed you out of the club because he wanted you to be taken care of. He stayed up with you in the bathroom until 6 in the morning; he even held your hair back as you blew chunks into the loo … You might’ve got a bit on his favorite shoes as well, but he didn’t mind as long as you were better” he explained with a look that told me this was one of those rare moments that Louis was being warm hearted.

“Did he really” I asked, not believing he would even want to be around me after the way I treated him.
Louis popped some more grapes into his mouth as he nodded his head. He placed his elbows on the counter, leaning closer to me as if this was top secret information or something. “Yeah. Said he didn’t want to leave you alone – wanted to make sure you were taken care of before he got some sleep. Don’t tell him I said that though.”

I felt like such a tosser when the words escaped Louis’ lips. I didn’t understand how Harry could be so nice after I’d treated him like scum. He didn’t have to leave the club to make sure I wasn’t going to make a mistake, he didn’t have to take me back to his place to make sure I was safe, and he didn’t have to stay up all night with me to make sure that I was feeling better. Harry didn’t have to do any of it after I bashed him, but despite what happened, he did anyways.

“Look, I’m sorry if I made things awkward early with you and Harry. I don’t know what’s going on with the two of you, but it really makes me sad to see you both like this. I mean Harry’s been a mess and you haven’t been any better, especially after what happened last night. What’s going on Abby?” he questioned with a concerned look on his face, breaking me from my thought.

“Nothing, I’m just being really stupid. Things just haven’t been the same since -” I started, seeing Louis give me an understanding head nod. He knew about my mum – he’d met her a few times when we had family gatherings and she had really taken to him. He didn’t have the relationship that Harry had with my mum, but it was pretty close.

“Well I’m probably one of the last people you want to talk to about this – hell, I’, probably the last person you want to talk to period,” he let out with a little chuckle “but you know if you need anything, I’m here for you” he finished, placing a soft hand on mine. I looked at it, fighting the tears that were forming in my eyes while I nodded in response.

I excused myself before I walked back to the room I found myself in earlier that morning so I could put my kit on and pull myself together. Whoever’s shirt I had on, I was just going to leave it on the bed. As I threw the shirt onto the side on the bed, I heard someone walk in. I quickly turned around to see Harry running a towel over his head to dry off his locks before he did that famous hair ruffle of his. He flipped his wet curls out of his eyes before they met mine. I didn’t know what to do – Harry had walked in on me in my under garments and all I could do was stand there looking like a deer in headlights. He was no better either. He stopped right in his tracks, towel hanging low on his torso.

Oh bugger.

“Erm, sorry. I didn’t know you were in here” he said in a low voice. “I’m uh – I’m just gonna grab some clothes” he mumbled, slowly inching past me to the dresser that I was blocking. He quickly gathered some things to throw on before scurrying out of the bedroom. I didn’t want any more incidents like this happening so I hurried to put on my clothes from last night and go back into the kitchen.

A few moments after I sat down at the counter, Louis and Harry walked in. Harry immediately headed straight for the door as he grabbed his keys that hung on the wall. He was about to walk through the door when Louis stopped him.

“D’ya mind giving Abby a lift home? I have to pick up Eleanor from uni before we hit the studio – I promised her I’d see her before she heads off to see some family in Wales” he practically begged. Harry just lowered his head to the floor and motioned for me to get a move on.

“Sorry about the clothes … I didn’t have any clean trousers for you to put on” he explained as we reached his black Range Rover, his cheeks turning a rosy shade of pink, clearly embarrassed that he hadn’t done laundry since he’d been home.

I shook my head, dismissing his apology. There was really no need to apologize after everything. He’d done enough for me already and he didn’t have to take care of me or drive me home even. “Don’t be sorry, I appreciate everything that you did for me already” I added, not making eye contact as I climbed into the passenger seat.

He started the car, placing his hand behind my head rest in order to look behind him. Harry pulled out of the garage swiftly before continuing with the small talk.

“So Louis told you eh?”

I didn’t know what to say, but I figured he knew anyways so I told him the truth. “Yeah”

“The wanker, I’m going to kill him” he muttered quietly to himself as his eyes focused onto the road in front of him.

Besides the sentences that were uttered when Harry started driving, the car ride was silent and it by all means was not a comfortable one. It was pretty awkward as silence blanketed over us the entire ride. I shifted in the passenger seat God knows how many times as Harry drove down the all too familiar streets of Cheshire. It was already bad enough that we had unresolved issues – mostly on my part – but Louis’ actions this morning and our nearly naked run-in with each other didn’t help much either.

We were just around the corner from my home when I finally looked up at Harry. His eyes were focused on the road and his grip on the steering wheel was fairly tight – his knuckles had gone considerably whiter than they normally were. I knew that he felt the elephant in the car, it was hard not to, but thankfully neither of us would have to deal with it much longer as he pulled up in front of my home. I didn’t reach for the door when he put the car in park; I just sat there for a bit more, staring at Harry from the passenger side.

“Harry” I called as I placed my hand on the door handle. He was reluctant to turn around and look at me, but when he did I could see the dark bags under his eyes, his pale skin from the lack of sleep he got, and a bruise on his left cheek. He didn’t look much like the Harry I saw a few days ago or the Harry I had known for so many years – this Harry looked sad and worn out and beaten down. “I just wanted to say thank you, you know, for last night. You didn’t have to do that – any of it, but thank you” I said, a sincere smile playing at my lips.

His eyes quickly met the floor as he sat there in silence for half a minute. He looked back up, tears seeming to brim his eyes, “I know I didn’t have to … I wan – I needed to” he responded before dropping his eyes to the middle console. Before I knew it, my hand shot up to his face, lightly running over the bruise that now marked his left cheek and wiped at the tears that were threatening to fall. It hurt me to see him like this. He always tried to hide his emotions – albeit he did it well – but this time, he was fragile. I placed my lips to his right cheek for a soft kiss before getting out of the car and walking to my door.

I walked into my house, kicking off my shoes at the door and throwing my keys in the basket that sat on the table near the entrance. Although I had eaten breakfast at Harry and Louis’ place, I was hungry again. I was under a lot of stress and when I was under stress, I ate – a lot! As I walked into the kitchen, I nearly jumped out of my skin as I noticed a figure sitting at the breakfast nook reading the paper. It was a bit ironic that I was the one on the receiving end of getting startled after I had scared Louis earlier this morning in his own kitchen.

“Oh, hey dad” I squealed, a bit surprised to find my dad home. Usually he was at the hospital tending to a few patients who needed surgery.

He placed his newspaper down on the counter as he peered at me over the rim of his coffee mug. My dad was never really a tea drinker – I definitely got that from my mum. “Good morning Petal. I’m glad to see you finally got home” he replied in a soft voice.

“Yeah, I uh – I erm went out with th-” I began to stutter out before he interrupted me.

“No need honey. Harry called last night and told me you lot were hanging out. He let me know you weren’t feeling well so he took you back to his place and tended to you” he informed me with a smile. “What’s going on with the two of you anyways? I know you quite fancy him and from what I’ve seen over the years, I’d say he did too” he asked with a knowing look in his eyes.

My dad always knew that Harry and I just got on well and that we were good friends. It annoyed me most of the time that he would bring it up, saying “we’re too close for us not to date or have feelings” or that “we were bound to marry one day”. He knew that I had a crush on Harry – at least that’s what he let on, but I always denied it and this time was no different. I rolled my eyes at him and his prying before answering.

“Nothing dad. We’re just friends – we always have been and we always will be. Well, I guess not always” I said somberly as I lowered my head to look at my fingers tapping along the counter.

“What do you mean Petal? You were with him last night, right?” Obviously my dad didn’t know what was going on between us. He saw that I had changed once my mum died, but he simply thought that was it – that I wasn’t the same girl I was because my mum was gone.

“It’s complicated daddy” was all I said before grabbing an apple from the bowl on the counter.

“You know I’m here for you sweetheart. I know mum was better with things like this, but I’m trying honey … I’m really trying, but I can’t help you if you won’t let me in” he pleaded as a sad look formed on his face. I really hated to see my dad like this. He was doing a great job with me given the circumstances and I applauded him for it – even if I didn’t often show it. My dad was my saving grace through everything and I owed it to him to open up about everything that I’ve been feeling lately.

“D’you remember once mum died I got into these weird moods and I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I’d just stay in my room all day crying my eyes out?” I questioned, not really wanting a response, but getting one anyways. My dad nodded his head, clearly unsure where I was going with this.

“Well, I wasn’t distraught that mum was gone – well I was, but that’s not the only reason I was like that. I guess it really upset me that Harry was nowhere to be found throughout all of it – he wasn’t there before then either really and I thought he would be for that, but he wasn’t. I don’t care if he wasn’t there for me – I could get over that, but he should’ve been there for mum – especially after all that she did for him. She took him in when things at home weren’t great for him; she treated him like family dad”

My dad took a deep breath as he pondered what I had just told him. I knew it was a lot to take in at once, but this is what I didn’t want – I didn’t want my dad taking on my problems. I didn’t like burdening people with problems that were mine and that they didn’t need to be worrying about.

He pressed his hands to the counter before looking me in the eyes and responding. “I’m sure he would’ve been there for you if he could – for mum. Harry’s always been there for you when you needed it and you know that. Don’t give him a hard time – it was probably just as hard on him as it was for you.”

“I don’t know, I guess I’m more mad at myself than him for letting it get to me so easily. I know he would’ve been there if he had the chance” I admitted, feeling defeated. Harry would’ve been there for my mum and he would’ve been there for me, that wasn’t something that I didn’t think about. He was always there for me when it counted so I expected him to be there when I needed him the most. I would’ve given up any other day that we spent together to just have him with me to hold me when I cried – let me know that everything was going to get better, if not today, then tomorrow or the next day.

“I just miss her daddy, more than ever” I confessed, tears falling down my cheeks.

He stood up from his spot at the breakfast nook and placed an arm around my shoulder. My body soon fell into his side as he pulled me in for a hug. “I know Petal. I miss her too”. He placed a soft kiss on the top of my head as he rubbed my arm in comfort. “Just don’t take it out on Harry, it’s not his fault – remember that Abigail. I’m sure he was grieving too and he needed you there just like you needed him” he responded, pulling away to look at me.

He started walking away once he felt like the words sunk in before I stopped him. “I love you daddy.”

He smiled as he looked down at his shoes, taking in the words that I didn’t say that often. He looked back up at me before placing his hands in his pocket. “I love you too Petal.”

“You know … you’re doing a great job. I know I don’t tell you that as often as I should, but I’m really glad that I have you as a father”

The look on his face softened more as his eyes began to glisten with tears. “Well I couldn’t ask for a more wonderful daughter. Mum would be proud of you”

Tears formed in my own eyes, not because I was a “wonderful daughter,” but because I knew mum wouldn’t be proud of me … not one bit.

If only he knew what his little girl has been up to since mum died – he wouldn’t be too proud of her then.

Notes

I know it's been a while since I last posted, but it's finally here!
We're finally getting somewhere with Abigail and there's going to be more drama in a few chapters!
Hope you enjoy and comment to let me know what you think/havesuggestions .x