Forever
Do you remember?
I remember the first time you spoke to me.
It was on April 4th, in 1997, on a cool autumn's day. The wind was mild but bearable, and the big oak tree a metre away from the coolest playground known to man had all of its leaves still on it, with large and sturdy branches that kept us up even though people who were smaller than us couldn't go on it. I never understood this fact but I knew you suspected at the time it was because of its old and ancient power. I remember you telling me that we had to preserve its magic, and instead of laughing like any other four year old would, I decided that you and I would become friends. The big words that you used usually wouldn't sound right coming out of a four year old's mouth, but strangely, it did from yours.
Do you remember when we were seven and we thought you were pregnant because we slept beside each other and thought we 'slept together'? I remember you telling me that your parents would kill you, and while holding your hands I told you we would get married? I said we could get married like in a fairytale, in a castle and everything. We could have a house on the beach for our kids to play on. We could be parents by day and superheroes by night. Sometimes you'd argue that you'd rather be superheroes all the time, but I had to remind you several times that we’d have to take care of the kids too. During those times, you’d obliged too and we continued on playing together, pretending we were Batman and Robin, fighting evil everywhere we went. The evil came in the form of your older brother, who told us we were too young to be fighting for things we didn’t understand. You nodded wisely and acted like you know what he was saying, but I knew you didn’t have a clue. We were only seven, after all.
I remember the first time you asked me out.
Eight years had passed and you were standing at my front door, playing with the silver bracelets that made a funny clanging noise when your hands moved. I was curious to why you were there, but as soon as I saw your face I began to worry. I shook your shoulders, asking “what happened?” and “are you okay?” The smile you gave me made me feel better instantly, and my knees almost collapsed with relief as you told me everything was fine. In fact, nothing had ever been better and with that the words I had always secretly wanted to hear tumbled out of your mouth, “will you go out with me?” Those words were literally, music to my ears and they were the only lyrics that passed through my mind every time I was away from you. I hated being away from you for so long, but you told me to follow my dreams, and I did. For you.
The first time you ever watched me sing live on the X-Factor with four other boys that were now like my brothers to me was a dream come true. We had just performed Kids in America and we were feeling on top of the world, like nobody could stop us. Simon told us it was “our best performance yet” and I was feeling as high as a bird, like nothing could make me come down. I hadn’t known the best part of the night was still coming, when you surprised me backstage with a massive hug, a long and sweet kiss and half the menu from Nando’s. I never forgot that night; it was a night of firsts for the both of us.
And lastly, I remember January 11th, 2012, when you told me you couldn’t do this anymore. When you felt like you couldn’t be with me anymore because the distance between us was too hard to bear, when you felt like giving up and I wasn’t there to help you through it. I’ll never forgive myself for it, for being there for you was one of the things I had strived to do to make you happy. If you were happy, I knew I could be happy too. I depended on you, needed you and you left me.
But I’m not giving up that easily. A month may have gone by, but I’m going to get you back, no matter what I do. Riley Johnstone, you will be mine.
---
“Riley, can you please help me with the flowers?” I stand up tiredly, rushing over to my co-worker Anna, who’s busy arranging the flowers in the display window. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and we’re preparing for the rush of men of all ages, who have clearly forgotten to get their loved ones some freshly stemmed roses for the big day.
Once upon a time, I was a huge fan of romance. Hand over the red roses, the heart shaped chocolate and the occasional chick flick any day and I would have been putty in your hands. But since January 11th, I’d felt empty. There’s a hole in my heart that cannot be replaced and if it could, it’d only be filled in by one boy, Niall Horan.
I miss him, every day and every night of every hour in these long days. I miss him terribly, so much that I cry myself to sleep just thinking that I can’t have him here with me. I remember stealing his favourite white V-neck and sleeping in it to remember his Niall-y smell, but since then the smell has worn out and has begun to smell like my smell. If I don’t have his smell, I don’t have anything to remember him by.
Long ago I had taken down our pictures we had taken together, and had placed them in a cardboard box that was currently lost within my wardrobe. On more than one occasion, I had tried to look for it but came up empty.
“I think the roses look fine next to the hydrangeas, to be honest,” I inform Nancy, who is busy arranging the roses. “Leave it as it is.”
“Fine,” she huffs, but I know she’s not really upset, she’s more upset about the fact that she doesn’t have a date for Valentine’s Day. I tell her it’s no big deal, all Valentine’s Day is, is a bunch of commercial bull crap that brings in a ton of money every year for people to spend their money on something stupid, like those red roses and those heart shaped chocolates that I used to love.
She doesn’t reply to my sullen words and instead we close up the store, the two of us silently working together to clean up the mess and count up the amount of money we have made for today. Bidding each other goodbye, she heads off one way and I onto the other, walking home to my lonely apartment where I’ll be having a lovely date with me, a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and Bridget Jones’ Diary. Chick flicks are something I’ll never stop loving.
I search under the mat at my door for my key, but there’s nothing there. Sighing, I reach into my handbag to get my spare key but it turns out I don’t need it, for my door is already open. Curious, I step inside my darkly lit apartment to find candles lit in each corner of my small apartment, lighting up the surroundings. I realize there is a note taped to my fridge, a note I had not put there earlier as it has my name scrawled on it in big, cursive writing. I walk over and grab the note, unfolding it and holding it to the candles as I see a cryptic sentence being written.
Riley,
Do you remember the first time you told me you loved me? We were seventeen and you surprised me at the X-Factor, with half the Nando’s menu with me and a whole lot of love waiting for me backstage. The only thought that ran through my mind? I’m in love with this girl and I’m never going to let her forget it.
The note stops there and I look up sharply. It’s Niall’s handwriting, where is he? He isn’t standing in front of me and I can’t hear any noises, perhaps he’s in my bedroom. As I set my handbag down on the counter, excitement fills through my veins while I head to my bedroom. My eyes widen in disbelief as I take in the scene around me.
My bed is covered with roses. Not just any roses, beautiful red roses that I recognize as being a big order from our flower shop in the heart of London. Around the edges of my room are vanilla scented candles that Niall bought me once when we went out shopping. Above my bed lies the best part: the photos that I had taken down have been found, they are tacked back onto the wall and form the shape of a love heart, with a note in the middle of it that says my name. I get the feeling I’m supposed to grab it and as I do, I read what it says.
Turn around.
I obey the note and turn, my eyes meeting with the boy I’ve loved for nearly all my life. The boy who never fails to make me smile when I’m having the worst of days and feeling like absolute crap, the boy I played Batman and Robin with as a kid and the boy who I’ve never stopped loving, even though I broke up with him and not the other way around.
“Never will I let you forget it,” Niall finally speaks. It’s a wonder my knees haven’t buckled to the ground and collapsed. My heart immediately tightens at the sound of that Irish accent I have missed so much; the deepness in his voice surprises me since it hasn’t been that long when I last heard it.
He steps closer to me and takes both of my hands, clasping his hands with mine as he kisses my fingers. “I promised myself I’d never let you forget, never let you forget that Riley Johnstone, I’m in love with you and I’ll always love you for as long as I will possibly live.”
My face breaks out into a massive grin and I wrap my arms around him enthusiastically, not caring about the state of how I look or feel, as long as I’m with Niall, I’m the happiest I’ll ever be. “I’ll never forget,” I tell him, looking up into his crystal blue eyes. The hole in my heart has closed up, and I’m feeling the best I’ve ever had in a long time. “I will love you forever. ‘Til the day I die.”
It was on April 4th, in 1997, on a cool autumn's day. The wind was mild but bearable, and the big oak tree a metre away from the coolest playground known to man had all of its leaves still on it, with large and sturdy branches that kept us up even though people who were smaller than us couldn't go on it. I never understood this fact but I knew you suspected at the time it was because of its old and ancient power. I remember you telling me that we had to preserve its magic, and instead of laughing like any other four year old would, I decided that you and I would become friends. The big words that you used usually wouldn't sound right coming out of a four year old's mouth, but strangely, it did from yours.
Do you remember when we were seven and we thought you were pregnant because we slept beside each other and thought we 'slept together'? I remember you telling me that your parents would kill you, and while holding your hands I told you we would get married? I said we could get married like in a fairytale, in a castle and everything. We could have a house on the beach for our kids to play on. We could be parents by day and superheroes by night. Sometimes you'd argue that you'd rather be superheroes all the time, but I had to remind you several times that we’d have to take care of the kids too. During those times, you’d obliged too and we continued on playing together, pretending we were Batman and Robin, fighting evil everywhere we went. The evil came in the form of your older brother, who told us we were too young to be fighting for things we didn’t understand. You nodded wisely and acted like you know what he was saying, but I knew you didn’t have a clue. We were only seven, after all.
I remember the first time you asked me out.
Eight years had passed and you were standing at my front door, playing with the silver bracelets that made a funny clanging noise when your hands moved. I was curious to why you were there, but as soon as I saw your face I began to worry. I shook your shoulders, asking “what happened?” and “are you okay?” The smile you gave me made me feel better instantly, and my knees almost collapsed with relief as you told me everything was fine. In fact, nothing had ever been better and with that the words I had always secretly wanted to hear tumbled out of your mouth, “will you go out with me?” Those words were literally, music to my ears and they were the only lyrics that passed through my mind every time I was away from you. I hated being away from you for so long, but you told me to follow my dreams, and I did. For you.
The first time you ever watched me sing live on the X-Factor with four other boys that were now like my brothers to me was a dream come true. We had just performed Kids in America and we were feeling on top of the world, like nobody could stop us. Simon told us it was “our best performance yet” and I was feeling as high as a bird, like nothing could make me come down. I hadn’t known the best part of the night was still coming, when you surprised me backstage with a massive hug, a long and sweet kiss and half the menu from Nando’s. I never forgot that night; it was a night of firsts for the both of us.
And lastly, I remember January 11th, 2012, when you told me you couldn’t do this anymore. When you felt like you couldn’t be with me anymore because the distance between us was too hard to bear, when you felt like giving up and I wasn’t there to help you through it. I’ll never forgive myself for it, for being there for you was one of the things I had strived to do to make you happy. If you were happy, I knew I could be happy too. I depended on you, needed you and you left me.
But I’m not giving up that easily. A month may have gone by, but I’m going to get you back, no matter what I do. Riley Johnstone, you will be mine.
---
“Riley, can you please help me with the flowers?” I stand up tiredly, rushing over to my co-worker Anna, who’s busy arranging the flowers in the display window. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and we’re preparing for the rush of men of all ages, who have clearly forgotten to get their loved ones some freshly stemmed roses for the big day.
Once upon a time, I was a huge fan of romance. Hand over the red roses, the heart shaped chocolate and the occasional chick flick any day and I would have been putty in your hands. But since January 11th, I’d felt empty. There’s a hole in my heart that cannot be replaced and if it could, it’d only be filled in by one boy, Niall Horan.
I miss him, every day and every night of every hour in these long days. I miss him terribly, so much that I cry myself to sleep just thinking that I can’t have him here with me. I remember stealing his favourite white V-neck and sleeping in it to remember his Niall-y smell, but since then the smell has worn out and has begun to smell like my smell. If I don’t have his smell, I don’t have anything to remember him by.
Long ago I had taken down our pictures we had taken together, and had placed them in a cardboard box that was currently lost within my wardrobe. On more than one occasion, I had tried to look for it but came up empty.
“I think the roses look fine next to the hydrangeas, to be honest,” I inform Nancy, who is busy arranging the roses. “Leave it as it is.”
“Fine,” she huffs, but I know she’s not really upset, she’s more upset about the fact that she doesn’t have a date for Valentine’s Day. I tell her it’s no big deal, all Valentine’s Day is, is a bunch of commercial bull crap that brings in a ton of money every year for people to spend their money on something stupid, like those red roses and those heart shaped chocolates that I used to love.
She doesn’t reply to my sullen words and instead we close up the store, the two of us silently working together to clean up the mess and count up the amount of money we have made for today. Bidding each other goodbye, she heads off one way and I onto the other, walking home to my lonely apartment where I’ll be having a lovely date with me, a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and Bridget Jones’ Diary. Chick flicks are something I’ll never stop loving.
I search under the mat at my door for my key, but there’s nothing there. Sighing, I reach into my handbag to get my spare key but it turns out I don’t need it, for my door is already open. Curious, I step inside my darkly lit apartment to find candles lit in each corner of my small apartment, lighting up the surroundings. I realize there is a note taped to my fridge, a note I had not put there earlier as it has my name scrawled on it in big, cursive writing. I walk over and grab the note, unfolding it and holding it to the candles as I see a cryptic sentence being written.
Riley,
Do you remember the first time you told me you loved me? We were seventeen and you surprised me at the X-Factor, with half the Nando’s menu with me and a whole lot of love waiting for me backstage. The only thought that ran through my mind? I’m in love with this girl and I’m never going to let her forget it.
The note stops there and I look up sharply. It’s Niall’s handwriting, where is he? He isn’t standing in front of me and I can’t hear any noises, perhaps he’s in my bedroom. As I set my handbag down on the counter, excitement fills through my veins while I head to my bedroom. My eyes widen in disbelief as I take in the scene around me.
My bed is covered with roses. Not just any roses, beautiful red roses that I recognize as being a big order from our flower shop in the heart of London. Around the edges of my room are vanilla scented candles that Niall bought me once when we went out shopping. Above my bed lies the best part: the photos that I had taken down have been found, they are tacked back onto the wall and form the shape of a love heart, with a note in the middle of it that says my name. I get the feeling I’m supposed to grab it and as I do, I read what it says.
Turn around.
I obey the note and turn, my eyes meeting with the boy I’ve loved for nearly all my life. The boy who never fails to make me smile when I’m having the worst of days and feeling like absolute crap, the boy I played Batman and Robin with as a kid and the boy who I’ve never stopped loving, even though I broke up with him and not the other way around.
“Never will I let you forget it,” Niall finally speaks. It’s a wonder my knees haven’t buckled to the ground and collapsed. My heart immediately tightens at the sound of that Irish accent I have missed so much; the deepness in his voice surprises me since it hasn’t been that long when I last heard it.
He steps closer to me and takes both of my hands, clasping his hands with mine as he kisses my fingers. “I promised myself I’d never let you forget, never let you forget that Riley Johnstone, I’m in love with you and I’ll always love you for as long as I will possibly live.”
My face breaks out into a massive grin and I wrap my arms around him enthusiastically, not caring about the state of how I look or feel, as long as I’m with Niall, I’m the happiest I’ll ever be. “I’ll never forget,” I tell him, looking up into his crystal blue eyes. The hole in my heart has closed up, and I’m feeling the best I’ve ever had in a long time. “I will love you forever. ‘Til the day I die.”
