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Nothing Without Love

You wouldn't shut up

Josie's POV


“No, I'm not, I swear. Try me, ask me anything and I'll answer, honestly.” He really wants me to ask him anything. I don't know if he's prepared for this question. I'll play the game. He'll regret this request, I think smugly to myself.


“Okay, how many people have you slept with?” I watch as his body language changes from completely thinking he has the upper hand in this cab to being melted into a puddle of mud. I sit, pursed lips, waiting.


“Um, more than I prefer to admit.” He responds sheepishly and all I can do is cross my arms and shake my head. At least fucking be honest. You know. You know how many people you've been with. “But I know about you Josie.” Him still talking takes me by surprise as my eyes turn in his direction. “I'm paying attention. I know that your dad has those tremors, which I can only imagine is why you go in on Saturday to help with paperwork, and that you smash all your cereal into your milk before you take one bite, that you look at every baby in a stroller and your eyes melt a little when you see them, that you're mind is constantly running with thoughts, that when you first step outside you close your eyes and take a deep breath, it's quick but I can see it. I know you Josie. I know that you don't like wine but you pretend to because everyone else loves it, I know-”


His attention to my life has taken me off guard and I can't help but get him to shut up. Before I can even process my thoughts, my fingers go automatic and take his chin, pushing my lips onto his. I can feel his cold fingers wrap around my waist as my hands move to his neck. I exhale slowly as we seem to melt into each other.


The cab suddenly stops and we break away to realize we're back. After my senses return, I realize this isn't quite how I wanted the night to go, Louis is still stunned so I pay the man, and simply leave him there. The shaking in my hands go away with every step I take away from the taxi, I know they'll be hell to pay for this and I don't quite want to face it. If we go inside, I know Louis won't want to wake Davis and we'll have to be quiet so maybe a conversation will be ignored.


I go straight up the steps to our room and I feel like I'm holding my breath the whole time until I get there then finally letting it go only to get that nervous feeling once again when I hear Louis come in the house and start following my path up the steps. What the hell have I done? I'm feeling frantic but I can't let it show. I have to show him that this was all on purpose. That it doesn't bother me a bit to kiss him and be done with it.


But it does.


I know he's closer now, the foot steps on the stairs have stopped, I'm hoping he's trying to pull himself together before he comes in the door. So I'll bait him. I smile and laugh a little at my sudden plan. I start to lift the bottom of my dress up right as he opens the door, my back turned towards him of course.


“Jesus, Josie. What are you doing?” He asks, surprise in his voice, that was my plan.


“I'm changing for bed. I'm not wearing this dress to sleep in.” I widen my eyes as if to act even more sarcastic. God, I'm so mean. But I don't catch feelings, especially not with someone who is just using me in a plot.


“You could at least go in the closet.” He sits on the bed with his back to me as he takes off his boots and starts to change out of his clothes. How can to people be so comfortable with each other and yet not admit anything, not have any brass to let it all out there. I feel like I'm going to explode soon. “What was that kiss about?” He asks, his voice almost unsure of himself.


I shrug. “I'm sexually frustrated, you wouldn't shut up.” I walk to the bathroom with the rest of my night clothes, only wearing my underwear. When I close the door I feel like all my insides have been ripped apart, I don't think I can do this. We're leaving tomorrow but we still have a whole other week to pretend. This is not who I am.


I change quickly, wash my face, brush my teeth and exit quietly. Louis gets off the bed as soon as I come out, only to walk past me and close the bathroom door. I drop my shoulders, this is what I want I repeat over and over again. I know somewhere inside he's attracted to me but he's not brave enough to let it out and I can't go along pretending it's okay. I'm going to let him win. I smile sweetly to myself. The ball will be in his court, he can do whatever he wants with my news.


I pull the covers back and slip in, just laying down takes so much stress away. I love sleeping. Louis comes out, shirtless, in just sweatpants, his tattoos stick out from the stark contrast of his pale skin as he walks around the bed to the other side. My nerves are all in a bundle as he slides on the other side, my back is facing his side so before I can change my mind, I roll over to see him facing me, a slight smile on his face.


“So sexually frustrated?” He smirks a little. “I'm sure I can assist with that.” He suggests as I start laughing.


“I don't think so, I do remember the last time we were together.” His face immediately blushes and he digs his face into the pillow, I can't stop laughing.


“Ah, that was so embarrassing.” His voice is muffled in the pillowcase as he pounds his fist ever so slightly on the mattress. “And then waking up to see you had left, I knew I blew that right out of the water.” He finally looks up to me, his face not as red as before. And I'm still smiling. This is what I want.


“Louis.” My voice somber compared to the conversation we had just seconds before. I almost can't even look at him but I need to, I need to read his reaction. If he gets up right away and sleeps on the couch then I know where he stands in the matter. “I have something to tell you.” I'm dragging this whole thing out.


“Well go on, what is it?” He encourages me.


“I can't keep pretending this is all a ruse. I've developed real feelings for you and I can't keep pushing them aside or pretending they don't exist. This isn't me, this hiding out and hoping the feelings will go away, I can't do that anymore. If you don't feel the same way, that's fine, we only have a week left and then we don't have to see each other if we don't want to.” He gives me nothing as I close my eyes and suddenly realize that if he doesn't like me I'll have to get a new job. He's been friends with Erica and Niall longer then I've been around so it's only fair, and the fact that he only lives fifteen minutes away then I can't avoid him forever.


I swear my senses have been kicked up a notch since I've spoken. I could hear a fly's wings if they were close, I could hear Louis shift a little in the sheets, I've stayed perfectly still, waiting for a blow to come out, for it to hit me in the face with reality.


“Josie.” He starts and the way he speaks, the tone of his voice I don't know where it's going. I don't know if I should immediately reject what I just said and pretend it didn't happen or burst into tears. Either is acceptable I decided in a split second. “Josie.” He says my name again and I look at him, the way he says my name it just seems like the words drip from his lips. All he could do is say my name and I'd be resolved to a puddle on the floor. I finally open my eyes and study his face, it's seemed to have softened, a surprise into myself. “I'm glad you finally admitted what I've known all along. See getting you to sleep with me was all part of my plan.” He chuckles quietly and I don't know what the hell he's speaking about. “See, since we had sex, I couldn't get you out of my brain. I know it sounds stupid but I couldn't. Then running into you again is not something I thought would happen, Zayn always believes in this stupid thing called fate, because of his girlfriend, Nora, and I could never fully understand or appreciate it until Niall and Erica hired you. And now I can't get you off my mind.” His Adam's apple bobs up and down as he swallows slowly. I feel like I'm on the edge of my seat, waiting for his every word to continue. “I would love for us to not play pretend anymore.” He's cautious. “If you'll let me.”


My palms are instantly sweaty as I don't know what to do, this is what I've wanted and now it's here, I have not a clue about what to do. I let my body react as I scoot closer to him, I would love to kiss him but I don't think it's the best idea at the moment. He moves to his back and opens his arms to me as I get as close as possible to him. Everything just feels right. Just like the pieces are pulling in together. We'll see what happens in the morning but at this moment, his hand rubbing my back ever so slightly, I just let it go and fall asleep.

Notes

Ah! I've literally been trying to update this story for the last five days, the website kept crashing for me, my computer is super protective apparently!

So here it is! Hopefully I can get another one in before too long, like after the holiday? :)

Hope all is well!!

xoxox

Comments

Love all your stories hope you keep going on this one

This was so cool! Love it. So lovely. They are too cute.
Sending inspiration. We love you. I wish you finish this in a way you want and wish and I can't wait to see what you have in mind for future of these two :)

This was so sweet! When they get so sweet my drama alarm starts chiming!!! Sorry I didn't read it yesterday, I didn't log in until today! Happy Halloween!!!

Love the update!