Nothing Without Love

Josie's POV

It's been about a week since Louis and I had an odd all day encounter. I don't bring him up in conversation with Niall or Erica but I can't help but pay attention when they bring him up. I know from conversations that he's been busy working, writing for a few new people. I don't know how someone even creates a song, I have no clue where to start or how to create a hook, it's better to leave that stuff up to the professionals. All my songs would probably have a nursery rhyme hint to it, that's all I seem to sing now a days anyway. Not that I'm good at singing, but Ryan doesn't seem to mind, she doesn't cry so I can assume she tolerates me.

Tonight is the first night Niall and Erica are heading out without Ryan, she's almost a month old so it's probably due but Erica has been delaying everything as much as possible. Telling Niall she can't find anything to wear, wondering if Ryan will forget about her in the short evening they're away, asking a million times if they can just have a night instead. All to which Niall has refused, he's doing his best to get her out of the house. Helping her pick out clothes, reassuring her a thousand times that I'm more than capable to take care of Ryan. That Erica picked me for a reason.

I find the situation comical but I think if I was in her shoes that I'd probably be the same way, all moms seem nervous to be away from their babies.

“Okay Josie, here she is!” Niall comes out with Ryan swaddled tightly. “Don't tell Erica that she's awake, I told her she was sleeping so we could leave faster.” He chuckles.

“Niall!” Erica shouts from down the hall and he politely excuses himself to to talk with her. Ryan is awake, not wide awake, but she just looks so perfect. Sometimes I think about how neat it would be to just start over with life, but know everything you know right now. Can you imagine how much easier school would be? How much easier a personal life would be in high school if you knew then what you know now. But I'll just have to share that all with Ryan instead.

“Ah, there she is! Oh, I don't want to leave!” Erica exclaims. “I knew she wasn't asleep.” She notices once she's come closer, I can't help but smile. “Josie, I don't want to leave.” She pinches her eyes shut, silently pleading with me to come up with any sort of an excuse to keep her at home.

“But you'll have fun! You and Niall haven't been out in ages. Go out, drink some champagne, stay up late and just enjoy each other again. I've got this cutie.” I smile at her, trying to make it easier for Erica to leave.

“I know, don't tell Niall that he's right. It will go to his head and I'll never hear the end of it.” She leans down and kisses Ryan, sneaking out of her room as I rock her to sleep. One day this will be me, one day it will be my baby instead of someone else's but I'm in no hurry. I think thirty is a good age to have a child, you get to live in your twenties and do what you want instead of doing what someone else wants.

I get lost in my thoughts holding Ryan I don't even notice that she's sleeping. Niall and Erica aren't expected back until late, I'll be staying in the bed that's in Ryan's room but it's still early, I'm not ready to go to bed at seven. I gently place Ryan in her crib and turn on her noise maker as well as the baby monitor, grabbing the extra one to take downstairs.

A nice thing about Erica and Niall staying in so much is their movie collection is insane. And if I want I can pay five hundred bucks to watch a movie the day it comes out in theaters. I don't think I'd do that but I know they do and have told me time and time again that if I want to they'd pay it. Sometimes I find it insane as to what people will spend their money on.

I snuggle up with a blanket and grab the remote, mindlessly flipping channels until I find an old movie to watch. Field of Dreams, it was always one of my dads favorites, Kevin Costner looks so young in this movie it's insane.

Halfway through I find myself drifting off to sleep, I forget how slow moving this movie can actually be. If I fall asleep at 8:30 I'll be wide awake at three am and that won't be fun for anyone. The gate alert startles me, I can only assume that Niall and Erica are back as I know they weren’t expecting anyone.

I walk quickly to the video screen by the front door, ninja like as even though I'm twenty-five I don't want people to know that I'm home when I'm home alone. I usually just hide until they go away. When I recognize Louis coming out of his Range Rover I all but freeze. What the hell is he doing here?

I take a peek at the mirror in the entry way, wiping the fallen mascara under my eye and and tousling my hair just a little bit more. Why I even try is beyond me because I don't want to impress him, I don't need to. When he knocks on the door I'm startled, which boggles my mind as I knew he was here, it was just a matter of time before he would get to the door.

“Josie.” His tone seems to signify that he's confused but I don't know what else to tell him.

“Whatcha doing Louis?” I ask, leaning against the door frame, blocking his entrance, crossing my arms and my ankles.

“Is Niall around?” He looks over my shoulder trying to peek into the house.

“No, him and Erica went out for the first time since Ryan was born. She's already down for the night.” I tilt my head towards the staircase, her room as if he really cares.

“Oh, well, sorry to bother you then.” He turns to leave as I start to close the door, it's almost like our interaction is day one all over again. I swear things might be up and down between us all the time. “Actually.” Lost in my own thoughts I didn't realize that he had turned around and was tack to facing me. “Do you want to hang out tonight?” He asks, I can sense some nervousness in his voice, I'll never know how to read him.

“Um, sure?” I don't know why I say it with question as I'm already moving my body away from the door and allowing him to enter.

“Thanks.” He wipes his feet and takes his shoes off at the door, lining them up with the edge of the rug. It seems a little obsessive compulsive but I like that side of him. He packed the cooler he had bought for me with precision, like a Tetris puzzle. It kind of shocked me but it seems like maybe since his whole life in the band was hoping from one place to the next, that was his way of coping with things. Creating order when he wasn't surrounded by it. “So what are we watching?” He asks, I've noticed he's already at the couch, taking the blanket I had wrapped around myself. I try not to burn a hole in the back of his head as I come around and try to rip it off of him.

“Well, this was mine.” I inform him, he's got a tight grip on it as it's already wrapped around his legs.

“We can share!” He suggests as he lifts up one side of the blanket and I can't help but just tuck my feet under. I don't know why I'm putting myself in this position but it's too late. It's happening. I don't even feel bad about it, it doesn't feel odd at all as I lay down and keep my feet tucked under. He rests his hands over my legs, things feel oddly natural as I flip through channels, Like we've done this before. “So what are we watching?”

“I was watching Field of Dreams but I kept falling asleep so I think I need to watch something different.” I toss the remote in his general direction and he catches it with one hand as he starts to flip through channels.

“Oh, how about Jurassic World?” He suggests, turning it on before I have a chance to answer but I don't mind the movie. I remember when I came out, Adam all but begging me to go to the theater with him.

We settle into the movie, my ears half listening to the monitor for the slightest movement to come from the other end. I don't flinch or seem to notice when Louis starts to absentmindedly rubbing my feet through the blanket. I turn my attention to him just briefly to see he's still watching the movie. I don't know what has possessed him to do so but I'm enjoying it so I don't want to say anything for fear he'll stop. I haven't had a good foot rub in ages.

“Josie.” His voice makes me groan for the fact that I'm so relaxed I'm practically falling asleep on the couch, I must be more tired then I thought I was.

“Hum?” I make a noise in response to him saying my name.

“I have a favor to ask of you.” He starts which brings my level of alertness skyrocketing.

Notes

Ah! So what do you think Louis is going to ask Josie? I wasn't going to update until tomorrow but I've been writing quite a bit so I wanted to share what I've got! Hope you all enjoy it, I'll probably update again tomorrow!!

Have a great day!

xoxox