Guilt chilled me to the bone when I woke up in Harry's arms to Margaret gently tapping me awake. She smiled fondly at me, concern shining in her eyes as she retreated to her private flight attendant room. Harry's arms were curled tightly around me, holding me to his warm chest. I hated how much I liked the feel of him holding me. It was wrong.

Silently, I tried to wedge myself out of his grip, wincing when he grumbled and pulled me tighter to him.
"Just a few more minutes of snuggle time." Harry mumbled, tucking my head under his chin and lightly stroking my thighs under the blanket.
The feeling of his fingers on my skin made me shudder.
"Is something wrong love?" Harry asked, now fingering my black lace panties, gently tugging them away from my hips.
"No!" I exclaimed, jolting of of his lap and taking the blanket with me, wrapping it tightly around my body.
"Nera. What is it?" Harry asked, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, gazing at me with a glimmer of worry in his eyes.
"Nothing. It's just… We're gonna be landing soon and I need to get dressed. Plus, I really need a shower." I said, grabbing my clothes off of the floor and heading to the bathroom.
"I'll join you." Harry said, standing up and revealing his naked form.
I averted my eyes from his trim torso and other assets, looking down at the ground.
"I don't think the shower is big enough." I whispered.
"What was that love?" He asked quietly, walking over to me and placing a finger under my chin, tipping my head up until I was looking into those brilliant green eyes of his.
"I really need to shower. And I need to do it alone. When I get back, you need to be clothed." I said, gritting my teeth and turning away from him forcefully.
"Nera." He called, his voice raw with passion. "I'm sorry. For pushing you. It was wrong of me. You have a boyfriend and I shouldn't have let you do that."
Turning sharply on my heel, I hurtled toward him.
"It was my fault Harry! Don't you get that?" I yelled. "I'm the one who cheated. I did that. You didn't push me at all! You almost didn't let me! But I did it anyway and I hate myself for it! But the worst part of it all is that even though I feel a crazy amount of guilt, I still enjoyed it!"
"It's not your fault Nera! I let you do it!" Harry said, reaching out to brush the tears from my cheek but stopping himself. "I don't know how to handle this."
He sighed as I stood there, sobbing. All I wanted in that moment was to feel his arms around me and have him kiss away the tears. Wrapping my arms tightly around my thin frame, I shook my head. Harry was dangerous. He was passionate and unpredictable. He was everything I'd always craved. But Paul was what I needed. I had always needed his support in my life. He was the first person to truly love me.

Taking a shaky breath, I wiped the tears from my cheek and looked into Harry's eyes, feeling my lip quiver as I shook my head softly.
"I'm sorry Harry. I think that I need to distance myself from you. I crave everything about you, that much is true. But I can't break Paul's heart like that. He loves me. And I can't let that go." I whispered, my body shaking violently.
Harry nodded, dipping his head and running his fingers through his hair.
"I understand Nera. But understand this, please. I would never hurt you. What I feel with you… I've never felt anything like it. You ignite something inside me. I don't know what it is. But I know that you're the only person that can make me feel that way. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call me up. I'll always be here for you, love." Harry said, shoving his hands deep into his pockets and staring at me, tears glistening in his eyes.
Nodding, I slowly turned around, walking into the bathroom and shutting the door on the one man that sparked the fire inside me.

---

Nera's Outfit

I strolled down the street hand-in-hand with Paul, snuggling into his warm torso as we walked. The crisp spring London air blew in my face, making me smile. The producers of The Vampire Diaries had postponed the second week of filming so that the stars could attend London fashion week. Paul had flown into surprise me. Guilt flashed through my mind as I realized we would both be seeing Harry that night.
"Paul?" I said, stopping by a light post and taking both of his hands. "Can we go back to the hotel for tea? I need to tell you something."
"Sure. What's wrong?" He said, his forehead creasing as he stared down at me, obvious concern shining on his face.
"I-I'll explain when we get to Claridge's." I mumbled, ducking my head and continuing down the sidewalk, ignoring the palpable worry radiating off of Paul.

Ten minutes later we were sitting at my usual table in the tea room of my favorite London hotel, the world-famous Claridge's. I had been coming here since I was five.
"Your mint tea Miss Depp." The waiter said, placing my tea in front of me.
"Thank you." I replied, taking Paul's hands as the waiter poured the tea, finally leaving us in peace.
Paul leaned forward, his eyes shining with worry.
"I need you to not talk until I'm finished. Please, do that for me… and then you can do whatever you want." I said, biting my lip as he nodded, the gears turning in his head as he tried to work out what was coming next. "As you know, I gave Harry a ride on my jet to London. You saw the pictures everywhere. Harry came over the night before that. Nothing happened! I can promise you that. But, with that being said, he did sleep over. We just ate dinner and fell asleep watching TV, but that's why I gave him a ride over here. Because him being over caused him to miss his flight."
I breathed in a shaky breath, noticing the tenseness in Paul's shoulders and the way he was glaring at the ground, his jaw clenched tightly.
"O-On the way over here… Harry and I… We did something." I mumbled, unsure if I could continue.
I paused, collecting my thoughts.
"What did you do?" Paul asked, his voice a low growl.
I glanced up at him, reaching out to stroke his cheek, only to have him pull away sharply and glare at me.
"What did you do?" He asked, a burning rage filling his gaze. "Answer me Nera."
A few hotel guests from nearby tables were beginning to glance over at us as I ducked my head, preparing to answer him.
"We… kissed. A lot. Then… Then I gave him a blow job." I muttered, tears beginning to trickle down my cheeks as I felt Paul completely close up beside me, yanking his hand away and sighing.
Looking up at him, I quickly wiped my tears away, desperately needing him to understand. He averted his eyes from mine, swiping a hand through his hair and jolting up from the table, storming out of the room. I stared after him, more tears spilling down my cheeks as people looked at me.

Standing up, I followed him, sprinting up the long winding staircases until I reached the sixth and final floor. Fumbling through my pocket, I managed to find my room key, barely able to unlock the door.
"Paul?" I said, stepping into the suite and closing the door behind me with a click.
Walking through the double doors into the bedroom, I found him sitting on the king sized bed with his back to me. He looked like he was made of stone. The stillness that enveloped the room was overwhelming.
"Paul please look at me." I said, cautiously walking up to him and placing my hands on his shoulders, lightly turning his face towards mine. His eyes were dull and lifeless. There was no love in them, only despair. "Please listen to me! I just need to explain!"
I continued screaming at him, panic erupting in my chest now as I shook his shoulder roughly, hating myself for hurting him.
"Please Paul! I need you!" I yelled, taking his face in mine and looking into his eyes.
"Fine. Talk. Now." He muttered, pushing me away from him and pointing at the opposite side of the bed.

"Paul. I love you. I know what I did was wrong. It's just… I've never felt love for someone before. Not like I love you. I think I was scared that our friendship would be damaged, if for some reason things didn't work out. I needed an escape and what I did with Harry is no excuse. But I needed to test if I really loved you. And I do! I really and truly, deeply, love you. I need you more then you need me and that breaks my heart. Please, Paul. Please forgive me." I said, snot filling my nose and sobs wracking my body with shudders.
Paul turned his head and stared at me, tears shining in his eyes, which were burning with rage and anger and love all at once. Slowly, in a time of what felt like hours, his gaze softened and he nodded, opening his arms and enveloping me.
"I told you that I will always love you. Now is no exception." Paul murmured, stroking my cheek and holding me tight to him as I struggled to control my happiness at his forgiveness.
"Thank you Paul. I love you." I cried, kissing him lightly on the lips.
"I love you too Nera."

Notes

Ok! Sorry that the writing is kind of bad-- I wrote this chapter just now before bed and I didn't have much time to get it in… But I did want to update. Anyway, obviously Nera and Harry are gonna have more drama, but they won't be doing super sexual things at the moment. Please subscribe and vote if you liked the story! Also please comment- I love getting feedback from my readers (even negative feedback- as it helps me improve my writing.)

Thanks so much for reading! :)

xoxo
ThatGirlll