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I stood outside the hotel room for a solid two minutes before I found the nerve to push my key card into the slot and open the door. When Liv wanted to give me a hard time about something, she was effective. I opened the door, knowing that she would be waiting (and seething) on the other side of it.

“Logan?” She stood up from her place on her bed, a worried look permanently etched into her face. Her right hand flew to her heart as she let out a sigh of relief.

“Liv, I am so sorry. Things just got out of control and –“

She cut off my apology with a bone crushing hug. I realized pretty quickly that I could feel wetness on my arm.

“Livi, are you crying?”

“I was worried you whore!” She stepped back, slapping my arm several times in a row as she sniffed back more tears. “We’re in a strange city. You disappear and when I wake up, you’re not back yet. Not cool, Logan. Not cool at all.”

Stepping back, away from her slap-happy hands, I sighed. “Okay I get that, but I didn’t disappear, Liv. You did. You left me in a bar in a strange city without any warning. I would have left the minute you needed to, but instead I had to have a stranger tell me that my blonde friend wasn’t standing outside talking on the phone anymore. Can we talk about that please?”

I understood her being worried. I got that and I was willing to take responsibility for it. But I would not let her off the hook for abandoning me.

“What happened on that phone call?” I bounced onto the edge of my hotel bed, crossing my legs beneath me.

“I asked Jackson how Evan was and how it was going, and he told me that he didn’t know. His mom came and picked Evan up for the weekend.” Her position mirrored mine, but I could see her shaking her head softly in disgust. “He acts like he can’t fathom taking care of his own son when I’m not there. I just got so angry that he puts in minimal effort that I snapped. I told him to pack his shit and not to be there when I got home.”

My mouth fell open.

“You’re kicking him out?”

“I’m tired of feeling like this.” She smiled, her eyes twinkling with something other than tears. “But that’s enough about my bad decisions from last night. Let’s talk about yours.”

Ah, there it was. She wanted dirt.

“I’d be happy to share if I could remember them.”

“Let’s start with whose number you texted me from.” She bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud.

“Harry Styles showed up on your bar stool after you left last night.” This time it was her mouth that fell open in shock. “Looking all British, with his tan suede boots and man bun. He told me you weren’t there anymore and then we proceed to get very, very drunk.”

“You got Harry Styles white girl wasted?”

“I think it was the other way around. But regardless, we did a lot of tequila shots and then I crashed on his couch, wearing his socks. That’s all I know.”

“I’d wear his socks too,” she whispered, more to herself than anything. “Especially if he was still attached to them.”

I bust out laughing.

“What?” She gave me an I-know-you’re-not-an-idiot-despite-last-night’s-antics look. “You know that man is sex on two legs.”

“Boy, Liv. He’s a 21-year-old boy, for heaven’s sake.”

I would not agree with her. I would not call him a man.
I would not agree with her. I would not call him a man.

If I kept chanting it over and over in my head, I was bound to believe it eventually.

“Oh come on. I know you aren’t that dense. I bet he’s got moves Adam never dared to even think about.” I heard the sharp intake of breath. “Oh, Logan. I’m sorry. His name just slipped out.”

My senior year of college had been spent pretty deep in the local music scene, and everything that came with it. It was the only time in our decades long friendship that Liv and I hadn’t been side-by-side for every major life event. It was then that I met Adam, the bad boy guitar player of a wildly popular rock band, and I’d fallen head over good sense for his charm. The first year everything was easy. We partied together, we dissected the newest music trends together, we had fun together. But that second year everything started to change.

We were living in a tiny apartment in a shady neighborhood downtown, and while I had graduated with a business degree and had immediately found a decent job in corporate America, Adam had dropped out of school and was stuck in a downward spiral. I had to be at work early every weekday morning, and he had to play gigs at hole-in-the-wall bars until the
sun came up. But the opposite schedule wasn’t what caused our eventual downfall.

Four years ago, I walked in on him during a get together at our apartment, huddled in our tiny bathroom with several of his band mates. Lined up on the fake marble counter were a couple of lines of a powdery white substance. Cocaine was pretty common in the music industry but I’d made my feelings on the subject known time and time again.

Alcohol was one thing, but I wouldn’t tolerate drugs.

I watched in horror as the man that I thought I was building a life with bent over at the waist and snorted a line up his slightly crooked nose. I immediately put my hand through the drywall, leaving a fist sized hole in my wake. I was 25-years-old and it was the first time I’d ever used my knuckles to prove a point.

I’d thrown whatever I could carry into a duffle bag and high tailed it out of that apartment the same night. Then I’d gone straight to Liv and Jackson’s house and spilled my guts the second I walked in. Liv had been the friend I knew she always would be; she held me in her arms as my shoulders shook from such intense sobbing. And then we’d agreed never to utter his name out loud again.

“We should get going.” My voice was shaky; Liv pretended not to notice.

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Notes

So sorry for the wait on the update guys! I had a horseback riding accident and I'm just now able to get back to updating. The good news is that I have several chapters for you!! Hope you love them and as always, reviews and ratings are welcome and appreciated! :)