Eva's POV

I am staying over Harry Styles' house for the weekend.

Let me take a full forever to process that. Actually I don't have forever. I just have tonight. I know my dad is going to force me to ride with him tomorrow purely for the convenience. I don't know anymore. Spending a whole weekend with him? Showing him around L.A.? I'm not even sure what to do with that. I need to work on detoxing him from my brain first.

I finally made it to my room, getting ready for bed. My window was open but I was too lazy to close it. If Harry was watching me it'd be a free show right now. I started taking off all my clothes and slipped into my loose, soft PJs slowly. I enjoyed being by myself. I missed it. I miss being around my friend. I miss my dad taking me to school every day and picking me up.

I used to do these things. I've gotten so used to them before now I wanted them again. I am so tired right now. Tired of thinking so much and just done with everything. I can't escape Harry Styles for the life of me. I wonder what he was thinking with all this. He hadn't said a word about anything and I can't read his eyes or mind. He's a damn good actor.

I walked to the bathroom and began brushing my teeth. I need to just ignore this. I'm sure he might be thinking the same thing. Who am I really? Nothing…I'm just a girl. I am no one's girl. He's just a guy, a typical one at that.

I have Louis in my life now. And the best part is he wants to be in it too. Harry wants nothing to do with me. I need to stop giving him all these clues. It's confusing him and makes him think he's winning. But what? There's no prize here. I'm not claimed by anyone.

This is just high school drama heightened up, that's all. Like that show The Secret Life of the American Teenager, only least I know no one is pregnant. Debbie may have a few chances before she breaks that mold. No doubt Harry will work her too, after he's done with me. He will get tired of me, probably.

My phone beeped. I checked it and there was a picture of Louis smiling with his eyes closed in bed. How sweet. Underneath it says, "Dreaming of you, love. x"

I smiled, my heart warmed to the gesture. He made sense to me. Louis can always make me smile no matter what I'm feeling.

I couldn't take it anymore. I rang up his number and waited for an answer. Two rings…finally an answer.

"Louis?" I smiled into the phone.

"Hello, you ok love?" His voice sounded worried.

"Yeah, everything is ok. Thanks for the picture. I had to hear your voice. I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"You didn't babe. It's good to hear to you too. I know we saw each other today but I like hearing from you. You can call me any time."

I grabbed my heart, I knew it was racing and it felt good. I sat down on my bed. Yes, this is my bed. My life. My heart. My feelings. And I hope, my Louis.

I tried not to cry but I felt a lump in my voice. "Louis, thank you. After the day I had, you've been so amazing."

He laughed, god it was so wonderful to relax to that. I leaned back in my bed and listened to his beautiful and husky voice.

"No you're amazing. You know, it's a bit weird, we haven't even gone out but I feel so close to you already. I think it might have been all those times I kept an eye on you."

I giggled and turned on my stomach, feeling a bit flirty all of a sudden, extra girlie if you will. "You're nice to look at too. You're the only guy I watched all those years."

He sighed. "I wish I was there now, holding you, being near you. I really can't wait until tomorrow. I wish it was right now. I fancy you a lot Eva."

I heard the frustration in his voice and mirrored it. If only there was a way to make that happen. I was feeling so free now; Louis is like the only guy to get me feeling this way.

"Louis…"I breathed, my hands reached down to rub up and down my body. "Umm, are you there?"

He laughed. "What are you doing there? Continuing what we were doing in drama? Why start without me? That was inappropriate. And please wait for me before you start anything."

It's like he knew. If Louis Tomlinson could be in my bed at this very moment, consider me dying happy. I don't care what happens to me. That moment will be pure happiness. This is my Buffy and Angel moment. Actually it's more a Stefan and Elena. Hmm, I guess I am his Elena, if he wants to be my Stefan, god, I hope he does.

I'd give anything to touch him now. To find myself falling deeper and deeper into the shimmering blue pool of his eyes, sinking myself where I belong.

"I want you. I wish it was now too. Heh, maybe we should save it for tomorrow."

I heard him pretend to scoff and I smiled. "Oh come on, it just got good now. Naughty thoughts babe. You think them, say them out loud it encourages Louis."

"Sorry. Tomorrow." I tried to compose myself. "Save me that seat."

"Ugh, ok, I was hoping by me sounding so innocent and understanding you would give into me. I was so close. Dag nabbit!"

I laughed, sitting up in my bed. My eyes caught Harry through his window turning on his light, changing out of his clothes. He lifted his head and caught me staring. I turned back around.

"I'll see you tomorrow Louis. Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams Eva." He made a kiss noise in the phone, laughed and cleared his throat. "Goodnight love. I mean it."

"Goodnight you." I held the phone back and ended the line. I smiled into the phone; Louis was the person to bring a positive feeling instantly. I wanted to hold onto this for as long as I could.

I looked up and saw Harry, shirtless just wearing pants, picking up his phone checking it intently. I could see it from here. That determinate look came back. I turned my attention away and fell back onto my pillow, wow, I haven't blushed so much in my life. Louis...what I would do to that boy.

I glanced behind me, a piece of me wishes Harry was a part of it. Maybe in some odd way. But it's not worth such a second thought.

He doesn't think of me that way. He never will. I'm sure he has many other things on his mind than being with me.

---

Harry's POV

I just got off the phone with my best mate Mark back in Holmes Chapel and it just made me feel even more home sick. Why was I doing this to myself? Why can't I be happy here?

What was I doing here? I think it just hit me that I actually live in California. My mum was happy here, I tried to hide how I really felt before she went to bed.

She asked me point blank, if I like it here. I didn't know how to answer the question so I said what she wanted to hear. She was so thrilled to be anywhere but England. Anywhere but my dad and those fights about money or whatever else my mum was "doing wrong."

My Dad was too controlling for the entire family. It was his way or no way. I resented him for forcing mum to hold two full time jobs while trying to raise me and deal with me growing up. It got hostile only toward the end. He never was physical but he was verbal, sometimes that's worse when bruises heal faster than emotional cuts.

Anybody I know dealing with that stuff always turn out a mangled product of their environment. Am I anything like my dad? I'd say no, I am not. That is a strong no too. I couldn't do those things to someone I cared about and live with myself after. I'm not built that way. Mum brought me up to respect everyone and their boundaries.

I was a tough kid growing up but I didn't provoke any fights. I wasn't popular but at the same time I wasn't a loner. I managed to get along more or less with kids at my secondary school. John Adams is a different story. It's so shallow. The girls I sit with are the "leaders" supposedly. I barely pay attention to the hierarchy, I just want to fit in. I just want to matter. I want to forget about my life back home.

All the screaming and the verbose fighting. Endless worrying about bills and will dad insult mom again and again for not being on her game? I can't think of it any longer.

I walked over to my window, opening it further, letting the cool breeze wash over my worry. I didn't want to be consumed with this guilt anymore. It happened. People pick up and move on, don't they? Aren't I supposed to be grateful for all she's done for me? Instead I'm getting mad about everything.

Why? My head feels like mush. Deep breath Harry, deep fucking breath. It feels weird breathing in oxygen when all I want to breath is a fag. My elbows leaned on the edge and all I could think about is what it would feel like to fly. Just fly far away from everything. Be completely alone and anonymous. Few understand what you truly go through until you've been through the same situation.

Eva wouldn't understand; she couldn't possibly. She thinks of me as a prick and maybe that's a good thing. I can't let her examine what's going on in my head when I don't ever know myself.

But I do have to control my urges around her. Elena can't have this much control over my actions. I have to learn to not be so frustrated over our breakup. Eva didn't need that. Now that we're going to be spending a lot of time together I need to keep my hands to myself. Resist the need to run my hands through her beautiful dark hair, touching those full cheeks and kissing those plump, pink lips. Try not to look in those eyes of hers. I see Elena when it should be Eva. But it should be neither. No more distractions.

I can't think of her this way. It isn't right.

I looked straight ahead and noticed her lights being switched on. I saw Eva sit up in bed and watched her closely, backing away into the shadows of the room. I didn't want her to see me and get scared. She pulled her long hair around her neck and rock back and forth on the edge of the bed. What on Earth was she thinking about? She looked distressed.

I gotta stop watching her. This isn't helping anyone; it just makes me care about her even more. I can't get too wrapped in that.

She came closer to her window; I could make out the paleness in her cheeks. She went to close it halfway and stopped. She looked at my window, her eyes piercing a particular spot. Her eyes looked half awake. I wondered if she was sleepwalking.

"Harry." She whispered.

What? My mouth opened but I couldn't say it. She said my name again, leaning her head against the glass of the window, closing her eyes.

"I'm scared." She added. I swallowed hard.

I ducked under and climbed into bed, throwing the covers over my shivering body. Shutting my eyes, unable to hide the clear, salty drops of emotional truth.

"So am I."

Notes