Temptations

"Yes he fucking is De! It's true."

"Wait what? Slow down and say it again."

"Harry fucking Styles lives right next to me." I basically spat with annoyance. I knew my friend wouldn't get it like I did but this was big news.

De laughed on the other end of the line. Oh god, how could she think any of this is funny? "Dude, what's the big? You have an extremely hot exchange student living next to you. This is like ten thousand steps ahead of Debbie and the 'tard clan."

I wanted to tell her the real reason I'm freaking out but I don't know. I just didn't. It was too torrid. I felt a little embarrassed. I don't put out easily and she knows that.

"That's not the point De. Now it's going to be even harder to avoid him. I don't know how he's going to react when he finds out. Jesus this is a cluster fuck."

De sighed, that ugly deep exhalation she does when she's annoyed with me. "Stop stressing. It could be a good thing. Maybe someone actually good looking will be on our side for once. Hey…what if?"

"What if what?"

"What if you two hooked up and stuffed it back at the morons at school? Do you know what kind of slap in the face that would be to Debbie? Go along with it. What if he actually likes you?"

I narrowed my eyes and sat on my stomach on my bed. "You mean use him? I don't know. Come on, I don't know if he even likes me. British people are so unfeeling I don't even know where to start."

Not this one, I knew deep down. Maybe I had a inkling.

"Dude, the guy is charming. The entire school is already tweeting about him. If he really likes you it's a win-win. Don't be scared of him."

I'm not scared of him. I'm scared of my behavior if I'm near him. "I'm not scared. He doesn't think of me. Plus he's new and there's still a chance the eating disorders could snatch their Leigh press-on nails onto him before I could get his attention."

Harry Styles belonged with them, not me. It's just the way our school worked. No one questioned the rules and no one bothered to change them. People have made attempts but the plastic pushup bras always got their way. They own everyone and everything.

"You're freaking out over nothing. He'll be so proud to be with you. I would if I swung that way."

I laughed despite myself. Then I turned serious again. De was right. But then she doesn't know what we did. Could he though?

"You really think he might be into me? We barely, like, we never went out yet. I can't tell based on today."

De cleared her throat. "If he makes excuses to be around you, he fucking likes you. Also, if he waits to have sex with you."

I laughed really loud and nodded, it was mostly true. With Harry it was odd. It seemed like Harry was already heading to that direction with me. I wonder what that means. Then he has this other side to him that I just found out. The smoking-I-sorta-hate-my-life-side. Maybe Louis isn't the only sensitive guy out there.

Or in our neighborhood. Jesus, Harry is my neighbor. It's like a hot guy overload. I was shying under Louis for all those years now I have Harry to worry about.

Or did I? Who says I have to give him anymore attention? He doesn't own me. He isn't my boyfriend, he isn't my anything.

One day. Grow up; you're just a kid and so is he. Just one day of his kisses I could do without. It stops after today. Just because we have so many opportunities that may bring us together doesn't mean shit.

I'm still a badass. I still own my identity. I don't fall for guys and their charms. I look but don't touch. It's worked out for me since I was a freshman. I won't get distracted anymore.

I'll just avoid him using my Scorpio spy moves. It is after all the best sign of the zodiac. The only vice is it makes me highly jealous if I'm into someone. Thank god I'm not. I'm pretty determined when I want something. But I'm not going to worry anymore.

I told De I'll see her tomorrow morning and she mentioned that she can't come get me. I told her it was fine, I was going to walk to the stop. Maybe some walking will do me good, get some much needed oxygen up there so I can think clearly. After the day I had, I still can't believe a lot of it really happened.

First day synopsis: I could honestly say it wasn't hella boring. Louis flirted with me a bit and kinda stalked me which was what I secretly wanted him to do. Now if only he'd show more interest, I'd melt for him. Harry was a minor fallout. We have many things that will bring us together so I just have to get really good acting skills when it comes to being near him. Leave early for school so he doesn't see, sit far away in all the classes I have with him and stare in the opposite direction if we both happen to meet at our lockers; stuff like that.

Still, I sighed. Seeing that image of him wiping the corner of his eyes, why did it crack my heart? And the way he kissed me, it wasn't rough or even rushed. He took his time. At one point I opened my eyes and saw his were closed so tight. He didn't hide the passion when he kissed me. It got more intense the longer we did it. Aside from just knowing his name and the accent, it's just odd how good it felt. How well he fit. I found myself struggling to pull away and felt cold when I did.

I couldn't tell him that, boys in high school aren't that deep, maybe as deep as a bird bath and that's it. Brain hurts. Stop doing this to yourself Evie. He isn't worth it. No, no, no!

I groaned not believing a word of it. He kisses like an angel. I got dizzy the last time and nearly fell over when I tried to get away. I just want to bury this already. Ignore Harry, make fun of school, lampoon "the fatties" and enjoy being anonymous. And possibly go down on Louis. I smiled at the thought of it.

I think I have the lips for it. Knowing guys that's something a guy will never tell you to stop doing: blow jobs. Hell even if the world was ending and they haven't popped a load in 2 days it's irrefutable. It's that fucking important. No matter how small their wiener could be.

I took off my robe since I was feeling a bit hot and put on my loose PJ pants and matching pink top. I couldn't help but go over the events of today. I knew it was only 9pm but I wanted to wake up early tomorrow.

And steer far away from Harry Styles as I can.

Notes