The Sass Account

Charlie's POV

I rubbed my eyes, my mood changed suddenly and I didn't like it.

First this guy Troy Austin, the gayest name ever, followed me on Twitter out of nowhere, now it's passed 1am and he sent me a tweet.

Have I been spotted? Shit. Suddenly, take cover seems more like an option now. Who is this bastard? His tweet was hysterical actually. In that: what-the-fuck-are-you-talking-about-how-do-you-know-me way. Sassy dude. Least I think it's a guy. Might be a queer, his title says "Guy Directioner." It may be a close call here.

And I was doing fairly decent too. I just finished harassing Louis tonight, like fuck he'll read it, don't really care anyway. He's probably curled up to whatever current VD he's got in his boudoir. I happen to be online when he is, how cute? It's like we think the same. We're definitely gonna get married now. Fuck, I'd sooner walk into traffic high on a coke binge then be caught anywhere near his skulking ass. And what an ass it is. I could use it as an ottoman cushion.

This Troy guy has to be gay. He's a fan of 1D, probably sulking with emo hair, I know it. I looked at his icon.

Garden State.

I like this movie. Fuck. I scowled.

Ok that must be his emo side coming through, assuming it's a dude and not a guy who just had a sex change. No Chaz Bono's here please. Holy shit. I think I am assuming way too much right now. It could be just a joke.

After I sent that very nice, honest tweet to Luigi Tommo, this guy comes back and fucking says, well, here's what he fucking said…

@TroyAustin1D come on now, famous people can still find a good snog. Fairies don't know everything :)

Oh. My. Lanta. Uh, ok, I have a fairy in my icon picture, my choice, why show my face when being anonymous is way more fun? This guy is trying to corner me with grandiose wit. There's no fucking way I'm letting this might-be-gay-jerks-to-Louis-before-bed throw the crown off the wit train.

I'm married to that title. It's what I am. It's all I've got left.

@CharNCharge fairies know a lot more about a famous fairy than a Guy Directioner. Go fuck yourself :P XD

I thought I was out of the woods. I placed my phone back on the charger. I walked to the fridge, grabbing a chilled water, chugging it profusely. The icy liquid trickled down my throat. Though it backfired, it started to sting going down.

My phone beeped. Now I was fully awake. I grabbed a beer and took my phone in my hand angrily sitting inside my covers.

@TroyAustin1D if I could we wouldn't be talking…famous people have feelings too yanno? :P

Huh? Alright now it's personal. I had half a mind to block this fucktard the second he followed me. Assuming it's still a guy. I really wanted to know who this guy is and how the fuck did he find me, instead I tweeted…

@CharNCharge famous people aren't real, they think they are. You wouldn't know, you're normal…

I threw my phone on the comforter and opened the cold beer. What the fuck? I don't normally drink at this hour but I didn't care. What gives this guy the gull to defend someone as privileged as Louis Tomlinson? I am seriously stomped on why anyone would waste any time. There are better things to do, like, walk around in a circle.

The beep came back as my screen lit the darkness in the room. Gah. I took a long swig nearly downing half of the bottle. Who is this fucker?

I bit my lip, my brows twitching; I could feel my stomach turn as I read the new mention from this jackass Troy.

@TroyAustin1D everybody's real. Does anyone care to find out for sure? My guess is no right?
What? I typed a response in a furry.

@CharNCharge why do you care what I think? Let Louis ask me himself, if he even talks to anyone except famous assholes!

I was so mad when I tweeted that I couldn't think straight.

His next tweet surprised me.

@TroyAustin1D he does, and I care because famous assholes are worthless to rely on…I care because I want to…

But you're just a fan? What the fuck is going on now? This Troy guy was sounding a wee bit crazy. Maybe it was binge drinking night for him and he was just bored, that's why he followed me. Worthless excuse but it still washed. Ugh, this guy is relentless. I typed up a tweet, even though I really should ignore him now.

@CharNCharge you're just a fan, Louis doesn't care about his fans, neither does anyone else in that faggot band! Stop defending him!

That ought to show him. Oh no, phone vibrated, he came back.

AT TroyAustin1D why do you hate someone you don't know?

What?! OK, who is this guy? Did someone break his heart? Did he lose a promotion because he didn't suck enough cock? Wow…this jack off is really pushing my last nerve. I finished the rest of the bottle and opened the another next to me.

@CharNCharge look, Troy is it? You really need to lay off this. I'm allowed to say how I feel. The truth hurts sometimes, I know, not my problem.

AT TroyAustin1D you didn't answer my question. Why do you hate Louis Tomlinson? Have you met him?

God no. I wouldn't care to be around that much faggy mediocrity.

@CharNCharge only in my nightmares. I don't need to meet a dick to know how much of a dick it is.

I smiled drinking a big gulp of my beer, letting the chill slide down my throat. The cold burn of the alcohol buzzing in my head, making me dizzy suddenly.

Shit, can't fall asleep now.

My thoughts are getting the better of me. Why did this loser prick care so much what I thought? He's just a gay jack off just like Louis.

I am tired of these faggot fans digging under my skin. I'm mad at myself for letting it get to me. Fuck. Why was he being so straight forward? Why the hell was he following me? Just to fucking argue with me?

You'd think he himself was Jack McFarland himself, Mr. Tomlinson. But that's impossible. I'm not famous, not verified and not even close to being a fan.

Before I could stop myself I grabbed my phone. Figures, he fucking responded.

@TroyAustin1D yes you do. You can only judge someone when you know them personally. Truth hurts, right babe?

Babe? Babe?! Mother fucking asshole. How dare he go there and actually call me a rape term. I was seething with anger; the next few words I tweeted were beyond my control.

@CharNCharge I hate Louis because he deserves it. He deserves a bad day every day of his pitiful life. FUCK OFF NOW

I sent the tweet. I need to blow off some steam. Jesus. This guy…I feel like throwing up everything I consumed today. What the fuck? Why is this grade A douche nozzle getting the better of me? I have never felt a rage as I do right now. Was this a fucking prank? Cuz if it is then it's over…

This guy literally came out of left field. Did he honestly think he was going to win here? He didn't know me and I sure as fuck didn't care to know him. I don't need to know Louis personally to fucking decide if I should write fan fiction about him or hate him in peace. The second one is working fine for me. No fucking doubt about it. Until now…

Why the fuck did what he just said before make a ton of sense?

I checked my phone, the bottle dropping from my hands but I ignored it. I stared blankly at the screen.

15 minutes had gone by…

No mentions. No reply. Nothing.

Notes