27 Tattoos

“Hello, I believe your name is (Y/N). Is that true?” A middle-aged woman asked you. You were in the car park of the cemetery; it was the day of his funeral. You couldn’t say his name; it just brought you too much pain. She looked just like someone, but you couldn’t put your finger on it.

“Uhm, yes. It’s true.” You say, completely oblivious to why the woman was asking you this. Before you even realised what was going on, the woman pulled you in for a hug, you could feel a few tears on the back of your neck.

“Thank you.” She whispered, pulling away.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand. What have I done?” You ask.

“Oh my, forgive me. I never introduced myself. I’m Anne, Harry’s mum.” She said, wiping her tears. Your chest tightened at the sound of his name and a dry lump formed in your throat. “I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean to upset you.” She says, worriedly.

“No, it’s fine. I just haven’t really used his name since then.” You put on a fake smile as you were breaking on the inside.

“I’ve heard a lot about you off him. He got in contact with me for the first time in years and he said it was because you changed him. He never stopped talking about you; he really did love you, (Y/N). So, thank you.” She smiles, tears in her eyes.

“I-I just really m-miss him.” You stutter, looking up at her with tear filled eyes. She pulls you back in for another hug.

“C’mon, sweetie. We don’t want to be late.”

You stand around the grave; it was just a hole right now, no coffin. Harry’s coffin was at the side, his lifeless body lain in the casket. When they started to lower the coffin into the ground, for you it felt like only now had he just died. Only now was he leaving, he was being put under the ground. It felt like a piece of you died with him that night, you couldn’t help but blame yourself. If you hadn’t had a fight with your mother, you never would have been by the black fox. Looking around, you see: Zayn, Perrie, Louis, Niall, Liam, Dani, Eleanor, Anne and a girl who you assumed to be Harry’s sister. You shoot them a half-hearted smile, your eyes glossy making it hard to see. Just like that, the coffin was in the ground, he was completely gone.

“(Y/N)? Do you want to say something?” Louis asks and your head snaps up.

“Oh, uhm… O-Okay.” You say nervously.

“Well, when Harry said that I changed him for the better, I didn’t think he realised that he also changed me for the better. I only knew Harry for a matter of months, but in those months, my life got so much better. I remember all those times I pushed him away, but he wouldn’t go. I’m thankful for that. I’m thankful that he didn’t give up on me. I expected the worst from him, I expected him to be a gang leader, nothing more, nothing less. But what I never expected was to fall in love with him. I don’t understand how it happened. How I could of fallen for someone, so hard, so fast, but I did. It’s weird because everyone told me to stay away from him, that he was trouble, but he made my life so much better. I loved him, I still do love him and I’ll love him endlessly. I still can’t believe that he’s gone; I guess I’m still coming to terms with it. I keep expecting him to tap me on the shoulder and I’ll turn around, my gaze meeting his. I keep expecting him to come out with a dirty joke that he’d laugh at and end up smirking. I keep expecting him to knock on my window, bribing me to sneak out with him. I keep expecting to feel his presence next to me when I sleep, his voice soothing me. I keep expecting his kisses. I keep expecting him to be there, and he’s not. He never will be. Like I said, I’m still coming to terms with it and I will be for the rest of my life.” You break down, crying into Niall’s shoulder.

“Shhh… It’s okay.” He soothes, stroking your hair. Niall told you how Harry had died. Stan was about to shoot Niall, but Harry yanked Stan’s arm away, and he ended up shooting him. Harry died saving Niall’s life. You look up to see everyone in tears, you walk over to Anne.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” You mumble, looking at her in the eyes.

“I’m sorry for yours, my dear. A mother’s love is unconditional; I would do anything for Harry. But I can see now, that your love for my son is greater than that. I’ve never seen a love like that.” She says, her voice breaking.

“I just keep thinking that I’m going to turn around and he’ll be there, but he won’t.” You cry, looking into her eyes as a dry lump forms in your throat.

“It's hard to wait around for something you know will never happen, but it's even harder to give up when it's everything you want.”

THE END