The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind


Violet


As soon as I returned to the dorms, I was exceptionally eager to plunge straight into my studies. Mrs. Greenwich's comprehensive test was at the end of the week, and I had to start creating a study guide. Once I changed out of my skirt and got comfortable in my pajamas bottoms, I flopped back on the duvet and began to review units one through four of my Chemistry textbook. Particle motion, temperature, volume--I read it all.

However, despite my hard concentration and efforts to relearn the differences between a compound and mixture, somewhere along the lines of reading about gas law and pressure did I allow my mind to conjure up the more appealing image of Harry's protruding muscles underneath the fabric of his white Sex Pistols t-shirt. The way I remembered his triceps flexing when he wiped down those shot glasses was enough to pick up my intake of oxygen as I captured my bottom lip with my teeth. Focus Violet. Your test is at the end of the week. You need to pass. I reminded myself, shaking the picture out from my head and resuming the reading of Avogadro's theorem.

Why was I even thinking about the Devil anyway when he had the audacity to say that I was the one who craved attention and wanted him to lust after me? Maybe I did want some recognition but certainly not from him. Hugo was the man whom I desired to give me more than a second look.

We were messaging each other back and forth throughout the day when he asked if I was doing anything later in the night. I told him I didn't have any plans, and then he invited me to come hang out at The Dead Poet. I had no idea Harry worked there, and since I was there for Hugo, it made me remarkably furious that I hardly got to spend anytime with him. Before my brain could choose something else to reflect on, my roommate entered our dorm in a haste and slammed the door shut with a loud bang, the vibrations disrupting my thought process.


“Oh, hey Esther.” I flashed a smile in her direction. “I didn't realize you'd be here tonight. Would you mind quizzing me on compounds and mixtures? I wasn't able to get through much of this flimsy textbook, but…” I stopped in the middle of my sentence when I noticed her hyperventilating. “Hey, you alright? You don't sound too good.” I observed whilst standing up from the bed, cautiously approaching her. When I was close enough, I reached out to touch her shoulder, but Esther jerked away from my hand and raced over to her twin bed, burying her face in the sheets.


The first time she attempted to have a conversation with me, the majority of her words came out inaudibly. “Violet, I - mmmh mh mmh mmmh advice,” Was literally all I understood.

“Um, okay,” I hesitantly agreed to whatever she said while walking to sit at the edge of the bed.

Esther slightly lifted up her head from the sheets to lean on her elbows, allowing me to hear her better. “W-what would you do if you got hurt by someone you love but were too scared to tell anyone else about it?” she asked softly.

“Personally, I would get over that fear and then blab to someone I could trust. Why? What's gotten into you, Bixby?” I laughed as I watched her fully sit up.


The female's hair was a disheveled mess of brown waves cleverly styled in a way to hide the characteristics of her face, but when she brushed a few locks behind her ear, I nearly choked on the air. Her right eye was swollen and puffy-looking, and her nostrils flared with dry blood underneath them; someone had beaten her to a pulp.


“Esther, who did this to you?” I inquired, trying my best to keep a calm composure for her sake.

“Do y-you remember that bracelet you gave me because I thought I lost mine?” she searched my eyes for an answer. I nodded my head and watched her nervously bite her busted lip. “Well, I gave it to my boyfriend to sell. But he didn’t get all the money he wanted for it so…”

“So he fucking hit you?!” I shouted in disbelief.

“Lower your voice. I know it looks bad, but Rodney never meant to hurt me,” Esther insisted.

“Do you honestly expect me to believe that crap? No woman should ever have to put up with such bullshit!” I exclaimed. “You do know that this means you have to tell the dean and press charges, right?”

“No, I can't do that. This was a one time thing. I know he'd never hurt me again. Promise me you won't tell anyone, Violet,” she begged, “Please!”

I crossed my arms, a frown gracing my lips as I pondered over how she could still love this man after being assaulted like that. The stress of studying and now of keeping secrets was beginning to take a mental toll on my mind. I had to find a way to escape it all, just for a little while, so I could think clearly.“I need--I need to get some fresh air. This is just too much for one night,” I confessed while getting up from the mattress. I threw on my old Cambridge jumper and slid into a pair of Toms before distancing myself as far as my feet would carry me away from Esther and our cabin. There was no looking back, only moving forward.


Harry


After closing the bar I decided to begin my quest for Violet’s dorm. Our school kept a folder containing files on students who checked out materials from the campus library, including their address and date of birth, in the dorm catalogue, and I knew for a fact that Violet borrowed her Chemistry textbook; the university's sticker at the bottom left hand corner was my confirmation.

When I reached the main entrance to the library, I took a quick cursory from the outside and spotted only a few people studying in the lounge. Comprehensive tests. I thought to myself. Our professors love giving them out way too much. I entered the library through the revolving doors and searched the checkout and return center for the dorm catalog. Once the librarian informed me she last saw the book in the quiet commons, I sighed and headed in that direction. But as soon as I turned around, somebody crashed into me, and we both tumbled to the floor, falling flat on our arses. I grunted from the impact but slowly rose to my feet and offered the girl who got knocked down my hand and helped her up, softly sighing.


“Isn’t it about time that we stop running into each other like this, Violet?” I groaned, rubbing my sore backside.

She frowned at my words and stood up straighter. “Leave me alone, Harry. I don't need to be bothered with you or your bloody antics,” Violet scoffed.

“Ouch. Little red’s got flare,” I teased her as she bent over to pick up the book that landed on the floor. When she turned it over, I noticed the log sheets peeking out were from the dorm catalogue, so I snatched it from her grasp and held it up in the air. Just what I needed.

“How cliche, Styles. You’re picking on a shorter girl and holding her book high enough to the point where she can no longer reach it. Such churlish behavior.” She rolled her green eyes.

“I beg to differ Ms. Rivers, but you’re the one complaining about something that doesn't belong to you,” I stated.

“Whatever. I’m not in the mood for this for this. Just give me the book, so I can return it and be on my way.” The woman tried to reach for the catalogue again, but I held it up even higher, making her slap my shoulder in protest.

“Bloody hell, woman. What's the matter with you?” I snapped. Violet glared at me and then immediately looked down at the floor, biting her lip.

“Forget it. I’m going back to my cabin,” She huffed, bumping past me to walk toward the doors, but before she could take another step, I grabbed her arm, causing her to stop in her tracks. “Please, Harry. I-”

I spun the girl around to face me and brought her into my side as I travelled to the front desk where I dropped off the catalogue. To my surprise she didn't protest, but on our way out of the building, little red somehow managed to break away from my grip and walk ahead of me. “Hey, wait up. I was going to walk you home,” I called.

“Why would you want to do that?” So I can see where you live. I thought inside my head. “I'm a big girl who is perfectly capable of taking care of herself,” she whispered softly, “But, nevertheless, you may do whatever you please. I couldn't care less.” I welcomed her invitation for me to accompany her with a cheeky grin, dimples prominent in my smile.

“So...” I dragged out the word, “When are you going to tell me about what’s been bothering you?” I cleared my throat with a cough, and she sighed.

“Do I have to talk about it?” Violet frowned, but I gave her hand an encouraging squeeze for reassurance as the dorm rooms came into view. “I-I don't even know where to begin. Everything is just suddenly becoming so overwhelming. It's only my first week here, and I'm already under more stress than I was at Cambridge,” She admitted.

I let out a deep sigh before explaining, “That's just because you haven't had enough time to properly adjust yet. Besides, why the hell would you trade Cambridge University for this dump? Trust me. If I could afford to go to a better college, I would.”

“Really now? Hmm. Okay, Harry.” She nodded her head in approval, a giggle escaping her mouth. I shrugged my shoulders, attempting to be coy with my actions.


At first, when we finally approached Hussy cabin, I decided against asking her to go inside because she seemed tired, and I didn’t want to interfere with her studies. But I couldn't help but notice how pale her face became when we reached the door. Maybe she wanted some company.

“So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?” I asked, nervously scratching the back of my neck.

“Yeah, tomorrow,” Violet assured me as she unlocked the door, glancing back at me over her shoulder.

In that moment, our eyes met in one last gaze, and I felt the cells of my brain becoming dazed. I reflected on what we had been through tonight as I smiled at her, and she told me goodnight. But I don’t want to say goodbye. No, not just yet. I hesitantly pushed my hand up against the frame of the door, preventing it from being closed. Then the words came pouring out of my mouth before I could stop them, “I…I don’t think that I should leave just yet.”

“Well, then, where would you go?” she asked, seemingly confused.

“Do you, uh, think you could invite me inside? Unless, of course, Hugo is already in there...” I trailed off.

“Hugo? Why would you think he'd be in my dorm?” Violet questioned, eyebrows furrowed together.

“I don’t know. You two were getting pretty close tonight and-”

“But there is nothing going on between us,” She interrupted me. “Despite that, I hardly know either of you well enough to invite you guys into my dorm.” I opened my mouth to say something back, but she shook her head, “Listen, Harry. It's late, and I’m tired. I'll see you tomorrow, alright? Goodnight.” That was the last thing Violet said to me before shutting the door.

Notes

Chapter from me.
And just to be clear on something, M and I do not support abusive relationships. It is not a joking matter, and if you are in an abusive relationship you should really do something and stand up for yourself.
Here is a link to give you some advice: If You Are Abused

But, I hope you enjoyed this chapter :) All the love -K. xx

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