I was always an unusual girl


Violet


My hands were clasped together on my lap as I patiently waited for Doctor Stevens to bring my mother back into the lounge. Apparently, she refused to take her medication before my arrival and needed to be escorted into the head nurse’s office. In her absence, however, I discovered that now was the perfect time to soak in my surroundings.

There were exactly two security cameras located next to the exit sign, angled to face the side of the room with the tables and chairs, and two others in the front of the room which covered the entire facility. I suppose the mass surveillance is the staff’s only way of keeping an eye on the patients in case they need to intervene; despite understanding this, however, a part of me still feels uncomfortable with the idea of men in white coats sitting behind a computer screen and watching my every move until I make the wrong one.

When Doctor Stevens returned with my mother by his side, I noticed how quiet the room became. The lack of communication going on between the other patients had confused me, so I looked up from the newspaper I began reading into a pair of jaded eyes that were almost identical to my own. Who did they belong to? None other than Susan B. Rivers.


“I apologize for the long wait Violet. Susan here put up quite the fight back in the nurse’s room,” The doctor informed me while nudging my mother forward. “I hope you enjoy the time that's left of your visitation.”

“Thank you, doctor. I'm sure I will.” I nodded curtly.


I heard a scoff leave my mother’s lips and watched her eyes roll once Doctor Stevens was no longer in her presence. Her entire demeanor transformed in a matter of seconds. She pulled out a chair from the table I was sitting at and plopped down onto the seat.


“Now, what is it you want dear?” My mother sighed, pursing her chapped lips. “I haven't got all day.”

“I'm sorry. I don't want to take up too much of your time. I just wanted to see how you were doing is all,” I admitted, trying to relieve some of the tension in the air. “Besides, I heard from Uncle Aaron that you were—” My breath hitched in my throat when I saw her fist bang down on the table separating the two of us.


Shit. What did I do?


“Don't you ever...mention that bastard’s name in my presence again,” Mother hissed, pointing her index finger in my face. “So the devil himself sent you to spy, huh? Well, you and your uncle can both rot in the pits of hell.“

“Mother, listen to me,” I said sternly. “I'm not here to spy on you. I–I just really missed you,” My voice cracked with the confession. “Not everyone in your life is out to get you...” I tried to reason with her, but my efforts were fruitless.

“Stop lying to me, Violet. I know you think I'm fucking crazy,” she spat harshly, “Everyone in this hellhole does.”

I shook my head. “No, I don't. I'm only concerned for your health. We all are,” I insisted even though my subconscious suggested otherwise. “You need to keep taking your meds, mom. I hate seeing you like this.”

“Why don't you just leave then? I can't bear to look at your face anymore.”

“Jesus Christ! I'm not leaving. I went through hell to come see you, mother. The least you can do is—”

“Go away!” she shouted at me in a voice I've never heard her use before. “Leave here and don't bother coming back!”


Realization hit me right then like a wrecking ball crashing through a ton of bricks. No matter how much I wished it wasn't true, it was clear to me now that the woman sitting across from me was not the same person who used to stay in my bedroom at night just to read me past times, nor was she the woman my father once was so madly in love with. She was a lost and angry soul, and somehow I managed to convince myself that the reason she was like this was my fault; I neglected to see her enough.

I bit my bottom lip to fight back the tears that were beginning to cloud my vision and ran a shaky hand through my hair.


“I'll be back tomorrow,” I promised her as I gathered my belongings and pushed myself away from the table.

“If you know what's good for you, then you won't,” Mother advised.

---

Re: Shakespeare’s Macbeth
______
To: Anderson Fletcher
From: Violet Rivers
______

Dear Professor Fletcher,

I will not be in class Monday morning, so I am sending you my essay via email. I hope this digital version will suffice. The attachment is below.

Sincerely,

Violet Rivers


Once I was satisfied with my response, I hit send and tossed my phone onto the duvet. A sigh parted my lips as I contemplated how to spend the rest of my evening in this crappy motel. My thoughts led me to the other side of the room where I absentmindedly picked up the remote control off of the dresser and turned on the telly. I scrolled through the different channels until I landed on adult swim. They always aired the funniest shows on late night television.

When the commercial break ended, I was relieved to see the main characters of Venture Brothers appear on the screen. It had been awhile since I last saw an episode, but I was more than ready to dive back into the unpredictable lives of Hank and Dean Venture—two well-meaning but incompetent teenagers whom I love dearly. This was the only American television show I enjoyed watching as a teenager.


The time had to be around twelve or so when I first felt my phone vibrate next to me on the sheets but chose to dismiss it because the marathon of Venture Bros was coming to an end, and I didn't want to miss any minute of it. The second time the cellular device rang, however, I decided to look at the caller ID to see if the person calling was worth answering.

With an frustrated sigh, I muted the voices of Hank and Dean using the remote control and slid my thumb across the phone screen to accept the call. “Hello, Harry...” I said into the speaker, waiting for a response.

“Hey, Violet. This isn't Harry. It's, um, me...Hugo. I'm sorry I called you so late. I just wanted to see how you were doing.” The sense of concern laced in his voice made the corner of my lips turn up in a smile, knowing he cared for my well-being as I did for his. “My battery died after work, so I'm using Harry’s phone. Again, I apologize for bothering you if I did.”

“No, you didn't. I actually want to thank you for calling,” I confessed. “It's been a long day.”


Ever since the whole incident with my mother went down, I've been wallowing in my own self-pity. It wasn't so much as her words but the bitterness in her tone of her voice that really bothered me this time. I used to lie awake on my bed at night and daydream of having a normal relationship with my mother despite how unrealistic I know that is. I just figured it'd be nice to have someone to talk to in moments where I felt so confused about life and my purpose in it, but I guess that's what religion is for.


“Do you want to talk about it?” Hugo kindly offered. “I've got enough caffeine in my bloodstream to last me until morning.”

I shook my head but then remembered he couldn't see me, so I cleared my throat to make up for the silence. “I don't know...I wouldn't want you to be wasting your time.”

“Hey, even a single second spent talking to you, Violet, is worth my while,” He assured me. God, every single word that had ever come out of his mouth so far was like poetry, and I loved the heart warming feeling it gave me inside. “Now, tell me what has been troubling you.”

I was reluctant to at first but, nevertheless, complied to his request and let him spend half an hour listening to my garrulous speech about my estranged relationship with my mother and miserable childhood. I told him how the kids used to make fun of me in primary school whenever their parents learned of my mother’s crazy episodes and decided to pass along the information to their children—not that they could help themselves anyway.


Flashback


‘Look, it's that weird girl with the lunatic mother. My father told me her mom threaten to mop the floor with the school principle at a parent conference. Security had to throw her out of the main office and everything. That's crazy, right?” The kids whispered amongst each other as they passed me in the schoolyard. I couldn't help but frown.

I had a name, which I'm sure they knew, but their words almost made me feel nonexistent, like the only thing I'd ever be remembered as was the ‘weird girl with the crazy mom,’ and that's what hurt the most; my mother and I were so much more than our labels.


End of Flashback


For the rest of our conversation, Hugo didn't judge me when he found out my mother lived in an asylum, and he didn't laugh when I casually admitted my childhood fear of sleeping alone. All he did was listen, and that’s everything I could have hoped for.


“My gosh that sounds hellish. I'm sorry they treated you so poorly, Violet. You deserved much better.”

“It's okay. Well, actually their behavior isn't okay, but I'm trying to put it behind me. I just hope those people have grown up like I have.” I shrugged, feeling relieved that I was able to confide in someone about this.

“Me too,” Hugo agreed. “I'm so glad you opened up to me about your past. You have nothing to be ashamed of,” He added.

“I know, and thank you for listening. I was afraid my story would scare you off,” I half heartedly joked.

“That's ridiculous. If anything, I feel more magnetized to you than before.”


His words made my face heat up as a blush forcefully crashed onto my skin and colored my cheeks, but they also gave me the confidence I needed to ask him something I've wanted to for awhile now. “So then...what do you say we meet up when I come back to town over some lunch? You can even bring your camera to take photographs if you like.”

“Violet Rivers, are you asking me out on a date?” he playfully mused.

“Yes, I believe I am,” I replied with the utmost confidence.

“Hmm...I dunno. I'm gonna need some time to think about it.” Hugo sighed.


The uncertainty that lingered between us drained all of the color from my face and made me want to drown in my own pool of embarrassment until he said what he had to say next.


“Just kidding. I'm only teasing, love. It would bring me great pleasure to be your date. If you give me a time and place, I promise you that I'll be there,” he reassured me.

“Who knew you were quite the little joker, hmm?” I chuckled, and he did too. “I'll let you know all of the details soon, okay?”

“Okay, take your time. I honestly can't wa—”


Before Hugo was able to finish saying the word ‘wait,’ the phone line mysteriously got disconnected, and Harry sent me a text saying that his battery was about to die a few minutes later. A strange feeling told me, however, that this little story of his was far from the truth, but I decided not to give it a second thought because I wouldn't let anything ruin this moment; for a short amount of time, everything was perfect.

Notes

It took me forever to update this story, I know. SAT prep has occupied a lot more of my time than I thought it would, but that's no excuse. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Your comments and votes motivate me to keep going so thank you so much to those of you who continue to stick with me! I've lost quite a few subscribers, but readers come and go.

The italicized line at the very top is a quote from Lana del Rey by the way in case you wanted to k :)

Love
—M