Coming Home

H.P.O.V

And on this day I saw you smile brighter than the sun.

We were rushing. I knew that completely. We weren't sure if this was the best, if it even was the right decision. It had been a messy choice filled with more excitement than a child on Christmas morning.
It was our decision and if it turned out to be a mistake...heaven knows it'd be our mistake.

It'll be the best mistake I will ever make.

It had been perfect. It had been private(God knows how hard that is for me), it had been intimate, it had been exactly What the stories described, and every tiny girl would dream of. She had sparkled. Fuck, she had been perfect all dressed in white (well, almost completely in white).

I was a wreck all morning. I couldn't eat, I forgot where I had packed my shoes and only after calling Harvey had I been able to relax my hands enough to comb through my hair.

"I can't believe we're doing this Harvey. Like, I'm not about to regret it, fuck, this is all I have ever wanted since I saw her, but what if she hates it. What if it's not enough and it's too simple--"

"Harry!" Harvey cries through the phone, exasperated with my rambling. "You need a drink and maybe a slap across your face. Relax kid, I've already had to calm Presley--"

My breath hitches, "What do you mean you had to calm her down?! Does she not want to--"

"She does, holly shit, Harry. Breathe it's just nerves. This is normal, she's fine, ready to do this. Believe me, I already tried to talk her out of this but she's dead set on becoming yours today."

I choose to ignore the part where he tried to talk her out of it and let myself relax and my shoulders droop at the other part. "What if it's not enough," I mumble softly.

What if a court wedding isn't enough, what if she hates this. She deserves a wedding with a dress that is entirely too much dress, and flowers. Bunches and bunches of flowers. A cake she tears up over, and a ring that sparkles just as bright as her eyes (I don't think that'll ever be possible, or that something like that will ever exist.)

She deserves it all, and I don't know if this is enough.

"Harvey, I need her happy. What if this simple ceremony isn't enough? What if I'm not enough?"

"Maybe you aren't," Harvey says clearly. "But that's why you're marrying her, Harry. No one ever thinks they're enough, but the right people will always do their best to prove they are. That they are worthy of their person. And if it's the right person they'll already think you're everything and more."

I sigh and nod even though he can't see me. "Do you think we're the right people?"

"Do you?"

And my answer is immediate. It is the only thing that I have ever been sure of.

"Yes."

Wanting her had been easy and natural for me. Like putting on my favorite jumper. She had become all I know, she had become every desire, need, every birthday and Christmas wish. She became mine, and I had always been hers.

"Do you think we'll make it," I ask her stroking her back. "Do you think we'll actually be the lucky ones who stay together forever?"

Her eyes had gone soft, and her shoulders shrugged against me. "I think I love you, and you love me. That alone makes us lucky." She leans up and presses a delicate kiss on my cheek, smiling with her pink lips.

"I get scared sometimes," or every time I'm away and my head starts to play out all of the possibilities of her leaving. Of me getting that awful message where she ends it because she's found someone who actually deserves her. Someone who is everything I'm not or could ever be. "I get these dreams when you're not with me some nights. Those are the nights I wake you up because I need to hear you." She nods and I don't see resentment or annoyance in her eyes.

All I see is her and she is beautiful.

"You don't ever have to be afraid," her tone is adamant and all I can do is believe her. And I do. I really do. "And even if you are it's okay because I'm scared too." She shrugs again this time her eyes casted down. "You're the first boy I've ever loved, and I think you'll be the only boy I'll ever love. I don't know how I know that, I just do and it scares me."

That was the moment I knew it was real. That my feelings weren't just a phase, or that we were only destined to be temporary memories in our lives. This is the moment I knew every girl would be insignificant and not enough. That she'd be the only one, that she was my person.

I look up into her eyes and wonder when they got to be so captivating. When they gained the ability to keep me hostage.

"You're home," I promise. "You're it and I'm always going to come home."

I only left for a little while, and when I did come back it wasn't easy. She had been roughed up, and I had grown stupid. We were both loosing and only managed to find ourselves within each other.

She's sleeping next to me right now. Her head is nuzzled in the crook of my neck and her arm is draped over my waist. She's soft and her hair smells clean and sweet from our shower.

She looks different to me tonight and I think it's the ring on her finger that is the reason. I think it's the matching one on mine that is also adding to it. I want to keep her warm and at the same time I want to look at her in the dim lighting. I want to hold her close and hope our hearts beat the same pattern.

I wonder if she feels safe with me? If sometimes she also is taken back by the force of her feelings? I wonder if she knows I love her so much I'm willing to leave everything behind, that I'll give everything and everyone up just to see her happy and close to me.

I'm in love and it feels warm.

Her body pressed against mine is happiness. She's joy and her eyes are stars.

She reaches me and takes my hand, her eyes starring intently at me. She looks like my dream. She's perfect.

If there was one thing we wouldn't skip, it was our vows. It was my turn first, and I don't think I'll ever find enough words to explain what she means to me. It's like explaining why water is wet. It's impossible and I don't think I'll ever get tired trying to explain it.

I take her hand and with my thumb I rub shapes on the top of hers. She seems to relax at the gesture making my smile grow and my excitement bloom in full force.

"I never knew what love was." I start slowly. I want this to last. I want her to believe my every word. "I didn't know how it felt to be in love until I met you. You and your wide, brown eyes, and long hair." She was this incredible human being that made me nervous. That made me happier than anyone ever would."I think that was when I figured out what love looked like, and maybe--," I lick my lips and try my best to remember how to breathe. "Maybe love looks like you. Maybe it's your smile, and the face you make when you're happy. Maybe it's the beauty mark on your arm, and the way your heart beats with mine. Love looks like you because it is you." Because it's always been her. It was always simple. "It's always been you. You and your gentle heart and soft personality. The way you protect and defend me. The way you laugh, and hold my hand. I think you're love. You're my love. You're my tiny piece of heaven, the only reason I know what it's like to love and be loved. You're mine and everyone knows I've always been yours, and I'll keep being yours here and on the other side."

The man in the middle nods excitedly and motions for Presley to begin. She looks up at me, her free arm hanging by her side as she keeps her hand in mine.

"Harry, the only Hazard to my heart." I remember when she first called me that. It had been during a fight. She was frazzled and upset. She let the name slip, explaining that I was the only reason her heart ever hurt, or that she was worried. That I was the greatest hazard she'd ever face and that was the reason she'd never give up on me. I'll never give up on her either. "I love you. I love you in the mornings when you're annoyed that you have to get up. I love you in the middle of the day when you call me complaining, and I love you at night when you wake me up after you've had a nightmare. I love the lines that form around your mouth when you smile and laugh. I love our shared secrets and our special details that we'll never share." It may seem selfish to keep those to ourselves but this is the one exception everyone should allow. One they shouldn't question. "You and me aren't clean, we aren't organized and people don't have faith in us. But that's okay because we don't need them to. I don't need them to know that you're the one who makes me smile. That you're my someone who is lovely and warm. You're my only hazard, my headache, my home. It'll always be me and you baby, baby, baby."

Presley stirs against me and I wonder if it's because she knows I've been thinking about her. I do that a lot. At least that is what People to tell me. However, after running into too many walls, and food always missing my mouth, I realize that it's true.

It's hard not to get distracted by her. Especially when she laughs, or when she grabs my hand without realizing it. My eyes are drawn to her, she is the only one I ever want to talk to, the only one I'll ever tell my secrets too.

It's just the way it is and I don't think it'll change, even if I wanted it to. And I don't. No. Never.

"You were right, " I whisper and kiss her hair. "I didn't have to be afraid baby. I'm not anymore." It's the first time in a while that I'm not afraid. It's nice.
Incredibly nice.

"You don't ever have to be afraid," Presley whispers, her voice filled with sleep.
I peek down and grin, "Why aren't you sleeping angel? We've had a very exciting day and I know you're tired."

"I am," she yawns and leans up to kiss my jaw. "Just wanted to-- I'm tired." She curls herself into me and after a few minuets she stills and all I want to do is coo.

"I like being home," I mutter with my lips grazing her hair.

I came home and it's nice. Like hot coffee and cinnamon. Like Presley's laugh and gentle touches.

I have a wife now, she is my home, and it's wonderful.

So wonderful.

Notes

Have a brilliant New Year. I hope you all will tell me how it goes. Xx