I'm not a good person. I tried to warn you. Tried to keep you away.

Harry's face is a mix between betrayal, and anger. Like he's mentally sizing up Jesse. Though, we both know it's not a fair fight. His fist are balled up at his side, eyes glaring holes into Jesse's head. Or maybe mine.

"Harr--"

"Not a word from you," he says between his teeth. His head turns to look at me, and I wish it hadn't. "Come here." He demands hand out for me to take, and I'm afraid to see what'll happen if I don't take it... So I do. I let Harry guide me to his side, only to be pushed behind him, as his front squares Jesse.

"Harry, we were just talking," I try meekly. Though, for Harry right now, I don't think my words are registering. "Harry, please." Harry moves his head to give me a side glance. With his angry brow and mean face, I can't help but feel my ability to defend myself crawl out of the small room.

"Relax popstar. Presley's aloud to have friends other than your band mate." Jesse rolls his eyes, and I feel the need to remind him that Harry isn't Harry when he's upset. "What? Are you going to hit me?" Jesse smirks as he continues his taunting.

If he keeps this up I don't think he's going to make it to his next birthday.

And just as Harry is about to take a step forward, Ben enters the cozy room and stands in between the two feuding men. Louis being Louis right behind him in a protective stance, except this time it's not for me. It's for Ben.

"Okay, you two are ridiculous. Harry, they were patching things up. Nothing that deserves a beating, and you. Fuck Jesse, leave Presley alone. She's in a relationship, and I understand if you want to be friends, but you can't rile Harry up every time."

"It's not my fault he's insecure."

"It's not my fault you don't have my girlfriend." That was a low blow, and Jesse knows by the drop of his smirk. I guess neither party was going to play nice. Half the reason I tried to get away with it without Harry knowing.

"Let's go Harry," he's going to kill me. I can tell by his stiff hands, and silent state.

I'm good as dead.

****
I keep doing this thing where I'll look at Harry from my peripherals just to see how angry, and upset he seems. On a scale of one and ten, Harry's eleven, and, that number is not on the scale.

"Stop," Harry snaps with frustrated eyes. "I'm in no mood for your cute antics, Presley." I expected that. Still. It stings all the same.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"No? You just did."

My shoulders drop along with my stomach. "I know. I'm sorry." Harry doesn't respond. Instead he turns his head slightly and the look he sends me wounds me bad. "I didn't know how to tell you," I mumble looking down at my lap.

I didn't know how I was supposed to tell Harry that I wanted to correct things with Jesse. I didn't know how to make him understand, and worst of all. I didn't know if I was allowed to, and that's not okay.

A hundred levels of not okay.

"Okay." Is all Harry says as he pulls in to his drive way. "I'm going out for a bit," he leans over, kisses my cheek (even though I know he doesn't mean it), and reaches over me to open my door.

"Harry--"

"Get out, Presley," he says with a gentle edge.

I sigh knowing there's not a chance I'm going to win this, or get Harry to stay with me. "Harry, I'm sorry. Don't leave upset."

"I'll be back later." And I know I've lost this battle, and getting out of the car feels worse than I ever thought it would.

****
I didn't think I'd ever need him again. That I'd be shaking while calling him. I don't even know if we're there yet...I hope we are.

The phone rings for a second, and then three, until. "Hello?"

"Harvey? It's me, Presley."

"Pres-- oh! Kid, I never thought I'd hear from you again."

I chuckle breathlessly, "Same, Harvey. Is this a bad time?" God I really hope it's not.

There's rustling and quiet mumbling before he speaks up again. "No, I was just with another patient."

"What-- fuck, I'm sorry, Harvey--"

"Don't be," he cuts off my apologies. "Brats fine. Spoiled is all, and hearing 'no' for the first time has really traumatized her."

Harvey has no shame and it's amusing. "You're a terrible Doctor."

He laughs loudly and I can see him shrugging his shoulders. "I'm real, sweetheart. Now, I know you didn't just call to say hello. What's up?"

And right. I called Harvey because I fucked up, and now. Now I don't know what to do with myself. My tea has gone cold, and there is no milk in the fridge. I have no milk. I have no Harry. My life is falling apart.

"Kid?" Caleb used to call me kid. I miss it. "Hello? Presley, you there?"

"I--" I cough, "Yeah, sorry, I just-- Harvey, I fucked up." My voice gets louder, and I can feel the panic within it. "I really messed up this time."

"What happened then?"

"I lied, Harvey," I say with a tremble in my words. "I lied about where I was going, and about who I was meeting. Harry was so mad when he found me."

"Kid," he sighs. "Presley, do you regret lying or getting caught?"

That stumps me. I don't know which. Maybe both. "I regret hurting Harry."

"That's not what I asked." Harvey says in his deep, and confusing words. "Do you regret lying or getting caught?" He repeats.,

"Getting caught," I reply embarrassed. I know if I don't answer truthfully Harvey's going to manage to pull it out of me like a dentist working on a root canal. "I'm terrible aren't I?"

Harvey laughs, "Fuck no. Presley, you're honest. I swear you're not the only one who's ever felt this way."

"I'm obviously not honest."

"You are," he tuts. "What was the lie?"

Gosh, what wasn't the lie? "I met up with Jesse--"

"That's your friend's older brother, right? You're sort of ex who's obsessed with you?"

"He's not obsessed--"

"He's in love with you. Same shit." Harvey really is crude when he wants to be.

I roll my eyes annoyed Harvey can't see me. "He's not in love with me." By now Jesse hates me. Barley considers me a friend. "Harvey, Jesse was there when Harry left. We bonded, he became my friend, and when we were together, I didn't love him the way I should have. Jesse's anything but in love with me."

"Sounds like he's in pretty deep, kid. I feel sorry for him. He's the best friend that's never going to move up. He'll move on, but you won't be in his picture when he does."

That makes me sad, if I'm being honest with myself. I don't want to not be in Jesse's life. And that's selfish, I know. "I don't want that."

"And I bet Jesse didn't want you to end up with Harry either." I regret calling Harvey. I don't even know why I thought he'd help me. "Are you in love with Jesse?" It's the way he asks so suddenly and fast that almost gives me whiplash.

"I love Jesse, but. I'm not in love with him."

"Are you sure? Because I'm beginning to see why Harry got so upset."

What? Then inform me because I have no fucking clue. "What're you saying?"

"It's not what I'm saying. It's what you're not saying," Harvey's a bastard who's riling me up. "Why did you meet up with Jesse?"

"Because I owed him that." Because I'd feel terrible if I didn't.

"Is that it?"

"Yes."

"You wanted him to feel better?"

"Yes."

"You wanted to apologize?"

"Yes."

"You were trying keep him around in case Harry left again?"

"Yes." My eyes go wide and I slap a hand across my mouth. Did I reall-- fuck, I did. My chest is about to explode, I can't feel my face, and it's gotten about a hundred degrees hotter. "I didn't mean that."

"Yes you did," Harvey says unbothered, and I know he was expecting my answer. Okay. "I guess every time Harry tells you he's not leaving, you don't believe him."

"I do," I try weakly. My eyes are growing wet out of frustration. I am so over messing up. "Harvey, I swear I do."

"Then why do you feel the need to make sure Jesse sticks around?" I wish my voice sounded just as calm as Harvey's did. I wish I knew how to get information out of people the way he does.

I swipe under my eyes but the tears don't stop as I say. "Because I won't get over Harry if he decides to leave, and Jesse's the only one willing to have me, even if I'm only committed half way."

"It's not supposed to be like that, kid. You're not supposed to try and keep another man around, because you keep doubting your relationship with the man you love. You have to pick. Do you want half-assed, miserable love. Or do you want Harry?"

"Harry," the answer is easy. It's always been Harry, and it's always going to be Harry. "He's my person."

"Then it's time to end your shit with Jesse, Presley. For the sake of your relationship, and your sanity. I'm not saying you have to cut him off completely, but you can't go behind Harry's back like this again. Look at how it turned out?"

"I know," it's hard to admit, and i only feel remorse. "What was I supposed to do, Harvey? Harry wouldn't have let me go."

"Why does he have to let you go? If there's nothing to hide,you shouldn't have a problem telling Harry you're meeting up with Jesse."

And I guess I really did mess up.

****
When you get in a relationship they never tell you it's going to get messy. They just say it's great, and warm, and that you have no reason to be lonely anymore.

They never mention that you'll hurt each other, and that you'll end up feeling worse when it's you who's messed up.

And maybe. Maybe they do tell you, and because you're so in love, you hear none of it.

I think that's my problem. I think Harry makes me stupid. I think anyone who's in love gets stupid. I think I was extra stupid for taking this walk. For think it'd clear my head. Instead I'm cold, lonely, and cold. Really fucking cold.

My phone buzzes and right. I should have left that at home.

Hazard: Where are you?

Harry must be home. I'm not. I'm walking because once again. I'm incredibly stupid, and weak. I make my way to a near by park, and sit down on the bench facing the happy-- stupid, couple. It's not hard to tell I'm bitter. I blame my age.

Twenty minutes must have passed when my phone buzzes again.

Hazard: I'm worried you're hinting that you want to break up with me. Baby, I don't like this. Where are you?

The lovey couple have decided to start sucking faces. That's great. It's like go ahead. Shit all over my day.
Hazard: please message me back. Call me I'll come get you. Please I'm losing my mind.

To Hazard: park Harry. Needed space.

Hazard: that's enough space. I'm coming don't leave. Please don't leave.

Well okay.

****
"Fuck, baby, don't do that." Harry breathes rushing towards me. He hugs me close to him and kisses my head. "I'm mad at you, Presley, and you're not helping your case by leaving home."

I wrap my arms around Harry's shoulders silently. I'm not very good with words, especially when I feel frazzled. "I'm sorry, Harry."

"Baby," Harry sighs. "We have to talk about what happened, Presley. I need to talk about it with you."

"I already talked to Harvey about it," and it didn't turn out so well. I looked pretty bad.

Harry frowns, "Why would you talk to Harvey about it, and not wait for me?" Harry sounds hurt, and I'll just add that on the list of what's gone wrong today. "Presley, you need to talk to me. I'm your boyfriend. I'm supposed to be the one you trust."

"And that's my problem, Harry. I don't know how to talk to you about this."

"What?"

Fuck, it sounds horrible.

"I love you, Harry, but--"

"No," Harry interrupts me immediately. "No fucking but. I love you, and you love me. There is no but. You can't break up with me," Harry says frantically, hands clinging to my waist.

"Breaking up? Harry, I'm not breaking up with you." I don't know how to do that. I don't have the strength to break up with him. "If you want to break up, then you're going to have to do it because I can't."

"How is that even an option," Harry cries with wide eyes. He's on the verge of panic. Like he's anticipating a major blow. "Fuck, no, baby. That's not a choice I'm willing to give you. I don't care how selfish that is."

I bite my bottom lip and notice my hands begin to tremble. Right now is not the time for my anxiety to make an appearance. "I don't-- Harry, I'm sorry I lied to you."

"You are?" Harry asks as we sit on the bench facing each other.

I nod, "I am. I'm also sorry I got caught."

"What?"

"Be honest with me, Harry," I grab his hands and sigh. "Would you have let me go talk to Jesse if I had told you about it?"

"Fuck no," he responds immediately. His face is serious and I know he means it. I know he would've done everything in his power to keep Jesse and I from speaking. It's not surprising. "There is no way in hell that I would have ever let you see that git knowing the way he feels about you. I'd be fucking stupid to have let you go."

"And I would have been fucking stupid to have let you keep me from seeing him."

Harry's eyes harden, "What the fuck?"

"I've been the one who's been hurting Jesse all this time, Harry. I did exactly what you did to me. The only difference is that I'm not going to come back to him."

His jaw clenches, teeth grinding against each other. "And you're never going to go back to him."

Im going about this wrong but it's too late. I've already said it. "I know that." I mumble. "I'm pretty sure everyone's already figured that out."

"Then why go see him?!" Harry snaps standing. "I don't understand why you'd even go, let alone lie to me about it!"

"Because I knew you'd get like this," I say as calm as my nerves will allow. "I shouldn't have lied and I'm sorry I did, Harry. I didn't know what to do."

"It seems like you never know what to do," Harry says quietly. More for him than for me. "We're in a partnership, Presley. I'm not a babysitter."

I forgot Harry gets mean when he feels attacked. I also forgot Harry seems to only know how to be mean to me.

"And next you're also going to tell me there's no forever, right?" My eyes begin to water and I start to feel this familiar pang in my chest.

"Shit," Harry whispers. His hands cup my face and then fall as I move away. "Ba--"

"I've already fought this fight before,and it fucked me up." My voice has gotten louder without trying. "It's not a partnership if I feel like I have to ask you for permission to do something like this. It's not a fucking partnership." I whisper.

I stuff my hands in my pockets and walk away.

I walk away from Harry and his constant yelling of my name. I stopped hearing it after a few minuets, once I'm out of the park and walking on the side walk with all of the seemingly happy people.

I never thought I'd be the one who left first. I don't know if I'll be the first one to come back, though.

Notes

I think they're going to break up. Xx