I like it when you're mine. I like it when everyone knows.

"It's good to see you, Jesse."

"Yeah? I didn't want to make you feel ambushed."

I don't feel ambushed... I feel surprised. Like really fucking surprised, that Jesse is here, and throw that into the mix of Harry being here. It's not a very good combination. Kind of screams trouble, and discomfort.

"Come here," Jesse says, holding both arms open. A hug. Jesse wants a hug, and Harry is holding onto me, as if at any moment I could be ripped from his hold, never to be seen again. "Gotta let go, pop star."

That only makes Harry's arm tighten, before they loosen, and I'm free, not by Harry's choice.

"When did you get back?" How did he get in here? Is a better thing to ask. Why is he here, is another great question.

His arms are around me, head buried in my hair, as he mumbles. "I got here two days ago, hoping to catch you. I rang Ben, and he said you had gone home for a bit, and that I could sleep in his room. I knew he was coming back today-- I didn't hear that you were too? And with--"

Harry coughs, and I know that's a cue for me to let go. And I do, because I'd rather avoid a confrontation between two men, who have a clear and obvious dislike for each other.

"I thought we could talk when you got back? You know, about what happened before I left?"

"Oh," I gasp, turning to look at Harry. I had confessed to Harry about that night. Told him everything, and it led to him leaving a second time. Kind of not a pleasant memory, if I'm honest. "Things are different now, Jess," I have to say it, before Jesse says something else.

"I can imagine," Jesse says with disdain. "I'm assuming you both are back on?"

"We are," Harry answers for me. He stalks forward, wraps his arm around my waist, and eyes Jesse like there's a competition going on, and I wasn't informed about it. "That being said, I don't think there's any real point to have such a conversation."

"I think you should stay out of something that has absolutely nothing to do with you, yeah?"

Harry tenses at that, and his grip tightens slightly. "Kind of has to do with me, if it has to do with my girlfriend, mate."

And there it is.

Okay.

"So it's already official?" Jesse says, focus straight on me. I want to hide from him, and his judging glare. It's intimidating, and it has me feeling guilty. "Just like that? You made it official? Without talking to me, knowing how we left things?"

"I didn't-- it happened so fas-- I tried to call you," I remind him. I did try and get in touch with him. I called him straight for two days, and when he didn't answer I figured he was too mad, and that was that. "Jesse, I'm sorry you found out like this. But, it's not like I cheated on you. There was nothing to cheat on."

"We kissed! That was nothing?"

"No-- ye-- Jesse, I tried to call you," I'm emphasis again.

"Baby, relax," Harry says, kissing the side of my head. "Lower your voice, Mathews. We've just gotten back from a long flight and Presley's tired."

"I'm tired of all this shit that comes with her, and you being around her! Aren't you fucking engaged?"

"Lower your voice," Harry warns again. He uses his arm to bring me closer, and whispers reassuring words into my ear. None that help me as Jesse begins to loose his temper. "None of that is your concern. Presley is not your concern."

"Like hell she's not! I was fucking there when you fucked up, rich boy. Don't start telling me what is my business and what's not. You don't have that fucking right."

"Jesse," I whimper, "I'm sorry." I don't know what else to say. If I can say anything that will make both Harry and Jesse like each other. I don't think that'll ever be possible. "Can we talk when you're calm? I really want to sleep right now. I'm sorry, Jesse."

"Shh, baby. Don't apologize, you don't owe him anything." But Harry doesn't realize Jesse has been my friend for a while. For that while that Harry left, and even after he came back. We have a history, and it may not be a decent one in Harry's eyes, but in mine, it's worth trying to resemble some form of friendship.

"Don't treat me like a chore, Presley."

"I didn't mean-- Jesse, I don't know what to say."

"Say something that won't make me feel like a fucking loser, Presley! Something that won't make me mad."

"I don't think that's possible."

"Me either," Jesse whispers.

"Jesse--" I take a step forward and try not to wince as Jesse steps back. He shakes his head, both hands up in surrender.

"No-- I don't know what else I can do. Literally, I'm fucking clueless."

"Jesse, I swear I never meant to hurt you," I beg, desperately hoping he'll try and understand.

"But you did," he snaps. "Don't you get it? You led me on! I thought I still had a chance, and then this shit head comes back into the picture, and you brushed me off!"

"I didn't mean too," I don't know how to lead someone on. I don't even know how to flirt. "Jesse, I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that! Fuck, don't yo--"

"I fucking dare you to finish that sentence," Harry seethes, suddenly moving me back, and facing Jesse. "You don't yell at her. She's mine, and I fucking swear I'll have you on your back before you finish your next word."

"Back up pop star," Jesse threatens, and I've forgotten how to breathe.

"Why don't you make me," Harry's edges on, getting closer with every word.

"You don--"

"Stop," I step in between Harry and Jesse, trying my best to look intimidating, even though I know I'm failing, and I look like a dead kitten. "Jesse, please, don't do this right now. It won't be a fair fight and you know it."

"You and me weren't a fair fight, and you know it."

How can I disagree with that when it's true. It's so fucking true, I'll look ridiculous trying to deny it.
So I don't. I take a breath in, and nod.

I nod, and Jesse looks like I've just slapped him, and that's terrible, and I'm the worst.

"Okay," Jesse musters. He steps back, and gives me a sad look. "I'm going to go out for a bit, and then I'll be back for my stuff."

"Jess--"

"I hope you know what you've done to me, Presley."

I do and I hate it. Loath feeling this guilt, and the need to make Jesse happy. But I can't. Not when I know

I'll hurt Harry in the process, and that's the one thing I can't do.

Hurt Harry is something I'll never let myself do.

Even if it'll be fair.

"Jesse, please--"

Jesse shakes his head, still backing up.

"I'm done with you."

He takes a lingering look at me, and then spins, and walks out. He leaves and I don't know if he'll be back. And if he will comeback, will he say goodbye?

Not to me. No.

****
Life was simple when I was five. Like, I was incapable of doing anything wrong. Of hurting anyone.
I'm nineteen right now, and I've managed to hurt, piss off, and lead on almost everyone I know.

All because I couldn't say no to one person.

My person.

Harry's been asleep for two hours now. I managed to slip from his hug, and place a pillow in his arms. Harrys warm, and in fetal position, my duvet up to his shoulders, hair messy on my pillows.

His lips are parted enough to let air through, and every so often, his fingers twitch, from where they poke out of the covers.

I called me dad, and he cried again. Said he missed me already, and that they were already planning on flying down here, hoping to see Harry in concert. I think that's just an excuse to focus on something else. Something that isn't quite as morbid as Caleb's death anniversary.

Jesse hasn't come back yet. I don't think he will. I hope he might, but that's not fair of me to expect something I don't deserve from someone who deserves a lot, but received so little.

"Presley?" I turn my head, as my arms stay crossed facing my window. Harry's eyes are squinting tiredly, and I feel awful that he's waking up. "Why did you get up?"

I shrug, and try my best to smile. "I couldn't keep still."

"Baby--"

"I'm fine," I try, before he begins his monologue of everything working out. "It's fine, go back to sleep baby. I'm okay."

"Like it when you call me baby," he sighs, beginning to get up. He throws the covers off of him, and stretches his limbs. "But I know you do it when you want to distract me."

"No."

"Yes," Harry sings. "You always say baby, baby, baby. But you only said one baby, so that means you're not okay, and that means I'm not okay." He walks to me, and drapes his arm over my shoulder, as he kisses my head, and inhales deeply. "Don't leave me out, baby. You can tell me."

"I don't know," and I really don't know. I don't know what to say to Jesse to make him happy. I don't know
much right now, and I hate not being in control. "I'm just not sleepy, Harry."

"Your eyes say something different," I must look like shit then.
Okay.

"I've just been offended."

"Shut up, you know you're gorgeous. You're my pretty baby."

"Yeah," I sigh.

"Are you mad at me?" When I don't say anything right away, Harry wraps me completely in a hug and says. "Don't be mad at me, my love. I can't take it when you're mad at me. I just got you back."

"I'm not mad Harry. It's okay, baby, baby."

"You missed one." Harry says, lips on my hair.

"Okay, baby, baby, baby."

"Better," Harry sniffs. "Jesse's in love with you and he wants you. He wants what's mine."

"I hurt Jesse," I remind Harry. I guess I lead him on, and instead of owning up to it, I coward back, because I'm weak, and Jesse deserves so much more.

"Do you want him?" Harry asks timidly.

"No," I say back immediately. "I tried so hard to want him, though. I tried and I couldn't do it."

"Why?"

"Because I only know how to want you," Harry's the one person I can't lie to. I never learned how to, I guess.

Harry's body relaxes with my declaration. He hugs me tighter for a moment, before pulling back.

"I'm making your life so hard, brown eyes. That's not what I wanted."

"I know."

"Tell me how to fix this, and I will. I'll try and make it okay."

If I knew how, I would've done it already. If I could somehow make everyone in my life happy, and okay I would. I wouldn't think twice about it and I'd do it. Harry can't fix this either, and I'm afraid I'll break his heart if I tell him that.

So instead, I run my fingers through his hair, and say.

"I think it'll be okay, if we're okay."

Notes

I'm a sassy-fuck.