Oh, what my heart must do for you.

"I only need a second," Ben admits, hand pressed to his forehead, legs bent at the chair. "You two are a fucking trip."

I nod my head once, as it tilts.

Ben's right. Harry and I are a trip. We're confusing, and we make stomachs churn, like the loops on roller coasters.

Louis' can't hide his smile behind his hands. He has his shoulders hunched, and his legs crossed. He clicks his tongue and puckers his lips. "So, what you're saying, is that you two are together again? You're a couple? He's your boyfriend and you're his girlfriend...a couple?"

"Yes," Harry states, clearly. "The whole, hand holding, kissing obsessively, going on dates-- the whole nine yards." Harry picks my hand up, startling me, and making me jump.

"I've got you," he whispers.

I'm nervous, and I guess I didn't realize it was affecting my ability to stay focussed. Still, it doesn't keep me from giving Harry a small smile, and a squeeze to his fingers.

"Okay," Ben narrows his eyes. "Before I say anything remotely positive about your reunion-- I need to make sure." He slaps his hand against the table, making me jump. Harry glares at Ben, slides his arm around my waist, and presses me against him, for comfort.

"Be gentle around her," Harry snaps.

"I'm fine," I barley manage to squeak.

"You're shaken up," Harry argues, dropping a kiss to the side of my head. "Ben being a twit isn't going to help calm you down, baby."

"I'm being a twitt? Please, pop star. You've been a twit for the past year."

"Can't argue with that," Louis cuts in. "But he's right, Ben. We've got to be gentle with pretzel here. She looks like she's on trial for murder or something."

"I'm fine," I try again.

It seems that no one believes me, because Ben gives me this knowing look, and Harry's hold doesn't loosen.

"I've got to get her to nap," Harry says after a minuet. "She's exhausted. So if you're not going to say something important, we're going to go upstairs."

"Are you going to fuck up, this time?" Ben asks, instantly, and abrupt. "Think hard, Harry. Are you going to fuck it all straight to hell again? Tell me now, so I can come up with a plan to murder you."

"Be--"

"No," Harry interrupts me before I can finish. His body has gone tense, and his hand twitches against my skin. "I don't plan to intentionally fuck this up, Ben." Harry stress his sentence. "But this isn't just a 'this', Ben. We're not two young-ins stuck on puppy love. This is our lives, and I don't take that lightly, anymore."

Ben nods, and crosses his arms. Louis' looks proud and impressed with Harry's answer, raising both eyebrows at Ben.

"I assume you're engagement has been terminated?"

"Yes. It was the first thing I did. "

"Will you be cutting all ties with her?"

"Why does that matter?" I ask, genuinely curious.

"Because I've spent the last year and a half, watching you self destruct, Presley. I'm not going to take it easy on the one responsible."

"It wasn't all his fault, Ben. He's not responsible for the way I behaved when he left."

"Maybe," Ben shrugs. He looks at Harry and waits for the answer to his question.

"Yes," Harry exasperates. "I have no need to stay in contact with Jasmine. I don't think we were ever even friends. I won't be loosing anything by not having her in my life."

"You'll be loosing Presley if she remains a part of your life," Ben warns. Harry's eyes open, and I'm too surprised by Ben's out burst to say anything.

"She's mine. You can't say that." I'm too stupid to say anything.

"No," Ben shrugs with a shake of his head. "She's mine, Harry. She's my best friend, she's my family. I picked her up, when you let her fall, and if I have to do it again. You better fucking believe I'll take you down."

"Woah, lads," Louis tries, awkwardly chuckling.

The tension is thick and my head hurts. It feels like Ben is about to pull out a saber and challenge Harry to a duel.

"Is that a threat?"

"I don't make threats," Ben snickers. "Presley's not alone this time. She has me--"

"And me." Louis says. "I'm with Ben, completely."

"This is too much," I mutter. All eyes turn to me, and I swear my mind fogs up for a second. "I love you both," I say to Ben and Louis. Silently gushing at the way Louis' face brightens. "But this relationship isn't going to be between four people. It's between Harry and I, and for it to work out, it's going to have to stay that way. I don't want it to be, Harry, Louis, Ben, and me. I want it to be, Harry and me. We have to get stronger together before we let people in."

"Okay," Ben's agreed to easily for me to be happy. "Don't come to me when he fucks you over again." With a huff, Ben walks away angrily, storms upstairs, and slams the door.

My heart drops, and lands messily in my stomach.

"I should-- shit," I sigh. I move to get up, but Louis stands before I can.

"Let me," he smiles. "I think I understand what he's trying to say. I'll let you know when it's safe."

"Okay, thank you." I try to smile, but it's a moot point. I've forgotten how to do the simplest of things.

"Don't mention it," he squeezes my shoulder as he walks by, and gives Harry a pointed look, that he nods too.

"That was fun," Harry says. He uses his arms to lift me on this lap, and nuzzles his face into my hair. "I don't think he likes me anymore."

"I think I want to cry," I mumble. "If that was Ben-- my parents are going to eat us alive."

"I'll take care of it," and I know he'll try. But, that doesn't mean it's going to work, and that this isn't going to magically blow up in my face. "You've got to sleep."

"I'm fine."

"You're tired, " Harry counters. "Come lay with me for a bit? We'll deal with this, when you can function."

"I can function, just fine, now."

"Of course you can," Harry tuts.

He stands, my legs wrapping around him. He takes the familiar route to my room, and shuts the door behind him when we make it up. He lays us gently, pressed close together, arms a tangled mess, legs conjoined, hearts beating the same pattern.

"Don't be nervous, darlin'. I've got you. Close your eyes, and sleep. Everything's going to be okay."

"And if it's not?" My words are slurred and tired.

"It will be." Harry promises, as my eyes droop and my body still.
****
"I understand, but plea--"

"You don't get it!"

"Steve, please--"

"Susan--" it's my dad's warning tone that fully wakes me from my slumber. That, and the fact that Harry's body is missing on my bed, and his voice is one of the voices I hear.

I make my way towards the family room, and with every step I think I get more lightheaded.

My parents are arguing. My dad does not sound happy. Ben might hate me, and I swear the only one who seems to be behaving rationally, is Louis', and that's not very good.

"Steve, Presley's a smart girl. I'm sure she's thought this through."

"She hasn't thought anything through! She's obviously still confused, if she's allowed this, back into her life."

"You need to calm down," my mom's voice tries, soothingly.

"Sir, I'm not here to hurt Presley again. I love her."

"And after the first time you said that, you left, and my kid became a fucking alcoholic, who can't get her life together, because you've left her stupid!"

Okay. That hurt.

"That's way harsh, dad," I mumble weakly, making my presence known. Dad has never said anything that mean to me before. He's never hurt my feelings, until now.

"Pres--"

"I'm not stupid," I cut him off. "I'm not an alcoholic, and I'm trying to figure things out, dad. Doesn't that count?" Dads face crumbles, and his resolve weakens. He sighs and begins to blubber a mess of words. I stop him with my hand. "I knew this wasn't going to be okay."

"Hey, no," Harry coos. He turns to face me and inches closer. It only takes three steps for him to reach me. He cups the back of my head, and gently places his hand on my waist. "It is okay, sweetheart. Don't be upset. I've got you."

"Can you please, get away from my daughter. You're upsetting her."

"I believe that's you, Steve." Mom says. Dad looks down at her, face betrayed and wounded. "Presley," mom addresses me, giving me her attention. "How did this--" she motions between, Harry and me. "How did-- why is Harry here?" She re-words her question. It's now gentler in a way. Like, she's afraid to set me off, and I don't know why.

"I," I have to confess what I did and I don't want to, because I can already see how that's going to end. I'm going to be sent away, or put up for adoption. "I--"

"I came unexpectedly," Harry says instead, noticing the distressed and panicked look on my face. "She didn't know I was coming. I didn't know. It was unexpected and I couldn't, not be with her anymore."

My mom nods, taking in Harry's declaration. My dad looks ready to attack, and I want to know where Ben and Louis are.

"And you let him in?" My dad sounds angry, and his tone makes me feel like an imbecile. "What's wrong with you?"

"With all due respect, you need to lower your voice sir. I won't stand here, and let you insult Presley. Be mad at me. Not her. She didn't do anything. It was me and you should focus your anger at me."

My dad is stunned for a second.

I'm stunned for a second.

I don't think Harry is at liberty to tell my dad anything, when he looks like he could blow in a matter of seconds.

"You need to leave," my ears perk at my dad's words. My heart almost beats out of my chest and slaps him across the face. "I want you to get out of my house and leave my daughter alone. For good."

"No. Oh God, no--"

"Hey, shh, baby. No, it's okay."

"You can't-- you... Harry no." I plead. I'm terrified he'll listen to my dad. That he'll agree, and leave, and then what will I do?

Oh God, this is not okay.

"Hey, baby, breathe. I'm right here," he starts to move his hands up and down on my arms, and that is the only reason I realize I'm shaking. "There's no need to be afraid, my love. I'm not going to leave. I've got you, love. Remember?" It still frightens me. To know my dad wants Harry to leave, when all I want is for Harry to stay.

"Presley, come here." My dad orders, petulant. Like, I'm being reprimanded for breaking my mom's favorite vase. "Presley."

"Dad, don't make me choose." My dad's face twist into an almost shocked state. Like, he can't believe I said that. But I did, and there is no going back.

"What are you saying?"

"You said you wanted me happy, dad. That you never wanted me to go back to my old ways."

"I don't!" Dad stammers, hands flinging. "You're my baby, and I need to protect you! You're only nineteen, Presley. You're a kid!"

"Then don't make me choose!" I fight back.

"You shouldn't have too even think about it! I'm your father, Presley. Don't you forget that."

"Sir, please lower your voice," Harry calmly reasons. He drops his hand to my hip and grips me close. "I'm not here to drive a wedge between your family. Presley loves you very much, but I love her too, and I can't walk away from her. I'm not going too."

"You have a lot of nerve, kid. Showing up after everything you've done. You don't deserve my daughter. All you are is a good for nothing, pop star, who didn't know what he had until he lost it. You didn't give two fucks when you left, and now you're back? Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I messed up, I know I did, and I know I don't deserve Presley,"it's Harry's tone that makes me want to hold him, until he melts and feels better. The way his mouth moves slow and his hand fumbles with my shirt, every time he stops talking. "I understand you don't trust me. I wouldn't trust me. But I have never wanted anyone as much as I wanted Presley--"

"Weren't you just engaged?" My dad questions, with a raised brow.

"Like I said. I messed up sir. I haven't made the best decisions, and chances are, I'm going to mess up again. I won't lie to you, I'm selfish, and sometimes I'm-- pardon my language-- sometimes I'm a dick. I don't call my mum as much as I should, and I got engaged to a girl who liked my name and what it came with, because I had to find a way to stay away from your daughter. But," Harry pauses and continues. "I can't do it anymore. I can't marry a girl I don't even like, and forget about the one I'm ridiculously in love with. I'm inconvenient, and your daughter deserves better than me. Presley deserves-- fuck, she deserves the entire world, and if she'll have me, I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to give it to her, even if I have to get punched by you or Ben, every time you see me. I love her too much to let anything or anyone get in the way. Even if it's me."

My dad looks between Harry and me, and sighs, as I try to get my bearings together, trying not to burst from Harry's declaration.

"I don't--" dad scrubs his face and looks at my mom. "I'm not trying to make you choose, Presley. Your mom and me want you happy. But we also want you to get what you deserve, and Harry's right. You deserve the whole damn world, but you have to try and understand why half of me wants to kill Harry with my bare hands."

"Steve," mom scolds. She lightly slaps his arm.

"I know there's no guarantee Harry and I will work this time, or that we'll make it and stay together forever. We might not be that love story that ends perfect and clean." Harry's finger graze my skin tightly, like he's disagreeing. His mouth is on my hair, as he subtly kisses my head. "But, what if we are? What if everything that's happened is some sort of shitty sign that Harry and me are end game? I don't know. You're right, I'm nineteen. I'm a fucking kid, who dreams too big and misses her brother. The only thing I'm sure of right now, is that getting over Harry was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I didn't even do it right, considering, I'm here willing to choose him, without even thinking about it."

Dad takes a second, looks to the ground, the wall behind me, his shoes, my mom, and finally me. "Is this what you want? Is he what you want?"

"Yes," I say without hesitance. Harry's chest releases a breath, and he whispers an almost silent, 'thank God.'

"So, if tell you to leave, and never come back, unless you agree to never see Harry?"

"I'd leave, dad. But not because I'm choosing Harry. But because, I think. This time, I'm going to choose me, and what I want."

"I'm not going to loose the only child I have left," my dad whispers defeated. He wipes under his lashes, effectively breaking my heart. "I don't know what else I can do."

"I think we have nothing left to do, hunny. Presley's made her choice." My mom curls into my dad's side. She rests her head on his shoulder, as she takes Harry and I, giving us a meaningful glance. She sighs and whispers.

"Love is heartbreaking. Especially if it's real."

Notes