~Ava~

“Drive, please,” I ordered Jay breathlessly as I climbed into her black Mercedes. She looked at me with a confused expression adorning her face, “But Ava, I thought—”

“Please,” I begged, and she just clenched her jaw. I closed the door and buckled my seatbelt, peering to look over at her, my eyes wide from what I’d just experienced.

I saw him. I actually saw him. And he’d seen me too.

There were no words to describe how I felt—at the same time, I was overjoyed, nervous and petrified. My Blondie looked to be experiencing the same emotions, but there was no way to be sure. I kept visualising the way his lips had parted and his bright blue eyes had widened, looking like the most innocent child in the world. And I’d been the person to corrupt him.

I could only sit in the leather seat, my eyes wide, still panting—I’d run so far, so quickly, wanting—needing—to get out of there. I wasn’t crying; I was simply in shock, my breathing becoming heavy.

Without warning, Jay pulled over onto a small side street. I looked at her, surprised, “What are you doing?”

“I want to know what happened,” she said simply, unbuckling her seatbelt and turning to me, giving me her undivided attention. I cleared my throat, willing my heartbeat to slow and my breathing to even out, but it didn’t work.

Well, fuck.

“I saw him,” I began, rubbing my forehead, “And—he looked really good.”

I laughed dryly, bitterly, hating how he could affect me like this. I was positive that my feelings for Luke were gone—this whole ordeal would be on a professional scale—but the shock still came as a punch in the chest.

“I don’t know, Jay,” I dropped my shoulders, blowing out a defeated sigh. How could I possibly handle this task—this article—if I ran whenever I saw them?

“Ava,” Jay almost seemed to read my mind, “This can’t keep happening. These are our jobs on the line.” Jay was kind and sweet, but when something was serious, she knew how to order someone around to make sure the job got done.

I nodded quickly, “I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” her voice took on a softer tone, “It’s just—it won’t be good for you either. Emotionally, I mean. You don’t have feelings for him anymore, right?”

“Right,” I agreed, “I don’t know what happened. It’s my fault.”

“It’s shock, honey,” Jay assured me, “And it’s natural. Just avoid doing it again.”

I nodded firmly, but my breathing sped up, a tell-tale sign of a soon-to-be anxiety attack. There was a part of me that kept poking at the remainders of the ashes, at what used to be. I couldn’t believe this was happening—usually when Jay and I talked things through, I felt calmer, but if anything, I simply felt more pressure now—pressure not to disappoint, pressure to not put both of our careers on the line.

“Shit,” I whispered, putting my head in my hands.

“Your meds,” Jay said quickly, “Do you have them?”

“No,” I hissed, cursing myself for not remembering to bring them. I should’ve remembered today of all days—I knew that this could potentially result in a panic attack, yet I’d been so stupid. Why was I so stupid?

“I’m an idiot,” I swore at myself. Jay stiffened, “No Ava, you’re not. Stop insulting yourself, it’ll only make it worse.”

So we sat there for the next fifteen minutes, talking things out, me confessing my worries and fears to her while we both tried to find tactics to calm me down. I was grateful for my friend—she was always here when I needed her—but even she couldn’t distract me from the giant dilemma going on in my life.

I was alone, left to sort out my own feelings. Jay could calm me down, but she couldn’t make my decisions for me.

I was on my own.

~*~

It had been a week since I’d seen him.

And I was doing okay.

I was proud of myself, proud that for now, I was able to keep the anxiety at bay. I hadn’t dwelled on him—much—and I found myself growing slightly more confident as the days went by. It was a surreal feeling, and I couldn’t help but to fear the future, simply waiting for something to go wrong, for the other shoe to drop.

I didn’t have feelings for him—I knew that for a fact. He couldn’t make my breathing speed up anymore, he couldn’t make me blush. He couldn’t give me butterflies when he kissed me—if he ever kissed me—which would most definitely not be happening.

My relationship with all four of them would be strictly on a professional level. That was it.

I was concentrated on beginning to write down questions I would ask them when I interviewed them. I was hunched over my desk, my left hand scribbling down notes and devising speedily.

Just then, someone cleared their throat from above me. I looked up, only to find Jay smiling a small smile at me. I returned it and set my pen down, leaning back in my chair, and arching my back, cracking the bones that had begun to stiffen, “Hey.”

“Hi,” Jay was wearing dark clothing today and her hair was tied up in a ponytail. She was nervously playing with the ends of her platinum-blonde hair, biting her lip, “I just wanted to apologise. I never got the chance. Last week—I may have been a bit harsh, so I’m sorry about that.”

I held out my arms for her, pushing away from my desk and standing up, “Come here, you idiot.”

Jay laughed and I brought her in for a one-armed hug.

“No PDA!” a deep voice yelled out.

I peered behind my friends shoulder only to find Adrian’s hand cupped around his mouth, his face sporting a wide grin. He was on the other side of the office, consulting one of our head editors, but he took the moment to banter with us. I squeezed my eyes shut and stuck my tongue out at him.

“He’s too much,” Jay joked loudly so that the Filipino boy would hear it. Adrian just rolled his eyes playfully and assumed his previous position, hunched over the desk of the editor he’d been delivering files to before.

“So,” Jay began as I made my way back to my chair and picked up my pen, tapping my chin with the end of the writing utensil, “What are you doing?”

“Trying to figure out what sorts of questions to ask them,” I mumbled in a frustrated manner, scoffing at my lack of imagination.

“Will you date me?” Jay joked, and I picked up one of the many coloured paper clips littering my desk and threw it at her.

It hit her squarely in the forehead, her not having enough time to dodge it, and she let out a surprised sound, placing her hands on her hips and making a face at me. I happily returned it before growing serious again.

“Seriously. I can’t think of anything.”

“We want it as personal as possible,” Jay shrugged, “And you’re their best friend.”

“Was their best friend,” I corrected her quickly.

She waved away the amendment, making an impatient movement with her hand, “Whatever. My point is that they don’t know you’re still working here. If you pretend that you aren’t, you’re not technically consulting them as a reporter—simply as their friend. So they’ll be way more open to you.”

“How are you so smart?” I asked her, setting my pen down and glaring at her with envy. She just shrugged again, her eyes twinkling, “It comes naturally, Ava.”

“So I got stuck with the shitty genes,” I muttered, and she laughed.

“Am I interrupting something here?” a new voice asked us—one that was full of intensity and authority. I peered to my right, only to find Elise standing there, her posture dripping influence and certainty.

“Um, no, of course not,” Jay said quickly, flashing Elise a quick smile before turning back to me, “I’ll see you later Ava.”

“Bye,” I said weakly as she turned on her heel and walked away, mumbling something rapidly to Elise as she went.

Elise let out a breathy sigh and trained her inquisitive eyes on me, “How are things going with the article, Miss Summers?”

“Alright, actually,” I tried to keep the shakiness out of my voice, very aware that she could’ve possibly waltzed over here to fire me, “I’ve got everything mostly figured out.”

“That’s good,” the head editor hummed pruriently, “I hope I’ve made the right choice by trusting you and Miss Jacobs with this task.”

“You have,” I assured her quickly, shaking my head, “We’ll get the job done. I promise.”

~Luke~

“Michael!” I yelled, storming out of my room, “You took my comb again, didn’t you?”

“Maybe!” there was a muffled shout back, followed by a rupture of giggling that could only belong to Ashton. I rolled my eyes and marched into the living room of our luxurious hotel suite, only to find Michael and Ashton lounged around on the couch, a slice of pizza in each of their hands. In his other hand, Michael held out my comb.

Calum was on the floor, a PS4 controller clutched tightly in his palms, his eyes glued to the large flat-screen television that was mounted on the wall.

“Give me that,” I stalked over to Michael, momentarily passing in front of Calum, who practically hissed at me to get out of the way.

“I love how worked up you get about it,” Ashton giggled again. I stuck out my tongue at him and collapsed onto the couch next to Mikey, spreading my long legs out.

“Alright,” Mikey groaned, sitting up, “Get off Ash. Luke’s legs have claimed the couch.”

“Shut up,” I rolled my eyes playfully but I couldn’t stop the smile that found its way onto my face.

“Luke,” Michael said suddenly, “I really am sorry about last week.”

The air suddenly took on a tense, serious atmosphere. Calum and Ashton both stiffened slightly, but in all honesty, I almost wanted to scream at them. They didn’t have to walk on eggshells every time someone brought Ava up in a conversation.

“It’s honestly not a big deal, mate,” I told him, shrugging. Of course, it was a big deal, but I wasn’t angry at him—it was more the shock of seeing her, the want to see her again, to actually talk to her.

I didn’t have feelings for Ava anymore—I was pretty positive of that. I would’ve just liked to know why she’d left, why she’d shut all of us out of her life. If she wanted to break up with me, I understood—but why couldn’t we have remained friends? That would’ve been better than having no contact with her whatsoever.

“I still feel bad,” Mikey admitted, taking a bite of his pizza. Beside him, Ashton watched me skeptically, trying to see how I’d react.

I chuckled, “Ash, I’m not a bomb.”

“Sorry Luke,” Ashton said sheepishly, running a hand through his curls. I bit my lip—my lip ring wasn’t in, so rather than feeling the familiar cool metal I was usually acquainted with, all I sensed was the warmth of my bottom lip.

“Guys, you don’t have to get all serious whenever someone brings Ava up,” I said.

Calum looked at me with raised eyebrows, momentarily pulling his eyes away from the screen. The car he’d been controlling in the game drove into a tree and burst into flames, but he paid it no attention. I didn’t blame him. I never spoke her name whenever we had the rarity of bringing her up in a discussion. In fact, I was usually the one who said the least whenever it happened.

“Seriously,” I continued, “I’m fine. Ava’s in the past. I mean—yeah, I’d like to see her again, but not because I’ve got feelings for her, because I don’t. I just want to know why she shut us out completely. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” Ashton said. The other boys murmured something in response and I just sat back on the couch.

“Cal,” I said, “Toss me a controller. I’m going to kick your ass.”

“You’re on,” Calum grinned widely at me, exposing his bright white teeth, and for the moment, Ava was forgotten.

Notes

Heyyy, hope ya liked it! Let me know! I honestly love the feedback!

So I don't know if any of you guys have noticed, but the chapter titles are words from 5SOS songs! So do you guys want to play a game where you try to guess what song the chapter title is from? I don't know why I'm getting giddy over that, I'm such a dork :p but we should totally do that!

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~Merry Christmas guys (or Happy Holidays, if you don't celebrate that stuff)~