~Luke~

“What. The. Fuck,” I said shakily as I stepped through the threshold of our hotel room.

Michael shot me a helpless smile, “I was just as surprised as you were, man.”

“What is she doing here?” I hissed at him, my posture stiffening.

Michael held up his hands, “Don’t get mad at me dude. Calum already gave her shit—I don’t even think he’s begun to calm down yet.”

“He yelled at her?” I asked him, and my friend nodded. I sighed, raking my fingers through my hair, “I should’ve stopped her.”

“We all should’ve,” Michael admitted, looking guilty. Ava’s ignorance had affected him just as much as it had affected me—they’d known each other for so long, they were practically siblings. We’d all been crushed when she disappeared from our lives, but Mikey was the one to be optimistic, to be hopeful, always claiming that she would try to contact us.

So when the blow finally came—the realisation that she wasn’t coming back, it had hit him hard.

“No,” I said, “I mean right now. I should’ve stopped her—to talk to her.”

And before I knew it, Michael had grabbed a dark blue flannel hanging from the door and thrown it at me. A moment later, I was being shoved out the door, pushed back into the hallway, “Run, boy, run!” Michael cackled, slamming the door in my face.

I stared at the white barrier incredulously. Had he really just done that?

And then I realised that with every passing second, Ava was walking away. I turned and began sprinting down the hall, trying to pull on the blue flannel as I went. I shot the security guard a look in front of the elevator—something that said ‘hey, what’s up mate?’ before pushing the down button rapidly, bouncing on the balls of my feet.

After what seemed like an eternity, the doors parted with a ding and I rushed into the small cubicle. I pressed the lobby button, hoping that Ava wasn’t too far already.

I’d been completely frozen. I’d just let her snake by me like that; fall through my fingers a second time. I’d been about to open the hotel room door with my key card, but before I’d even had a chance to fish it out of my pocket, the door had been swinging open.

And she was just…there.

She looked really pretty. That was all I could think about. That and the fact that she hadn’t even seemed fazed when she’d perceived me. I was the awkward one, as always.

The elevator doors breezed open and I was suddenly running out, turning right and sprinting into the main lobby. She was there, leaning over the main desk and talking to the clerk behind it, handing back her own key card.

I briefly wondered how she was able to obtain the card, but then I noticed all of the girls outside the entrance of the Plaza. Shit.

“Ava!” I called out, and she turned in my direction, her lips pursed, eyebrows arched innocently. When she saw me, her expression didn’t falter, but it didn’t harden either, like she was trying to keep a perfect poker face.

I jogged over to her and stopped in front of her, very aware that the clerk behind the desk was looking at us. There was silence as I approached, “Erm—hi.”

“Hi,” Ava said simply, “What’s up?”

“Look, Ava, I—,” I was cut off by a scream that could be heard even from inside the lobby.

My eyes flashed to the entrance over Ava’s shoulder, only to find the horde of girls stirring themselves into a riot, one of them finally having seen me.

“Crap,” I muttered, not wanting them to take a photo of Ava—Luke Hemmings talking with a girl would surely spark something.

“C’mere,” I hissed, grabbing my flannel and holding it out. I pulled Ava into my side, her letting out a surprised sound, “Luke, what are you—?”

“Where do you need to go?” I cut her off, and she merely muttered, “Underground parking.”

I nodded quickly and pulled her into my chest, trying to conceal her face with the blue fabric of my flannel. I felt her arms wrap around me as she stumbled, and she buried her face into my chest, letting me guide her blindly.

I shot one last glance at the screaming crowd, smiling at them, before turning around and steering us both to the hall off to our right where the elevators stood.

And then I realised that I was actually holding her. She was in my arms again, the girl I used to love; the one I wished would come back to me. She still smelled like lavender, her frame was still small, even more so now that I’d sprouted up in height. Her hands were gripping onto my shirt and her face was buried in my chest. I was suddenly alert—everything around me being maximized by a dozen.

“Thank God,” I breathed as we disappeared around the corner. Ava let go of me and stepped back, and my side immediately felt cold. The whole time, I’d been inhaling the scent of lavender that still took up the space around her.

“What was that for?” Ava asked me, but she wasn’t angry—simply curious, looking up at me with her wide cocoa eyes.

“I don’t want them to get a picture of you,” I blurted, pressing a button next to the elevator. Once the doors opened, we stepped inside, and Ava pressed a button that had a large ‘P’ on it for underground parking.

“Thanks,” she told me—neither of us had smiled the entire time, and I was beginning to feel the nerves settle in. I looked down at the ground, clasping my hands behind my back and shuffling my feet awkwardly.

Finally, the doors unsealed again and I was met with gray surroundings, several cars parked, the air smelling of the musky scent of petrol. Ava stepped out, and I mimicked her, wanting to actually have a conversation with her.

She pulled out her phone and unlocked it. I looked over at her, “What’re you doing?”

“Calling a cab,” she explained in a small voice.

I shook my head, “Nonsense. I can get someone to drive you.”

“Thanks,” she said, looking up at me and shooting a small smile—the first one, “But you don’t have to. I’ll be fine.”

“You don’t have a choice,” I told her bluntly, and she just chuckled, dialling a number and bringing the phone to her ear, “There’s always a choice.”

I just stood there, staring at her with parted lips, but she didn’t seem to notice, “Hello? Hi. Um, I’d like to order a cab. The Plaza Hotel?” she paused, listening to a voice on the other end, “Actually, I’m in the underground parking. Oh, you don’t? Well, you just turn right…”

She took a few steps away from me, giving directions to the person on the other end of the line.

After a few moments, she said, “Okay, thank you,” she smiled, and hung up.

She sighed as she walked back over to me, “They’ll be here in ten.”

“I still think you should’ve let me call someone,” I admitted to her, and she just laughed. I stiffened slightly, remembering the sound all too well. It hadn’t changed over the past few years, still the sound of an angel.

“Honestly, Luke,” she told me, “I’m fine. But that was sweet—thank you.”

“You’re—erm—you’re welcome,” and the stuttering begins.

“You should probably go,” she motioned to the elevator, “I’m sure the others want you back.”

“They’ll be fine without me,” I told her, pursing my lips, “I heard Calum got pretty mad.”

Shit. Why the hell had a brought that up? She probably wanted to forget all about that? For a moment, my filter had disappeared, and I’d blurted the first thing that had come into my head—all to avoid an awkward conversation—fucking great.

But Ava just shrugged, “Yeah. But I deserved it.”

“You did?” I asked her incredulously.

She merely laughed again—that same beautiful sound that made me want to punch something and kiss her at the same time, “Of course. After everything I put you guys through? He should’ve slapped me.”

“Don’t say that,” I told her quietly.

Even though I had no feelings for Ava—I didn’t—the thought of someone hurting her made my insides twist and my jaw clench. She didn’t seem to notice the rigidity that my posture had suddenly adopted, because she faced the front again and let out another sigh, “So, how’ve things been?”

“How’ve they been?” I echoed hollowly—did she really expect me to answer that with a peachy-keen? How did she think they’d been? I was still distraught over the fact that she’d left me, she’d cut me out of her life completely. I was still trying to forget about her, even though she was standing right in front of me.

I suddenly felt a rush of anger towards her—wishing that I could inflict only a fraction of the pain that she’d held over me. My hands balled into fists, nails digging crescents into my palms, and I took a few teetering steps away from her.

“They’ve been fine,” I told her in a clipped voice, “Um—I should go.”

“Okay…” she said, looking at me like I was insane. I didn’t blame her—one minute, I was cute, shy, awkward Luke, and now I just wanted to run from her.

What am I saying? Of course I blame her! She’s to blame for everything!

Right, of course she is.

I whipped around and walked back into the elevator, whose doors were still open. Shaking my head slightly, I fished my key card out of my pocket and slid it into the slot above the number panel and proceeded to press the highest level. I didn’t want to look at Ava as the doors closed, but I couldn’t resist just a small glance.

She was looking at me with pursed lips, her arms hugging herself, her brown eyes wide, shocked.

My heart began to break, but I willed it to glue itself back together—steely as ever—she wasn’t worth it.

~Ava~

“So he just left you there?” Jay scoffed the next day as we walked to work. I nodded, my small hands gripping the cup that held my morning coffee. I hadn’t said much about it—part of me was still basking in shock.

It was like someone had flipped a switch. He’d been sweet and awkward—the Luke that I always knew—one moment, and the next, it was like he couldn’t wait to get away from me. I couldn’t believe something like that had happened—I couldn’t believe that I’d seen him at all, really.

A small part of me felt warm and fuzzy—he’d practically ran down after me, and every time I remembered seeing his slightly pink face and panting cheeks, I couldn’t stop my lips from curving up into a small, barely noticeable smile—here it comes again.

“What are you so happy about?” Jay teased, nudging my shoulder and taking a sip of her proper coffee.

I just shook my head and looked down at the ground, trying to wipe the smile off of my face, “Nothing. I just can’t believe this is going to work.”

Okay, so that may’ve been a small lie. I didn’t know yet.

“I hope it does,” Jay told me, her right hand coming up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, as she always did when she was anxious.

I took a tentative sip of my coffee, not wanting to say anything…suddenly I felt as though my mouth was a bomb, and I was afraid of letting something slip.

I didn’t even know why I was so on edge. I concluded that it was from the nerves of seeing Luke yesterday—they should’ve been gone by now though. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I knew that this task—this project—would stay purely on a professional scale, but I still had my doubts. Seeing them all yesterday had reminded me of how much I missed them—even when Calum had yelled at me.

I’d actually missed them—and though that was understandable, I was afraid that somehow, my feelings would get in the way. I had to detach all emotion, but how? It was so much easier said than done.

I can do this. I don’t know how, but I can.

I kept telling myself that. But could I really? Could I gain their trust, only to stab them in the back in the end? Would it really all just be for my job, for my own personal gain?

The way Ash and Mikey had hugged me had ripped out my heartstrings—so trusting, as if I’d never left them in the first place.

I need to push that little voice away. They’re in the past—they don’t matter anymore. They’ll be gone in eight months, and things will be back to how they used to be.

“You okay Ava?” Jay asked me, shooting me a worried glance. I realised that I’d begun to pant lightly—no one else would conclude that something was wrong, but Jay had known me long enough.

“Yeah,” I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes for a moment before bringing my coffee cup back to my lips, “I’m fine.”

No I’m not. Not at all.

Notes

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