Harry was gone which gave me time to think about the relationship. Did I make the right choice? Was I really into it as I wanted to be? I took the risk to jump into the relationship thinking it would be different and better, it was definitely different but better? It was awkward and I was finding it hard to get with it. I was still trying to get over the fact that basically two years ago Harry went out and cheated. He convinced me it was an accident and he was taken advantage of in a drunken state. What convinced me was that Harry did the same to me (except apperantly I was the one taking advantage of a sober Harry) a few weeks ago. Our relationship was great which made it sad how it came to end in such a horrible way. I remember screaming and hatred filling me up to the point I did something I regretted deeply. I lost my virginity in the worst manner possibly. I thought when I lost it, it would be romantic and sweet but nope. I was certainly sore afterwards. I sighed and got up out of bed. I needed to talk to some one and the sound of the tv in the other room reminded me I had an live-in counselor waiting for our session.I walked out and sat down next to Kevin. Kicking my legs up on his lap and leaning against the arm rest bringing his attention to me. He raised an eyebrow and looked at me.
"Talk?" He asked.
"You know how to read people, I swear."
"I know." He smiled patting my foot. "Now let Dr. Kevin help you with your needs."
I sighed and began expressing my feelings about the relationship to Kevin. How I didn't know if I made the right choice. How the relationship felt forced and awkward. Just things that I was struggling with.
"Hmmm, I see. You are afraid he is going to hurt you again."
"Well, I guess. But that really isn't it, I believe."
"Bricklyn, do you really want to be with Harry?" He asked.
"I'm confused! I don't know if I want to or not!" I huffed.
"Oh my god, you are fucking frustrating me!" Kevin shouted throwing his head back.
"All I know is that I want to have sex with him...literally the whole time we have been together was more of making out instead of talking."
"So it is more of infatuation, you don't exactly want to be dating Harry, you just want his knob!" Kevin laughed.
"Ugh no, I shouldn't be like this!" I threw a pillow over my face and screamed into it. I was suppose to be a good girl. I was suppose to not want a guy just for their penis.
"Just have sex with him and see what you feel afterwards. Simple as that."
"Really?" I asked peeking out under the pillow. Kevin nodded.
"Give it a try, this time be sober."

The week past and Harry returned. Harry called and asked if he could take me out to dinner. So here I am dressed up waiting for a table with Harry standing next to me looking well....looking pretty hot which made me sex craved. Oh god Bricklyn, what have you turned into? Harry smiled at me and turned back to the lady who escorted us over to a reserved table. Harry walked around and pulled out my chair for me and scooted me in. He sat down and placed his elbows on the table showing me that his attention was all centered on me.
"So how was the week without me?" He asked with such a tone that startled me at how he was so interested in me at the moment.
"Honestly it was boring, all I did was go to work and go home. I don't have such a lovely life like you Harry." I said sarcastically.
"Seriously, nothing? No girls night, no clubbing, no getting drunk and sleeping with your male roomate?" I snorted, Harry sat there with his eyebrow raised as waiting for my reply.
"Truth is I have no girl friends, I didn't go to any club and I didn't get drunk and Harry he is just my roomate and I don't plan on sleeping with him!"
"Really no female friends?" Harry looked shocked.
"No, I don't get along with females really that much, not for a while." I shrugged scanning the menu.
"Why not?"
"Because."
"Because why?'
"Harry."
"What? Be honest with me and tell me!" Harry threw down his menu and planted his eyes on me. "If you want to make this work than we need to communicate!"
"Fine, I don't like girls since we broke up, I lost my two best friends thanks to you!"
Harry went quiet for a while, then he spoke. "I can reconnect you guys."
"Yeah right, I'm not interested and how would you do it, it's not like yo-" I halted, I glared at Harry who suddenly looked uncomfortable. "No." I was horrified.
"We talked....once.....maybe a few times...."
"Harry!"
"Alright, I kept in touch with them. They were my friends too!"
"Damn it!" I said that a little too loud that I drew in attention from the surrounding tables and a waitress came over to take our order. After she left, I turned my glare on Harry.
"I only talk to them and when I was in America I saw them once in a while, there wasn't anything going on..." Harry paused for a moment. He let out a sigh. "Well, there was once I went to go and visit Sam, we ended up having a night."
I went to say something but couldn't bring any words to say. I literally was speechless. I just sat there staring at Harry shocked.
"It was only once! I swear!"
I couldn't think and without any thought of it, I got up and scooted the chair in. I started walking away where I could hear Harry stumbling out of the chair and following me. I was almost out of the restaurant when Harry grabbed my arm and spun me around.
"Listen, we weren't together, again you guys weren't friends, you shouldn't care."
"Still, she used to be my friend Harry! You don't see me going and sleeping with all your friends after the break up, now did you!"
"Listen, it was in the past, all we need to worry about is right now. I am with you again aren't I?" Harry looked at me with such intesity.
"Yes, you are. So listen here, if I find out anything fancy is going on with you and those two, we are done." I threated.
"Yes, I understand." He said nodding. "Can we please go back to the table after we cause a scene?" He asked, I spun on my heel and turned back in the direction of the table.

Harry and I continued bickering and nagging at each other during dinner. Mine and Kevin's talk the other day kept popping up in my mind. How he told me maybe sleeping with Harry would help be decide my feelings for Harry. I kept glancing at Harry and wondering if it was really what I wanted. What if that was all I wanted? Just sex. What if after finally sleeping with him, I realized that was all I wanted, was I going to just throw him out? Maybe it would make me see that I really wanted to be with him and we lived happily ever after? Well I guess I was just going to have to find out.

Harry pulled up to the flat. He leaned in and kissed me.
"You want to come in?" I asked. Harry looked over my shoulder at the flat's door and back at me.
"Is your roomate home?"
"I don't know, he could. But it doesn't matter." I shrugged, looking up at the door.
Harry sighed. "Why not." He got out and walked over to open my door, helping me out.
Once we got inside, Harry stood there looking around for any signs of Kevin being home.
"Relax, he might be crashed out on another's couch."
"He does that often?" Harry asked quizzically.
"Like twice or three times a week."
"Does he even have a job?"
"Yeah, he is a pretty smart dude, he dropped out of university but he is still pretty smart." Kevin was an interesting character if you got to know him.
"Wouldn't have guessed." Harry mocked.
I remembered why I invited Harry inside and stepped closer to him.
"Enough talking about Kevin."
I draped my arms around Harry's neck. Harry encircled his arms around my waist, rubbing his hands up my spine. I gave Harry a little kiss and he hummed against my lips.
"Did you miss me?" Harry asked.
"Maybe a little bit." I rubbed my nose against Harry's.
"A little bit?" Harry murmered against my lips.
"Hmmm." My lips swept over his.
I continued to kiss Harry until things started speeding up and we ended up on the bed. I was straddling Harry, leaning over his lounging body, as our lips continuously met. I was working on his shirt, unbottoing it down until it was open exposing his torso. My hands glided down to his button, ready to pop it open until Harry grabbed me, as he sat up. I was still straddling him but Harry had a grip on both of my upper arms. He gave me a stern look.
"I don't want to do this." I couldn't help but feel annoyed, Harry, Harry was rejecting me.
"What?" I couldn't help but give him a dull look which he laughed about and leaned in to give me a little peck on the lips.
"It's not like I don't want to have sex wtih you, but I'm meaning is that I don't want you to rush it."
"I'm lost." I confessed.
"Well I was just thinking, you know how maybe that was why are relationship didn't work out the last time. You know, how I kept pushing you. You probably only slept with me thinking that was the only reason why I was with you and thought that once you gave me what I wanted I would leave. But I don't want to have sex with you, I want to be with you! That's why I am going to wait. We will wait." Harry looked excited, like it was a good thing.
"But I don't want to wait, I already have had sex, there is nothing to hold us back. No virginity, nothing! Let's have sex!" Harry chuckled.
"Bricklyn, you don't need to feel like since you are already experienced now that we can just have sex when ever. I don't want you to." He was killing me.
"Ugh Harry, you don't need to worry about that! I am fine, I want to have sex, I don't feel like I need to, I want to!"
"No, no, no, Bricklyn, I am going to prove to you that I can wait. I am not going to push you for sex with time. I want to make this work." With that Harry scooped me up and plopped my back on the bed as he stood."I am going to go know, I will call you tonight before I go to bed." Harry leaned down and left such a gentle kiss on my lips that he made me think that I couldn't even feel his lips on my lips.
He walked out of my room and called from the door as he left. I growled in frustration as I flopped back onto the bed. This was ridiculous!

Sure enough Harry called me before bed. I wasn't too pleased with him and he could tell. He kept reassuring me that he was flattered but he was serious. He wanted to prove to me that he cared about me and wanted things to work. I tried to insist that he didn't need to worry about proving me wrong, I got the picture but he was being stubborn. I gave up and rushed the goodbye, tossing the phone far away from me and shoving my face into the pillow. I let out a scream and huffed, throwing my head back so my hair wasn't in my face. Why couldn't I just be a virgin still?

You know how you may dream a dream and wake up from that dream with feelings change. Well that was what happened when I woke up. I dreamed about Harry and I, we were walking down a boardwalk, holding hands and teasing eachother. I bumped him wiht my shoulder and he would bump back, kissing my cheek where I would giggle. We looked so happy and I felt delighted to be holding hands with him. The dream ended around where Harry dragged me into the surf. Soaking, we were splashing eachother and laughing. I had a feeling in my chest, yearning to be near Harry, my whole body was in pain to just caresse Harry's face. I took this as a sign that maybe in fact I was still into Harry.
I wanted Harry just as bad.

Author's Note: So what do you guys think about Bricklyn now? Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter :) and sorry for mistakes or any errors, I will go over the chapter later and fix any I spot!