The Original Heartbreak Girl

I rolled over to find myself face to face with Molly, black hound dog. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, trying to wake myself up. I looked over to find that Ashton was missing from his bed. The clock said that it was only 9 so it was weird that he was up already. I dragged myself out of bed and downstairs into the kitchen. There was still no sign of Ashton where until I spotted a note sitting on the counter. I looked closer and saw that it was written in Ashton's messy handwriting and it had a smudge of peanut butter on the top.

Had to run some errands. Be back in a little. Call me if you need me. Eat breakfast please. Stay away from the razors! -Ash

I set the note back down and grabbed a bowl out of the cupboard. I grabbed a box of cereal and dumped a good portion into the bowl. I was surprisingly hungry this morning so I decided to try and eat. I sat at the table and ate by myself. It was the first time since we had gotten home that I was alone. I guess everyone was so worried about me, they never wanted to leave me here by myself.

I got up and put my bowl in the sink once I finished then headed back upstairs. I decide to shower while Ashton was still gone so he wouldn't have to endure my singing today. I showered and belted out Adele's Make You Feel My Love and once I was done, I got out and wrapped a towel around my body. I walked into my room and slid on a pair of black jeans. I didn't feel like doing my hair today so I just threw my favorite gray beanie on. I sat on my bed and began to scroll threw my phone.

I didn't bother to read any of my texts, I had been ignoring them for months. I just didn't feel like to talking to anyone yet. I was about to call Ash and ask where he was when I heard a car pull into the driveway. I looked out to see Ash's car parked in Rose's driveway. I immediately felt my heart drop as soon as a familiar blonde head emerged from the passenger seat. She waved to Ash then walked towards her house. I had about a thousand questions stirring in my mind but before I could even think to ask Ashton, he was backing out of the driveway and heading down the street.

I flopped back onto my bed with a groan. What was she doing back here? Why had Ashton driven her here? My head began to pound from the jumble of thoughts in my head. I got up and went to the bathroom to find some aspirin. The glint of the light reflecting off my razor caught my eye as I looked in the mirror. The urge was strong and I couldn't seem to push it away/ I picked it up and slid it against my wrist twice and stopped when I heard a knock on the door. I walked back into my room and slid my bracelets onto my wrist. I walked downstairs and hoped whoever was at the door, wouldn't mind that I didn't have a shirt on.

I opened the door and I felt like I had been pinched in the stomach. Standing in front of me was the face I had been dreaming of for months. Her light blue eyes were staring at me nervously. I was having trouble forming words so I just stood there staring at her awkwardly.

"Rose?" I whispered out, feeling like I was going to faint. It was like seeing a ghost. I had dreamed of her coming back for the past 9 months but I couldn't believe she was actually standing right in front of me.

"Hi Luke." She mumbled, sounding kind of nervous. This was weird for us to be acting like this, but a lot had changed. We weren't the same Rose and Luke as we were before.

"What are you doing here? When did you get back?" The words came out together, forming one giant sentence. I couldn't stop them from coming out. I had so many unanswered questions, I felt like they were all going to come out.

"I just got home and I wanted to talk to you." I nodded, then realized we were still standing on the front porch. I moved out of the way so she could come inside.

"Oh, uh come in." She walked past me and headed straight for the living room. I followed behind her and sat on the couch with her. I made sure there was plenty of space between us when I sat down. I don't think I could handle being that close to her yet.

"Look I just want to tell you how sorry I am for leaving you back in London. There was just something I had to do." Something she had to do? Why couldn't she just tell me what was going on? I was so sick of secrets.

"What did you have to do? And why were you with Harry? Why haven't I heard from you in months?" I spit out angrily, my temper already rising. I took a deep breathe and forced myself to calm down. I had to at least give her a chance to explain.

"I wasn't really able to contact you and I just had to investigate further into something. Harry was helping me, as a friend." I felt my blood begin to boil. She still wasn't telling me everything.

"You left me broken hearted in London with thousands of unanswered questions just so you could investigate something with Harry Styles. Who I thought you hated after what he did to you. Almost 9 months go by and I haven't heard a thing from you. The only reason I knew you were even alive was because I say pictures of you and Harry walking together hand in hand, which killed me to see. And now suddenly you're here apologizing and giving me a shitty answer. What the hell is going on Rose?" I could feel my voice rising as I spoke and I'm sure my face was red with anger but I didn't care. I was so tired of trying to hold everything in. She looked at me with her eyes wide in fear. I never raised my voice or even got anger so I'm sure she was surprised.

"I can't tell you yet. I'm just not ready to. A lot has happened over the past couple months." Her hands were shaking as she spoke and her eyes were wet with tears that had yet to fall.

"I thought you loved me?" I hated how weak I sounded when I asked. It was the same thing I had asked before she left me in London.

"I do and I'll try to give you answers, it may take some time though." Try and give me answers? Didn't I deserve to hear actual answers by this point? She still loved me though, which was nice to to hear but I was still worried about everything she was hiding.

"I just don't know if I can forgive you after everything. You promised to never leave me and you did." I stared down at my hands as I spoke, unable to meet her stare. My bracelet had slid down and before I could fix it, she was reaching for my arm.

"What's this?" She was holding my wrist close to her face so she could examine the cuts. I know how bad it looked.. There were multiple scars along with the new cuts that I had just added.

"It's nothing." I pulled my hand from her grip and crossed my arms across my chest so she could no longer stare at them.

"Did you do this because of me?" She asked like she already knew the answer, which I'm sure she already did. It was fairly obvious.

"Of course it was because of you! You caused me so much pain in the last couple months Rose, I just couldn't handle it. You shattered me Rosie. I didn't know what to do. You were my whole world and suddenly you were gone. I felt empty and lost." The words came out before I could even think to stop them and I immediately regretted what I had said. Tears began to fall from her eyes. My words were honest but they were also hurtful.

"I'm so sorry." She began to sob into her hands and I just wanted to pull her closer to me and tell her that everything was going to be alright, but I couldn't. I just stared at her as she cried, feeling empty.

"What's going on?" Both of us looked up at Ashton who was now standing in the doorway. I hadn't even heard him come in. Before I could answer him, Rose was jumping up from the couch.

"I was just leaving." She was rushing out the door before either of us could stop her. Once she was gone, he turned and looked at me with a worried expression on his face.

"Are you okay?" He sat down beside me and placed his hand on my back. I scooted away from him, not ready to be that close with him.

"She's here, how could I be okay? How could you not tell me that she was coming home?"

"She didn't want me to tell you." He whispered but I still heard him. For some reason, this enraged me. I stood up, knocking over the end table on my way. I stomped up the stairs and slammed the door to my room.

I began to gather all his stuff up off the floor and shoved it into his duffel bag. Ashton was outside banging on the door and yelling but I just ignored him. Once I was sure that I had everything of his, I opened the door.

"Here's your stuff, get out of my house." I handed him the bag and slammed the door in his face. He was yelling something but I didn't care. He had gone behind my back and hidden this from me, I couldn't forgive him.

I sat on the bed and rubbed my head, trying to calm myself down. I got up searching for my phone when something caught my eye. Laying in the middle of the floor was a letter. I had the same thing but this one had Ashton's name on it. He wouldn't let me read it or even tell me what it was about. I picked it up and mentally debated whether or not I should read it. My curiosity got the best of me and I pulled the letter out of the envelope.

Ashton,
Sorry this is so messy, but I don't have much time. I'm not coming home which you probably know by now but you're probably wondering why. I'm terrified about what's going to happen to Luke so I met with Harry yesterday. The only way to keep him safe is if I stay here in London with Harry while you go home. You know the only reason I would be staying with Harry Styles is because I'm desperate. I just can't imagine anything bad happening to Luke and it being all my fault. I know this is going to break his heart and trust me, that's the last thing I want to do. Please look after him and help pick up the pieces. Hopefully I'll be able to talk to you soon but if not, just know that I love you. I'm sorry to leave you with the mess that I made but hopefully you can handle it. I hope to see you soon. Tell Luke that I love him and that I always will. Thank you for everything Ash. xoxo
Love always,
Rosalina

What did she mean she was doing this protect me? What did Harry have to do with me getting hurt? What the hell was going on?

My head began to pound again from everything that I read. It was a lot of information to take in. She left me to protect me, but protect from what? I had about a thousand more questions but at least I knew a little more.

She loved me and she hadn't left me for Harry. She was still keeping so many secrets from me and so was Ash. How could I trust either of them. I needed answers now.

I got up and walked over to Ashton's bed and lifted it up. Lying underneath the mattress were dozens of letter and I had a feeling I knew who they were from. He was never very good at hiding things, it was a surprise that it had taken me this long to find them. I gathered them up into a pile and set them in front me.

At least now I would get the truth.

Notes