Mandolin Rain

Harry's POV

The look on Elliot's face is one I will never forget. I can't believe I was the one responsible for this. I did this to us. I messed up, like usual.

I drive back to my house, I have to join back up with the tour as soon as possible, I thought I had more time with Elliot. I'm glad that I was truthful, I know I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I tried to hide it. I don't blame her for her reaction at all.

I have to make plans to leave tomorrow, but tonight I'll be at home. Home, the place where Elliot has been living for the last few weeks. I take a deep breath before I open the door, I've always been fond of this place but now it will just be a reminder of the unhappiness I bestowed on Elliot.

Everything looks the same but it smells like her. I hang my keys up and see traces of her everywhere. I've checked in a few times to feed Luna and clean out her box, but I've been staying with Elliot in the hospital. They didn't want me to but I wasn't leaving her. And now look where I am. Alone.

I pass the kitchen, seeing the colorful letter magnets that Elliot insisted on adding to the kitchen. I see she had spelled out “Har + El” on it making me slump my shoulders a little more. I plop on the couch and see another reminder of her, yoga and Pilates magazines litter the coffee table.

Luna jumps up on the seat next to me and carefully walks to me. She's gotten bigger but shes super affectionate to me, even if I haven't been there in a while, she snuggles right up on my lap and falls asleep. I pet her gently, “At least I know we can stay together.” I tell her, realizing though that Elliot will probably take her with her when she moves out.

Moves out. I throw my head back in defeat. This is my life now.

I must have fallen asleep, my phone wakes me up. I check the time before I answer, it's close to nine at night.

“Hello.” I make a mental note to book my flight so I can leave tomorrow. I've missed two shows, that's enough.

“Harry! I have news.” It's Zoe, we've been waiting for paternity results. I figured my lawyer or the doctor would give me the news.

“Okay.” I'm glum.

“Well cheer up, Dad.” I swallow the lump in my throat.

“Dad?” I suddenly jerk upright.

“The results just came back, Lucas is yours! I've already started paperwork to change his last name to Styles. How exciting is this?” She asks, I can hear her smiling and I just can't share her joy at all. “Harry, say something.”

“OH, right. Yay. I'll have to meet him soon.” My son. I have a son. I'm a father. My life is just upside down right now.

“When do you have a break?” She asks.

“I don't know right of the top of my head, I'll have to check and get back to you. I'm sorry Zoe, I'm just really busy right now, I'll call you in a little bit.” I pinch the bridge of my nose.

“Ok, but don't keep us waiting, little Lucas wants to meet his daddy!” I hang up the phone and toss it on the table. I think for a minute and pick up the phone again quickly dialing the one person I need to most right now, thankfully she answers within the first ring.

“Harry!” She's cheerful but she'll be so disappointed in me soon.

“Mum?” It's all I can choke out before I start uncontrollably sobbing.

“Harry, Oh my God what's the matter?”

“Everything is wrong mum, everything. Zoe just told me I'm the father of Lucas, Elliot just kicked me out of the hospital and told me she never wants to see me again, everything is falling apart.” I try to choke back tears but they just keep coming.

“Oh Harry. What happened?”

I tell her everything. The phone conversation with Elliot, getting drunk and being with Lou, she already knew about the accident that Elliot was in, I've been updating her about everything. I finally told her about my fears of being a father, and now how irrational I am that I've been declared a father.

“Harry, everything will be okay.” She tries to tell me.

“No it won't be. I love Elliot and she never wants to see me ever again. I have a son, I'll have to go back to London to see him, I can't be in LA to win Elliot back. I have to finish this tour with Elliot in the hospital. I have to pretend to be happy and pretend that everything is okay when I'm falling apart.”

“Just give everything time Harry.” She tells me like I wish I could skip everything at get to that point.

“But mum, there's pictures of Lou and I, getting drunk together, going to a hotel, leaving a hotel.” I can't believe this.

“Elliot just needs her space, you're not the only one hurt in this situation. Take everything one day at a time and it will come to you.” She tries to tell me calmly. “First thing, you need to book your flight to rejoin the tour.” I slump back into the couch and almost as if on cue, “Harry, get up and book your flight.”

“Yes mum.” I mumble. I guess this is how life will just have to be.

Notes

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