and back again.
VI. SO CLOSE BUT SO FAR AWAY.
Ella bit away a piece of her chicken wrap and chewed slowly as she read through the obituaries in Monday morning's paper. She loved being the first one in the lunch room - it meant she was the first one to the paper and that she could read the obituaries in silence. Morbidly enough, it was one of her favorite parts of the day.
"Ella?"
Ella shivered at her boss's shrill voice coming from down the hall, "Back here."
Click. Clack. Click. Clack.
"Are you free the 3rd and 4th of June?" Trish asked, twirling her fiery red hair around her index finger.
Ella glanced at the calendar on her phone. Monday and Tuesday.
"Well, I'm working... why?"
"You're enrolled in one of those leadership courses in Chicago. Does that work?"
Ella nodded, "Sure."
"Okay, well come to my office after your lunch and we'll book your flight and hotel."
Trish clicked her way back down the hall and into the branch, and Ella fumbled to open Safari on her iPhone. She did the first Google search that came to her mind and was pleased with theresults: One Direction, June 2nd at Soldier Field. She knew the drill with training courses - the company would fly her to Chicago on Sunday afternoon and would fly her home on Tuesday evening immediately following the end of her course.
Ella's fingers hovered over the keys of her phone. She wanted to tell Harry. She wanted to tell Harry so badly. They had been texting for most of the past three days and he had not tried to hide his flirting, but Ella had to wonder if his candidness was due in part to the fact that he knew nothing could come of it. She was the taken girl that he could talk to when he wanted company, a title that Ella was perfectly fine with, and she didn't want to risk that title by putting him on the spot.
Ella inhaled as she traced her fingers across the screen. She could just tell him, point blank, and if he was interested in seeing her again then the ball would be in his court.
NEW CONVERSATION: MR. HANNIGAN
I will be in Chicago on June 2nd.
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
Really? That's a mean prank if you're joking.
REPLY: No joke! Work training. I don't want you to feel obligated, just wanted you to know.
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
Obligated?
REPLY: To make time to meet up with me. I know your schedule is packed.
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
You're insane. This is fantastic.
Ella felt her cheeks grow warm.
REPLY: Oh. Great :) Training is Monday and Tuesday. I would fly in on Sunday afternoon.
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
Are you allowed to fly in on Saturday? I can get you a room on our floor at the Hard Rock on Saturday night. More time to spend together that way & you can come to the show Sunday (if you want to).
Ella smiled at her screen. She knew that her company would fly her out on whatever day she chose but would only pay for her hotel on Sunday and Monday nights. She'd taken advantage of that on another occasion, to spend a night with her aunt and uncle who were coincidentally in Chicago on vacation. Would it really be that easy to see Harry again?
REPLY: Okay.
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
This made my day. I can't wait.
***
That Friday Ella sat at her desk, thumbing through reports that she just had no interest in completing, letting herself once again dwell in the guilt she was beginning to feel about lying to Eric yet again. After work on Monday she'd filled him in on her travel plans - how the company was sending her up on Saturday this time instead of Sunday so that she could participate in some kind of conference that was coincidentally taking place at the same time. She'd told him that it was a good opportunity to "rub elbows with some of the higher-ups" and he'd been excited for her. Ella couldn't figure out how lying to Eric had become so easy, so quickly. She had spent nearly every evening with him racked with guilt, yet it seemed that every time she opened her mouth, more lies poured out. The first night with Harry had been spontaneous but Chicago was planned. That was so much worse.
"Mailman," Ella's colleague, Jessica, chirped, as she poked her head inside Ella's office, offering a small USPS box.
"Thanks, Jess." Ella peered at the parcel; she hadn't been expecting anything and any real work-related mail typically arrived in the morning mail bag and not by couriered delivery. She glanced quickly at the sender's information. No address, just a name: Hannigan.
Once she knew Jessica was far enough away, Ella closed her office door, tilted her blinds, and gently peeled the tape from the parcel. She lifted the flaps of the box and withdrew the tissue-wrapped contents. A note card was taped to the top of the tissue.
Ella -
Saw this & thought of you. And one for Nicole, too. xx.
H.
Ella tore away the tissue and laughed out loud at the sight of two white tank tops inside. In thick black letters the words IF I DIE TODAY, TELL HARRY STYLES I LOVED HIM were emblazoned on the chest of the first, and Harry's name was replaced with Niall's on the other.
Ella grabbed her phone and snapped a photo of the Niall tank, then sent it to Harry with the caption "How'd you know Niall was my favorite?"
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
You're awful. ;)
REPLY: I try. Thank you so much. You didn't have to do that.
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
Saw them in Chinatown & it made me laugh. I thought of you immediately.
REPLY: I love it. Nicole will be thrilled. I'll tell her I found it online.
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
Brilliant. How is work?
REPLY: Much easier knowing the countdown is only two weeks.
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
Oh, good. I'm not the only one counting.
Ella folded the shirts and slipped them into her purse, and continued about her daily tasks. This was why the lying came so easy. Sure, when things had just begun with Eric he had made sweet gestures, but he'd never made her feel like this. Butterflies didn't cut it. She felt so much more than that.
***
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
I Googled you.
Ella glanced at her phone and smiled. Next to her she could hear Eric snoring softly into his pillow. It was nearing two o'clock and she was wide awake, watching Netflix on hushed volume, and hoping to hear from Harry after his show.
REPLY: Not as entertaining as Googling you, I'm sure.
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
Entertaining? Is that what they call tabloids these days? I'm on your YouTube page.
Ella's breath caught in her chest. She hadn't given any thought to what Harry might find about her if he started looking: the horrible pictures she was tagged in on Facebook, the lame Saturday nights she'd documented on Instagram, and most embarrassingly the handful of cover songs she'd uploaded to YouTube on rainy days off. She'd learned to play guitar at a young age and, on random occasions, gained enough confidence to record herself playing and singing some of her favorite songs for YouTube. She'd never told anyone - not even Eric.
REPLY: Oh God, Harry, please don't watch any of those.
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
Too late. You covered that song I sent you.
REPLY: It's a great song. Please stop watching. This is so embarrassing.
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
Embarrassing? Why? Your voice is spectacular.
Ella's cheeks grew warm as she read Harry's words. No one had ever commented on her voice before. Well, no one since her eighth-grade choir teacher, who had asked her to sing a solo in the Christmas pageant, but Ella had swiftly declined that offer. Forgetting that Eric was home one morning she'd belted out a Katy Perry tune in the shower, and had gotten out to find an angry text message from him reading SHUT UP. He hadn't hesitated to let her know that she'd disrupted his opportunity to sleep-in.
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
Ella?
REPLY: Thanks, Harry.
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
Have you been writing much lately?
REPLY: Actually, yes.
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGAN
I'd like to read what you write.
REPLY: Not a chance, Styles.
INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE: MR. HANNIGANI didn't think that would work. I'll keep trying though. Hey, six days,.
REPLY: Six days.
Welcome :)
8/7/14