Dear Harry

I’m sorry; I just wanted to tell you that first. I know it’s not enough, and it won’t fix anything but it’s a start. I’d write that word for pages if I thought it would help but I know it won’t. I feel like I need to explain this to you and I left for personal reasons, cowardly I know but I couldn’t do it any other way. I’m still not telling you because it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry this so late you never deserved what I must have put you through or am putting you through now. Because I love you, yes even though I left it was never because of you and don’t you dare blame yourself, I know you will though. I hope that because your reading this it means you probably will never see me again, honestly I hope this is the last time I cause you pain. I’m truly sorry, especially since we never got our happy ending; growing old together like we planned. I know you are going to grow to be the amazing man I knew. I hope you’ll follow your dreams and become everything you wanted to be and more.

Love Always,

Mickole Jacei Dearth

I woke groggily surprisingly not tired at all. “Ahhh you’re awake!” Alysia screamed hugging me. “Dusty!”

“Hi Alysia, so it worked?”

She nodded “They took you off the coma meds 24 hours ago but you decided to sleep for a day.”

I laughed “Sounds like me.” She busted up laughing nodding. It was as if nothing had changed. “So how’d the surgery go?”
“Good until they did the blood transfusions, you reacted badly to the blood and your body rejected one of the transfusions.
You flat lined four times for 4 minutes, 7 minutes, 14 minutes and 12 minutes.”

“Wow they really didn’t want me to die”

“Well you’d come back for a few heart beats every 3 minutes-ish so they couldn’t technically call it.” I laughed. “I sent the letter during the 14 minute period I wrote on the back that your last words were ‘I love you, Harry Styles’.”

“He’s never gonna forgive me for this.” I said laughing.

“He’s got on fine without you.” My eyes raised “Caroline Flack.”

“The X-Factor Host!” Alysia nodded “Who is twice our age?” she nodded “Again” She laughed and nodded “Oh eww, and I thought he had common sense!” we both burst out laughing, as the doctor walked in.

“Good to see you are up.” I smiled “So you have gone into remission, however, it is still a hard road ahead and as I’m sure your friend told you there were a few close calls in the procedure” I nodded “But your charts look fine and your parents will be in later and you can leave with them, we did try to keep your muscles from atrophy as much as possible through electric stimulus so even though we are confining you to a wheel chair for your release but you shouldn’t need it for long.” I nodded.

“Thank you doc.” I said smiling as he checked my vitals he left the room and I looked at Alysia “So glad I’m not dead” I sighed letting my head fall back on the pillows.

Alysia and I lounged around my house I had figured out I could stand for a few minutes, long enough to check my appearance in the mirror and walk around my room before I was too tired and had to sit down. My parents were really easy going about the whole thing since they had known I was fine and just healing for the last 6 months.

“Wanna go to a concert tonight?” Alysia asked looking at me.

“What concert?” I asked laughing.

“Umm your old boyfriend’s? I won tickets on the radio and I asked for wheel chair seating.” She said looking down.

“Yes!!” I screamed, “I haven’t heard him sing in so long I miss it. Let go get ready you can borrow some clothes.”

“Awesome! I didn’t know if you’d be up for it!” I smiled “ lets go get ready!” I found a cute dress that previously had never fit, but after 6 months in a coma I had lost a lot of weight and the size four dress zipped up with easy. “Wow, I lost a ton of weight.” I said as the dress fit perfectly Alysia looked up “This is a 4! I’m normally a 6!” Alysia’s mouth dropped at the information.

“Hey at least you look hot!” she said as I wheeled into the bathroom grabbing the long wig that had been styled to have ringlets alternating with barrel waves pulling it on and tucking my pixie length hair up into the wig, before tugging on a dark gray slouch beanie that I pinned in place with a white bow.

I had to sit down for a few while I pulled on the rest of my outfit. I looked over at Alysia who had found clothes a bright purple top gold belt with a tan and pink skirt “Damn girl look at that body!” I laughed as she grabbed the last bit of her outfit she smiled looking herself over in the mirror nodding. “So getting food on the way there?” She nodded.

“You know it!” she yelled as she ran out of the house to her Jeep I wheeled after her. She tossed my chair in the back as I hopped in the front seat. “So excited to see Harry again?” she asked me.

I nodded “Yeah I doubt he’ll recognize me though it’s been two years and I look pretty different, the chemo changed my hair color I used to be blonder than you” I said as we pulled off the highway toward food.

Alysia grabbed her hair and looked at it then to my now dark brown hair the back to hers “Damn! No wonder when you have a blonde moment its a serious one.” she exclaimed. I was laughing the whole time she was ordering. The boy taking our order must have thought we were insane. We sang to the radio the rest of the way to the concert. I had missed the radio and 6 months of new songs.

We pulled up at the venue and behind two black Escalades. The security gate opened for the two cars and shut again when it came to our turn 4 burly men walked up to the drivers side window. “Sorry miss you can’t go back there.”

Alysia scoffed “Like hell I can’t” she said handing him a piece of paper, the names Alysia Terranova and Nicky Darth should be on the list with radio 1 on Grimmys’ list.” She said handing him the printed out email.

“Sorry miss,” he said waving for them to let us through the gate.

As soon as we were passed the door I turned to her. “Why is my name on there as Nicky and Darth?”

She looked over at me “Mickole Dearth isn’t the most common name babe, the boys do see the lists besides you can always say I spelt it wrong or they miss heard me.” I nodded

I saw her point, it was a good one “Then I’ll go with Micky still my name but easily miss heard as Nicky,” I shook my head I need to stop freaking out, Harry would either figure it out or not, I still was betting on not. Either way though I’d deal with that obstacle when it arose. Alysia turned up the radio as a catchy new song started playing we cranked the bass and volume as we dropped the windows. We screamed out the chorus whistling to the tune, we pulled into a parking spot a few away from the Escalades a group of men moved to stand around the second Escalade as we pulled up. We looked over at the car “I think we got here at the same time as the boys.” Alysia nodded as I shrugged reaching down to grab the food tossing her the burrito she had ordered, I pulled out my own. “I’m never gonna be able to eat all of this!” Alysia laughed, “Oh hush you, I’ve miss real food.”

“Right sorry forgot about that” I shrugged as I grabbed her smoothie. “Hey! That’s my smoothie.”

“It is now my dinner, I can’t eat solid food, my stomach isn’t used to it.” She glared as I handed her my burrito. “Just give it to one of the boys I’m sure they’ll eat it.” I joked.

Notes