the 8tracks for this book is finally up!

8tracks: click here for the love countdown playlist

song for this chapter; Style - Taylor Swift

---

There were two things in this word that I had realized are not worth seeing.

One, are the marks on that final test you know you’ve failed, and two; Harry Styles crying.

Harry and sat side by side in the waiting area, our hands interlocked and my other running through his hair. I leaned my head on his shoulder and that’s when I heard sniffles. His hands became shaky and red, his eyes became wet and red rings circled his eyelids. The began running my fingers through his hair more softly, because I knew Harry was very sensitive at times, and so was I.

I had started to notice those types of things over the last few weeks with Harry, we both liked to write about our feelings, which meant we both had a diary filled to the brim with out thoughts. I had purposely left mine on Harry's bed so he could read all the things I thought about him, what I felt when he told me he loved me, or how I felt when I woke up i the hospital to see him sitting right beside me.

They say that when someone tells you, they love you, it doesn't mean you're automatically fixed from depression. Although Harry fixed me in so many ways, I still have my days where I think; What if I wasn't here anymore? It was so easy to slip back into my bad habits and forget about everyone around me, yet Harry seemed to know just how to make me happy.

He didn't shower me with expensive gifts, he showered me with kisses. He didn't bring home expensive diamonds, he brought home stories to tell about that day in the studio, he didn't buy my love, he earned it in every way possible. He was my heart and soul, I breathed him in and injected him into my veins, he was like a drug.

“Flight 745 will be boarding in thirty minutes.” The voice over rang through the airport and I felt Harry’s hand tighten in mine. I didn’t want to believe it, I was never going to see him again.

“I could always come visit you.” I murmured into Harry’s hair, our position had changed and now his head was buried into the crook of my shoulder.

“You know I’m never home,” He rasped. “I’m always going to be out doing something, a signing, a tour.” He sighed once more and I fiddled with the zipper of his jacket. He wore a white t-shirt and a black leather jacket. “It’s never going to be the same without you, you know.” I nodded in agreement, no one would ever be good enough to live up to Harry.


“I’m always going to be there,” He replied to my nod. “I’m always going to be in your phone whenever you need me.” He reassured me by lifting his head up and pressing a small kiss to my cheek, - God, how I would miss that. The way his soft, dark red lips pressed to mine were something out of a dream, no one would ever be able to stand up to Harry’s level.

“Do you want to go?” He questioned and my heart stopped.

I wasn’t ready just yet, just a few more minutes. I pleaded with myself but I knew I would miss my plane. “Can we just go home?” my voice wavered as I spilled the last word out of my mouth, home, was not with Harry anymore. It was not my home to live in. It was like Harry said, we were so close, yet so far away. We slept underneath the same moon and stars, yet we're apart. My started to pound relentlessly beneath my chest as Harry began to move out of my grasp, my body was left cold and lonely. It seemed as if it was how it would feel for the rest of my life.

Harry pulled my bag over his shoulder and extended his hand saying, “Come on, baby.” and I shook my head, gulping down tears that were ready to spill. I placed my hand in his and let him drag my softly to the escalators. My hand had squeezed Harry’s that my knuckles turned white, I didn’t want to be alone, neither of us did. That was the entire point of a soulmate.

“I love you.” He whispered and ran a thumb over my cheek, catching the runaway tears that had subconsciously creeped out of my eyes unnoticed.

“I love you too.” I replied just as a sob erupted from my body, and before I knew it I was engulfed into a hug, immediately dropping my bags onto the floor to clutch desperately onto the back of Harry’s shirt. The collar of my sweater began to dampen and so did Harry’s.

“You know, you’re the first girl I’ve ever loved.” He whispered softly, and damn did I know it. So many things had happened between us it was unbelievable, I wanted every inch of Harry, all to myself. From his dark, long hair, to the freckles on his back. It was so incredibly painful how much I wanted him, craved him. Without Harry I wouldn’t be where I was today, we were each other’s saviors.

“Kiss me, please.” He begged and I nodded before pressing my lips gently to his. No matter how hard I crushed our lips together, it wouldn’t take the pain away. My hands wrapped around his neck while his proceeded to run up and down the sides of my body, creating a slight friction and warmth, yet nothing at this moment could overcome the coldness in my heart, we pulled away for a short few seconds before I pressed my lips to his neck and he spoke, “I’m giving myself to you. Every last piece of me.” I whimpered and buried my face into his neck, the dark red splotch on his neck being the only symbol of me to him when I left, but it would eventually fade.

“I love you, so much.” I finally spoke. “I’m going to miss you.” I said and he nodded.

“Ring me when you get there.” He whispered and I nodded. He placed a loose strand of hair behind my ear and spoke, “No one will ever come between us, you know that?” and I nodded.

“Goodbye, Harry.” I whispered before unraveling myself from his grasp.

“Goodbye, Libby.” He replied.


And that was the last time I ever saw Harry Styles.

Notes