The Love Countdown
twenty one;
Don't know whether I like this chapter or not, beware that if you don't like self harm please read at your own risk.
*****************************************************************************************************
The first part of this chapter will be in third person}
One month later.
Liberty stands there in front of her mirror. Her fists were clenched and a deep scowl was etched onto her face.
“Pathetic” She taunted herself for the umpteenth time that day.
In her hand lay a dozen or so Tylenol pills. Which is roughly a packet and a half. Her hands were shaking and she had scratch marks and cuts all over her body from the constant voices inside her head.
“Kill yourself” They whispered. “No one cares” Her eyes were twitching in anger and anxiousness. She was home alone today, and they had gotten the best of her. Her tear stained cheeks were red raw from the contestant rubbing of her eyes. She’d written a suicide note to Harry. Claiming that it was better this way.
People hadn’t stopped. For the past month it was either death threats or snarky remarks on ‘how she shouldn’t be with Harry’ or that she’s ‘fat and ugly and should just kill herself and make the world a better place.’
She hadn’t talked to Harry in about two weeks. Only replying to his long, thought out texts with three word long sentences of ‘I need space’
Harry was okay with that. He had bigger problems to deal with than seeing his girlfriend. Because if she wanted space, then he’d give it to her.
“I hate you” She sobbed to herself.
Her head fell into her hands as she cried harder. “I hate you!” She said with more anger in her voice. She roughly screamed into her palms and clawed at her throat.
“I can’t do this anymore” She croaked, her voice muffled in her hands.
Liberty’s phone had been thrown at the wall earlier in the day. Resulting in it smashing to pieces.
She abruptly turned on the balls of her feet and walked out into her bedroom, stepping onto the tiny shards of glass along the way; to numb the pain.
As she slithered into her bed, with bloody feet and weak limbs. She grabbed the glass of water that was sat on her bedside table. The pills still in her hand.
She cried harder now, finally getting a glimpse of reality at what she was about to do. But she didn’t care. Not about Harry, or Maddy or her parents. She didn’t even care about herself or how others would feel if she died.
She started off by swallowing three. Then doubling the amount of pills until she had taken all of them. She wasn’t crying anymore. All her tears had been used up, and now it was only a matter of waiting.
Liberty closed her eyes tightly, hoping to drift off into a peaceful sleep and to never wake up. Which is exactly what happened.
*****
Harry thought that today he should go and see if Liberty was alright. Sure, he didn’t mind that they hadn’t seen each other in while; he would be a lot more calmer when he got any sort of communication from her.
He stood in the small elevator of Liberty’s apartment building, lightly tapping on his phone, sending a message to Liam.
The doors opened to Liberty’s floor and Harry slipped his phone back into the pocket of his jumper. It was cold today, and Harry was rugged up; a black beanie on his head and a coat that was about thirty inches thick.
He knocked quietly on the wood of her apartment door, but didn’t get an answer. Harry knocked again but this time a little louder- still no answer.
Harry was beginning to get worried, because she never left the apartment without texting Harry. He stretched up on his toes and ran his fingers over the top of the door, he brought down a spare key that only him and Louis knew about and pushed it into the door.
He ever so slowly turned the knob, “Libby?” He asked into the air, but no response. The TV was on – but no one was watching.
Harry’s hands started to shake uncontrollably as he jogged into the hallway. “Liberty!” He yelled. “It’s Harry!”
He searched into the laundry and computer room, but no sign of her. The kitchen was empty and so was the spare bedroom.
A sigh of relief came from his lips as he found her sleeping in her bedroom. All snuggled up into the covers. “Libby,” He whispered and placed a hand on her cheek. She felt cold.
“Liberty, wake up” he said a little more frantically.
When he knew something was off, he immediately checked her pulse. It was instinct.
No heartbeat, no breathing.
Harrys mind went into overload as he thought of what had happened. The first thing he needed to do was call someone.
He dialled the emergency number and racked his fingers through his hair.
“Hello?” an old woman answered.
“My girlfriend isn’t breathing,” He managed to choke out. His eyes were brimming with tears as he paced back and forth.
“Okay sir I need you to tell me where you are. Calm down love,” the woman said in a serious tone.
“On the corner of Winchester Street, the apartment building,” Harry cried into the phone.
“Okay sir we’re sending an ambulance now. Stay calm.”
Harry hung up the phone and faced Liberty. He grasped her wrists and felt bumpy lines on the inside. He didn’t care at the moment; all he wanted to do was keep his girlfriend alive. He had so many people die on him before, but this was the person he truly loved. The girl who everyone thought was too young for him, and that it would never work out.
Harry dragged her lifeless body out of her bed and pulled her along to the bathroom.
“Don’t you die on me!” He screamed through his tears. “Don’t you die”
He hauled her into the small bath tub in her bathroom and pulled the curtain across, shielding them away from the world. He whipped the water on boiling hot, covering his body and hers in water.
“You’re gonna stay with me!” He yelled again and put two fingers in her mouth, starting up her gag reflex.
Her body was lifeless but it was still able to react to touches. She’d thrown most of them up, but she still wasn’t breathing.
“Liberty Goddamn Williamson,” He mumbled into her t-shirt. His eyes were red raw and his throat was dry.
Suddenly, a loud bang came from outside. “Emergency Services!” They called and Harry screamed they were inside the bathroom. In a matter of seconds the curtain was yanked back and before Harry knew it they had Liberty out of his grip.
She was put onto a stretcher and a face mask was put over her face.
“Okay,” The officer said. “We’re going to need to get her to a hospital,”
Harry sits there in the bath tub still with his hands covering his legs. He was curled into a ball and sobbing.
“Are you coming, Mr. Styles,” A lady asked and Harry looked up. He simply nodded and grabbed the nurses hand to help him out of the tub. He quickly covered himself in a towel and before he knew it they were rushing down the building and into an ambulance.
****
“Mr. Styles?” A young woman in a blue shirt and black pants asked.
“Yeah” Harry quietly said.
“You can go see her now.”
~~~
As I entered the hallway, and walked down to your room, I saw you lying there, peacefully sleeping. You looked happy.
But then I noticed your wrists and how the bandages were stained red. I sat down beside you, and saw all of the scars covering you arm, and then I realized how many times you needed someone, and how many times, I was not there.
I didn’t know whether to talk to you or just sit and watch you, so I decided on both.
“Hey, Lib,” I said softly. The only thing I could here was the beeping of your heart monitor.
They’d managed to get you breathing again, but they didn’t know for how long.
I sat there in silence and stared at you. I picked up your hands and ran my thumb gently over your knuckles. They were white and your hands were fragile – like a dead person.
“I’m sorry,” I cried, my voice cracked and I let go of your hand. I was shivering from the cold, my clothes were still a little damp but it was enough to make me shiver combined with the freezing cold air conditioning.
“I-I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most,” I wiped at my eyes. “I promised you that I’d always be there for you and I never was. I’m so Goddamn sorry, Lib”
“They don’t know whether to take you off life support,” I curled my fists at this. I demanded that they keep trying. Because no matter what I was going to fight for this girl to be alive, no matter how hard it was.
“Fuck- I’m so angry with myself,” I placed my head in my hands and let out a low grunt. My fingers pulling at my hair.
“Libby I love you,” I spoke louder this time, hoping you would hear me.
“I’ve loved you since the day you became my girlfriend. A-and I don’t k-know whether I’ll be able to live with myself if you die,” I sniffed loudly and a loud sob racked my body. “I need to lie next to you, listen to your music, hold your hands and talk with you about everything. Make you smile,, give you kisses on your cheek, kiss your lips, run my hands up your sides and pull you close. Then fall asleep with you in my arms knowing that for once, everything is going to be okay,”
“You’re such a strong person, and I can’t believe it had to end like this.” I pushed myself closer to your bed and entwined our fingers together. “You deserve so much better than this.”
“All I want for you is to be happy; I don’t give a flying fuck about what happens to me.”
Dark rings had formed around your eyes and the soft sound of your breathing shuddered my body. To actually think that your body could just give up any minute was heartbreaking.
The doctors had needles stuck into your arms and a punch full of some antibiotic next to you. They’d pumped your body dry of the pills and had managed to get your heart at a normal speed again. But they didn’t say if you’d make it or not.
“Liberty I want you to promise me one thing,” I started in a shaky voice.
“I want you to stay alive for me. You hear that?” I squeezed her hand. “I don’t care whether you think no one likes you or hates the fact that you’re with me, or that no one loves you,”
I sucked in a breath, “Because I love you, and that’s all that matters.”
*****************************************************************************************************
The first part of this chapter will be in third person}
One month later.
Liberty stands there in front of her mirror. Her fists were clenched and a deep scowl was etched onto her face.
“Pathetic” She taunted herself for the umpteenth time that day.
In her hand lay a dozen or so Tylenol pills. Which is roughly a packet and a half. Her hands were shaking and she had scratch marks and cuts all over her body from the constant voices inside her head.
“Kill yourself” They whispered. “No one cares” Her eyes were twitching in anger and anxiousness. She was home alone today, and they had gotten the best of her. Her tear stained cheeks were red raw from the contestant rubbing of her eyes. She’d written a suicide note to Harry. Claiming that it was better this way.
People hadn’t stopped. For the past month it was either death threats or snarky remarks on ‘how she shouldn’t be with Harry’ or that she’s ‘fat and ugly and should just kill herself and make the world a better place.’
She hadn’t talked to Harry in about two weeks. Only replying to his long, thought out texts with three word long sentences of ‘I need space’
Harry was okay with that. He had bigger problems to deal with than seeing his girlfriend. Because if she wanted space, then he’d give it to her.
“I hate you” She sobbed to herself.
Her head fell into her hands as she cried harder. “I hate you!” She said with more anger in her voice. She roughly screamed into her palms and clawed at her throat.
“I can’t do this anymore” She croaked, her voice muffled in her hands.
Liberty’s phone had been thrown at the wall earlier in the day. Resulting in it smashing to pieces.
She abruptly turned on the balls of her feet and walked out into her bedroom, stepping onto the tiny shards of glass along the way; to numb the pain.
As she slithered into her bed, with bloody feet and weak limbs. She grabbed the glass of water that was sat on her bedside table. The pills still in her hand.
She cried harder now, finally getting a glimpse of reality at what she was about to do. But she didn’t care. Not about Harry, or Maddy or her parents. She didn’t even care about herself or how others would feel if she died.
She started off by swallowing three. Then doubling the amount of pills until she had taken all of them. She wasn’t crying anymore. All her tears had been used up, and now it was only a matter of waiting.
Liberty closed her eyes tightly, hoping to drift off into a peaceful sleep and to never wake up. Which is exactly what happened.
*****
Harry thought that today he should go and see if Liberty was alright. Sure, he didn’t mind that they hadn’t seen each other in while; he would be a lot more calmer when he got any sort of communication from her.
He stood in the small elevator of Liberty’s apartment building, lightly tapping on his phone, sending a message to Liam.
The doors opened to Liberty’s floor and Harry slipped his phone back into the pocket of his jumper. It was cold today, and Harry was rugged up; a black beanie on his head and a coat that was about thirty inches thick.
He knocked quietly on the wood of her apartment door, but didn’t get an answer. Harry knocked again but this time a little louder- still no answer.
Harry was beginning to get worried, because she never left the apartment without texting Harry. He stretched up on his toes and ran his fingers over the top of the door, he brought down a spare key that only him and Louis knew about and pushed it into the door.
He ever so slowly turned the knob, “Libby?” He asked into the air, but no response. The TV was on – but no one was watching.
Harry’s hands started to shake uncontrollably as he jogged into the hallway. “Liberty!” He yelled. “It’s Harry!”
He searched into the laundry and computer room, but no sign of her. The kitchen was empty and so was the spare bedroom.
A sigh of relief came from his lips as he found her sleeping in her bedroom. All snuggled up into the covers. “Libby,” He whispered and placed a hand on her cheek. She felt cold.
“Liberty, wake up” he said a little more frantically.
When he knew something was off, he immediately checked her pulse. It was instinct.
No heartbeat, no breathing.
Harrys mind went into overload as he thought of what had happened. The first thing he needed to do was call someone.
He dialled the emergency number and racked his fingers through his hair.
“Hello?” an old woman answered.
“My girlfriend isn’t breathing,” He managed to choke out. His eyes were brimming with tears as he paced back and forth.
“Okay sir I need you to tell me where you are. Calm down love,” the woman said in a serious tone.
“On the corner of Winchester Street, the apartment building,” Harry cried into the phone.
“Okay sir we’re sending an ambulance now. Stay calm.”
Harry hung up the phone and faced Liberty. He grasped her wrists and felt bumpy lines on the inside. He didn’t care at the moment; all he wanted to do was keep his girlfriend alive. He had so many people die on him before, but this was the person he truly loved. The girl who everyone thought was too young for him, and that it would never work out.
Harry dragged her lifeless body out of her bed and pulled her along to the bathroom.
“Don’t you die on me!” He screamed through his tears. “Don’t you die”
He hauled her into the small bath tub in her bathroom and pulled the curtain across, shielding them away from the world. He whipped the water on boiling hot, covering his body and hers in water.
“You’re gonna stay with me!” He yelled again and put two fingers in her mouth, starting up her gag reflex.
Her body was lifeless but it was still able to react to touches. She’d thrown most of them up, but she still wasn’t breathing.
“Liberty Goddamn Williamson,” He mumbled into her t-shirt. His eyes were red raw and his throat was dry.
Suddenly, a loud bang came from outside. “Emergency Services!” They called and Harry screamed they were inside the bathroom. In a matter of seconds the curtain was yanked back and before Harry knew it they had Liberty out of his grip.
She was put onto a stretcher and a face mask was put over her face.
“Okay,” The officer said. “We’re going to need to get her to a hospital,”
Harry sits there in the bath tub still with his hands covering his legs. He was curled into a ball and sobbing.
“Are you coming, Mr. Styles,” A lady asked and Harry looked up. He simply nodded and grabbed the nurses hand to help him out of the tub. He quickly covered himself in a towel and before he knew it they were rushing down the building and into an ambulance.
****
“Mr. Styles?” A young woman in a blue shirt and black pants asked.
“Yeah” Harry quietly said.
“You can go see her now.”
~~~
As I entered the hallway, and walked down to your room, I saw you lying there, peacefully sleeping. You looked happy.
But then I noticed your wrists and how the bandages were stained red. I sat down beside you, and saw all of the scars covering you arm, and then I realized how many times you needed someone, and how many times, I was not there.
I didn’t know whether to talk to you or just sit and watch you, so I decided on both.
“Hey, Lib,” I said softly. The only thing I could here was the beeping of your heart monitor.
They’d managed to get you breathing again, but they didn’t know for how long.
I sat there in silence and stared at you. I picked up your hands and ran my thumb gently over your knuckles. They were white and your hands were fragile – like a dead person.
“I’m sorry,” I cried, my voice cracked and I let go of your hand. I was shivering from the cold, my clothes were still a little damp but it was enough to make me shiver combined with the freezing cold air conditioning.
“I-I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most,” I wiped at my eyes. “I promised you that I’d always be there for you and I never was. I’m so Goddamn sorry, Lib”
“They don’t know whether to take you off life support,” I curled my fists at this. I demanded that they keep trying. Because no matter what I was going to fight for this girl to be alive, no matter how hard it was.
“Fuck- I’m so angry with myself,” I placed my head in my hands and let out a low grunt. My fingers pulling at my hair.
“Libby I love you,” I spoke louder this time, hoping you would hear me.
“I’ve loved you since the day you became my girlfriend. A-and I don’t k-know whether I’ll be able to live with myself if you die,” I sniffed loudly and a loud sob racked my body. “I need to lie next to you, listen to your music, hold your hands and talk with you about everything. Make you smile,, give you kisses on your cheek, kiss your lips, run my hands up your sides and pull you close. Then fall asleep with you in my arms knowing that for once, everything is going to be okay,”
“You’re such a strong person, and I can’t believe it had to end like this.” I pushed myself closer to your bed and entwined our fingers together. “You deserve so much better than this.”
“All I want for you is to be happy; I don’t give a flying fuck about what happens to me.”
Dark rings had formed around your eyes and the soft sound of your breathing shuddered my body. To actually think that your body could just give up any minute was heartbreaking.
The doctors had needles stuck into your arms and a punch full of some antibiotic next to you. They’d pumped your body dry of the pills and had managed to get your heart at a normal speed again. But they didn’t say if you’d make it or not.
“Liberty I want you to promise me one thing,” I started in a shaky voice.
“I want you to stay alive for me. You hear that?” I squeezed her hand. “I don’t care whether you think no one likes you or hates the fact that you’re with me, or that no one loves you,”
I sucked in a breath, “Because I love you, and that’s all that matters.”
Notes
This chapter is written in a really weird like tense?????idk I felt really sad after writing this
pls comment vote and subscribe and tell me what you think
I've also had some people message me about whether or not i'll end this story soon. I've actually decided that yes, I will end this story at 30 chapters because I'm running out of ideas and the story I made for this story was that Libby tried to commit suicide at the END of the book.
I do have another book coming out soon. :)))
guys i wrote a new story on wattpad like idk a week ago and you should check it out:
sexy link
So that's it from me, if you wanna ask me anything my tumblr is right there
tumblr yaaay
STAY FAB xx
OMFG DID I TELL YOU GUYS THAT MY FRIEND WAS READING FANFICS ON THIS WEBSITE TODAY IN FOOD STUDIES AND I LEGIT HAD A PANIC ATTACK BECAUSE WHEN SHE WAS SCROLLING THROUGH THE STORIES MY STORY WAS THERE AND OMFG I COULD HAVE DIED
Yaaaass! I can't wait for the sequel! Congrats on the seats! Have fun at the concert!
2/10/15