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Mibba

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THE DEATH OF ME

The day after

I wake at 8 and at first I feel discombobulated, not sure where I am and what is going on, but seconds later the pain is back and so is the sadness. I reach out for a pill and this time I take two in one go before stepping out of bed and strolling to the bathroom.
When I reach the door, it is closed and locked.
"Who's in here? I need a wee," I bang on the door while mumbling.
"Wait your turn," Sarah's voice answers from inside.
I wait outside the door for 2 long minutes until she finally comes out, leaving a strong smell of perfumer after her. I crinkle my nose as I shut the door after me. This is mad. I cannot stay at home with this twat.
I make up my mind to go back to school today. Anything so I won't need to stay home with this manifestation of a girl.
I find a crinkled up shirt thrown at the back of my closet, and even though it is one of my old ones from before, I put it on. I slid the tie over my head, not attempting to make sure it is sitting correctly.
I can't find tights so I just slid on my feet knee high black socks and don't attempt to tie up my shoe laces.
I grab my leather jacket and Harry's beanie since I did nothing with my hair and storm out of my room, but not before I slid my pills into my pocket.
I reach the landing and walk straight to the front door, passing a sleeping Harry and a reading Sam without another word.
"Cassie- where are you going?" Sam calls out after me.
"School," I mumble to myself and shut the door.
I take a deep breath and start striding the familiar way to school. I know classes have started already but I have no doubt I will be allowed in due to my situation.
The air is cool on my face, freezing actually, but I don’t mind it at all, I like it. It is an invited pain, a new kind to make me forget about the old pain in my heart.
When I get to school my face is numb by the cold, and I am sure my cheeks are bright red as well.
I take a deep breath and open the classroom door. As I expected all eyes turn to me, and almost immediately the buzzing of their whispers fills the room.
"Cassie, I didn't expect you back so soon," Mr. Fixen comments with raised brows.
I give him a shrug and take a step into the room. I take my seat next to Liam who is eyeing me with a worried frown.
"Ok class, please calm down, as you know Cassie has been through enough, you don't need to add to it with your gossip," Mr. Fixen says while holding up his hands for quiet.
"What?" I whisper to Liam, "Did you miss me?" I wink.
"What is wrong with you?" He whispers back, "Why the hell are you here? Does Harry know you came to school?"
"Harry isn't the boss of me, and I had to get out of the house- are you judging me or something?" I inquire.
"No Cass, you know I'm not, I just- I didn't think I would see you at school for a while.. That's it."
"I had to get out of that house," I state, taking out my bottle of pills and opening it. I am running low, and I make a mental note to get more.
"You went through that quite fast don't you think?" Liam remarks, giving the bottle in my hand a nod.
"Mind your own business why don't you," I snap.
The bell rings then, and Mr. Fixen lets the class go.
"Cassie, I would like a word with you please," He calls out to me. I nod and stay behind as my classmates leave, whispering and staring at me as they do.
"How are you Cassie?" He questions as the last student leaves the room.
"Same," I shrug.
"I thought you would be out for the rest of the week at least," He says.
"Well, I felt like coming today.. Had to get out you know?" I look up at him, my hands slightly shaking so I hide them behind my back.
"I can see that happening.. Well if you need anything, don't be shy to ask, and take your time, don't worry about missing too much, alright?" He smiles kindly at me.
"Very well, thank you," I breathe and turn to walk out, leaving him behind.
"Cassie!" Calum calls out as I stride down the corridor.
"Oh, hi," I nod to him.
"What the hell are you doing here?" He raises his brows at me.
"If I would get a pound for everytime someone asks me that question," I let out a giggle.
“Nice to hear you laughing,” He replies though he doesn’t seem like it, but as if he is finding all of this a bit weird.
We continue on our walk down the hall before Calum speaks again.
"I would have gone somewhere else not school," He sighs.
"Well, I had no better place to go," I stammer.
"Cassie!"
I don't need to look up to know who that booming voice belongs to.
"Shit," I breathe glancing over at Calum.
"What the hell do you think you are doing here?" Harry tugs at my shoulder.
"Leave me be Harry, I felt like going to school, what is it to you?!" I snap, recoiling from him.
I notice the kids in the hallway watching. Someone even has their phone out, great.
"I know it's a difficult time for you, but you could have at least told me where you're at, Sam and I have been calling you," He frowns down at me with a clench jaw, trying hard to keep his temper.
"Sam and I," I mimic him.
"Come," He pulls on my sleeve.
"No- and you- stop filming!" I shout at the girl holding up her phone. Harry swipes his head to her direction. His brows come straight down over his eyes that have long turned dark and with two long strides her phone is in his big hands. I am sure he is about to smash it and by the look on the girls face she is too, but instead Harry deletes the recording and gives it back to her.
"If I see a video or read an article about this I will hunt you down- understood?" He warns her, sending a warning glance all around to the rest of the crowd.
The silence could have been deafening.
"You come with me right now!" Harry pulls me after him in such a scary manner, that I just follow him, fixing my eyes on his boots, too ashamed to look at the faces of my classmates.
"What on earth where you thinking?" Harry turns to me once we reach the car park.
"I am allowed to roam as I please Harry, you are not the boss of me," I pull my hand out of his now.
"What has gotten into you?! This is not you to act this way," He says in a calmer voice, though he is far from calm, only trying different tactics to reason with me.
"Maybe this is me? Did you ever stop to ask yourself that? Maybe I am done following you around and doing everything you tell me to do?! I am done with your over protected smothering persona!" I scream at him.
"Alright Cassie, yell- scream at me- let it all out!" Harry holds his arms open a mocking smile on his lips.
"Screw you Harry!" I whisper, taking a step back, then turning and heading back to school.
"Where do you think you're going?" Harry calls after me.
"Anywhere that is away from you!" I reply.
"Can you stop being such a baby?"
"I can stop- all of this can stop- we are done!" I throw over my shoulder at him. I don't look back again.
When I reach the front doors of the main building Liam is stood there with Calum, they both watching me.
"What?" I mumble.
"Liam owes me 5 pounds, I told him you'll be back, he said Harry will never let you back to school," Calum smirks.
"Well Harry doesn't tell me what to do anymore," I state.
"Since when?" Liam questions following me and Calum back into school.
"Since now, I just broke up with him," I shrug, taking out another pill and popping it into my mouth.
"NO shit!" Calum is gobsmacked.
"Cassie, that was stupid," Liam remarks in a dry voice.
"Don't worry, they'll be back together by the end of the day," Calum chuckles.
There chatting is annoying me so I tell them I need a wee and see them at the next class. I walk into the girl’s bathroom and lean on the closed door.
This is not me. I don’t know what is happening, but I can’t shake out of it, and far more, I’m not sure I want to.
I wait 5 minutes after the last bell before I leave the bathroom, making sure not to run into anyone on my way to class.
I take my time pacing, fishing out my pills once more, to find the box empty.
“To bad ha?”
I turn to find a boy with a punk look to him, some pink hair and tight black ripped jeans.
“Pardon?” I raise a brow not sure if he is indeed talking to me.
“What are those? Pain killers? I could hook you up with more if you’d like,” He shrugs, a cheeky smile painted on his lips.
“Who are you?” I question, folding my arms as I give him a once over. If Harry was here he would have this kid smacked up against the wall warning him to never talk or look at me again, and then he would give me shit for even answering him, which makes me want to talk to him even more.
“Michael, nice to meet you,” He stretches out a fist to me. I stand there looking at him, confused.
“Nah, nah Bambi, if you want me help you need to know how I hang, come here.”
He shifts closer to me and takes hold of my right hand, closing it into a fist and bumping it to his. Once our fists collide he opens his hand, making me open my own, twisting it to the side and kind of high fiving my hand, but sideways.
“You’ll get the hang of it,” He winks at me. “Come on Bambi, let’s get you some more pain killers.
I know better than to follow this Michael out of school, but since I am as everyone keeps reminding me, in the grieving stage, I know I’ll be forgiven. So When Michael reaches out his hand for me to take, I do, adding a skip to my stride so I could keep up with him.
For the first time in days I am not Cassie who was left alone. I am Cassie who does what she wants without giving a flying cow about what anyone thinks, and for know I like this Cassie better.

Notes

Hello there,
So I know I said I will only be updating on Sundays, but I was thinking I might give you guys a present and update in the middle of the week too at least this week.. What do you say? Want a fast update? Want to know what is up with Cassie and Harry?
Let me know bellow..
Don't forget to vote this story if you haven't yet xx

Comments

@Allie Miller
Wow! Thank you for reading poppet! you're the best!
Hope you're enjoying it xx

@raylee
I finished it and starting sequel yay

@Allie Miller
Glad you're enjoying it xx there is a sequl out too when you're ready =))

Oh Em Gee!!! Absolutely love this

I'm only on chapter 2 and already loving it!!!!