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Mibba

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THE DEATH OF ME

Beep

Liam walks me out to the car park, carrying my bag as he promised Harry. I was nervous of the reason Sam is here so early and the intensity in his voice, which stopped me from questioning the reason and made me rush up and out pacing as swiftly as I can towards him.
“What happened?” Liam inquires.
“I don’t know but it sounded urgent,” I mumble.
When Sam spots us he gets out the car and walks towards us reaching out for my bag taking it from Liam and thanking him for keeping me company.
I promise Liam I will call him later, and then turn to get into the passenger seat, while Sam holds the door open for me.
“What is going on?” I question him once he is sat beside me.
“It’s Nan.. We need to go to the hospital,” He starts the car.
“Is she alright? Did she wake up?” I hurry to ask, not letting myself get excited just yet.
“No, that’s the thing…” He lets his sentence just hang there.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I furrow my brows at him.
“Cassie.. It’s just that… Let’s get to the hospital and talk to the doctors ok?” He drives along Sixth Street, passing Harry’s and mine street lamp, making me think of calling Harry and asking him to come, but I decide against it, knowing him and Sam don’t really get along, and since Nan is Sam’s mum after all, he might not want to have Harry there in such a time.
I know Sam has no good news, and neither do the doctors, but I still hope for the best, telling myself I lost so much, there is no way I will be losing anything more.

When we finally arrive at the hospital, Sam puts my bag at the boot and then we walk side by side inside silently.
We go straight up to Nan’s room. When I walk through the doors I am surprised to see a girl there. She is sat by Nan’s bed- where I sit, and was holding the hand that I hold.
“Umm.. Who are you?” I question, stepping closer, hoping that once she notices me she’ll move out of my seat. The girl studies me for a moment and then turns to Sam.
“You haven’t told her have you? Classy dad,” She rolls her eyes.
“Dad? Does this mean she is- you have a daughter?” I am once again finding myself with a mouth hanging open.
“Smart thing you are, usually that’s what it means,” The girl taunts me.
“Sarah don’t be rude,” Sam tells her off. So this is Sarah from the other day. Great.
I look at Sarah, she has strawberry blond hair and a cocky air about her.
“So when are they doing it? Now?” She questions getting up from her chair.
“Sarah! We spoke about this!” Sam tells her off.
“Doing what?” I question looking back at Sam.
“Gosh, you haven’t told her anything have you? call me when it’s going to be done then,” Sarah pulls a face while storming out of the room.
“What the hell Sam?!” I question angrily.
“Cassie, let me explain-“
“Explain what? That you have a daughter? That you never mentioned her to me before? That Nan has never mentioned? That she’s a brat?! This is what you pulled me out of school for?” I am hurt and angry, wishing I have never answered his phone call.
“No- it’s not the reason.. Look Cassie, Nan only met Sarah a few months ago, when she came to stay with us for a few days,” Sam says gently. I take the seat Sarah was sat at just before and look at Nan.
“She didn’t stay with you,” I shake my head.
“She did, but you were told she was at Linda’s,” Sam whispers.
I was lied to again. I blink away the tears, trying not to think about Nan yelling at me for my lies, while all this time she was lying to me herself.
“Look, I only found out about Sarah a few years ago, and thing really got bad with her and her mum the last year so she moved in with me and-“
“How is it you only found out about her and then she moves in? This is so messed up!” I remark coldly.
“I know, she just showed up at my door this one day and told me I’m her father.. I didn’t really have a choice, listen Cassie, we’ll talk about this later, it’s not the reason you are here,” He tries to reason.
“Why is she here?” I question.
“Because I’m here dad, and she like you, isn’t 18 yet.. And she is here for the same reason you are,” He says in a low voice.
“What is it then?” I snap.
“Not in here,” He gestures to the door, and I rise reluctantly out of my seat and follow him out. Sam shuts the door after him and folds his arms.
“Cass, I know you wish for Nan to wake up, I know you dislike me, I know you had it tough, and I’m sorry I can’t change it,” He sighs.
I stare up at him, waiting for him to continue without replying, since I have nothing to answer him with.
“I wish I could make everything better for you, and I wish Nan would wake up, but she won’t.”
So this is it. This is the reason I was brought here now. It is the time for this talk. I knew it was coming, but I thought I had more time. More time to prepare myself. But even though I knew it was coming, I guess I know now nothing can prepare you for such a thing.
“You can’t be sure of it, we just need to keep hoping and the doctors should keep trying-“
“Dammit Cassie! She is brain dead! DO you know what that means?! She can’t do anything on her own! She can’t breathe on her own- she has a machine doing the work for her.”
I recoil back at his harsh words and the burst of truth. I feel my cheeks grow hot and the warmness behind my eyes where the tears gather.
“I’m sorry.. God! I’m sorry it came out that way.. look, I know she raised you, and I know it’s shocking, and heart aching, she is my mum as well, so I know how much it hurts, but we knew this is it, we knew it for a while, and I convinced the doctors and paid a lot of money to keep the machines going a while longer to give you some more time with Nan.. But we can’t any longer.. Cass, it’s time to say goodbye,” Sam says gently, touching my shoulder as he stepped closer, looking down at my face.
My cheeks are marked with tears streaming down silently as I let his words sink in.
I need to say goodbye to Nan.
“I can’t,” I whisper.
“You must love, I know it’s painful, I know you lost too much for someone your age, but we must let her go… She’ll be in a better place, she won’t feel a thing,” Sam hugs me softly. His voice shakes and I know he is trying his best to hold back tears.
“But I can’t.. She is all I have- what will I do? What will I do without her?” I sob as Sam pets my hair.
“It’s going to be hard at first, but you will get used to the new reality, you’ll push through it I promise you,” He mummers in my ear.
“Do you want me to call Harry?” He lets go and pulls back. I nod and hand over my phone.
“You should go in, before the doctors come, have some alone time with her,” Sam suggests.
I nod and wipe my tears as I open the door and step into the room.

I stroll over to her bed and kneel on the floor. I bend my head and lay it down on Nan’s tummy, letting the sobs escape me.
“I know I should let you go, I know it’s the right thing to do, but I can’t.. You are everything to me Nan, what will I do without you? You were always there, always there to cuddle and say loving words, give me advice and tell me off when I needed to be told off, what will I do now? I Love you too much to let them take you away,” I sob.
“Sam has Sarah to take care of- he won’t have time for me too, and child service…”
“I love you Nan, you are the best parent anyone could wish for, and I am sure mum and dad watched over and are happy with the job you did of raising me, and you should know that when my turn to be a parent will come I will be just like you.. I will, and I will tell them all about my wonderful Nan..” I sit up and look at her face. I wish I could look at her without the tubes and all.
“I’ll be alright Nan, you don’t need to worry about me, you can go and join mum.. I know I said I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ll be fine, you showed me how to survive and I will, and I have Harry and Eleanor and Perrie, I have a good set of friends that will look after me for you. You can go peacefully,” I wipe my tears, though they keep falling down my cheeks.
“And thank you Nan, for being so amazing, for loving me unconditionally and turning your world upside down so mine could be as perfect as it could, I love you.”

The door opens and Dr. Dean walks in, followed by two nurses, Sam and Sarah.
Sam’s eyes are red, he’s been crying, and Sarah didn’t seem so stuck up right now. I reckon in the short time she spent with Nan, Nan was able to touch her like she touched so many people around her.
“Are you ready then?” Dr. Dean questions.
“Wait, there are a few people who need to be here too,” Sam speaks.
A moment later Harry walks in with Eleanor and Linda.
Linda is sobbing as well setting me off as she walks up to me and squeezes me into a hug.
“I can’t believe this is the end! I can’t believe it, I thought she’ll come through,” She cries.
“Me too,” I whisper through sobs. Then she lets me go, walking up to Nan’s bed and taking hold of Nan’s hand, whispering words to her.
Next Eleanor comes up and hugs me, she too has been crying.
“Hi baby, I’m so sorry sweetie,” She kisses my cheek.
“I can’t believe this is it,” I sob into her shoulder.
“I know love, I know,” She holds me tight and lets me cry on her shoulder.
“I don’t think I can handle this,” I say over and over again.
“Oh darling you can, Nan was the most lovely lady I have ever met, I’m sure she gave you the strength to pull through,” Eleanor cries.
When she lets me go, Harry steps in holding a glass of water and some Kleenex.
He hands them over without a word, but I am crying too hard to take a sip. Eleanor takes the cup from my hand, and next I know I am wrapped in his strong hands.
“Baby, you’ll be alright, it’s alright,” He murmurs to me.
“Harry, she’s dying..” I sob, feeling sick to my stomach.
“I know Cass, you’ll be alright I promise you,” He kisses the top of my head.
“Cassie. Come sweetie, it’s time now,” Dr. Dean says.
I step closer to the bed next to Linda, Harry still has his arm wrapped around my waist. Sam is stood on the other side of Nan’s with Sarah holding his hand.
We watch as the nurse disconnects the tubes, and turns off the machines. The only machine connected is the one with the life line. We watch as the life line beeps and the way it changes to a straight line. I can’t help the sob that escapes my mouth. This is it, she really gone.

Notes

Gosh, sorry about such a sad chapter, I had to stop since I started crying while writing it- please don't hate on me..

Sooo Sarah is Sam's daughter... shocked??

LEt me know what you thought about this chapter- please comment below and share your thoughts!
Also if you haven't rated this story yet- please do.

And last- SO I won't be updating this next week because- My brother is getting married!!!!! yeayyyy!!!
You might be thinking to yourself- a wedding is one day- so why not update a whole week- well, it's because I have a lot of family coming in from all over and we will be traveling a lot so I won't have ho to update...
But!! I promise I will update next Sunday or Monday!

SO I hope to read your comments and see you rating this story xx

Comments

@Allie Miller
Wow! Thank you for reading poppet! you're the best!
Hope you're enjoying it xx

@raylee
I finished it and starting sequel yay

@Allie Miller
Glad you're enjoying it xx there is a sequl out too when you're ready =))

Oh Em Gee!!! Absolutely love this

I'm only on chapter 2 and already loving it!!!!