THE DEATH OF ME

When I open my eyes the first face I see is Harry's. He is sleeping by my bed, looking so peaceful and younger than usual.
My head feels fogy and my body’s sore. I stifle a sigh of pain, trying to roll over so I can have a better look of his beautiful face.
His eyes flutter open by the sound of my voice, and he immediately sits up straight.

"You're up," He states, leaning over me.
"Hi," I smile slightly.
"How are you feeling?" He questions, looking worried than ever.
“Water,” I chock, my throat dry. Harry hands me over a glass of water that was sat by the bed, though he realizes I am too weak to hold it myself, so he tilts it and helps me sip.
"Sore.. I'll be alright.. Did you hear anything about Nan yet?" I ask then.
"She is out of surgery and your doctor will be in to talk to you about everything, for now just relax," He holds on to my hand.
"How long was I out for?" I have too many questions to relax right now.
"For about a day," Harry pets my hair, sliding it back.
I still can't believe he is here.. after everything I have said to him, my screams and hurtful words.
"Thank you for coming," I blurt.
"Don't thank me- I'll go anywhere you need me to be," He replies seriously.
"Even after what I said to you.. you didn't owe me anything-"
"Cassie, forget it.. we had a fight.. all couples fight.. It’s behind us now," He assures me.
"How did you know?"
“Know what?” His brow nit together in question.
“Know what happen.. where I was.. to come here,” I explain.
"Eleanor.. the bloke who brought you in called her back after finding out you have no family besides Nan," Harry explains.
"Where is Eleanor?"
"I sent her home to sleep, Ed and Louis were here too, they'll be back later," He smiles, his lovely dimples showing.

"Cassie, good to see you up and about- well.. up.. How are you today?" A gray head doctor enters the room and shuffles over, smiling down at me behind his heavy plastic rimmed glasses. He seems pleasant enough, so I smile back, trying my best not to wince in pain.
"A little sore but other than that she’s fine,” Harry answers.
"Wonderful- I have some pills for the pain. My name is Dr. Dean.. Would you like to know what has been going on with you?" He smiles, inching a little closer. Harry shifts closer too, as if the Doctor isn't trustworthy.
"Yes, I think that's a great idea," Harry answers for me again.
"First- Can you please tell me about my granny? NO one has said a word about her since we arrived," I beg of him.
"I promise you I'll get to that, but let me bring you up to date with your own health first," He replies. I glance over at Harry, which was nodding at the doctor.
"All right then, so as you know we had to operate swiftly, since as you can feel, your right side got hit quite badly in the accident which caused inner bleeding, which we caught fast and managed to take care of.. other than that it's just some cuts and bruises, you will feel sore for the next couple of weeks but after that you'll be good as new," He assures me.

"What about Nan? Will she be good as new?" I look up at him hopefully. The Doctor's face has changed from a smiling and hopeful to a serious one.
"About you Nan love.. her condition is not so easy... she got hit pretty bad, and being she is quite older than you, her body isn't as strong.." His voice trails off.
"Oh my god.. did she die then? Oh no.. it is all my fault!" My eyes start to leak immediately, and I can't get rid of the lump in my throat which was making it hard to breathe.
"Cassie love she's not dead- look what you have done!" Harry snaps at the doctor.
"I'm sorry I gave such impression, she is still with the living," The doctor hurries to say.
"Can I see her? Can you take me? The nurse said I wasn't allowed, but Nan is all I have- she is my mum and my dad," I try to keep my bottom lip from wobbling but it was no use.
"Most certainly, but I first need you to understand a few things.. Nan hit her head quite bad, and her brain is swollen.. we are not sure the extent of the damage yet, since she needs to wake up for us to asses.."
"When will she wake up then?" I ask.
"That's the thing sweetie.. we aren't sure she will.. her injuries are too severe.. we can just hope," Dr. Dean says softly.
I try to hold in my tears, I really do, but it seems that no power in the world stands a chance against them, they just flow as they please, and I have no say. I can't imagine a life without Nan, she is everything to me.
"Please! let me see her- I beg of you," I cry, pulling myself up slowly, pushing through the pain.
"I will get a wheelchair for this young man to push you in," The doctor nods and strides out.
"Baby, don't cry," Harry hugs me gently, making sure not to hurt me.
"What will I do? I can't lose her, I can't lose Nan," I sob.
"You won't," He mumbles, his lips kissing my wet cheek.

This cannot be happening.. Haven’t I lost enough in my short life? I lost my mum and dad, I lost a family, Nan being the only part left- she cannot be taken away from me too, that is unfair.
The doctor is back with the chair, and Harry helps me in it, refusing any help from my doctor. He then wheels me out of the room and after the doctor to Nan's room.
Before we enter, the doctor stops me, and tells me to embrace myself since she looks slightly different then what I remember.
I wipe at my tears and nod an ok for Harry to push me in.

Nan is so small in that hospital bed. She has a bandage around her head, and her eyes are taped closed. Her hands have bruises and cuts to match mine, and she has all these tubes and things helping her breath and giving her water and things. Harry wheels me so I am by her side, and I reach out and touch her hand.
"I will give you some time alone with her," He kisses the top of my head and steps out, followed by Dr, Dean.
Harry closes the door after him, and I look back at Nan.
"Oh Nan.. What has come of us?" I stutter.
"I'm so sorry.. this is all my fault, if I would have told you everything from the start.. If I would have just stayed at the coffee shop.." My tears run again, and I wipe them swiftly, not knowing if Nan can sense me crying.
"You must pull through this Nan.. we should still have time together, you're young you should be staying longer.. I want you to stay with me- I need you to stay," My voice cracks and I need to stop. I inhale deeply and exhale.
"Nan.. I never say this enough.. but I love you, and I do appreciate everything you do for me.. I know it wasn't easy taking me in and bringing me up as your own, after you already had mum and brought her up.. and I wish we had never had that fight.. I wish the papers would have left me alone," I am crying now but I don't care.. I feel the need to get it all out off my chest so I don't stop.
"I wish that they wouldn't spread such lies, and I wish the kids at school wouldn't have been so mean by feeding them those lies in the first place... I love you," I say wiping at my eyes again, while clenching on to her hand.
“I wish I had gone with you to Linda, that way we would have had more time together.. promise me you’ll wake up! I’ll leave the bar- I’ll go back to the coffee shop or wherever you’d like me to go work.. please Nan.. I need you,” I am so lost in my grief. Thinking of all the things I could have done differently to prevent this from happening. What a terrible person I am- I didn’t think of anybody but my own. I only thought about myself when those articles came out, not giving what it might do to Nan any thought, not thinking about giving her a heads up, especially after the last time she was waiting for me with the paper. How stupid can one be?
I pet down her hair, making sure it doesn’t stick out around her, knowing she would probably do it herself if she was awake.

"What the fuck is this? Who the hell are you?"

I turn around startled by the voice, sure Harry was right outside the door.
A blond man was stood in front of me, hands on his hips studying my face and my injuries, then his eyes move over to Nan and he gasps, pacing over to her.
"Who am I? Who are you? I demand you leave this room at once!" I harshly whisper.
His eyes lock with mine for moment before talking.
"You're Lou's daughter," He says taking a seat on Nan's other side, and touching her cheek gently.
"What? How? You knew my mum?" I gasp.
"I did," He doesn't even look up at me, but at Nan. I can't see his eyes since his face is tilted down, but I have a feeling he is tearing.
"What happened?" He demands, looking up at me with icy cold eyes. Those eyes.. I know them.. I think.
"We crashed.. it was raining, she didn't see the other car.." I stutter.
"Who are you?" I demand when he doesn't respond.
"How old are you now? About 15?" He questions instead.
"17- almost 18- What is it to you? I don't even know your name," I state.
"Sam," He hums and turns back to Nan.
That name.. it rings a bell but I am not quite sure.
"I'm here.. I came.. hold on.." He whispers and I can barely hear him.

"Who is this?" Harry comes in the room, keeping his voice low, but you couldn't mistake the fury in his eyes.
"What is this here?" Sam looks up from Nan to me and then Harry.
"He's with me," I tell him, anger bubbling up within me.
"Well, you're aren't family so I am asking you to leave this room at once," Sam says to Harry, he is almost as intimidating as Harry... almost.
"In that case, after you," Harry takes a step closer.
"That’s the thing.. I am family."

Notes

SO you've been quiet guys- I wanna know who you think Sam might be!!!

Also did you notice what I did there? I made Lou Cassie's mum..

And one last thing------------------------------ There is a trailer for the death of me!!!
I just finished it and want to share it with you! SO you can watch it here and it would be so amazingly nice of you if you could please tell me what you think of it- I just learned to make these since I am making a clip for my brother's wedding (October 20th) SO I figured I'll try it out first on my fanfics...
So I'm waiting to hear from you xxx
Rachel