THE DEATH OF ME

I was up in my room sitting very still, so Eleanor won’t snap at me again.
My nails were done by Perrie, and were placed on my lap to dry, and I wasn’t allowed to move them either.
Now Perrie was doing my hair while Eleanor is doing my makeup and I am terrified of the way I might look when they are done with me.
Harry should be over very soon and I wasn’t even ready.
“So did you see Harry last night on telly? Don’t answer that- don’t move you!” Eleanor orders me.
“Yeah, I was watching it with Cassie and Nan, he was amazing- him and Ed,” Perrie answers instead of me.
“I’ve never seen Harry speak of someone the way he spoke of you Cass,” Eleanor tells me.
“How cute are Ed and Harry though?” Perrie gushes.
“Cassie- Harry’s here, and I think you would like to hurry up- he is dashing,” Nan peeks her head in the room, but she is covering her eyes, since she is not allowed to see me before I am ready- Eleanor’s orders.
“We are almost finished Nan, he’ll just have to wait patiently,” Eleanor calls out, making Perrie giggle.
“All right, I’m done,” Eleanor takes a step back from me.
“So am I,” perrie says and leaves my hair alone.
I get up, and Eleanor opens the robe that is covering my dress.

When I look in the mirror I don’t recognize myself, not at first.
A blonde girl with soft waves is staring back. Her hair is parted to the side, held up by a glittering but classy clip. She has big blue shiny eyes, that our contoured by long lushes lashes. Her cheeks are rosy and her lips are a deep but natural pinkish colour. She is wearing a light pink chiffon dress, she is beautiful.

I smile and she smiles back.
“That is you silly, get used to it, look what a babe you can be,” Eleanor holds on to my shoulders.
“You girls are amazing, thank you so much!” I gush at them.
“Shit! We forgot about shoes!” Eleanor exclaims looking down at my feet.
“No we haven’t,” Perrie picks up a bag. She fishes out of them ballerina flats which are a pale silver colour.
“You didn’t want heels, so I got you these, I remembered us being the same size, so I hope they fit,” She shrugs smiling widely at me.
I slip them on and they are perfect.

We head down stairs, the girls go down first and stop at the foot of the steps next to Harry and Nan who were waiting.
I feel my cheeks grow hot as I step down slowly, trying my best not to trip down.
“Cassie- you are breath taking! Beautiful,” Nan exclaims excitedly.
When I reach the bottom I take a step in front of Harry. He is wearing a black tux with a white bottom down under, he really does look dashing. He was holding pink flowers and when I reach him he offers them to me. He tilts his head to me and whispers.
“You are absolutely stunning Cassie,” I feel his lips glide on my cheek before he pulls back.
“Can I take a photo?” Nan questions, and holds up her camera.
“I have one too!” Eleanor calls out, and rushes to retrieve her own camera from her bag.
Harry and I step closer to each other and I feel his arm come around my waist. We smile and Nan clicks her camera. Before we have a chance to move Eleanor appears with her Polaroid and clicks twice.

“One for you and one for Harry,” She hands us the photos.
“Come on Eleanor and Perrie get in with them,” Nan pushes the girls to join us.
We take some photos together, some funny ones with our tongues out, and then Harry takes Nan’s place so she can take a photo with me and with the girls.

“Have fun children! And be good, I heard these dances can get wild,” Perrie winks at us.
“You’re staying? I question them.
“Yeah, we have movies to watch with Nan,” Eleanor holds up some movies she brought with.
“Have fun,” I laugh, grateful they are staying to keep Nan company.
I close the door after me, to have myself pulled into an embrace by Harry, both his arms around my waist as he studies my face.
“Hi,” I whisper.
“Shhh.. Now is my moment to gaze at you,” He replies softly.
“Can I stare back at you then?” I ask him, I’m possessed by the green of his eyes. They’re so perfect, so deep I can stay like this watching them, getting lost in them forever.
“If I kiss you, would it ruin what El put on your lips?” Harry chimes.
“I don’t really care,” I whisper, reaching to the tip of my toes. Harry lets out a soft chuckle before our lips collide. A moan escapes my lips, making a smirk appear on Harry’s lips once they leave mine.

“You smell nice,” I report making him laugh again.
“You smell divine,” Harry kisses the tip of my nose, intertwining our fingers, pulling me to the SUV.
We drive to school, are fingers still linked, soft music playing in the background.
“Harry?” I call, when he turns the car off.
“I’m listening,” He turns to face me.
“What you and Ed said about me the other night-“
“It was the truth,” Harry finishes the sentence for me.
“It was such a lovely thing to say, and thank you.”
“You would have said the same thing,” He states.
“Na.. I would probably tell him he is right, I have no idea what I’m doing with you since you’re so obnoxious and infuriating,” I frown playfully.
“Oh would you now? I’ll remember that next talk show I’m on,” Harry threatens.
I giggle reaching to kiss his cheek.
“Come on love, it’s time to show you off,” Harry opens the door and slides out of the car.
He takes my hand and we walk into the gym where the party is taking place.

I’m slightly nervous, not forgetting about the taunting I received just days ago, and afraid of the reaction I will get by bringing Harry to a high school dance.
“Don’t worry,” Harry squeezes my hand slightly reassuring me.
“Smile!” A light flashes in our eyes, before we have a chance to understand what is going on.
“Welcome, to winter formal,” The girl sings as she lets us pass, and she jumps onto the next couple coming in after us.

The gym is full of couples, and when they notice Harry and I they stop and stare, the whispering following straight after.
“This was a bad idea,” I mumble to Harry.
“Not it wasn’t,” He links our fingers and pulls in on to the dance floor, where people forgot to dance, and were just standing still and watching us.
“Dance with me,” Harry demandes in a soft voice, placing his hand on my waist, but not before placing my hand on his shoulder.
I fix my gaze on Harry, blocking out all the people around us. If I could keep concentrating on him then maybe I can make it passed this dance in one piece.

The thing about Harry is, when he wants to he can make you forget. He can make you live in the moment that he himself creates for you, making everything else disappear.
I found it was easier to smile now, seeing his eyes looked at mine, noting his dimples, carved in his cheeks, and those lips stretched in the most beautiful smile that one could offer.
“Cassie! There you are!” Liam calls as he makes his way over to us. I pull back from Harry and glance over to Liam, who was with Sophie.
“Hi,” I smile, while Harry shakes his hand.
“Blimey Cass you look unbelievable,” Liam remarks.
“Why do you sound so surprised?” Harry arches a brow, abounding hurt.
“Because you see how Cassie dresses everyday- it’s a good thing we have to wear uniform or else she would just come in whatever she slept in,” Liam points out.

“Sophie, you look lovely, how are you?” I change the subject and turn to Liam’s date.
“Thank you, it’s really nice, they really went all out this year,” Sophie says.
“I wouldn’t know.. This is my first dance,” I shrug.
“Is it really?” Sophie seems shocked.
“I had to beg for her to take me,” Harry grins down at her.
“I see you have never been to a school dance before have you,” Sophie jokes.
“I’m afraid not.. It’s a good thing Cassie agreed to go in the end,” Harry lets out a chuckle.

Just then Dafni walks in, her arm linked with no other then Ben. I let out a gasp, making Harry’s eyes dart to the entrance. I notice his jaw clenched and the way all the warmth seeped out of his eyes, leaving them colder than ever.
“Styles,” Ben calls out. I pray that Harry knows better than to start a fight on school grounds.
“Ben,” Harry nods.
“Oh and Cassie, lovely to see you as always, how is the job at the bar going?”
I know he said that out loud on purpose. Everyone was watching us now, taking notes, making sure they remember everything for when the time for gossip will come.
“You know.. I’m not feeling that well Harry, may you please accompany me out for fresh air?” I turn to face Harry.
"Oh come on Cassie, leaving so soon? What about a quicky with me? One quick dance hey?" Ben steps in front of me, placing a hand on my shoulder.
In just a blink of an eye ,Ben was on the floor, Harry on top of him, holding on to his shirt, a scream escapes Dafni's mouth.
"Harry please," I beg pulling on his suit.
"If you ever touch her again!" Harry spits at him. The gym is silent and all eyes where watching us. Some people had there phones out filming and snapping photos.
Harry laces his arm around me as he walks us outside swiftly anger on his face and in his stride.

“That piece of fucking shitwipe,” Harry swears.
“Can we just go,” I beg of him.
“Are you really going to let him kick you out of your school dance?” Harry snaps.
“We’ve been here for over an hour, we can leave, we can go somewhere else- or to your flat- the shack whatever- I just want to leave.”
“I should wring his neck!” Harry barks.
“I think you did enough damage for one night don't you think?! it is a high school dance Harry what were you thinking?” I make up my mind then and start walking away from Harry. I will not let this keep happening, I will not let him spoil everything good we have with his temper.
"Where the fuck are you going?! Are you just going to leave? run away?" He spits.
"I'm not going to be a part of this! I won't have you ending every each day with violence!"
“Why are you so weak?! What happened to the fighter?” Harry taunts me.
“Maybe I don’t feel like fighting anymore?” I snap at him, annoyed he let Ben spoil our evening.
And with that I walk away, and for the first time, and my surprise he doesn’t follow.

Notes