THE DEATH OF ME

Demi was already waiting outside for me. I was running late since I couldn’t find my other shoe, but that wasn’t what Demi was worried about, she wanted to know about the article too.

“Not you as well,” I sigh as I pull on the seatbelt.
“I’ve seen two of them, in one it seemed like your classmates were shit talking about you,” Demi continued.
“Yeah, I’ve seen that one too,” I smile.
“The other one was more about Harry, about him finding a younger and hotter Lola,” Demi giggled.
“Blimey, can you imagine? She’ll be coming round looking for a fight if she sees that one,” I say wide eyed.
Truth is I was slightly worried about it, that is all I needed for her to come screaming into the shack again.

“Is Niall working tonight?” I change the subject.
“Not until later, Nick is working this shift with us,” She replies.
I haven’t worked with Nick yet, my only run-ins with him are when we relieve each other from shifts.

When we get to the shack I recognize Harry’s SUV outside and wonder what he is doing here.
We walk into the shack to find Louis, Harry and Ed sitting at one of the tables.
“Hi lads,” Demi greets them.
“Hey!!! They’re hereee!! Cheers lovelies!” Louis raises his glass.
“Cassandraa! Come here,” Harry slurs.
I have never seen Harry drunk, used to him usually being on point, or uptight.
I stride over to their table, just to be pulled onto his lap by him.
“My girl is famous now too did you know that? The newspapers are all buzzing about her,” He says, placing a sloppy kiss onto my cheek.
“Cassie, how is it to be famous?” Ed chuckles. He looks just as intoxicated as Harry.
“Er, lovely.. I need to get to work, Harry..” I try to pull myself off of him, but he was holding me tightly.
“Come on big guy, let the birdie go,” Demi comes to my rescue.
“But she promised to hang out with me today,” Harry pouts, though he lets me go.
“Well today isn’t over yet mate,” Ed tells him.

I walk with Demi to the bar where Nick was already behind wiping glasses.
“How long are they like this?” Demi questions.
“Since about 4, though Louis hasn’t drunk as much as Harry and Ed,” He winks at me.
"Why? What is the occasion?" I ask turning to glance at them.
"Do they need one?" Demi laughs.
"Well they have one actually, Alan Carr called Harry, he wants him on the Chatty Man Thursday," Nick explains.
"That is huge! Why didn't he say something?" Demi exclaims, though I keep quiet. I remember that evening we were sat in front of the telly, and he mentioned the show, and him being on it. I wonder why he hasn't called to tell me about it, a pang of hurt filling my chest.

"Can someone get a drink in this god forsaken place?" Someone shouts at us, making me jump and Harry and his table turn to face the man shouting.
"Oi blondie- I'm talking to you! Can you move or what?!" He questions aggressively.
"Oi yourself mate! You don't think it's too early for alcohol anyway?" Ed calls out to him, slurring his words.
"What the fuck man?! Can you hear yourself?! Don't you think you had enough for today?" The man mocks him.
"Alright, lets break this up why don't we? Cassie dear, get this man’s order," Louis tells me. I look back at Demi catching her rolling her eyes, and suppress a smile.
I take the bloke's order, and walk back to Nick so he can make it for him.
Other then that man, Harry and Ed the place is empty.

Demi plays some music and sings along as she wipes down the tables, making sure everything is clean for the people who will be coming in soon.
"Dance with me Cassandra," Harry grabs at my waist, swaying us to the sound of music playing.
"Harry, let go," I whine, even though deep down I crave his touch. His breath smells from spirits, and I am trying to decide if I like him when he is like this.
"Nooo, I wanna dance with my baby," He pulls me even closer, kissing my neck.
"I'm working," I place my palms on his chest, though I don't push him away, the craving for him stronger then my will.
"There is no one here love, and Lou doesn't mind- don't you Louie?" Harry shouts out the last part to Louis. Louis waves us off as if giving his ok, and Harry smiles down at me.
"See?" He teases me.

"Blondie, I want a refill!" The man calls out again.
"She's busy!" Harry states.
"I'll get it," Demi cuts in before another fight starts.
I glance up at Harry and notice the wicked grin on his face, so proud of himself.
"So when are you planing on telling me?" I inquire.
"Tell you what?" he furrows his brows down at me.
"About Alan Carr," I sigh.
"That's why you're in a pissy mood?" Harry takes a step back.
"Are you joking? I am fine! You're the one who is drunk out of his wits," I state annoyed.
"So what if I'm going on the show? What is it to you?" He hisses at me.
"Are you always such a prick when you drink? Or is today a special say?" I snap, turning to stride over to the bar, where Nick and Demi are at.
"The fuck you said to me?" My arm is grabbed and I'm spun around to face him.
"Don't touch me," I demand, try and pull my arm free.
"You started picking a fight!" Harry raises his voice.
"I'm not having a conversation with you when you're intoxicated," I tell him, trying to peel his fingers off my arm.
"I don't need to tell you everything!" He spits, tugging me forward.
"Noted, let go of me," I pull, kind of scared of the way this is going.

"Oi! Let her go," Nick jumps over the counter and has his hand on Harry's shoulder in seconds.
"Blimey Harry, what's gotten into you?" Ed is next to us too. Harry let's go of my arm and my fingers cover the red fingerprints he has left on my skin.
"Ed, I think you should take him home," Louis remarks, standing next to the table they were seated at.
"I would, but I am seeing two of each of you," Ed pouts.
"Come on then, let me drive you two home," Louis steps closer.
"Cassie- I'm sorry, Cass- talk to me," Harry's eyes are wide, shocked by the way he just acted.
"Get away from me- just leave," I say quietly and turn. pacing quickly to the room on the side and locking myself in until he leaves.
"Come on Styles, let's be off," I hear Ed say.
"No! Wait Cassie, please talk to me!" Harry shouts.
It sounds like he is being pulled out of the shack, and I hear someone say he should talk to me later when we are both calmer.
I have never seen Harry this way. I was never frightened by him either. How did it even come to this?
How did he flip so fast from his playful self to that?
Lola’s words echo in my mind- he is poison, he will destroy you like he has destroyed me…

“Cassie? They’re gone,” Demi knocks on the door.
I unlock the door but don’t come out, instead she steps inside and sits down next to me.
“What was that? I can’t wrap my head around what just happened,” I whisper staring at the wall across of me.
“He was drunk Cassie, they were drinking since god knows when,” Demi makes an excuse but it doesn’t work on me.
“Look, do you want to go home? It’s slow out there as it is,” She offers.
“No.. No I’ll stay, I need to keep my mind off of this,” I stand and try to smile.
“Alright,” Demi follows me back out.

Once my shift is over, I head out. I pull my hood over my head, and close up my coat.
Demi is working a double shift, and since Harry was sent home, I will be walking today. There is slight rain, and I hope it won’t get stronger.
My phone is low on juice so I can’t play music. I stride as fast as my legs can take me, walking the short distance into town.
The rain get’s stronger and my hood isn’t doing its work, preventing me getting wet.
My hair is dripping but I don’t care, I ignore it, the only thing playing over and over again, is Harry’s face, his dark eyes in a cold glare while shouting at me.
A car drive’s passed me and stops up ahead. Then it backs up. It is a dark car, but I can’t see that well through the heavy rain.
It stops next to me and the window is rolled down when I finally recognize it.

“Cassie, get in,” Harry calls out to me.
“Go away Harry,” I demand, continuing to pace.
“Come on, don’t be like that- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I wasn’t in my right mind- Cassie please let’s talk about it- get in you’re getting wet,” He begs of me.
"Harry please leave me alone," I reply, and take the turn to Sixth Street. I am nearly at the school which means I don't have much more to walk. I hear footsteps behind me and a moment later Harry is walking by my side, his white Tshirt already wet, his curls stuck to his scalp.
"Cassie please- I'm a dick, it was the alcohol, there is a reason I don't drink, I never meant to hurt you," he goes on. I clench my teeth and continue my stride, trying my best to ignore him.
"Look, I should have told you about the Chatty Man, after all you are the reason I was called to the show now," He remarks. Just as he says that our lamp post comes into view and I stop gazing at it.
"Me? What do I have to do with it?" The rain isn't bothering me anymore, the only thing my body notices is Harry standing so close to me.
"Because, they know everything about me, until it comes to you, and they are hungry for information so they called me," He explains.
"Oh," I am not looking at him, but at his boots, not wanting to gaze into his eyes and forget my hurt and anger.
"I love you Cassie, it will never happen again- please forgive me," he begs of me.
"I don't like you when you drink," I tell him, finally raising my stare to meet his.
"I know, I don't like the drunk me either," His hands come to my waist, and I hold my breath.
"Do you forgive me?" He questions softly. I nod, and Harry folds me into his arms, shielding me from the rain.
“I love you Cass, don’t forget that,”
And I believe him, because how can you not, with his arms around me and that look in his eye?

Notes

How are you today?