THE DEATH OF ME

Harry's POV

I feel stupid standing at her door step with a single rose in my hand. I think of tossing it to the side, but Ed's words rush into my head and I stop myself. I ring the doorbell before I change my mind and the sound of light footsteps are heard.
Cassie opens the door.

She is breath taking. Really she is. Not in that Angelina Jolie kind of way, but in the innocent I am happy she is only mine kind of way.

"A rose? Is that for me?" She questions looking up at me.

I can tell she put whatever the girls put on their lashes to make them seem longer, and I have a feeling her cheeks are slightly more pinkish then usual but I don't care, she is beautiful.

"It depends.. Are you ready to go? Or do I need to wait for you?" I flash her my famous half smile I know for a fact the chicks adore and note the way her face flushes.

"I'm ready, let me just tell Nan I'm leaving," She mumbles.

I follow her into the house, and wave to her Nan as she explains we won't be back late, but she shouldn't stay up either way.

"It's nice seeing you again Nan," I grin at her, and we are out.

I drove my SUV knowing that this time of day it will be too cold for Cassie on the motorbike. I open the door for her and help her climb in.

"Thanks," She says and I shut the door.

"What is Ed doing tonight?" She asks me once I get into the seat next to her and start the car.

"He is meeting up with a few friends, you like him don’t you?" I smirk.

"Not in that way," She is quick to answer and I decide to pick on her for a bit.

"What do you mean 'not in that way'?" I frown.

"Not in the way that.. you know.." She is all flustered.

"No! I don't, I need you to tell me," I push, knowing I am being a twit but not caring.

"Not the way I like you," She finally gives in, and I keep quiet, cherishing her words.

We drive silently the remaining of the way, until we get to the park.

I open the door, and get out, getting the bags from the back. I hear Cassie opening the door on her side but she doesn’t get out of the car. I step around the car to her side, and reach out my hand for her to take. She studies me for a moment before taking it and hops out. I link our fingers as we walk on the grass, until we get to a patch that looks good enough for us.

"So I thought we could have a picnic," I drop the bags and take out the blankets I brought with. I
open one and Cassie moves to hold the ends to help me spread it on the grass.

Once the blanket is spread, we both kneel onto it and sit down. I pull the bags to me and take out the things I packed.

"I hope you like sushi," I take out the box of food.

"I hope so too," She smirks, and I am puzzled.

"Are you telling me you never tasted sushi?" I exclaim.

"Nope, but I guess there is a first time to everything," She shrugs.

"Shit.. But people don't usually like it the first time," I explain.

"Why is that?" She is curious.

"Well.. I don't know.. maybe the texture? It grows on you I promise," I wink, taking out the other things I brought.

"What is that? Wine?" She reaches out the wine bottle.

"Not really, it has less alcohol then beer, it's like soda pop," I offer her sticks for the sushi. When she takes them she holds them from the wrong end, no clue of how to use them.

"Ok, let me show you how this is done, you hold it this way," I shift closer to her, and place her fingers on the sticks, showing her how it is supposed to be held.
She then tries to catch the sushi with the sticks but with no success, which makes me chuckle.

"This is really stupid," She rants, glancing up at me.

"All right, watch the way the pro handles it," I sigh dramatically and pick up my sticks.

I work them and pick up a sushi, shoving it in my mouth with a grin.

"There, it's not that hard," I say with a mouth full.
Cassie rolls her eyes, then with a sly smile stabs one of the sushi's with the sticks and picks it up to her mouth.

"That is cheating," I state, though I am amused.

"I can see what you mean about the texture," She says, pulling a face.

"You should dip it in the sauce, and take, I knew you would need this," I hand over a fork.

"You had this all along but didn't think of giving it to me from the start?" She scolds me playfully.

"Well yeah, you wouldn't have tried to use the sticks otherwise," I tell her knowingly.

"Bloody right, why would anyone eat this way?" She picks up another piece of sushi, dipping it in the soya sauce.

"It's all the fun," I explain again.

I love it when she gets this way. When she forgets about the surroundings and who might be watching her, and forgets about her shyness, and lets herself truly be herself, and really have fun and enjoy what she is doing. I can watch her all day when she gets this way.

I open the bottle of fizzy wine and pour some into cups. I hand over one to Cassie.

"Bottoms up then," I say and take a sip.

"This is really nice," She speaks up after a moment.

"I thought you'd like this, it's a girly drink after all.. and since you are still underage,"

"No silly- well the pop is good too, I was talking about this," She gestures around us, "The whole set up, it's really nice, I like it.. Thank you," She replies quietly.

"Of course," I nod and offer her a pleased smile. I move the sushi out of the way and lay down on my back, looking up at the stars.

"Harry.. where do your parents live?" Cassie speaks up again looking at me.
I glance at her for a moment before looking back at the stars.

"My mum and sister live on the other side of England," I sigh.

"Where is that?" She pushes.

"Cheshire," I answer, "Come here, why are you so far away?" I change the subject.

Cassie shifts closer, and lays her head next to mine, looking up at the dark sky.

"Where would that be then?" She won't let go, infatuated by the fact that I'm answering her pestering questions.

"That is very close to Manchester." I reply.

"Don't you miss them?"

I am about to ask what is this sudden interest in my family when I get it. Cassie doesn't have a family, not really anyway, so obviously she would ask about mine, since I chose to spend my time away from them.

"Sometimes.. I visit them occasionally, talk to them on the phone, they come visit, come to races,"

"Is your sister older? Younger?" Cassie goes on with her questions. I turn my body to face her, and reach out to touch her nose. She turns to face me.

"She is older by a year and a half, her name is Gemma and we are mostly close," I answer more then she asked.

"What do you mean by mostly?"

"She doesn't like me drifting, and every time when I start up with it again, she gets into fights with me about quitting."

I watch Cassie's blue eyes study me.

"I heard you talk to Ed the other day," She suddenly says, and I breathe in sharply.

"You did?" Dammit! What was said? I have to remember.

"How badly can you get into trouble by dating me?" She questions. So this is what it's about.

"I won't get into trouble.. You're almost 18 anyway," I assure her.

"What did he mean I can get into trouble?" She pushes more.

"Do you trust me?" I bring my hand to her cheek, my eyes burning into hers. She nods her head and bites her bottom lip. I love it when she does that.

"You won't get into any trouble, what we have.. It's not wrong.. no one can tell us we can't date- we can do whatever we want," I promise.

"Not whatever we want.. You told Ed that you aren't.. That you…"
I know what she is trying to say- even in the dark I notice how red her face is.

"That I'm not fucking you? Look Cassie, you're young.. I don't want you to do something you aren’t ready for," I try and explain.

"Everyone my age is doing it," She states.

"Not everyone, and anyway, most of the once who do, are doing it with people their own age, not with racers who are 3 years older," I remark.

"You just don't want me like that do you?" Is her reply, and I am blown out of my mind that she would even think that.

"No.. No.. no! Cassie, that is shit- that is so not true," I bring my palm to her cheek making sure she catches and believes every word.

"Listen to me babe, I don't know why, but for some reason I met you, and this just happened, and I can't stop thinking about you, and what you're doing, and want to be where you are- want to be with you- and believe me when I say I have never told any girl this in my life- you can even ask Ed, I want you more than I ever wanted any girl, I do.. But I can't do this to you, I can't take advantage of you, I want you to want this just as much, I need you to be ready, because I can't have that ruin what we have," I pray that she understands, I watch her eyes for it.

God I said so much to her just now, from the heart- I never say things like this to girls- never in my fucking life. Shit I almost told her I love her dammit! Do I love her? I don't even know what I'm thinking, How can I love her after such a short time?

"Very well," Cassie sighs against my palm. And I scoot over closer to her, bringing my lips to her soft pink ones. I run my fingers through her hair as we kiss, and I can't help but hope that mine would be the last lips she ever kisses.

Notes

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