I lay next to him, comforted as his arms cradle me into his warmth. My eyes stare ahead to the side of the room as his chest rose and fell. Past them I saw through to last night when it had happened again. Though I was unable to see now, I knew how my arms and lower body would look by the time I met the mirror of the room; darkened from the likes of his drunken rage. I promised I’d leave if it happened again, but he always made me feel amazing in the apologies of his touch afterward. It was like he faded the pain when those green eyes returned back to me, and I suddenly felt safe again. I loved him despite what my friends thought… and maybe he was crazy, but for that…so was I.

My heart pumped a little quicker with his sudden movements. Drowsy yet unpredictable they were. He pecked at my forehead gently while rubbing my head of hair. The sheets were soft and he the same. Our fingers intertwined for a moment before he’d begun to remove himself. He sat with his legs swung on the side of the bed as he buried his hands in his face. I rubbed his back, feeling his pain of the hangover myself. I hated when he drank so hard. A breath was took before slipping myself from the covers and into his shirt after experiencing the chill of the room. I didn’t bother studying myself…

I left to the kitchen to grab a water from his refrigerator, throwing the empty glass bottles of alcohol into the trash to rid both the counter and the memories that had began to shove at the sight them. I restricted my hair behind my ears, crossing my arms over my body to find warmth on my way back. I twisted open the bottle of Anacin’s once there, unscrewing the cap of the water and passing them both to him. He watches me as he takes them quietly for a second. I rub at his forehead of curls, saddened at the headache he’d have for most of the day. He closes his eyes after sitting the half –emptied bottle on the nightstand table.

Harry:
“…I did it again...didn’t I?”

He’d mustered from a whisper as more of an acknowledgement than a question. His head presses against my stomach as I stand, arms hugging my waist in apology.

Harry:
“I’m so sorry Ally.”

I knew that he meant it every time…and this was about the fourth. I never thought I’d be this girl. Before I would even judge situations like this but I was wrong. There would always be people and opinions on the outside…but they would never get it. They didn’t see him like I did.

Ally:
“It’s alright. I’ll cover them.”

I looked down and away to avoid him feeling worse. That’s when I saw the marks against my wrists where he’d pinned me to the wall. It was driven by the anger from our argument. Meaningless and easily forgotten. He was a different person when he blacked out. If I could just separate my Harry from the darkness of the alcohol, my life would be okay. But more importantly I wanted him to be okay. He had a rough life growing up and I guess the effects of it kept him in that place I’d desperately tried to rid him of. He sighed deeply. There was never a time he didn’t beat himself up over it but honestly I’d rather he didn’t.
Harry:
“God. That doesn’t make it okay.”

He rubbes my wrists gently with his thumb tips in a deep thought.

Harry:
“I have to stop this. Help me, Ally… Help me to stop with the alcohol.”

I nodded, giving my brain room to plan how I’d do that. It had been about a week since the last time this kind of thing had happened and until now I thought I was accomplished in fixing it. We’d never spoken of love when it came to our relationship but Harry was my first everything so it was hard to just dispose of him.
I glance at the clock, telling me I really had to go now. I walk quickly to the other side of the room separating my body of his clothes and stepping into my own.

Harry:
“You’re going?”

Ally:
“Uhh- yea. It’s my sister’s birthday…I promised her I’d spend the day with her.”

I grabbed my keys and purse before heading for the door but was caught gently by the arm and tugged backed to him affectionately.

Harry:
“I’ll see you tonight, right?”

He’d asked apologetically with those eyes I could never say no to.

Ally:
“Maybe.”

I said playfully, falling into the kiss he’d motioned for. I went to break away only to be subjected to the same thing.

Harry:
“No, Ally. Promise me.”

I was held this time with slightly more force. Maybe before this would have alarmed me but I was quite use to it. He was so possessive and he made it no secret when it came to me, even with my own sister.

Ally:
“I promise, Harry.”

--

I entered the house I shared with her after pulling my car beside hers in the driveway. I sat my keys on the table just to the left once inside, leaning against the back of the door after closing it. A breath is taken as I thought of Harry, soon I come back down when I realized her presence.

Lori:
“Again?”

She came close reaching to trace her fingers over my arms immediately despite me crossing them for coverage. I guess it was almost safe to say I’d been avoiding the mirror.

Lori:
“Ally..”

She started.

Ally:
“It’s fine, okay.”

Lori:
“No it’s not. Drop the act, I can see them….”

She said with stern eyes. I sighed in discomfort of them.

Lori:
“It’s getting worse, Ally!”

My instincts still told me to conceal my bare skin from her even after the statement. I’d decided on folding my arms around my body as she continued. I felt anger at her words and an intense thirst to defend him…even if I seemed crazy for it.

Ally:
“I said just leave it. What do you want me to do? Because leaving wouldn’t make me happy, okay…”

I just wished she’d mine her damn business. I held my palms to my face so she wouldn’t see the tears. Her arms can be felt around me a short time later as she buries me into her.

Lori:
“Don’t cry, okay. I’m sorry.”

If it was anything I hated more than my situation at times it was being a younger sister. The last to graduate…the last to get a driver’s license. And the most shielded.

Ally:
“He’s not a bad person.”

I managed to get through my sobs. This was my own fault for just walking in without covering them anyways.

Lori:
“I know, I know.”

The tears continued with the embarrassment of it. She was perfect. At least she was to me and I didn’t want her to judge me or my relationship with Harry when she didn’t understand. She loved us together until the first time he’d done it. I cursed myself for ever telling her.

Ally:
“Happy Birthday.”

She’d begun to laugh and squeeze me tighter.

Lori:
“Thanks little one.”

She pulled back again to stare into my eyes, wiping away the tears that stained me.

Lori:
“And don’t worry we’ll cover them before we head out. I have the perfect outfit, okay.”

Notes

Was feeling creative. What'd you think? Should I continue?

Thanks for reading by the way. You're great.