Harry's POV

"But it's so much easier to see you if you're living over there," I explain, snacking on the cheese Carmen shredded to put on the garlic toast.

"Stop that," she says, slapping my hand away. "And I told you, Paige and I don't get along when we're not playing and I can't handle it. I just don't want to live there anymore."

"But it's so close to my house."

"You're basically living here anyway so why does it matter?"

"It just does." I reach for more cheese and she hits me again. "Why are you doing that!"

"Stop eating the cheese and stop trying to argue with me," she says, pointing at me with a spoon. "You're being annoying on purpose."

"No," I argue, trying not to smile as I lean on the counter next to her. She shakes her head and sighs. Maybe I knew bringing this up would bug her, but I can't help it. She's so cute when she gets all irritated with me.

"Can you grate some more cheese for me?" she asks. "Since you ate it all."

This feels weird, what's happening right now. Not arguing with Carmen because let's be honest, that happens all the time. We're having Louis and Ivy over tonight to have dinner with us and we're cooking, like a married couple that actually lives together. It doesn't seem like something people our age do, but Ivy and Carmen planned it all out so we're going along with it.

"Can I ask you something?" Carmen says after a few minutes. I nod and she sets the lid over the pot of noodles. "School is almost over."

"That's not really a question."

"You didn't let me finish! Damn, you're annoying today."

"You're so easy to annoy," I laugh, setting my hands on her hips. She folds her arms and raises her eyebrows at me. "Ask away, my dear."

"I was just thinking...when school is done in a few weeks, what's going to happen?"

"Probably summer."

"I don't know why you think I won't stab you in your sleep, because I'll do it." I laugh and she shakes her head, smiling a little bit at least. "I mean with us."

"Oh." That. I was trying not to think about it, to be honest, because I have no idea. I have a job here with Louis' family so I could stay, but my mother would be devastated if I didn't go home for at least a few weeks. "I hadn't thought about it. But...why does something have to happen?"

"You'll be gone for almost four months, Harry."

"And then I'll be back." She sighs and turns away from me, stirring the sauce she's made. "What? Why does anything have to change?"

"You seriously haven't thought about it at all?" she asks quietly.

"It just seemed like it was further away than it is. And plus, I don't get why me going home makes a difference for us."

"You'll be on another continent."

"But I'm coming back next semester," I remind her. Why is she getting so worked up about this? "What are you worried about?"

"I'm not worried, it's just that-" She stops and wipes her hands on a cloth. "Nevermind. Forget I said anything."

"Carmen."

"The stuff is done, just sprinkle some cheese on the toast. Louis and Ivy should be here soon."

She walks towards her bedroom without looking at me and shuts herself in there, leaving me standing alone and completely confused. I don't understand what just happened here...I'm not going to another planet, it's just England. People make long distance relationships work all the time and it's not like I'm never coming back. I don't understand why she's so upset. Since we got back from California we've pretty much been in a little bubble; she said she was going to move back into her house, but she never did so we've been spending all of our time here or at my house, but mostly here. We've barely even fought or had any problems, so why would be having to go home for a while be such a big deal? It didn't worry me until now.

After I've taken the garlic toast out and put the cheese on it I put it back in the oven, giving everything else a quick stir before making my way to Carmen's bedroom. When I try to open the door I find that it's locked, which is weird. Because she never does that.

"Carmen, are you okay?" When she doesn't respond I tap lightly on the door. "Carmen."

I hear the click of the lock twisting, and after a moment I reach down for the handle. It twists and I push the door open, Carmen standing in front of her closet in her skinny jeans and just a bra. This seems to be her favourite way to punish me lately. She doesn't bother to look at me even when I stand next to her, her fingers casually brushing over the fabric of one of her shirts hanging in front of her.

"I didn't mean to-"

"Do you like this?" she asks, lifting one of the hangers from the bar. She examines the dark green top and tilts her head to the side. "I've never warn it."

"Yeah, it's nice." She lays it on the bed and gently removes the hanger. "About before-"

"I don't want to talk about it," she says immediately, finally meeting my eyes. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"Why can't you tell me what's bothering you?" I ask, trying not to get frustrated with her. She slides the top over her head and I notice that the neckline falls a little lower than what she normally wears.

"Nothing's bothering me."

"Carmen, do you seriously think I can't tell when you're upset by now?"

"Louis and Ivy are going to be here," she says, pushing her fingers through her hair. She fiddles with the open collar of my shirt without looking up at my face. This is making me mad. "I'm fine, I promise."

"Are you done lying to me?"

"Why are you trying to pick a fight!" She holds her hands out to the side and then lets them fall to her sides, slapping against her legs when they do. "I said I don't I don't want to talk about it, so can you just let it go?"

"Because you're upset about something and I don't like that."

"Sorry to make you so uncomfortable," she spits, walking past me and out of the room. Oh my fuck she's so infuriating sometimes.

"Carmen." I follow her but she ignores me. Mother fucking fuck, this girl. I finally just loop my arm around her waist, spinning her around and trapping her against me. She gasps and tries to push at my chest but then I kiss her and she stops, instead trying to pull me closer. When I pull away she places her hand over my cheek, her thumb under my bottom lip. "Damn right I don't like it, but not because of me. I love you, in case you forgot."

"Yeah," she breathes.

"Now, let's just forget about this for now and we can talk about it after, okay?" I suggest, kissing her forehead. "Let's have a nice time tonight on this lame double date."

She laughs. "Okay."

"But first you have to kiss me."

Carmen wraps both her arms around my neck, standing on her tip toes to kiss me as hard as she possibly can. And this is another way she likes to punish me: kissing me in a way she knows is going to turn me on when we're not in a good situation to actually do something about it. But I can't find it in me to complain about that. Could be a lot worse.

"Okay, ew."

Carmen pries her lips from mine and we both look at the door, which is now open with Louis and Ivy staring at us, very different expressions on their faces. Ivy looks like she's just seen a puppy and Louis looks like he just watched someone throw up.

"You could knock," I tell them.

"We did. You were clearly to busy to hear it," Louis says. He shuts the door and shakes his head. "Why am I always the one that walks in on you two?"

"We brought cheesecake," Ivy says after she's hugged Carmen. They both walk into the kitchen and my eyes linger on Carmen while they walk away to finish getting everything ready. Louis hits my arm to get my attention back.

"If you wanted to go on a date with Carmen you could have called and told us not to come," he says, folding his arms. He looks at the girls to make sure they're not listening and then back at me. "Let's be honest, this sucks."

"Carmen was excited." I shrug.

"Yeah well, let's put it this way: if me and Ive weren't coming over you'd probably be having sex right now." He pats my arm and walks to the kitchen as my face pulls into a frown. Cuz he's fucking right.

---

"Do you guys want to watch a movie?" Carmen asks, putting away the last of the dishes. Me and Lou exchange a look and when he's about to protest he's cut off.

"Yeah!" Ivy says. "Which one?"

"I have a bunch over here."

I'm starting to think that this night was an excuse for Carmen and Ivy to hang out, not all four of us because mostly they've just been talking. Not that I'm bored...I've entertained myself with staring at my girlfriend, but it would be nice to be able to actually have some time with her. I think I've gotten greedy, though.

"Ivy is going to rip my head off if I say anything," Louis mutters while we walk over. "This is on you."

"It's not that bad," I laugh, dropping onto the couch. Louis plants himself on Ivy's lap and Carmen puts a disc into the DVD player. She sits next to me and Ivy pulls Louis to sit on the couch too so we can 'all sit together' because apparently that's what you're supposed to do. Louis rolls his eyes but I can see that he's not all that bothered; he doesn't like to admit it, but he's completely enamoured with Ivy. He'd do anything for her.

Halfway through the movie, though, he's ready to kill her and me and Carmen are just laughing at them. The girls chose Divergent and now Ivy is all caught up in the plot and it's hilarious.

"I'm just saying, there's no way that no one knows his name," she says, pointing to the screen. "I mean, they're both from Abnegation so how does she not know who he is?"

"Maybe he never went outside," Louis says. "Now shush."

"Who never goes outside? Like, not even one time."

"I don't know."

"You'd die."

"If you don't like the movie, love, why'd you pick it?"

"I do like it, I just don't think it's a believable plot line."

"Okay." Louis' attempts to try to quiet her are not subtle at all. He looks back at the screen and we all enjoy about thirty seconds of actually watching the movie before she huffs in annoyance. "Oh my- What is wrong with you?"

"He's just trying so hard!" she exclaims, jabbing her hand at the screen. "To be all tough and mysterious and it's like, okay, you're gorgeous and she already loves you so just stop-"

Louis covers her mouth with his palm and shakes his head, laughing while she tries to get free. They're something else, those two. They wrestle for a moment before she just laughs and hides her face against his side. Then they're caught up in their own little moment and he's whispering something to her while she giggles and then they're kissing and then I don't want to be on the same couch with them.

"Stop," Carmen whispers, turning my head towards the screen.

"It's gross."

"Then don't look."

"If they're kissing, can't you kiss me?" I whisper. She laughs and I feel her fingers slip under my shirt along my hip.

"That would make it so much more weird," she says. She looks up at me and gently kisses my jaw. "Watch the movie."

"At least kick them or something," I suggest, looking at Ivy and Louis again. Carmen laughs and I pinch her sides, which makes her kick out her legs anyway and hit Ivy. Effect plan on my part. Carmen shakes her head and turns around so she's leaning back against me, my arms locked over her stomach. I can't keep my hands off her. I mean, physically cannot do it. And she makes me try because apparently PDA annoys her, so she tries to make me control myself but it's just not possible sometimes.

"I'm scared everything's going to change," I hear her whisper. She looks up at me and I frown. "When you leave."

So that's why she got so upset before. Carmen's all worried about how this is going to effect us and I don't even seem to give it a second thought. That makes so much more sense. When I try to respond to make her feel better she just shakes her head to stop me. I guess this isn't a good time to have this conversation, but she has to know that me going home doesn't change anything. At all. Being gone for a while doesn't mean I'm going to forget about how I fell. Everything good in my life has now become associated with Carmen; there's no way in hell that's going to change. I'll be miserable without her.

Notes

to be honest i dont really know what to do with this story anymore...so i think im going to be bringing it to an end soon. i feel like im just writing it because i have to and its not fun anymore :( i dont want to make this a cliche overdramatic fanfic so like...idk. im just out of ideas with these two.

i would love some help :)