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Dreaming Of You // If I'm Still Dreaming

'We were legion'

Harry’s POV

After we finished shooting the segment I left the NBC’s studio at the Rockefeller Center and went to meet some people I hadn’t seen in a while. I haven’t spent time in New York as I used to, so I finally decided to sell my condo. Jeanne would arrive at the hotel in the afternoon, just before the show, so I made the most of my short stay. I’ve been out and about all day so I’m pretty tired, but mainly because of my nervousness. We are supposed to head to Madison Square Garden to watch the Knicks afterwards with Nancy and Jimmy, and I’m looking forward to it. It feels different to be able to perform regular activities with Jeanne as if we were just any other people, as if things weren’t just so complicated… She fell in love with someone else right after me, and had a daughter with him. I’m trying to face it, because I can’t change it. Yet, sometimes it torments me. But I know I can’t change it… I can only show her I’ve grown up, that I take her seriously, and that I have her back, whether she wants me or not… I must be a losing game though, because when I look at her and either she’s ignoring me while being Audrey Hepburn’s reincarnation, talking to everyone with such kindness, from the bellboy to the show’s crew, or sitting by my side all smart and beautiful as right now, I simply can't look away.

“So here we have Mr. Harry Styles, who doesn’t need an introduction, so I will only add ‘the quickest transition from cupcake to pansexual god,’” Jimmy says, acting all serious. I can’t help but laugh, taking my arm from the back of the sofa to hold my knee. “And also we have my wife’s girl crush–––he carries on, smirking and glimpsing at Jeanne–––Miss Jeanne Mars, mostly known to anyone by her pen name, Jane Darcy, and she’s the author of The New York Times’ bestseller ‘Venetian Blinds.’ Together they star the most surreal plot twist of the era, in which she wrote stories about him and now he’s going to play one of her characters in a motion picture!” He exclaims, excited, and points at the both of us. I never thought I’d live to see a thing like this happening, an interview along with Jeanne. Life really is stranger than fiction. “Great to have you here, guys,” he says after the audience stops to acclaim. I nod my head, glancing at Jeanne with the corner of my eye. She seems relaxed. Well, why would she be nervous? She has posed completely naked in front of people. This must be like a picnic for her. “So Jeanne, Nancy only speaks great things about you, but nonetheless I’ll give you a hard time because lately you’ve been such a bad girl,” he scolds her suggestively and Jeanne laughs, pushing her head back. Yeah, it totally sounded as bad Fan Fiction. God, she’s so beautiful when she laughs. I probably shouldn’t be staring at her, as people are watching. “This is actually the first time your readers get to see your face––if you allow me, a very pretty one––as the promotion for your novel was based in mystery. You didn’t give interviews or make a book tour…”

“It was a coincidence, really,” Jeanne starts to explain, moving her left hand a bit. She doesn’t seem nervous at all, as her tone is deep and steady. Me, on the other hand, I’m not able to keep my coolness anymore. It feels like I have ants in my pants. “I would have loved to meet the readers sooner, but by the time the novel was published I was facing some personal changes, and simply couldn’t engage myself in any kind of promotion…”

“Would you mind to tell them what those changes were about?”

“I was becoming a mum, finishing my post-doctoral research and moving across the world to lecture at Stanford,” she shrugs as if it were nothing too big, casually looking at Jimmy.

“I’m a man so I couldn’t have handled half of it…” He jokes and people laugh. I glimpse at her and she has her little pucker on the lips. Great. Now the world knows the pucker. “You are the mom of a lovely, almost two-year-old girl…” Jeanne nods her head, the look of joy spreading upon her face, as every time Lara is mentioned. “You are French, but you were living in London…” She nods her head again, biting her lower lip. God, she’s so sexy tonight in that attitude, flipping her hair and with that white shirt opened along her chest, revealing just enough cleavage. “But before all this, when you were living in Paris you wrote Fan Fiction about my man Styles…” Jimmy points at me with his hand.

“We were legion,” she claims, smirking lightly after flashing me a playful, quick glance. I gulp hard, looking away. She knows I’m staring. I’m always staring.

“The thing is, in what appears to be a huge trend of this century, and like other Fan Fiction writers did before you, you transformed one of your stories into a novel–––he explains the situation. But contrary to them you made no references to Harry. So it became a simple story; no one knew it was once about him, just your publishing house, but it succeeded anyway. I suppose you weren’t expecting it…”

“I believe in hard work, but success and hard work don’t necessarily come hand in hand,” Jeanne observes. She’s so earnest. “When I was offered to turn ‘I Wish’ into a proper novel I was very prudent.”

“Harry–––Jimmy suddenly turns his attention to me, almost startling me. Since One Direction disbanded…” He interrupts himself, taking a fist to his mouth. I throw my head forward, giggling. “Sorry, I get really emotional at this…” He clears his throat, earning a general laughter. I look at him and he’s like drying a tear from the corner of his eye. “Well, you’ve been around but having some kind of break, trying to slow things down, getting back to normal, if that’s even possible…” He goes on. I nod my head. You can call it ‘jobless’ too, mate. “Had you read Jeanne’s novel before you were offered to play Sam?”

“No, I hadn’t,” I say in a husky tone, trying not to look at her.

“He’s more of a Marcel Proust or Boris Pasternak’s kind of guy…” She remarks out of the blue, surprising me a little, and it sounds like she’s smiling. I still can hear her smile…

“Proust and Pasternak?–––Jimmy inquires, impressed. That’s the pinnacle of literature.”

“Yeah…” I mutter, glancing down and playing with my fingers over my lap, suddenly self-conscious. I know she’s just trying to make me look good.

“Of course Jeanne would know these people as she holds a PhD in Literature, but I didn’t know you were such an avid reader, Harry–––Jimmy claims, enthusiastic. When did you start reading? I mean, what were the circumstances?” I don’t know how much I should say, but blame me.

“Around 2014, because of a woman I met,” I claim in a tight smirk, as I inwardly fight to ignore Jeanne, or otherwise people will suspect. But she knows I’m talking about her. I didn’t tell her openly the other day, but of course she knows it’s all because of her, and that’s why she just shifted in her seat.

“Wow, wow–––Jimmy lets out, amazed. A woman, back in 2014… Can you tell us who she was?” He questions me with a cheeky look. Don’t glimpse at Jeanne, Harry. I shake my head ‘no,’ pressing my lips together, and he flicks his hand at me. What I said is too much already. “Anyway–––he groans–––if a woman put you to read books then I can tell she made quite a impact on you.” Jeanne crosses her legs. Did I make her nervous? “What vibes am I getting from this? Was she mysterious and intellectually challenging, older, maybe?” He muses. She was hot… Jeanne squirms again, changing the position of her legs, and I can’t help but giggle. She knows I won’t tell, though it’s fun to make her nervous. Jimmy nods his head at me, but he would never imagine ‘the woman’ is this magnificent blend of a Venus, a mermaid, and a geisha sitting right next to me. “I dig older women, you know,” he says and everybody laughs. I can’t do other than shrug. People will understand what they want. “So, Jeanne, you are older too…” He tells her.

“I am.”

“Do you dig her?” He quickly turns to talk to me.

“Not because she’s older…” I mumble. Fuck. What did I say? Jimmy chuckles. “I mean, the age is not important,” I add in a foolish attempt to downplay my statement. This heat… I hope I’m not blushing.

“How do you get along?” He asks to the both of us, dropping the issue. His timing is outstanding. “Because the bond you share is pretty unreal; I mean, ending up doing a movie with a guy about whom you used to write–––he says to Jeanne. I was watching you backstage because you are quite hard not to look at, and you seem very comfortable around each other…” He glances at us, pushing his body back in his chair as if he were studying us. His words make me so weak… Act cool, Harold, for the love of God.

“We get on very well, in fact,” I state, glimpsing at Jeanne, though I can’t catch a sight of her expression.

“How is Harry, Jeanne?–––he questions her, bending over. Was he as you expected him to be?”

“I should say he’s even better than anything I could have imagined simply because he exists beyond the limits of my mind–––Jeanne muses blithely and Jimmy frowns a little. He is his own self, and that’s just fine.”

“Harry–––he turns his attention to me again. How does it feel to have this skillful deponent writing Fan Fiction about you?” Jeanne laughs and I can’t help but chuckle. He caught her ways really quick. “Weird? Honored?”

“Plain honoured–––I assert, taking a hand to my heart. I’m grateful with everyone who thought of me to dream a bit. I am an entertainer… I’m supposed to take people from their own reality for a while. I must have been doing my job well.” I shrug and I see she’s smiling at me. Yes, I’m using your metaphor…

“And what about someone studying you?–––Jimmy retorts. Because, Jeanne, you have a PhD, but the post-doctoral research you mentioned and several articles you published are also about Harry…” Here we go. Obsession implied. Jeanne smiles warmly.

“Yes, about Harry’s phenomenon,” she quietly points out. Obsession denied, and with such coolness. I’m sure I’ll never see her lose control, or even blink.

“Even if they didn’t publish proper works the fans spent a lot of time studying us at some point or another–––I intervene–––because they wanted to know us better. But proper works definitely sound sexy…” I didn’t know she had more stuff published so I’m stunned. Why did she continue writing about me? I thought she would be done with me. I shake my head. Don’t get your hopes up, Harry. It’s sort of logical. Once you start a line of work I bet you get stuck with it. But why didn’t she tell me about it?

“And why did you choose him?” I hear him insist. I can’t help but replay Paris.

“Just because of that–––Jeanne replies, shrugging one shoulder sensuously. Because his fans loved him… I wanted to understand how it happened. All this energy, and dreams and expectations in life were cast upon him. I found it fascinating… I fell in love with the way they loved him.” Listening to her repeating the word ‘love’ so much is making me a bit dizzy.

“So that’s what you told them at the Sorbonne–––Jimmy ironises, looking right at her. And they believed you…”

“Why wouldn’t they?” She giggles, completely ignoring his point.

“So you say you did all this because you were fascinated by his fans–––he continues as if he were confused–––and not because you had a crush on him.”

“Everybody had a crush on him–––she retorts–––even you…” The audience’s reaction is loud.

“She’s dangerous,” Jimmy asserts, astonished, looking at me while pointing at her. Tell me about it… She crushed me as if I was one of those pieces of paper she writes in.

–.–.–

Notes

So it begins! 1/4 of Harry struggling as never before!

I know 1D taking a break or splitting up is a hot topic these days. I didn't imagine it would start so soon. Or did I? Softballchick, in our worst predictions we said it would happen after the tour was over... :O Anyway, I only hope Harry gets to do whatever pleases him, without having to meet anybody's expectations. Of course it won't be the same for those who love 1D, but let's give them the benefit of doubt. Our boys are grown men now :D

Intensity will rise, be sure of it! Next chapter is...!!! I have important stuff these next two weeks, but I'll try to update sooner than expected if we manage to take this story to 380 votes. Please, friends, vote. Not only in this story if you enjoy it and you haven't voted yet, but on the stories you are subscribed to. Many great writers are dropping their stories because they don't have our support. Go to your subscription list and vote. Give them a little joy and a little motivation to carry on :) I'm ready to meet your expectations so let me know what you think and you expect from the next chapters and this story! Your support is the difference between writing and writers block! Love you all <3

Comments

miss you a lot friend,
message me sometime if you have the chance ❤️

You promised you would never make us wait for an update that long again... *cries*

Hello,

I hope your life is everything that you want it to be. It seems like the past couple of months have really changed my perspective of the world, and how much you need to appreciate the little things in life. You never know when life will snatch them away from you.

I have really appreciated all that you have done for me. I miss your constantly developing plot, and your infinitesimal points of detail. In other words, I miss this story so much.

I feel like so much has happened since the last time you updated. I hope you know that I am always eagerly awaiting your next chapter. Even if it's 5 years from now, and I am a fully licensed Speech Language Pathologist, I will try my best to keep up my support. Maybe next year while I am studying abroad in Italy you will find the motivation to continue. Who knows what's going to happen. Maybe I should take the quote from the t-shirt I am currently wearing. "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know you're gonna get."

Thanks,
Morgan

Morgan__Who Morgan__Who
2/13/18

Oh no, and then the moment came there's no next chapter anymore! What do I have to do with my spare time now?!
On a serious note: I loved loved looooooved your story so far. I loved the way the sequel wasn't the same as 'Dreaming of you'. Another timeset, other places, other people getting involved, and the tension being build up from the beginning till now. Their 'relationship' didn't went back to the way things were in France 4 years ago, it needed time to get together again and in a different way (happy about their love right now, but after 111 chapters I know things can change...). I really loved the way you wrote about Mark Owen as being Jeanne's 'Boyband crush'. I've been such a big fan of Take That and Mark was my first true love when I was 11 or so. His picture was hanging above my bed, wich I kissed goodnight every night. (I guess I've just spilled my age, haven't I? ;-) )
When I read the last comments, I think your last update was from 2 months ago. I really hope you can find the time, the energy and the inspiration to finish this story, because I'm hooked! Give me a warning when you'll write a book, I will be in front of the bookstore, waiting!

Love, Leah



leah leah
7/17/17

Dear You,

I've started reading this story two days ago. From the very first chapter I'm hooked and I can't stop reading. I don't want to go out, I don't want to sleep, I just want to read. Not to know how it will end actually, because I don't want it to end! So I try to find a balance between reading fast en making it last a little bit longer. I'm a fan of Harry from the day Sign of the times has released, so I have a lot of catching up to do. When you mention a song or a situation with One Direction, I look for it on Google or YouTube. So you're helping me to get to know the world of Harry and 1D, thank you for that! I've been to Paris a couple of times, It's such a beautiful city. I have good, romantic, memories of the times I've been there. You're writing about the city is so accurate and lively, it feels I'm there again by reading. My heart nearly broke for Harry and Jeanne when I read the last chapter of Dreaming of you. Happy to know there's a sequel, I going to start reading that now. I just wanted to write you this, because in the notes below the chapters you seem like a very nice, caring person. Thank you for writing such a beautiful story! (I hope my writing makes sence, English isn't my native language so I know I make a lot of mistakes. I'm sorry!)
Love, Leah

leah leah
7/15/17