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Dreaming Of You // If I'm Still Dreaming

'Please, lie to me'

[WARNING: Adult content below. Read at your own discretion.]

We weren’t exactly in the best position to return to our party to get the keys. Our mouths were reddish and swollen; our suits, wrinkled and all messed up; the hair, as if we had passed a windstorm; the collar of my shirt, stained in lipstick… I had a massive hard-on and Jeanne looked absolutely mesmerising, though you could tell she had orgasmed five minutes earlier. But going to my hotel wasn’t an option. It always leaks to the press when I travel alone. We could have waited, but I didn’t want to wait… I couldn’t risk for Jeanne to change her mind.

As we tried to neaten ourselves up I found a scarf in my pocket and put it around my neck to dissimulate the most visible issue. If I wanted to stand in front of her mother I would need to keep my chin down and my hair and jacket in place. I was quite nervous, but on the other hand Jeanne didn’t seem very worried. Somehow her attitude thrilled me. She had one hell of a character.

I climbed up the stairs hiding behind her as we planned to keep the unwanted gazes away from my manhood. When we were about to reach the top floor some sort of strange feeling swarmed me. Guillaume would be there, and Jeanne and I were going to return together and with those looks. Even if he didn't realise what we had been doing he’d know for sure we had been together. And what would that mean? That Jeanne didn’t care about him figuring everything out? What about the rest? They'd already witnessed our kiss at La Sorbonne… Was she OK with them knowing that now we were leaving together? God, she had me so confused. I knew sex was implied, but was this suggesting something more or was it just me exercising my wishful thinking? Well, whatever that would be, we needed to face them in the first place.

As we approached the table I tried to stay cool. Somehow I realised many people had already left. How long had we been missing? I had absolutely lost track of time. But of course, Guillaume was still there. Prick… The girl was mine and he was going to learn. Anne was the first one who noticed our presence, and instinctively gesticulated, though as she scanned us she stopped on her tracks. Guillaume must have seen her because he turned around in his chair and simply glared. I couldn’t help but rejoice. Pat saw us too and was barely able to muffle his laughter. Totally busted.

“Anne–––Jeanne started to say struggling to be natural–––I’m going to show Harry…” She suddenly hesitated. We both froze up. She could be a Doctor, but she hadn’t thought of an alibi.

“Shakespeare and Company,” I hurried to add, pulling my hands together in front of me. I didn’t even know if it was near, but no wonder it was the only name that crossed my mind. Jeanne lightly turned around to glimpse at me.

“Yes, Shakespeare and Company,” she repeated assertively. We seemed two absolute fools. It was so obvious she wasn't going to show me anything of that sort.

“Oh, it sounds lovely–––Anne grinned, raising her eyebrows, just playing along. It’s late and, anyway, we were leaving. Have a nice time, children…” She began to stand up.

“I’ll just grab my bag,” Jeanne said under her breath, stepping forward.

“Jeanne, your flies are open,” Lolo remarked out of the blue in a high-pitched tone, resting his arm in the back of his chair, and acting casual he leant backward to quizzically look at Guillaume. Now it really was a public matter. I hardly muffled a chuckle as Jeanne bounced around and led her fingers to her trousers. As she looked up while zipping them our eyes locked and she timidly smirked at me. She pushed her hair out of her face and a rosy tone spread upon her cheeks. A huge wave of heat surged me from my feet instantly.

“Children aren’t the only ones who blush, sweet Jane,” I paraphrased Lou Reed in a lop-sided grin, shaking my head lightly. I don’t know what came on me. It just slipped out of my mouth. Jeanne's smile grew broader and in that fraction of a second I knew it… We stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed an eternity. I had turned absolutely weak.

“Jeanne…” Guillaume rushed towards her, making us react. I hated it. They started murmuring things to one another while I glared at them, everyone around trying to ignore us.

“Non, mais ce n’est pas ton affaire,” she stated at him. Affair? Did she just tell him I was an ‘affair’? My blood boiled through my veins. [A/N: No, she told him it was none of his business.]

“Shall I come with you, Harry?” Pat murmured to my ear, suddenly appearing by my side the moment I was about to snap and interrupt them. Glimpsing at Jeanne and Guillaume, who were still arguing, I told him to stay with Maurice if he wanted, as I needed to be alone with her to clear things out. He didn’t seem very sure but I promised we’d get a taxi straight to Jeanne’s flat.

Guillaume didn’t seem too happy and I wasn’t jumping up and down either, but at some point she just left him standing and kissed everyone around, finally walking up to the lift. After shaking a few hands except his and holding Anne, I followed Jeanne in silence, grumpier than ever. At least I wouldn’t be out in the streets with a hard-on anymore. No need to say she was more than aware of my sudden change of mood, but as usual, she just kept it quiet. How could she be like this? How could she leave me hanging? I knew outdoors wasn't the right place to start an argument, but after we walked a whole street trying to find a taxi I felt I couldn’t stand it anymore.

“What did you tell him?” I grumbled approaching her, but at the same time trying to remain casual.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jeanne claimed without even looking at me, tightly grabbing the strap of her messenger bag. Her answer fuelled my anger.

“Yes, it does!” I raised my voice. Jeanne faced me and glared.

“No, it doesn’t!”

Now we were back in square one… mad at each other. She turned away and continued walking and I couldn’t just stay this way. I passed her side and grabbing her by the wrist I pulled from her towards an alleyway a bit away from us. I made her get inside, preventing her back from hitting the wall. Her eyes shimmered in the darkness. What was she trying to hide? It didn’t make any sense… And in my frustration I did the only thing I wanted to do when I had her in front of me: Kiss her, as if a kiss could bring all the answers I needed. How could I be this angry at her and at the same time so aroused? We were just driving each other crazy… What we were doing wasn’t sane, but we couldn’t stop. There was this force binding us together. It was impossible to resist, the intensity, the thrill. But somehow I started to feel different.

As soon as we came out of the alleyway Jeanne saw a taxi and hailed at it. I didn’t lose my time and continued kissing her all the way to her building. When a few minutes later the taxi pulled off at her doorstep we both gestured to pay. We glared at each other for a second and automatically began to argue. God, she was impossible. Finally it was the driver who solved the quarrel grabbing my money. But things didn’t end up there, as we just couldn’t drop it, and we climbed up the six floors caught between the same amount of arguing and kissing.

And once inside we continued kissing against the door, and started to undress. Jackets, tie, shirts… all gone. I pulled her near and fondled her breast yearningly, sucking her lips down to her chin and her neck and cleavage. I was desperate for her. I had been desperate for her ever since the day I met her, whatever that day really was. I wrapped my lips around her nipple, bending her backwards. I couldn’t have enough of her. I needed to chill down or otherwise I’d come into my boxers. It was as if she read my mind because she pulled off and stepping back she began to untie the strap of her shoes. How could she lean like this? How could she keep the perfect angle of her legs? Once she straightened up my heart raced out of control. The trousers were about to be off, and there wouldn’t be a thing between her suspenders and me.

At the vision I felt like dying. Messy hair, naked torso, black, lacy underwear and nude stocking… I forced myself not to squeeze my chest into my hand, my cock throbbing painfully. And she didn’t take them off. God, how could she be so tempting? She just battered her eyelashes and walked back to me, resting her breasts against my skin. I shivered. I was so mad about that touch. Jeanne’s hands resolutely moved to my flies. I kicked off my shoes and removed my socks. Then she began to feel my cock above my boxers, purring quietly. I just pushed my head back and closed my eyes, gulping hard and breathing with difficulty. She dragged my trousers down my legs and slowly pulled from the sides of my boxers while kissing my sternum. My hands, until then stuck to the door, travelled to her hips, and grabbing her by the suspenders I brought her closer.

“Why did you put them on?” I asked sharply, my eyes still closed. I wasn’t sure if I could listen to the answer.

“To prevent my stocking from slipping off…” God, I was an ass. Luckily Jeanne was used to overlook the fact.

I opened my eyes and stared into hers with urge. Why would she want to be with someone like me? I sensed my boxers falling to the floor and stepped out of them. Holding my gaze Jeanne began to kneel down and I knew what was coming next. My stomach burnt in nervous anticipation. Once she reached my belly button she stuck her pink tongue out, and sliding the underside along my abdomen she clasped my length with her left hand. I bounced involuntarily. Jeanne deliciously licked down my pelvis and kissed my groin, softly pumping my shaft. I pushed her hair aside and eyes locked I started to caress the back of her neck while she slowly circled her thumb over the head of my cock, again and again. I twitched, lightly complaining. Her body was kneeling so close to mine, but I needed her even closer. Jeanne gestured a minimal grin and glancing down she rolled her lips down my length.

Heavenly widened roses seem to whisper to me when you smile.

As the lyrics flashed into my memory I moaned deeply. Jeanne… Suddenly my mind was filled with lines from songs and poetry. I threw my head back, closing my eyes tightly. Only Jeanne could do this to me… My heart hurt. I glimpsed down, a hand on her hair. How could she be so ravishing? It was almost impossible for the soul to bear… Mesmerised I watched my length sliding in and out from her mouth. My sweet, sweet Jane… I closed my eyes again and shook my head as Jeanne began to move her chin to the sides. The familiar buzz warmed up around my heart but soon I felt the imminence of climax rising from my crotch and begged her to stop. I couldn’t be done so quickly.

Kissing and grasping each other’s body eagerly we walked away from the door, bumping into things in our way to the bed. I was supposed to be mad at her… I was mad at her, but somehow this was my way to express my anger, roughly kissing, imperatively pulling, fingers digging on her tender flesh. I lied her down on her back and knelt by the end of the bed, dragging her closer. Jeanne began to squirm in expectation. I untied one stocking from the suspenders and slid my hand inside to ease it down, going insane at the feel of her soft skin. I did the same with the other, forcefully pulling from it. With my eyes fixed on Jeanne’s I undid the belt and started to remove her knickers, her chest rising and falling, jaw fluttering. I just couldn’t stop staring at her… Once they were off I folded her legs around my head and assaulted the inner side of her knee, trailing hot kisses all the way up along her thigh.

God, to have her so naked in my arms again, and so near… It was as if my heart was going to escape my chest. I bowed my head to her pubis slowing down a bit, just feeling her warmth and her scent, and how she was quivering underneath me. My desire arose and I plunged my face in her. Her taste filled my mouth, flooding my senses and driving me wild. Jeanne moaned, arching her back at my touch, clutching my hair with her fingers.

I worked my tongue against her, swirling it in a circular motion. Jeanne writhed in pleasure, massaging my hair to bring me closer and tugging at the sheets by her side. This hunger I had for her… To have her like this only made it worse. I could devour her. I trailed my tongue in her entrance, lightly playing with my tip. Her hips jolted, and I pushed two fingers inside. Her wetness made me tremble… It was all because of me. She twitched and gasped in rapture, making me groan into her glossy skin in response. I moved my fingers back and forth as I wrapped my lips around her clitoris, sensing her clench around them. I knew she was getting close. I slowly pulled off, eyes half shut, taking a hand to feel my tingling lips. When I leant forward to crawl into her, rubbing my palm on my glans, Jeanne suddenly rolled out of bed and walked away. I turned around, confused, and watched her grab something from the tallboy, but she quickly returned to my side. I had sat down in bed, trying to understand what she was doing. Once I saw the foil between her fingers my heart skipped a beat. She unwrapped the condom and began to unroll it down my shaft. I was dazed but somehow I didn’t go soft under her touch. What did this freaking mean? That she had been with somebody else? Or was she assuming I did? We had been apart for months. I couldn’t pretend things to be exactly as they were…

Before I could say a word she crawled into bed and grasping the headboard she suggestively pushed her body back to me. God, she was going to kill me… She was going to kill me but I didn’t want her to kill me. I wanted her to love me… I was so mad, but this was too much for me to resist. I rubbed the latex in my hand trying to get used to it and crawled into bed too. I placed myself behind her, rolling her hair away and in one single, longing thrust I entered her fully. Jeanne whinged and leapt in my grip. I shook my head. This wasn’t us… I began to rock my hips and she grabbed my side, her back resting on my chest, but this didn’t feel like us… These were two strangers, not us.

"Let me take it off–––I pleaded, speaking to her neck. I hadn’t been with anyone else than you, and if you have, I don't care. I know you’d have used one with him, but not with me, Jeanne, not with me…” I don’t know if I could have said those words looking into her eye.

I circled my arms tightly around her belly, and we stayed like this in silence for almost too long, her head thrown forward, breathing jaggedly. She must have been thinking. I didn’t want to ask or even wonder about her thoughts. We were lovers and this is what lovers do. I had already asked too much for my liking. At one moment Jeanne let go of my side and led her hand back to the headboard, pulling herself away from me. I knew I had to move fast.

I removed the condom from myself, and while pumping my glans I reached out for Jeanne and made her turn around. Her body collided with mine and I kissed her deeply, one hand in the back of her neck and my arm around her waist. She motioned her body to come on top of me, but this time I wasn’t letting her get away with it. Pulling from her thighs she soon was on her back and I was hovering over her, slipping between her legs. My heart pounded frantically against my ribcage.

Staring into Jeanne’s eyes I buried myself deep inside her, a sharp exhalation coming from my lips, my arms almost failing me. Her back arched and she tilted her head. This was us… this feeling of her around me, and it almost made me cry. I began to thrust in, and then out, her hips bucking towards me instinctively, looking for me, for this pleasure that had started to grow between us, surging everywhere. This vision of her was simply heartbreaking… I bent down to kiss her fervently, our chests writhing closely. But I needed even more… I brought her legs either side of my thighs and wrapped them around my waist. My angle deepened and I could do nothing but moan into our kiss, her warmth and tightness sending my heart to frenzy.

Propped up in an elbow and in one hand I rocked my hips on Jeanne so hard and slowly, her body deliciously taking up to my movements. She was going to kill me and I was going to watch her doing it… But how could I stop this? I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to stay like this forever, our breaths washing over each other, mingled with rough kisses and warm tongues. I shook my head and thrust even harder, as the tingling sensation began to swarm me.

“Love me, Jeanne–––I said to my mind. Please, love me.” It would be so easy if she just loved me.

I filled her completely, withdrawing myself to my tip on each slow but deep penetration, feeling her like never before under this mad state of soul. I brought myself onto my hands creating a space between our chests to gain intensity, and bowed my head to her, moving my lips along her damp skin as I sucked and lapped her neck up to her mouth. She had made an absolute mess of me. My love for her was wild, and the more I thrust the more I wanted, and the deeper I got inside her the more I needed her…

“Read my mind, Jeanne. Say you love me…–––I thought, my eyes fixed on her parted lips as she exhaled the most delightful soft sounds. Please, lie to me…”

She must have sensed my intent gaze because she opened her eyes, reaching out for my forehead to bring me to her mouth. The tips of our tongues caressed lightly amidst our erratic breathing. She tightened around me, convulsing uncontrollably, her entire body shaking. I threw my head back. How could I not love her if she was everything, if she had awoken this side of me I had only sensed until then? I rolled my hips on her, and flicked them from side to side. This… This was my home. I bent down to glance at her, her orgasm sweeping over her. The convulsion of her body sent me straight to the edge, spreading waves of electricity throughout my limbs until I could not longer hold it. I let out a strangled moan and released myself inside her, panting furiously. She was killing me…

“I can’t do this anymore,” I stated after a moment, glancing away as I took myself from the crook of her neck, moving to the end of the bed. Her mother was right. We couldn’t carry on with this because I was madly in love with her and there was no way in the world Jeanne could love me like I loved her.

“I know…” She murmured, and I turned to look at her.

“Call it survival instinct, I don’t know…–––I shrugged. You are the Doctor.” Jeanne just nodded her head, sitting with her back against the headboard and massaging her hair. “I have to leave,” I said, standing up and walking towards the clothes sprawled around the door. I began to get dressed randomly. This was what I felt in the alleyway, and I needed to go through with it before I’d lose my drive. Resisting the urge to look towards the bed I finished to button my shirt. I bent down to pick up my jacket and put it on, tucking my hair behind my ear. And then I remembered it. I led my hand to my heart and felt my inner pocket. “I had this for you… It’s just something I researched,” I mumbled without looking at her, placing the box over the table. My knees went weak and I just threw myself to the door. “I want you to have it. Well, then…” I stumbled upon my own words as I opened the door. I slightly cleared my throat and glimpsed up towards her direction, but I hesitated. “Congratulations,” I muttered turning around and crossing the threshold. I rushed down the stairs without thinking it twice.

As I reached the street I stopped on my tracks, hearing the thick wooden door closing at my back. I pulled the collar of my jacket up and momentarily covered my eyes, beginning to walk towards the hotel. With the tips of my fingers I poked the small envelope still resting inside my pocket.

–.–.–

Notes

OK, super intense chapter.

About unprotected sex. Never engage yourself in unprotected intercourses unless you use at least another extra way of birth control , as Jeanne does. But even in that case, to have unprotected sex you have at least to know about your partner's sex life, and be sure he/she had used protection every time with previous sexual partners. Unprotected sex is about trust, and not only about preventing pregnancy. Sexual diseases are a serious matter. Harry and Jeanne were having unprotected sex because they decided so, and that's why this turn of event really affected him. Though is somebody brave enough to state Harry read the situation the right way? Or his assumptions and fears lost him?

Thank you so much, KAOT, for your support while writing this chapter. I wouldn't have done it without you. So, we are five chapters to the end. Let's take this story to 1000 comments. Come on, just nine comments and I'll work my best to update again this weekend! I need to know what you think at this critical point. Don't let me down! I love you all. Thank you so much for reading.

Comments

miss you a lot friend,
message me sometime if you have the chance ❤️

You promised you would never make us wait for an update that long again... *cries*

Hello,

I hope your life is everything that you want it to be. It seems like the past couple of months have really changed my perspective of the world, and how much you need to appreciate the little things in life. You never know when life will snatch them away from you.

I have really appreciated all that you have done for me. I miss your constantly developing plot, and your infinitesimal points of detail. In other words, I miss this story so much.

I feel like so much has happened since the last time you updated. I hope you know that I am always eagerly awaiting your next chapter. Even if it's 5 years from now, and I am a fully licensed Speech Language Pathologist, I will try my best to keep up my support. Maybe next year while I am studying abroad in Italy you will find the motivation to continue. Who knows what's going to happen. Maybe I should take the quote from the t-shirt I am currently wearing. "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know you're gonna get."

Thanks,
Morgan

Morgan__Who Morgan__Who
2/13/18

Oh no, and then the moment came there's no next chapter anymore! What do I have to do with my spare time now?!
On a serious note: I loved loved looooooved your story so far. I loved the way the sequel wasn't the same as 'Dreaming of you'. Another timeset, other places, other people getting involved, and the tension being build up from the beginning till now. Their 'relationship' didn't went back to the way things were in France 4 years ago, it needed time to get together again and in a different way (happy about their love right now, but after 111 chapters I know things can change...). I really loved the way you wrote about Mark Owen as being Jeanne's 'Boyband crush'. I've been such a big fan of Take That and Mark was my first true love when I was 11 or so. His picture was hanging above my bed, wich I kissed goodnight every night. (I guess I've just spilled my age, haven't I? ;-) )
When I read the last comments, I think your last update was from 2 months ago. I really hope you can find the time, the energy and the inspiration to finish this story, because I'm hooked! Give me a warning when you'll write a book, I will be in front of the bookstore, waiting!

Love, Leah



leah leah
7/17/17

Dear You,

I've started reading this story two days ago. From the very first chapter I'm hooked and I can't stop reading. I don't want to go out, I don't want to sleep, I just want to read. Not to know how it will end actually, because I don't want it to end! So I try to find a balance between reading fast en making it last a little bit longer. I'm a fan of Harry from the day Sign of the times has released, so I have a lot of catching up to do. When you mention a song or a situation with One Direction, I look for it on Google or YouTube. So you're helping me to get to know the world of Harry and 1D, thank you for that! I've been to Paris a couple of times, It's such a beautiful city. I have good, romantic, memories of the times I've been there. You're writing about the city is so accurate and lively, it feels I'm there again by reading. My heart nearly broke for Harry and Jeanne when I read the last chapter of Dreaming of you. Happy to know there's a sequel, I going to start reading that now. I just wanted to write you this, because in the notes below the chapters you seem like a very nice, caring person. Thank you for writing such a beautiful story! (I hope my writing makes sence, English isn't my native language so I know I make a lot of mistakes. I'm sorry!)
Love, Leah

leah leah
7/15/17