Dreaming Of You // If I'm Still Dreaming

“It’s official. Liam and Niall are sleeping as babies in their rooms,” Zayn chuckles devilishly, rubbing his hands together, as he walks by the corridor.

“Fine. So, Stan, tape that new sheet of paper on the wall,” Louis commands, sitting on the lounge area. There’s no need to hide in my room.

“I’m a bit drunk…–––Stan mumbles. My writing will be awful.” How could he be drunk after just two beers?

“It’s better than nothing,” Louis meditates. Stan shrugs and approaches the wall. The paper is so bent. “Well, Harry, you’ve been sort of chatting with her–––Louis says towards my direction. That’s great news. Any relevant information?”

“Well, not much–––I mutter. We talked about her Fan Fictions and the band. She seems aware of the reality-fantasy dichotomy. But then I asked her if she’s coming to see us on tour in order to find out where she is from…”

“And what did she answer you?” Zayn snaps.

“Neither one thing nor the other–––I explain. She is not sure, but didn’t mention any city. Then I told her I’m from London; so, if she’s from London, she’ll tell me.”

“Clever move–––Stan says pointing at me with his pen, glancing from the side. Being able to discard London is a big deal. And if she tells you she lives there, well, it would simplify our research very much–––he claims sipping his bottle. But, for now we stick to the schedule: Profile, notes, and comments. I had her profile to analyse. As you already know, she doesn’t say much. Any direct mention to statistics, age, origin or current city. She only states she loves to read and write, that she likes to push boundaries further, but doesn’t say anything specific about One Direction or Harry, as other girls usually do. This could mean something in the line of our previous preliminary conclusion number two: Not an average Directioner. I’ll try to write this down now, so wish me luck. Louis, you had notes and comments on ‘A Season In Paris.’ You go ahead,” he speaks, turning towards the wall right behind him.

“I haven’t properly finished to read the whole Fan Fiction yet, but I read all comments and notes and crossed some interesting facts–––Louis states, very engrossed in. First of all, she is very communicative. She always answers back. So, ILoveTommoBear, don’t feel too special–––he mocks me. Well, the second fact: She never gives much information neither about herself nor about what she thinks. She prefers to ask questions. Three–––he says returning his attention to his little notebook, she seems a lot into writing and sounds utterly confident about herself. She never says anything as ‘tell me how to make this better;’ Four, she’s sort of driven. It shows. That’s why she caught your eye, Romeo–––he pokes my cheek, and I smile. And, finally, five, any mention to personal accounts on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Kik, Youtube, Tumblr, nor any other renowned social media, which is sort of strange because Directioners are very gregarious, very communitarian. They tend to be around each other, but this one doesn’t seem to participate. So, I’m wondering if she actually has a Twitter account and follows you, Harry.” I’ve been wondering the same lately.

“Outstanding work, Tommo bear!–––Stan exclaims. You’ll expose your preliminary conclusions later, as the rest of us,” he carries on, sitting down.

“I need a glass of water,” Louis remarks and opens a bottle.

“Now, Zayn! Do your magic, mate.”

“Well, I’m not as much articulate as our outstanding Tommo here–––he jokes, neither as much organised as him, but I think I’ve done it well because the remarks I bring to this meeting are pretty much the same–––he states, grinning. OK, I had comments and notes on ‘I Wish.’ The girl; she seems extremely sociable, but doesn’t advertise her social media accounts. All the time her topics surround the story, the plausibility of the characters and plots, the details… But she’s very patient and thoughtful when somebody seems to dislike her work or criticises anything–––he says, patting his notebook. By the comments, I can tell plenty of people complain to her because she doesn’t follow some sort of ‘Code’ about us–––he explains and Louis raises his eyebrows. I guess they refer to what they expect for us to be, our girlfriends, facts they know about us, and stuff like that. As she states herself on her profile, DreamingOfYou likes to push boundaries and some readers get angry with her, for a fact. But she’s cool, relaxed, and very confident. As Louis said, it shows!–––he exclaims. Nice choice, Harry–––he taps my shoulder. Now I get to understand you better. As soon as I get to bed I’ll begin to read ‘A Season In Paris;’ Louis told me I’m not engaged there…” He chuckles.

“Harry, you had ‘Bookstore Girl/Gotta Be You,’ her first Fan Fiction on this website,” Stan points out.

“Well, I hadn’t paid too much attention on comments before when I read it one year ago, but I liked what I found out. Louis and Zayn are right–––I say. She’s outgoing, straightforward, empathising and kind with everyone as she is with me on her messages…” My voice cracks a bit by the end. I don’t really know what I expected.

“Come on, Harry…” Louis mumbles.

“No, she is–––I insist. And it’s fine…”

“Harry, she doesn’t know it’s you–––he explains in a reassuring tone, patting my knee. If she knew, she’d be dead. As simple as that.”

“She seems very into me on her Fan Fictions, but on her notes or comments she doesn’t write anything as bold as ‘he drives me insane.’ Maybe she prefers to keep it away from the public view, which is coherent with her attitude not to advertise her social media accounts–––I meditate glancing at Stan, who nods. So, my guess is that she’s quite inconspicuous. I think we should go to the preliminary conclusions now.”

“Well, writing all this stuff down it’s harder than giving one of your shows, I’m telling you–––Stan jokes, his pen on his hand. So, preliminary conclusions…” He points out at Louis, eager to speak.

“Not an average Directioner. Full stop,” Louis states, confidently.

“But what does ‘average Directioner’ really mean?–––Stan asks us quizzically. How is an average Directioner? Is it an English directioner? Or an American Directioner? Maybe a teenager Directioner? They make the greater fuss, but there has to be other ways to like you, boys.”

“But she writes Fan Fiction anyway,” Zayn observes the obvious.

“I insist she’s older. Even though she writes Fan Fiction, her approach is other than fangirling. I can feel it,” Louis explains. The French girl seems sealed into his mind. It already is his fantasy more than my own. I like the possibility as many others.

“That’s what you think because of that smut scene you read today, the one you were actually in…” Stan mocks him and we all burst into laughs. Louis doesn’t seem embarrassed.

“Oh, my–––he mutters rolling his eyes. She knows stuff. She’s older. She’s in college, at least.”

“Yeah, we caught her attention starting college because she’s into Ancient Greece…” Zayn says casually, out of the blue.

“Wow, Zayn, that’s genius–––Stan reacts to his words. Explain us more.”

“I’m a genius but I don’t brag about it as this little fellow–––he says reaching Louis’ cheek passing above my lap. In Ancient Greece they had this cult on handsome, young males in their early twenties. They called them ‘ephebes,’ and it was sort of an institution. Almost every Greek or Roman statue of a male is an ephebe. You can see them in all great museums of Europe, as far as I know–––he explains. Well, maybe she was a bit older than us in the beginning but liked us anyway.”

“I thought it was because of the music,” Louis complains in frustration.

“Yeah, the music–––Zayn mocks him, grinning. Come back to reality. Older women enjoy our music but don’t love it with the passion of a teenager. There’s an actual explanation to that fact, related to the stage in your life when you choose your particular taste. It’s almost already done when you get to nineteen years old. And then you stick to that all your life,” he observes with confidence. How does he know this stuff?

“Zayn, you are like the British Encyclopaedia!” Stan exclaims, enthusiastic.

“I’m just a boy from Bradford…” Zayn quietly mumbles.

“Well, after this brief digression, we return to our preliminary conclusions–––Stan commands and we all look back at him. We agree on ‘not an average Directioner,’ meaning no fangirling, relaxed approach, meaning maybe older…” He says, writing down on the paper with difficulty.

“And probably British or European…” Louis insists.

“They fangirl too, you know?” I say.

“But they have another edge. I hope time prove me right,” Louis states, very sure of himself.

“Well, now we get to sleep or read, if we want to–––Stan says. You have two busy days ahead; so next official meeting will be after your last show. We can read in our free time and comment it between each other. Next aspect to analyse: Writing. Here comes the good stuff, smut, especially. Show me your talent, boys!” He exclaims, dismissing our little meeting.

“After this I’ll have a master degree on smut–––Louis remarks, cheekily. I’m so into it.”

“We know…” I retort, tapping his chest as I stand up from the sofa.

“What’s going on here?” We suddenly hear Niall’s voice, which appears rubbing his eyes at us from the corridor. Everyone is petrified. Caught, again.

“Nothing, mate,” Louis mutters casually.

“No, I heard you–––Niall insists. You were blathering non-stop. And what is that paper right there?” He says with his finger extended towards the wall. This is just as with Zayn all over again.

“You can have no secrets around here…” Louis asserts.

“Secrets? What are you talking about, Tommo?” He seems perplex, or extremely sleepy.

“Is Liam sleeping?” Louis asks.

“As a stone; yeah,” Niall answers.

“Well, so you are in now,” Zayn states.

“In? Where?” Niall asks, scratching his head.

“Our little research,” Stan points out.

“Research? About what?” Oh, my, he’s slow.

“Harry’s girl from Fan Fiction,” Louis blurts, finally. Without taking his hands from his waist Niall slowly turns towards me, disconcerted.

“Harry, mate, I promise I’ll be your wing man tomorrow–––he says in a serious tone. Just get a real girl like now!” He gesticulates with a hand, increasing the sensation of despair in his words. I roll my eyes at him, annoyed.

“You are not supposed to be hitting on girls while on tour,” Stan cackles.

“Yeah. We’ve been doing it since day one–––Niall states. And this is a cry for help. You should help him to get laid instead of this nonsense!” He exclaims almost angry. Why does he care?

“I don’t need help to get laid!” I say to him with emphasis, but trying not to raise my voice too much.

“I knew Niall would be a pain in the ass!” Louis claims.

“Yeah, pal–––Zayn carries on. You are not fun. We all like this girl. We want to meet her and we will.”

“Yeah!” We all say in unison.

“Why don’t you tell her that and cut the crap?” Niall tries to meditate with us.

“Because what’s important here is the journey, not only the destination–––Louis says, enlightened. We are learning so much about ourselves and about the fans with this…”

“Is that true, Zayn?” Niall asks him quizzically.

“It is actually–––Zayn answers sincerely. It’s unbelievable how they perceive and interpret us, the way they conceive us in their minds.” He’s a true poet.

“Well, I’m curious already. I want to know everything about it,” Niall finally surrenders.

–.–.–

As Stan well predicted these last two days have being absolutely insane. Two consecutive shows and I’m literally crushed. I hadn’t almost found the time to read, but at least I checked my messages. She replied to me the other day, but she seems an ace in deflecting questions. I wonder if it’s on purpose.

DreamingOfYou: Dear ILoveTommoBear, are you from London? I thought everyone around here was from The States…

What did she mean by that? Is she from America herself? This is so confusing. She must be American. It’s the obvious thing to be. There are more teenagers in America than in France. Well, but what if she’s not a teenager anymore? What if Louis is right and she’s older, as everything suggests? Maybe she’s American and older, like that girl from 1D Day. She was cute. I wouldn’t care to meet her right now.

I know I should answer DreamingOfYou’s message, but I’m late for the party already. The boys are waiting for me at the lobby. I’ll write to her afterwards or tomorrow, from the plane. I’ve been napping by the pool almost the entire day, so let’s see what Brazil has been holding for me all this time.

–.–.–

Notes

So it continues.

Thank you for reading.