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Dreaming Of You // If I'm Still Dreaming

'Let’s see if she’s a proper pen pal'

Later that night I checked if she had updated her current Fan Fiction, ‘A Season In Paris,’ and rated and subscribed to it as I had an account. My logical next action should had been to check my message board to see if she had answered me. As I trailed the touchpad I noticed my hand was sort of trembling. I felt a bit disappointed when I realised she hadn’t. I didn’t know why I expected other way. I reread the words I wrote to her. Previously I was so nervous I didn’t even remember what I said.

ILoveTommoBear: Hey! Been reading your Fan Fictions for a while now and I love them. Just wanted to let you know. Greetings xo.

It was so silly I rolled my eyes at it. But I couldn’t ask her who she was straight away. It would be suspicious and rude… Why hadn’t she written me back then? She hadn’t updated either, so maybe she had not been online. I thought perhaps she wouldn’t ever answer me… I had to face the possibility. I had to face so many new possibilities… I shook my head ‘no’ as I closed my MacBook to get to bed. Oh, Tommo. Why did I allow you to take control?

The next morning we woke up very early to go to the stadium we were performing at night. Louis entered my room moving his hands anxiously.

“So, did she answer you yet?” He asked, throwing himself on the chair next to me.

“I don’t know,” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes, lazily sitting on the edge of the bed. He frowned. “When I checked out last night, she didn’t…” I saw he was already fully dressed up to leave. “What time is it anyway?”

“For you, late,” he stated.

“Why don’t you check it out for me while I take a shower?” I asked and his eyes sparkled.

“I thought you would never ask!” He exclaimed, turning the chair towards the desk and opening my laptop. It was better that way. I didn’t want another disappointment. I walked to the bathroom. When I got there I rested my hands on the washbasin and glanced up at my reflection in the mirror. I was sort of nervous about what could be happening behind the door, and maybe because of that I felt pathetic. I needed a shag, for sure. I took my boxers off and turned on the shower, to finally place my face beneath the showerhead and wash my foolish worries away.

“Nothing…” Louis muttered as I exited the bathroom, a towel on my waist and another between my hands, to dry my hair.

“I knew it somehow,” I mumbled to him.

“She’d have answered faster if she’d actually known who was writing to her…” He stated walking towards the door.

“But I won’t tell her–––I stuttered. Probably she’d never believe it anyway…” I said, working on my hair.

“It’s a possibility–––he mumbled. Well, we’ll be waiting for you at the lobby. Hurry up.” He gestured goodbye with his hand and finally left. I stayed there alone with my thoughts. Getting depressed was so utterly nonsensical I brushed my grumpy mood away and quickly got dressed. I joined the lads and we got to the van, finally avoiding the mob.

The day was busy and the night even more. This third tour is absolutely exhausting. Shows are much more complex and, as the venues are larger than the previous ones, stage seems to be endless and we have to move plenty more than ever. It’s getting hard for the five of us to get on track with it. Usually at this moment of the tour we’re doing it as if we were born for it, but this time it’s too demanding. We have all our energies on it but when the show ends, we are literally crushed. Sometimes we don’t even have the strength to wait to return to the hotel to fall asleep. That’s exactly what happened to me that day. I was so knackered I fell into bed without even realising it.

Next morning when I woke up I saw it was quite late for my standards. I went straight to the shower and when I finished my routine, I quickly exited my room, thirsty and hungry as if I hadn’t eaten in a week. The lounge was deserted. I moved towards the American kitchen and grabbed some cereal from the cupboard, milk and juice from the fridge and sat on a stool. Soon later Niall came out of his bedroom on his undergarments.

“Morning, mate!” He exclaimed loudly. I raised my eyebrows at him, as I was chewing. He took a glass from a shelf and served himself some juice. “Anybody else around?” He asked when he saw me swallowing. “Fruit?” He handed me a banana.

“I just got up from bed, mate. I haven’t seen anybody…” I mumbled.

“What a night, last night!” He cheered up raising his apple on the air. He is so energetic in the mornings. Well, all the time… “It’s me or it’s actually getting smoother?”

“Speak for yourself, mate. I’m on my knees…”

“You’re getting old for this, little Harry!” He remarked.

“Well, you too…”

“But it doesn’t show–––he chuckled. The first leg of the tour is almost over and you don’t manage to get it together. You seem four old ladies I swear. Sick!” He said enthusiastically. I shook my head at him, putting my bowl on the washbasin. I glanced at my iPhone shining over the counter.

“It’s Louis–––I said as I read. He went to the airport to pick up Stan…”

“Stan Lucas is in tha house!–––Niall acclaimed. Now the fun has officially begun! Hey, it rhymed!” He laughed. He almost seemed high on himself.

“I’ll be at my room,” I said patting his shoulder as I passed him through.

“Yeah, reading your little Fan Fic or sleeping…–––he joked. I don’t know what’s worse.” He winked at me, and blew me a kiss as I rolled my eyes at him. I’m becoming such a drama queen.

I managed to stay away from my laptop until Louis and Stan came back from the airport. I headed for the gym for a while because it was getting too hard not to succumb to the temptation of checking my message board, but I wasn’t really in the mood, so I just sat around and chatted with Cal, then we went to the pool. Finally Louis sent me a text telling me they were waiting for me at our room and I rushed there. As the other lads weren’t around I took my MacBook to the lounge, where we could be more comfortable.

“Well, Louis already gave me the scenario two days ago, Harry. I think the message you sent her was flawless. If she hasn’t answered yet, she will, soon–––he stated, making eyes on me. So, I’ve been doing homework…” He said opening his own laptop.

“Mate, you…” I mumbled, quite moved by his enthusiasm.

“Don’t, Harry–––he interrupted me. There’s no need… I love this kind of tasks. You know me,” he snickered, winking at me.

“I’m checking on this one, if it’s OK with you, mate…” Louis said grabbing my Mac. I slowly gestured at him with my hand, feeling extremely anxious but not willing to show them my emotions.

“Well, while he checks your message board I tell you what I’ve been doing. It has been such a long journey all the way from Britain…–––he gasped. So, I read some of DreamingOfYou’s writing,” he said, creating some sort of expectation. Louis was looking at him from over the screen. I patted his arm for him to get back to work. “And I love her!” Stan exclaimed, thrilled. I smiled at him, quite relieved. “She’s clever, vibrant, full of life…–––he listed. Now, let’s see if she’s a proper pen pal…” He said turning towards Louis.

“She is!” He shouted, lifting both arms and almost throwing my MacBook from his lap. I sighed, even more relieved than before. She had answered me. My mind was surged by a warm feeling. “OK. I’ll read it… Oh, my God, I’m just so excited as if it was my wedding day,” he joked and I forced myself not to roll my eyes at him.

“Come on, read!” I said, getting closer, as well as Stan. We sat at both of his sides, glancing at the screen.

“‘Dear ILoveTommoBear…’” Louis began to read in a neutral tone and Stan cackled, grabbing his belly. Yeah, that alias was ridiculous, but it was not the moment and we glared at him. He discreetly shut up. “‘Dear ILoveTommoBear–––Louis carried on. Thank you so much for your kind words. I love to hear from you and I’m so, so glad you enjoy my Fan Fictions. I see you are a Louis’ girl. Isn’t he the cutest…?’” He paused to clear his throat. Always Louis. Why is this little clown so appealing to the ladies? “I am. I am the cutest–––he stated, fixated on the screen. God, I adore her,” he said eagerly. I elbowed him. “All right, all right. Enough of me…” Stan was rolling over his stomach. “‘Isn’t he the cutest?–––he repeated, smirking. But I have to admit I’m more of a Harry’s girl. It’s quite obvious isn’t it? He has a je ne sais quoi that drives me insane’… Oh, mate…” He mumbled, changing suddenly his tone, his fingers tightly gripping the laptop. At his words, my heart skipped a beat. “So many things on my head right now I’m the one who’s going mental…” He muttered.

“Marry me, DreamingOfYou!” Stan shouted to the screen. I was still numb. But why? I already knew she was a fan. Something in her choice of words…

“Carry on, Louis. We’ll comment about it later,” I managed to say.

“‘Sometimes it’s hard to communicate with other Harry’s girls because of some sort of strange rivalry, so it’s perfect to have a Louis’ one around. Hoping to hear from you soon. Tschüss xo,’” Louis finished to read, exhaling loudly.

“Oh, well…” Stan stammered, grabbing his laptop back.

“First of all–––Louis slowly said pointing at my nose with his finger, admit the name I chose for you is the difference between good and evil…”

“I admit it,” I stated, smiling at him. From moments like that we’ve created Larry.

“Well, Stan… Your turn, mate,” Louis continued after a giggle, turning towards him.

“I’m not sure I can–––he mumbled, grinning. I’m feeling quite horny right now. It’s wrong, I know, but I’m renowned for my sincerity…” Louis tapped his shoulder and Stan let a little scream out. “Fine; I need to do more reading, but I have a few thesis about this girl.” Louis and I were staring at him intensely. “I’ve being doing my research…” I raised my eyebrow at him. “Well, I’ve being reading Wikipedia and there, in sum, they say Fan Fiction is almost a replacement of a particular reality that doesn’t please the writer nor the readers. So, frustration is sort of the engine of this particular kind of writing. I’ve found some interesting things on what I’ve read, which are actually coherent with her message… I’m sure, Harry, you noticed it too; and you too, Louis, because you are cute and clever,” he joked, emphasising on the ‘and.’

“I think she’s French and older…” Louis blurted. I raised my eyebrow quizzically. His hypothesis was highly improbable, because it’s American girls who write most of this stuff.

“Well, that ‘Tschüss’ word is German, actually…–––Stan asserted. OK, even though we three are hoping and praying for this girl to be French and older, maybe she is not. That’s how fantasy works here. One rule of writing is that you write about what you know; but because fantasy has a predominant role in Fan Fiction it might be only a projection of a dream or desire.” Louis looked at me inquisitively.

“It makes sense,” I muttered, staring at Stan.

“Yeah, I’m not lost either,” Louis joked.

“So, to sum it all, we need to read further–––Stan explained. Outline, well, not, because this isn’t paper, but take some sort of notes, so we could build up a corpus of facts about her or about her fantasies. Facts about her, not Harry’s penis size, et cetera.” They both chuckled, pointing at me.

“That won’t be a problem to ‘je ne sais quoi,’” Louis mocked me, caressing my chin with his finger playfully.

“Harry, sorry, pal; nothing against your willy–––Stan joked. You need to keep that chat with her going on, but don’t get too bold, OK? Remember, you are a girl, and a Louis’ one–––he stated, but his eyes widened. God, that sounded so wrong!”

“I will,” I quietly said, glaring at them.

“He will! Fool…–––Louis ironised. He’s dying to!”

–.–.–

Notes

Stan Lucas doesn't appear enough on Fan Fictions. Anyone has any theory about DreamingOfYou? I know I have.

'A Season In Paris' Fan Fiction they mention doesn't properly exist, but the concept is inspired by this marvellous piece of writing:

Big Hot Mess. Go and check it out!

This is going to be quite a ride, I'm telling you. So stay around!

Thank you for reading, guys.

Comments

miss you a lot friend,
message me sometime if you have the chance ❤️

You promised you would never make us wait for an update that long again... *cries*

Hello,

I hope your life is everything that you want it to be. It seems like the past couple of months have really changed my perspective of the world, and how much you need to appreciate the little things in life. You never know when life will snatch them away from you.

I have really appreciated all that you have done for me. I miss your constantly developing plot, and your infinitesimal points of detail. In other words, I miss this story so much.

I feel like so much has happened since the last time you updated. I hope you know that I am always eagerly awaiting your next chapter. Even if it's 5 years from now, and I am a fully licensed Speech Language Pathologist, I will try my best to keep up my support. Maybe next year while I am studying abroad in Italy you will find the motivation to continue. Who knows what's going to happen. Maybe I should take the quote from the t-shirt I am currently wearing. "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know you're gonna get."

Thanks,
Morgan

Morgan__Who Morgan__Who
2/13/18

Oh no, and then the moment came there's no next chapter anymore! What do I have to do with my spare time now?!
On a serious note: I loved loved looooooved your story so far. I loved the way the sequel wasn't the same as 'Dreaming of you'. Another timeset, other places, other people getting involved, and the tension being build up from the beginning till now. Their 'relationship' didn't went back to the way things were in France 4 years ago, it needed time to get together again and in a different way (happy about their love right now, but after 111 chapters I know things can change...). I really loved the way you wrote about Mark Owen as being Jeanne's 'Boyband crush'. I've been such a big fan of Take That and Mark was my first true love when I was 11 or so. His picture was hanging above my bed, wich I kissed goodnight every night. (I guess I've just spilled my age, haven't I? ;-) )
When I read the last comments, I think your last update was from 2 months ago. I really hope you can find the time, the energy and the inspiration to finish this story, because I'm hooked! Give me a warning when you'll write a book, I will be in front of the bookstore, waiting!

Love, Leah



leah leah
7/17/17

Dear You,

I've started reading this story two days ago. From the very first chapter I'm hooked and I can't stop reading. I don't want to go out, I don't want to sleep, I just want to read. Not to know how it will end actually, because I don't want it to end! So I try to find a balance between reading fast en making it last a little bit longer. I'm a fan of Harry from the day Sign of the times has released, so I have a lot of catching up to do. When you mention a song or a situation with One Direction, I look for it on Google or YouTube. So you're helping me to get to know the world of Harry and 1D, thank you for that! I've been to Paris a couple of times, It's such a beautiful city. I have good, romantic, memories of the times I've been there. You're writing about the city is so accurate and lively, it feels I'm there again by reading. My heart nearly broke for Harry and Jeanne when I read the last chapter of Dreaming of you. Happy to know there's a sequel, I going to start reading that now. I just wanted to write you this, because in the notes below the chapters you seem like a very nice, caring person. Thank you for writing such a beautiful story! (I hope my writing makes sence, English isn't my native language so I know I make a lot of mistakes. I'm sorry!)
Love, Leah

leah leah
7/15/17