Harry's POV

I haven't slept. I've spent the last ten hours replaying every second with my mother since I got that phone call. Ever since Savannah and I came to bed I've been wide awake wondering if what I think is true actually is, if my mother did what I think she did because if she did that then I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Accessory to murder. How did that happen?

The only thing keeping me sane is the woman laying on my chest. I've been twirling her hair around my fingers ever since she fell asleep exactly where she is now. My mind has been racing but she fell asleep in a second, and she's slept like the dead. Thinking about how much I love her, how much I love my family is the only way to understand what my mother may have done. I would do anything to protect them. I can't hold that against her.

Manoeuvring her is tricky, but when I do manage to get Savannah laying on the mattress instead she's still asleep. She sighs when I kiss her forehead and I take that to mean she's not going to be conscious for a while. So I go to Sophie's room first to check on her, and I'm satisfied when I see her cheek is still squashed against her pillow while she sleeps soundly. Miloh, on the other hand, is wide awake.

"Looks like it's just the boys," I say quietly, lifting him out of the crib. "Want some breakfast, little man?"

Savannah hates the breastpump, but she uses it once in a while for situations like this. It's handy for her because she gets to sleep. It always takes him a few minutes to agree to the whole bottle thing, but he does it eventually. I might actually be able to convince people that I'm good at this father thing because I can hold Miles and feed him with one arm while I use the other to make a pot of coffee. Because let's be honest, if there isn't a full pot when Savannah wakes up and there isn't coffee there'll be hell to pay.

"Morning."

Mum comes down the stairs and goes straight for the coffee I just made. She seems relaxed, as per usual.

"Yeah, we need to talk about what happened last night."

She sighs. "What about it, Harry."

"You're not upset," I clarify.

"Why would you think I'm not upset?"

"Because you're not upset."

"He was a threat to our entire family. He was a threat to your kids, Harry. Now he's gone, so stop questioning it."

"He was your husband," I remind her. "How can you not be more upset that he's dead?"

"Because he was a miserable person! The man he's been for the last twenty years was not the same man that I married. He made our lives miserable. He hurt you. He almost destroyed our family," she half-yells. "What did you expect? That I'd break down in tears at the sight of him?"

"You saw his bloody dead body, Mum! You didn't even bat an eye!" She sighs and looks away from me. "You weren't surprised."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Did you know?" I blurt. "If you had something to do with this I'm not going to be mad. We can figure it out, but you have to-"

"Are you seriously asking me this?" Mum shakes her head and walks towards the stairs. I had a feeling she wouldn't like that. "He was dangerous. Now he's gone. Let's just leave it at that, okay?"

Not really that okay, but whatever. I don't know when my family got so fucking complicated but I guess that's my life. At least babies aren't complicated. They don't let you sleep, but who needs sleep anyway?

"What just happened?"

Savannah comes down the stairs and leans her chin on my shoulder while I burp Miloh. Her fingers brush over his wispy dark hair.

"Not sure what you're referring to."

"Don't play dumb," she whispers against my ear. I laugh as she walks over to the coffee I made. "You were fighting with your mother."

"Do you know everything?"

"Yes."

"We weren't fighting. Just discussing," I tell her. She laughs and slides onto the barstool next to mine.

"Discussing loudly."

"Your point?"

"Harry, I just heard you practically accuse your mother of killing your father," she says quietly. "I know you're paranoid, but you have no reason other than her reaction. Or lack there of."

"I just slipped out," I whisper, taking a sip of her coffee. She smiles and leans her forehead on her palm. "I know. I'll figure it out, okay?"

"Miles just threw up on your hand."

---

"Can't I wear the Santa hat?"

"No, Daddy. You wear this crown and I wear dis one," Sophie says happily. I take the tiara with the pink fluffy feathers and set it on my head. But apparently I'm not good at that because she has to stand up to fix it so it's right. "Pwetty."

"Can I have a cookie?"

"Not yet!" she says firmly. My eyes go wide and then I laugh quietly to myself. She knows what she wants, this one.

"Are you two having fun at your tea party?" Savannah asks. When I look up at her I roll my eyes because she's holding a damn video camera. "Harry, you look so pretty."

"You're lucky there's a child present."

"Big talk coming from the guy with the princess crown."

"Daddy, you want tea?" Sophie asks. Savannah smiles at me and I forcefully divert my attention back to my daughter so we can have our little tea party. To be honest, I don't mind this. Not at all, actually, because when Sophie is a teenager and is ignoring her embarrassing Dad with all her energy then I can remember this. And apparently watch it.

After almost an hour of sitting between her bear and her dragon she gets bored of it. Savannah sits on the couch behind me, her legs on either side of my shoulders.

"When did she turn three?" I ask quietly. She rubs my shoulders.

"No idea. I'm scared I'll blink and she'll be sixteen."

"Hell, I don't want to think about that."

Savannah leans down next to my face and I know she's not done teasing me. "Imagine when she has a boyfriend?"

"No."

"You know he'll have tattoos, right?"

"Why?"

"Girls date boys like their father," she says. "Except me. I didn't."

"Can we not talk about this? We're not going from imaginary tea and teddy bears to boyfriends and tattoos," I tell her. "Not happening."

"Imagine if she falls in love with her teacher?"

"Baby, why are you doing this to me?"

"We wouldn't be able to say anything," she laughs. "We'd totally be hypocrites."

"She's not dating her teacher. In fact, she's not allowed to date at all."

"That'll go over well."

"She can date when she's thirty," I compromise. "That's fair."

"I need to go to the store for some stuff. Your family is coming here for dinner tonight and I have nothing in the house. Your mother is going to think I can't take care of you people."

"Hang on, who's coming here?"

"Remember those people you grew up with? It's them."

I rolled my eyes and turned around to kneel between her legs. "I mean why are they coming?"

"I thought you'd want to see them," Savannah says, running her fingers up and down my forearm. "You guys should go through this together."

"I'd rather just have a quiet night here."

"Harry, you should be with your family."

"I am," I said firmly. "Can we cancel?"

"You sure?" Savannah sits forward and wraps her arms around me so they're resting on my shoulders. When I nod she sighs and kisses the tip of my nose. "Okay, I can call them. But I still need to go get some stuff for dinner."

"Let's go with all of us."

So we did. We loaded our little family into the car and headed for the store, which is exactly what I needed. Something normal, something mundane that could take my mind off of everything. Sophie sat happily in the cart and I had Miloh strapped to my front in one of those fancy baby carrier things. Babies should be a form of therapy. They're always smiling, they're happy regardless of what's happening.

"Do you like this kind of yogurt? I know you don't like the pieces of fruit, but they're really small in this one."

"Sure."

"Harry." She leaned in front of me. "Are you listening to me?"

"Sure. Fruit."

"No. Yogurt." She put some containers in the cart. "Where's your head?"

"We can get married now," I blurt out. She seems surprised that that's what I was thinking, but it was. "We have no reason not to."

"You're right." Savannah kept pushing the cart and randomly stopping to read labels or put stuff into it.

"Great, so when do we start?"

"Harry, let's take a few minutes to breathe first, okay?"

"Why do you always find a reason to postpone?" I tease. "Getting cold feet there, babe?"

"That's not it and you know it. Let's just take a week, relax, figure out what we want. Then we'll plan it out, okay?"

"Promise?"

She smiles up at me and nods her head. "I promise.

Notes

okay that took forever. and i dont like iti that much. i think this story is close to over...im running out of ideas for these guys.

i hope you still like it :(