Sophie's eyes begin to drift closed again and I don't bother trying to keep her awake anymore. This isn't what I imagined when I pictured Harry and I back together. Quite the opposite, actually. I didn't expect to spend almost every night this week waiting for him to come home so he can see her and spend some time with all of us together. Apparently he has more important things to do with his time. Like get into fights.

Honestly, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I want to trust Harry, give him the benefit of the doubt and see the good in him because I know that it's there, but he's not making it easy for me to do that. There are too many secrets and too many questions gone unanswered for me to be okay with any of this.

The front door opens quietly, Harry's large figure stepping inside without looking up at us. He hangs his car keys on the hook I have beside the door and rubs his hands over his face, the marks from his fight the other night finally fading. His eye is still a little marked up, but it's not as bad as it used to be. Mason and my mother have both left now, and I'm waiting for him or Kylie to call and tell us they're engaged. Knowing my brother it'll probably take him at least a week or two to build the courage.

Harry silently lifts Sophie from her place next to me on the couch, sitting down as she leans her head on his shoulder. His hand gently rubs her back and he kisses the side of her head a few times while I stare at the side of his face.

"Don't ask," he says lowly without looking at me.

"Harry," I plead. I'm angry, so angry, but it's to the point where it's turning into sadness because I can feel that I'm about to lose everything I ever wanted. Because of the person I've only ever wanted. I wipe a tear from under my eye and stare at the television screen. Harry's arm wraps around my shoulders and he kisses my forehead.

"I can't make it tomorrow night," he says quietly. Anger builds inside me, taking all of my strength to keep it at bay while my daughter is here and somewhat aware.

"Of course you can't."

He sighs as I shift away from him again. "Please, I don't want to fight with you right now."

"Then don't talk to me." I push myself up from the couch. "Because fighting with you is all I really feel like doing right now."

The kitchen becomes my place of solitude, the dishes left over from dinner the only place for me to release some of my frustration with the man that I love more than anything. I know he says he's trying, that he's 'getting out' and he just needs to figure some things out first, but I wish he would just tell me what that means. I can help him somehow, I know I can but he won't let me and it's so infuriating to feel so helpless, waiting around for something to happen.

I hear his phone ring in the living room and gravitate silently to the door, pushing it open just a crack so I can hear his voice. Desperation at its finest.

"Yeah, I guess I can do tomorrow," Harry says. He pauses, assumably for the other person to speak. "Fine. Text me the details."

I let the door shut again. His phone seems to be the key to all of this, and if I could only get my hands on it. If Harry isn't going to tell me what's going on then I guess I'm just going to have to figure it out for myself.

---

"Are you sure you can't make it tonight?" I ask as I collect Sophie's things for daycare. He carries her in from her bedroom, freshly dressed and ready to go.

"No, baby, I'm sorry. I have to work again."

That would be great if I didn't know he was lying. At least he's not cheating. "Harry, you realize the only time you've spent with Sophie is the half hour before she goes to daycare. She's asleep when you come home and you don't even take your weekends with her."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Your apologies are starting to feel a little empty."

"Juice?" Sophie asks. I smile and get her cup from her bag. When she starts sucking on it my attention turns to Harry. Do you know what's annoying? Being so fucking attracted to someone you're trying to be angry with.

"I'm going to try to be here more," he says, teaching forward and tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Do you have your keys?" I ask, avoiding the statement. "They were on the dresser when I was in there."

"Right, yeah." He turns with Sophie still set on his hip and as soon as he disappears in the hallway I snatch his phone, resting on the coffee table. He never locks it for some reason, so it's not hard to get into it. The most recent text on his phone is exactly what I'm looking for.

"Where are they?" Harry calls from the bedroom.

"They're either on the dresser or your side table!" I call back, putting it back on the table. He comes back scratching the back of his head. "Didn't find them?"

"No." He looks around and I unhook them from the hooks beside the door, holding them up. He smiles. "Thanks."

"You sure you can take her?" I ask. "She won't let you leave too easy, she looks exhausted."

"I want to spend time with her," he says, Sophie's head leaning against his shoulder. "I was thinking maybe I could stop by for lunch, though. I have a few hours of free time, so I could bring some takeout."

"Really?" I ask, smiling small. He laughs a little and steps closer to me, tracing the back of his fingers along my cheek.

"Yeah," he says. "I miss you."

My eyes shut briefly and I want to tell him to screw off and that I don't want to be fit into his schedule when he has time for me, but I want to spend time with him. Maybe that makes me pathetic, but I can't help it. There's no way to understand how in love I actually am with Harry and I miss him more than I'm angry with him.

"Okay," I agree. His fingers rest under my chin to tilt my chin up, and when his lips touch mine I can't help but sigh. "That sounds nice."

"Good." He kisses me once more and heads for Sophie's bag. "Then I'll see you in a few hours."

---

I'm excited. Anxiously excited for Harry to get here, so much so that I keep checking the clock like an obsessive freak, and that only makes it go slower. Almost to the point where it's going backwards. When is he supposed to come anyway? He said lunch and...

"Only eleven," I mumble, tapping my pen on my desk. There's a knock on my door and when I look up Zayn waves to me. "Come in!"

"Hey." He steps inside and walks over with his giant folder with drawings in it. "Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah, what's up?" I stand and walk around the desk to where he is, opening up the portfolio.

"I need your help with something. I'm working on the new line but something isn't working and I can't figure it out."

I can tell he's been running his fingers through his dark hair because it's much messier than it normally is and he looks really frustrated. Zayn is really good at his job and he never needs this kind of help, so he must be really stuck.

"Let's see." I flip through the drawings, which are all really good. There's just some disconnect between them. "I see what you mean. It's like they don't go together."

"I don't know what do to," he says, staring at them. I can't help but laugh a little and his overwhelmed smile when he looks up at me.

"They're all really great," I assure him. "There's just something missing."

Zayn's frustration seems to die down a little as we work on the drawings. It always surprises me how talented he is, and I could not be more happy with the decision to hire him. We get along so well too, and other brand CEO's that I've talked to have said good chemistry with the designer makes a really big difference. And it really does. I love working with Zayn and I love the clothes in the store, and the new spring line is going to be absolutely amazing.

After about an hour we've got somewhere and I can see that Zayn is looking much less frustrated with himself. He's actually smiling and my attempts to make him laugh a little are actually working. It's a little sad that almost all of my friends are from work, but the ones that I have are great. It's not like I can do anything besides work and take care of Sophie anyway.

"You did not," I laugh, sitting on the edge of my desk. He nods and laughs as well.

"I know, it's so horrible. But what was I supposed to do!"

"I don't know...not kiss her?" I suggest sarcastically. He rolls his eyes.

"I'm not lying, her breath was like seafood. It was awful." His face twists and I laugh more. "Being single is rough, I have to say."

"Come on, it can't be that hard for you to find someone."

"You'd be surprised. It doesn't help I just got out of a relationship that lasted like...seven years?"

"Wow." I sit down in one of the chairs by the window and he sits on the other. "What happened?"

He shrugs. "It just wasn't working. We were actually engaged for two years and then decided it wasn't going to happen."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

He smiles and shrugs again. "It's for the best. It was hard, but not as hard as I thought it would be. Going back to dating, though, that is a little harder than I thought it would be. Meeting someone in a bar doesn't exactly appeal to me, either."

"I know what you mean," I agree. One time a friend that lives in my building made me go out to a club with her, and the options were almost frightening. "Do you miss her?"

"I don't miss her as much as I miss being with someone. It's just better, you know? Having someone to hang out with and talk to all the time. It's hard to go from that to being alone."

I know the feeling.

I hear another tap on the door and Harry steps in, his eyes slightly narrowing when he looks at Zayn. Apparently he hasn't gotten over his initial dislike for him, despite all of my attempts at trying to make them get along. Zayn doesn't honestly seem too fond of Harry either, to be fair.

"Hey," I say, standing up and trying to break the tension. Harry slowly walks over and puts his arm around my shoulders, leaning down to kiss me for a little too long. When I pull back it's all I can do not to roll my eyes.

"Nice to see you, Harry," Zayn says, standing from his chair.

"You too," Harry says. I want to yell at both of them, but that would be pointless.

"I'll leave you two alone, then. Thanks for the help, Savannah. I'll let you know what I think about those colour palettes."

"Sounds good." I wait until he's gone to look at Harry again and when I do he looks less than pleased. "What?"

"Why are you alone with him?"

I laugh. "What? Harry, we work together. Do you not trust me?"

"I don't trust him," he says, pointing in the direction of the door. I reach out to push his arm back to his sides.

"The walls are all glass," I remind him, actually kind of happy about his jealousy for once. "People can see you pouting."

"I'm not pouting."

"Right." He rolls his eyes but a hint of a smile breaks through. "So, what'd you bring me?"

"Something healthy for once," he says, sitting on the couch that faces the window and setting the bag on the table in front. I sit next to him and he removes the contents of the paper bag. "Sandwiches and lemonade and I also got a salad. I wasn't sure what you'd want."

"This is great." I unwrap one of the sandwiches and he sits back against the couch, one arm across the back behind me. "Aren't you going to eat?"

"I will." I sit back with half my lunch and look up at him. "How's your day been?"

"Boring. Well, until Zayn came. I got to look at the new line again and I'm so excited for it. It's going to look amazing."

"Fucking Zayn," he mutters, shaking his head. "What are the chances that you end up hiring a male clothing designer instead of a female one? I mean really, did you do it to annoy me?"

"Yeah." I roll my eyes. "When we were looking for someone that was the first questions I asked myself."

"You were right about Sophie, by the way." He leans forward for his own sandwich and continues. "She hung onto my leg for dear life when I tried to leave the daycare thing."

Because she stays up so late waiting for you to come home. "She wouldn't have been as difficult with me. She's more attached to you."

"That's not true."

I laugh. "Yes it is. It's fine, I'm okay with it. It's actually nice sometimes. You have more patience to deal with those kind of tantrums, anyway."

He nods. "That is true."

I ask Harry about his classes this morning and he tells me stories about the old ladies he tried to teach. He gets some interesting people coming to him to learn to defend themselves, and the stories he tells me are always entertaining. Sometimes I wish I worked with people more for my job, but when I need a fix I just head down to the store to work with the girls.

When I start telling Harry about the new line his arm goes behind me again, his body much closer to mine and his other hand resting on my bare leg. I have to try really hard to maintain my composure, but by the mischievous look in his eyes he knows what he's doing to me and he's definitely okay with it. He hand starts sliding up under my skirt and I have to push it away again as my face heats.

"People can see us," I remind him.

"They can't see past the couch," he says simply. His hand travels up again and I can't find the urge to resist him this time. "It would be nice if the walls weren't all windows."

"Why?" I ask breathlessly, my heart hammering. His eyes flicker to my desk and he leans in closer again, his face only a few inches from mine.

"I'd really like to take you on that desk," he says lowly. My eyes go wide and he smiles. "Maybe you should take me on a little tour. Find somewhere more private."

"We can't," I whisper, Harry's hand travelling further under my skirt. His finger brushes the front of my underwear and I bite my lip.

"We could."

I quickly reach for his hand, pulling it away from my body. He interlaces our fingers and pulls me into a standing position, my legs already feeling shaky. When we exit the office I tell Madison to take messages for all my calls and she seems completely oblivious to what just happened in my office. Hopefully everyone else is too.

"A copy room could be fun," Harry says slowly. I stare up at his face with wild images running through my mind. "Your ass would look cute photocopied."

"Harry," I laugh, swatting at his chest. "Be quiet."

He chuckles and pushes his fingers through the curls I love so much, and in that moment I decide to go along with this. Who am I trying to kid? As if I could resist him if I tried.

When I start pulling him through the halls he grins at me, squeezing my hand as we weave through people. No one seems to take a second glance and after a few turns we're in one of the more deserted hallways. Near the end of it I spot a supply closet, checking at least ten times for onlookers before I pull Harry inside it and shut the door.

"Fuck, it's dark in here," he says. I quickly wrap my arms around his neck, pushing him against the door and arching my back so we're pressed together. Harry pushes his tongue into my mouth and within seconds we're both panting and my heart is hammering and I know that I need him.

Harry turns us around and hikes my skirt up my legs and over my hips while I reach for his belt. My fingers struggle with the button of his jeans but as soon as it's undone my underwear is pulled down my legs, Harry's shirt joining them on the floor. We move together so well now, it's insane. We know what the other wants, know what the person will do before they do it and it makes everything so much better.

"I love you," he mumbles against my lips. His hands wrap around my legs, lifting me effortlessly and pressing me harder against the door. My fingers knot into his curls and I take a single moment to catch my breath a little.

"I love you," I repeat in a whisper. He suddenly slides into my and I moan, his hand moving to cover my mouth.

"Shh."

One arm stays wrapping tightly around his neck, holding my up and close to him. My other hand goes to his back as our lips mould together again, short hot breaths combining as he moves slowly back and forth. My other hand rakes down his back and he groans, his pace quickening. My vision goes blurry and all I can comprehend is the feeling of him, of him inside me and of his body pressed so tightly against mine. Even though he's as close as he could be it still isn't enough. His movements become less graceful and I know he's close, and while I ride out my high he comes to his. I really hope there was no one in the hallway.

"Fuck," he breathes, leaning his forehead against my shoulder. My fingers comb through his hair lazily.

"I don't really want to go back to work now," I whisper. "Maybe we could just stay in here all afternoon."

"Trust me, that sounds amazing. People might figure it out, though."

I sigh and he lifts his head, pressing a sweet kiss to my lips. Moments like these are so perfect, where it feels like it's just me and him and all our problems seem to melt away. Moments like these are why I don't want to give him up quite yet, why I don't have the strength to do it.

---

"Are you sure you don't mind?" I ask for the millionth time. I called Madison to ask her to watch Sophie because I know she won't tell anyone what I'm doing tonight.

"Yes, Savannah. Do whatever you need to do, I'll be fine. She's asleep, anyway."

"I won't be long, I promise."

"Seriously, I'm fine." She laughs and points to the door. "Go."

"Okay. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

After she's literally pushed me out the door I head downstairs and get a cab to the address I got from Harry's phone. I've never been there before and I have no idea what it could be, but I have a really bad feeling. Things were good between us for once today and I'm praying that whatever I find tonight doesn't ruin that. I don't want anything else to stand in the way of our lives together, especially not him. If Harry ruins this for all of us I don't know if I could forgive him for that.

When the driver pulls up to the building everything stops for a moment. My stomach drops and instantly I know that whatever I find here is not going to be good.

Notes

omg i almost lost all of this. good thing i saved it for once :s

sorry it took so long. im spending extra time on this because i dont want to ruin the story so...i hope you guys still like it!!!

let me know what you think pleeeasee :)