Simmer Down and Pucker Up
Ten
We were all pretty sick of each other at this point, but mostly all of our anger was directed towards Harry and Zayn who had been acting like dicks ever since the shit hit the fan three nights ago. Niall and Liam had flown back to LA hours after the premier and it took everything in me to get Louis to go with them and relax. All three boys knew that if anyone could handle Zayn and Harry at their worst is was definitely me and I was willing to take one for the team so they could go take care of business because Harry and Zayn clearly no longer gave a shit. Also, I needed some fucking space. The next few days were filled with so much tension that I did nothing but smoke weed and stay in my bedroom in fear of confrontation. Harry—who claimed to not be mad at me—was mad at me and he only spoke to me when he had to. Zayn on the other hand wouldn’t leave me alone, and each time he would try to get me alone to explain to me what happened between him and Perrie, I would run off and Cling to Harry. Spewing at him all the nonsense that came to my mind which he would pretend to give a shit about because he didn’t know that I knew that he hated my guts right now.
This is why I spent all of my time locked away in my room and only went out when I absolutely had to, which was usually in the dead of the night. Harry and Zayn had hashed out their problems and formed what I liked to call a ‘dick’-tatorship. While Louis, Niall and Liam were off in LA dealing with the media bullshit about the tour cancelation and all the rumors that were swirling around, Zayn and Harry conspired. They sat around and figured out new ways to act like complete assholes. That is what they had to be doing because nothing else would explain their behavior.
I lied.
Harry and Zayn had been drinking like pirates and moping around the house. Every word that left their mouthes was either an insult or an empty apology and I was really getting sick of hearing the words, ‘I’m sorry.’ The sound of female voices had me sitting up from my sloth-like position in my bed. I tapped the space bar on my laptop, pausing the episode of Pretty Little Liars which I had been binge watching in my attempt to catch up, and brushed the crumbs off my chest as I pushed myself off the bed. Looking up, I shot a glance at myself in the mirror—I was wearing a black tank top with no bra and a pair of striped shorts. I didn’t really care how homeless I looked and marched out of my bedroom towards the source of the noise.
I walked into the kitchen and came face to face with Zayn, Harry and two blonde girls that I had never seen before, “Uh. Hi,” I said awkwardly as they all turned to face me.
Harry went back to pouring shots as Zayn Spoke, “Look who finally came out of hibernation.”
I rolled my eyes, “Who are these chicks?”
Harry laughed as he wrapped both arms around one of the girls from behind, “This over here is Sarah.” He said as he buried his face into her neck which made her obnoxiously giggle, he pulled back with a smirk, “And that is Lucy.”
“Want a drink Spence?” Zayn asked as reached a shot out to me.
I desperately wanted that drink, but there was no way I was going to take it from Zayn. I walked closer to them and leaned across the counter, snatching the bottle out of Harry’s hand and taking a long drink, “Harry,” I said as I pulled the bottle away. “Can I talk to you?”
“Isn’t it obvious that I’m busy right now?”
I rolled my eyes at his tone and set the bottle back down, “Just try not to be loud, please.”
I turned to walk out of the kitchen and back towards my bedroom as Zayn came to a stop in front of me, “I’ll talk to you.”
“I don’t want to talk to you, Zayn,” I said as I looked up at the hurt expression on his face.
“Please, Spencer, just for five minutes,” He pleaded as Harry turned some music on and turned it up as loud as he could.
“Fine,” I rolled my eyes and headed down the hall towards my room.
I walked in and went straight for my bed, taking up my previous post as I hit the space bar on the laptop and resumed the show I was watching. I didn’t bother to look over at Zayn, but the moment the words left his mouth my head was snapping up in his direction, “Harry knows.”
“What?”
“Harry—he knows—about us.”
I didn’t believe the words that I was hearing—there was no way Harry could know. I stared back at Zayn with a blank expression on my face not really knowing what to say, “I-I—Harry can’t know!”
“I needed someone to talk to—after Perrie found that video and all those pictures of us—I had no one,” He paused, “he’s not going to tell anyone. I told him that you didn’t get with Louis until after we had broken up and that is the truth so there is no reason to stress out about your relationship.”
I could see it was causing him pain to speak those words, but I was still livid, “Why the fuck didn’t you come to me before you—”
“Don’t give me that shit, Spencer, I’ve been trying to talk to you for days,” He ran a hand through his hair as he approached my bed and sat down. He reached out and put his hand on my knee, “Perrie asked me if you meant anything to me and I told her the truth. She was willing to overlook everything as long as I promised her I would never see you again and I told her to go fuck herself because I love you, Spencer.”
I stared back at Zayn and was ready to cry. I had no idea what to feel, I was furious with him for telling Harry because now Harry hated me but I was still in love with him and I wanted nothing more than to reach out and slap his stupid face before smashing my lips onto his, “Harry, can’t know.”
He laughed, “Well, Spence, he does and he was a little pissed at first, but I set him straight.” His expression hardened, “I mean he did kiss you while you were still technically my girlfriend; it was only a little kiss—he didn’t even know we were together at the time—I can’t hate him for that.”
“Well, since we are being so honest,” My sadness was melting away into my default which was anger, “Harry and I did more than just a little kiss; andddd I wasn’t really your girlfriend at the time.”
I kept talking as I watched his face drop, “Don’t worry, we didn’t have sex, but Harry was there for me to hold me, and kiss me when you were acting like a complete jackass.” I smirked as I added, “There wasn’t any sex but that doesn’t mean he didn’t get to kiss and caress my naked body.”
“You’re such a fucking sneaky whore! Where do they even make girls like you?”
I reached forward and whipped my hand hard against his face. A loud slap echoed through the room as he brought his hand up to the spot my palm had just left, “I’m sorry,” He sighed, “you are right. Harry aside, I treated you like shit throughout the whole relationship, but you stayed because the love we had was real. It still is real—I can treat you like the queen you are—please, Spencer.”
“Zayn, I don’t trust you any more and I don’t know if I ever can.” I looked down in an attempt to avoid the tears that were threatening to unleash.
“Baby,” He continued as he inched closer to me and moved his finger under my chin to force my head up. His eyes landed on mine, “Do you really love Louis? I know you love me, Spence, but do you love Louis? Will you ever be able to truly let me go to give him your full self?”
“Stop fucking with my head,” I snapped as I pushed his hand away from me.
He smirked, “Just tell me that you love him and I will leave you alone forever.”
I didn’t love Louis. He was my night in shining armor throughout all of this and never in my life had a man ever treated me that kindly, but I didn’t love him. Maybe it was because I was mentally unstable and only wanted what was bad for me, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t learn to love Louis. It would just take time and if I willed myself to stay faithful to him then I am sure we could be happy—Louis is the guy you are supposed to marry; Zayn is not. I frowned, “It doesn’t matter if I love him or not; you put me through hell and I had to silently suffer.”
He reached forward and grabbed my hands, “And I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, Spencer. Do you really see yourself marrying Louis? Do you see yourself ruining your glorious vagina to push out his babies—will he be worth it to you?”
I didn’t say a word as Zayn continued, “We used to talk about that stuff together—about the kind of wedding we were going to have—I know that things got fucked up and that is all my fault, but let me fix it.”
“At this point I don’t think I even want kids,” I muttered as I avoided eye contact with him. “I’ll just get a bunch of dogs and live like a hermit. Marriage is definitely out of question also because you have forever ruined the idea of a faithful man to me.”
“You are the only one for me, girl, can’t you see that,” His voice cracked.
I looked up at him as a tear slid down my cheek, “The only reason that you broke it off with her was because she found a video on your phone. If you had deleted it—like you were supposed to—you would have never told her and that kills me inside,” I said as the full stream of tears began pouring out. “I deserve somebody who sees my value and Louis is so sweet to me that yeah, maybe one day, when I am over you, I will love him.”
His eyebrows creased together as he frowned, “Bullshit,” He muttered as he grabbed my face in his hands and crashed his lips on to mine.
I wanted to push him off but the moment our lips fused together I was a goner. He pushed me down, swirling our tongues together as he maneuvered himself on top of me. He pushed himself between my legs and wrapped both arms around my waist as he lifted me and moved me up the bed. He pushed his hips into me and kissed me harder. Running his hand through my hair, he pulled my head back and traced his lips to my neck as he bit down. I gripped onto his shoulder and dug my nails into his skin, letting out a loud moan as he bit even harder. He leaned back and stared at me with a smirk, “Have fun explaining that giant bruise to your boyfriend.”
I hit his arm which made him chuckle as he leaned back down and pressed his lips to mine. I moved my hand to wrap around his neck and let out a squeal against his lips as he moved his hands over mine and pinned them above my head, “God, I missed you so much, baby,” He muttered before moving back into the kiss. He bit down on my lip as he pulled back, “Do you want me to leave?”
I kissed him softly before shaking my head, “Stay with me.”
His face lit up, “Yeah?” He moved off of me and turned onto his side, pulling me into his arms as he buried his face into my hair, “What are we watching?” He asked as he left a kiss on my shoulder.
I smiled to myself as I moved the laptop closer to us and turned the volume up, “Pretty Little Liars.” I moved my hand on top of his, “But thanks to you I have no idea what is happening.”
He laughed, “Play the next episode so I can get the recap,” He tightened his grip around me. His hand moved over mine, lacing our fingers together as he intertwined our legs, “Do you know how jealous I am that he gets to hold you every night?”
“Let’s not talk about that,” I muttered as I felt my eyes close. The love that was radiating off Zayn was filling me up and I never wanted this moment to end. “Harry won’t come in here, right?” I asked as I let a small kiss on the web of his hand.
“No, he is probably fucking both of those girls—he’ll leave us alone.”
“Good,” I smiled. I took in a deep breath and pressed myself against Zayn, “I’ve missed you, boy.”
I could hear the smile in his voice, “Yeah, you don’t hate me?”
“I could never ever hate you,” I said sleepily, “But this doesn’t mean we are—”
“Shhhh, love, just live in the moment,” He whispered against my ear, moving up to place a kiss on my temple, “Don’t worry.”
Zayn laughed as he leaned forward, squashing me slightly in order to shut the laptop, “This shit is too confusing. I just want to hold you for a minute.”
His hand left mine and moved to my butt, rubbing over it as he gripped tightly before pulling his hand back and slapping it against me. I let out a soft moan as he moved his lips to the spot behind my ear. He hovered above, barely touching his lips down as he let out a breath, “I miss touching every inch—” His hand traveled up my waist and to my breast which he didn’t hesitate to grope. His hips moved against me as he pulled me into him, “—Of your perfect fucking body,” He finished with a growl.
His lips kissed me all over, leaving me slightly dazed as I tingled beneath him, “Zayn,” I let out breathlessly, “let’s just go to sleep.”
He chuckled as he stopped moving and loosened his grip on me, “Sorry—sleep is good,” He said while catching his breath. “I love you, Spence, you are the reason I want to be a better man.”
I didn’t know what to say so I just stayed quiet, “I am going to win you back—just wait and see.”
Looooove Zayn!!! I feel kinda sorry for harry!
7/28/14