Another Year
Live in the moment.
“Styles!”
A course of male voices boomed, one of those voices being my brother. I tried my best to wipe the monotone look off my face and forced a smile, “Hey,” I greeted the room as I passed Harry my cigarette which he gladly accepted.
“And you found my baby sister!” Zayn walked over, throwing his arm around me, I could smell the alcohol on his breath, but didn’t say anything; it was nice to have him in a good mood.
“I’m Louis,” one of the boys who I did not recognize awkwardly spoke up, “and this is Niall.”
I smiled, “I’m Ella.”
“Let’s get you guys some drinks,” Zayn left my side and ran into the kitchen, I walked towards the couch where Niall and Harry were sitting down.
“How on earth did you get here so soon, mate?” Harry asked Niall who was currently in the process of rolling a joint in his lap.
He cracked a grin, “I made it through one class today and then Zayn and Louis called and wanted to play some drinking games.” He laughed, “I’ve been here for a while now and I am blitzed.”
I excused myself and stood up, slithering my way into the kitchen where my brother was currently making drinks like a madman, he stood in front of the blender with a giant grin on his face, “Margarita time.”
I laughed, “Mom and dad are stupid if they think me living with you is going to be a stable environment for me.”
Zayn rolled his eyes as I walked closer to him, “We can have fun here, sis.” He locked our gaze and for a moment his tone got serious, “Just don’t get too out of control.”
“Don’t go there, I fucking know, okay.” It was my turn to roll my eyes.
“You just can take things to the extreme at times,” He looked up, locking our gaze, “and I know you don’t want to end up back in another treatment center, or do you prefer a hospital getting your stomach pumped because you took too much coke and GHB.” He paused, letting the truth sink in.
“I know all of that, Zayn,” I was ready to crumble, “you don’t have to be a complete dick about things though.”
“What kind of person date rapes themselves? I don’t even want to know half of the shit you did, but all that I do know is that as long as I am around it won’t happen again.” The look on his face looked exactly like my father.
He smirked as he handed me a margarita filled to the brim, “Look, just keep your shit in check. I don’t want you turning into Lindsay Lohan on my ass. Just stay away from that yayo and all that other shit because I’m telling you this right now, it will be the death of you.”
I took a large gulp of my drink, hating every moment of this awkward ass conversation. He was hammered telling me not to do drugs, the same drugs that he himself probably uses—the fucking asshole.
“Don’t do this right now, Zayn. I can’t deal.”
I leaned against the counter and started taking deeper breaths. Zayn was oblivious to the fact that his words just cut through me and started loading up a tray with drinks and then strolled on out towards the living room like nothing had even been said. Once he was gone my breathing sped up, I couldn’t control the tears that automatically started to pour out as I lost control of my breath and began hyperventilating.
I stared at my reflection in the steel refrigerator door, trying to regulate my breathing—this was not going to happen to me right now. My hands were shaking and I felt like I was losing my mind. The room was a blur due to my teary eyed state, I leaned my back against the cold refrigerator, the cold felt good against my skin and I focused on taking deep breaths.
After calming myself down from a panic attack that my dickhead brother triggered, all I wanted, was to be alone and now it was time to get drunk. I took this as my chance to top my drink off with a little bit more tequila. I brought the bottle up to my lips and took a large swig before setting it back down on the counter.
I took a sip of my excessively strong drink and walked out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. I had finished half of my drink by the time I got to my room. I walked in and closed the door behind me, the only thing on my mind right now was getting out of this bra. I got my clothes off in record time and paced my room in nothing but my underwear, staring at my reflection in the full body mirror and taking occasional drinks; this was the good life, now all I needed were some drugs.
“Oh, wow.”
My eyes widened as I turned around, coming face to face with the person that I hate the most: Liam. My hands automatically shot up, covering my breasts and I couldn’t find the words to say. Liam just stood there and stared, taking in every inch of my mostly naked body and all I could do was stare back.
“Get the fuck out!” I finally found my rage and screamed at him as I charged forward and slammed the door shut.
“I was going to come get you to drink with us, so get dressed and come downstairs.”
His voice was muffled through the door and I wanted to punch him, “Fuck off!”
“El, hey, let me ask you something.” He was still lurking by the door and I had managed to slip into a black tank top and some yoga shorts. I made sure to look annoyed when I opened the door, but I couldn’t help but crack a smile at Liam’s goofball expression.
“Let me come in.” He had a mischievous look in his eyes and it was one that I was quite familiar with. I stood to the side as he waltzed in, closed the door behind him, and locked it. I was instantly curious.
“Harry went to go get more weed with Niall and Louis and Zayn just did tequila shots and put a blanket in the backyard for them to take a power nap so they can wake up for the party.” He laughed, “These are all their belligerent words, not mine.”
I eyed him suspiciously, he was suddenly not being an asshole, but that was probably because he didn’t have anyone to hang out with right now but me.
The silence got awkward as I continued to stare at him and then he cracked a sly grin, “Would you happen to want a line?”
keep going!
5/20/14