What Does it Mean? ~ COMPLETED
Won't Let Go
Harmony’s POV
Harry’s family came to visit today. I gave them space to be with Harry alone. Although I wasn’t in the room, Anne’s crying was heard on the entire floor. I know how she feels to be close to losing a loved one. It hurts so much, and then when you least expect it they leave. They just leave, and they take a piece of your heart with them.
I’m not saying Harry’s going to die. All I’m saying is that if he were, I’d know what Anne is going through. He hasn’t said goodbye yet. I have a feeling that this is somewhat my fault. I’m not sure how, but I just feel like it is. Lou and Zayn have told me repeatedly that it isn’t, but I just shake it aside and take blame for absolutely nothing.
Gemma finally managed to get a very teary Anne to leave. They had to go visit some relatives out of the country. They didn’t want to leave, but everything had already been paid for, and the family was expecting them. I hugged them goodbye and held onto Anne’s words of wisdom.
“Don’t give up on him.”
I’ve made it my goal to never doubt that he’s going to live. Harry won’t die; his body just needs to rest before coming back to reality. I wonder what he thinks about, if he thinks. Does he think about me? Does his mind come across even a slight thought of me? Is he just yearning to wake up, but he can’t seem to find a way?
The hospital won’t let me stay after visiting hours. Only family is aloud, and even though I have argued a million times that I am his girlfriend, they still won’t let me stay. Every day I get up early, so I can go and see him as long as visiting hours last.
Today wasn’t any different. I woke up to take my normal power shower, got dressed, ate some breakfast, and waited for Zayn to come by and drop me off at the hospital. He would go talk to Louis, whereas I would go and sit in Harry’s room. I talk to him about everything I did while I had to leave. I held onto his hand and talked for days on end. I honestly don’t care if it takes him months to wake up as long as he does.
I’ve been going to a dance studio after visiting hours to clear my mind. It was always empty. I put my ear buds in and danced to the music it produced. I practiced my dances for work and stayed until it was closing time around 11.
Dani came back. She’s staying an extra week than planned because of the accident. If Harry doesn’t wake up before Dani and I have to go back, Quin says I can have one more month, but that is it. They need me back by November, so I can be filled in on how the clustered holiday seasons work.
I haven’t talked to anyone but Harry. If Harry can’t hear me, nobody can hear me. A part of me believes he actually does hear me talking to him about my late night dance sessions and quiet outings with the rest of the group. The nurses told me this was actually quite possible and that it may speed up the recovery process, so this just enables me to have an excuse to talk more.
Louis has been released. He has to be watched under careful eye, or El. She just came back from Paris because she was also visiting relatives. At least she still has relatives. My only real family is Drew, but I still have all of my One Direction family too.
It has been two weeks and still no sign of Harry waking up. I still have faith though because he just can’t leave me. There is no way I’m going to let him leave me. His bruises are becoming barely noticeable, and some of his scars have healed. Dani had to go back to America, but I was allowed to stay here. Many of the fans have been sending get well soon cards, some of which even directed to me telling me to not give up hope. Sometimes I don’t know what to make of Directioners. One minute they want to kill me for dating Harry; another minute they’re telling me that they’re sorry for me. I just wish they’d wake up their minds and stick with it.
Today, Zayn refuses to take me to see Harry. He said it was for my own good. He and the other boys think I may have lost it. I still refuse to talk to them. I lock them out while I sit in the corner to cry over Harry. Oh, Harry, when will you ever wake up?
Louis and Zayn have dragged me out of my flat to see a therapist. Harry’s not dead you idiots! I don’t see the point in this. I’m perfectly fine. The lady asked me to draw a picture of how I felt after refusing to talk to her for half an hour. I did my best and drew a picture of Harry sleeping with a heart around it. She told me that wasn’t what she asked me to do, but I just stood up and walked out then had Louis and Zayn take me home.
When I got back I went to my computer and looked at old pictures of Harry and me. He looked so happy, so full of life, but that life has nearly been taken by a truck driver. I print out a few of the pictures and take them to the hospital the next day. I talked to Harry about them so he wouldn’t forget all of the times we had together.
You could say I am losing it, but I just don’t want to let go.
Harry’s family came to visit today. I gave them space to be with Harry alone. Although I wasn’t in the room, Anne’s crying was heard on the entire floor. I know how she feels to be close to losing a loved one. It hurts so much, and then when you least expect it they leave. They just leave, and they take a piece of your heart with them.
I’m not saying Harry’s going to die. All I’m saying is that if he were, I’d know what Anne is going through. He hasn’t said goodbye yet. I have a feeling that this is somewhat my fault. I’m not sure how, but I just feel like it is. Lou and Zayn have told me repeatedly that it isn’t, but I just shake it aside and take blame for absolutely nothing.
Gemma finally managed to get a very teary Anne to leave. They had to go visit some relatives out of the country. They didn’t want to leave, but everything had already been paid for, and the family was expecting them. I hugged them goodbye and held onto Anne’s words of wisdom.
“Don’t give up on him.”
I’ve made it my goal to never doubt that he’s going to live. Harry won’t die; his body just needs to rest before coming back to reality. I wonder what he thinks about, if he thinks. Does he think about me? Does his mind come across even a slight thought of me? Is he just yearning to wake up, but he can’t seem to find a way?
The hospital won’t let me stay after visiting hours. Only family is aloud, and even though I have argued a million times that I am his girlfriend, they still won’t let me stay. Every day I get up early, so I can go and see him as long as visiting hours last.
Today wasn’t any different. I woke up to take my normal power shower, got dressed, ate some breakfast, and waited for Zayn to come by and drop me off at the hospital. He would go talk to Louis, whereas I would go and sit in Harry’s room. I talk to him about everything I did while I had to leave. I held onto his hand and talked for days on end. I honestly don’t care if it takes him months to wake up as long as he does.
I’ve been going to a dance studio after visiting hours to clear my mind. It was always empty. I put my ear buds in and danced to the music it produced. I practiced my dances for work and stayed until it was closing time around 11.
Dani came back. She’s staying an extra week than planned because of the accident. If Harry doesn’t wake up before Dani and I have to go back, Quin says I can have one more month, but that is it. They need me back by November, so I can be filled in on how the clustered holiday seasons work.
I haven’t talked to anyone but Harry. If Harry can’t hear me, nobody can hear me. A part of me believes he actually does hear me talking to him about my late night dance sessions and quiet outings with the rest of the group. The nurses told me this was actually quite possible and that it may speed up the recovery process, so this just enables me to have an excuse to talk more.
Louis has been released. He has to be watched under careful eye, or El. She just came back from Paris because she was also visiting relatives. At least she still has relatives. My only real family is Drew, but I still have all of my One Direction family too.
It has been two weeks and still no sign of Harry waking up. I still have faith though because he just can’t leave me. There is no way I’m going to let him leave me. His bruises are becoming barely noticeable, and some of his scars have healed. Dani had to go back to America, but I was allowed to stay here. Many of the fans have been sending get well soon cards, some of which even directed to me telling me to not give up hope. Sometimes I don’t know what to make of Directioners. One minute they want to kill me for dating Harry; another minute they’re telling me that they’re sorry for me. I just wish they’d wake up their minds and stick with it.
Today, Zayn refuses to take me to see Harry. He said it was for my own good. He and the other boys think I may have lost it. I still refuse to talk to them. I lock them out while I sit in the corner to cry over Harry. Oh, Harry, when will you ever wake up?
Louis and Zayn have dragged me out of my flat to see a therapist. Harry’s not dead you idiots! I don’t see the point in this. I’m perfectly fine. The lady asked me to draw a picture of how I felt after refusing to talk to her for half an hour. I did my best and drew a picture of Harry sleeping with a heart around it. She told me that wasn’t what she asked me to do, but I just stood up and walked out then had Louis and Zayn take me home.
When I got back I went to my computer and looked at old pictures of Harry and me. He looked so happy, so full of life, but that life has nearly been taken by a truck driver. I print out a few of the pictures and take them to the hospital the next day. I talked to Harry about them so he wouldn’t forget all of the times we had together.
You could say I am losing it, but I just don’t want to let go.
8/10/13